[personal profile] something_rare
Title: Silent Cries, Mighty Echoes - Chapter Five
Pairing: Adam/Tommy
Word Count: 5,477
Rating: R
Warning: Slash Connotation
Summary: Tommy is second guessing his choices, and he is not the only one.
Note: Story title taken from Eloy's eight album.
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events are fictious.
Special Thanks: To my fabulous beta reader, [info]bigj52. You are gold!




Chapter Five

On the fourth day of Tommy’s seclusion, he finally opened the door to his room and took in the fresh air, filling his lungs. He was depressed and tired.
 
When Adam left his room the night he’d told him how he felt, he slipped into a major state of depression and confusion. And the only way he knew how to deal with it was to shelter himself from it, resulting in seclusion. Once again, he locked himself in his room, refusing to even answer any phone calls. He needed to be alone and away from Adam.
 
Despite his Do Not Disturb sign hanging on the handle of his door, every morning Adam stopped and knocked. And every morning Tommy sat by the door and listened to Adam pleading with him to come out.
 
For four full days, Tommy ignored him.
Today, he had no choice but to finally come out of his hiding place.
 
His future mother-in-law, Anne, called him first thing in the morning and insisted that they meet for lunch. She was anxious to go over the final details of the wedding and honeymoon.
 
And when Tommy heard that, he just about had a nervous breakdown. As far as he knew, they were going on an Alaskan cruise...   Was it ever going to end?
 
When Tommy called Amanda demanding to know whether or not she was aware that her mother was choosing their honeymoon location, she fell silent. He had his answer. She knew. Hell, she probably even suggested it in the first place. He couldn’t be sure of anything except the fact that she knew and she didn’t tell him.
 
Amanda was the one who needed to grow a backbone…not him. Adam had the two of them confused.
 
Closing the front door, Tommy turned around and walked down the stairs, but not before quickly glancing over at Adam’s door. The fresh air felt good entering his lungs and the spacious outdoors actually calmed his rattling nerves. Taking a deep cleansing breath, he stopped to look around once he hit the ground. It was a beautiful day…not a cloud in the sky. It wasn’t too hot and the breeze felt wonderful blowing against his skin.
 
Tommy was determined not to let Anne ruin such a beautiful day.
 
Walking down the path, he headed for Bayside. At least Anne let him have a say on where they would eat lunch. Wasn’t that nice of her?
 
The beautiful day was about to come to a screeching halt.
 
Tommy’s smile quickly faded when he caught of glimpse of Adam and Ted in the distance coming towards him. Adam had his arm around Ted and they were both laughing at something. Tears filled his eyes almost immediately. Why was he suddenly feeling this way? It never bothered him before to see Adam with someone. And most of the time he actually saw Adam, he was always with someone. He was rarely without some man on his arm.
 
Desperate for them not to see him, Tommy quickly turned to his left and began taking a different path. The last thing he wanted to do was to have to stop and talk to them. He didn’t want to spoil his good mood.
 
“Hey, Tommy!” Ted shouted.
 
Tommy closed his eyes and swore under his breath. He had been hoping that they wouldn't notice him. His hopes were squashed. He was pretty much positive that his good mood was about to spoiled.
 
Dropping his head, he picked up his pace when he heard Ted shout again. “Tommy!”
 
There was no way out of this.
 
Tommy stopped, turned around and waved. “Hi guys!” Turning on his heels again to continue to his destination, he picked up his pace.
 
“Wait up!”
 
“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath, stopping in his tracks. This was not what he needed now. Lifting his head, he did his best to produce a smile as they walked up to him, now hand in hand.
 
“What’s the rush?” Ted asked.
 
“Oh…I’m meeting Anne for lunch,” he casually said, glancing at his watch. “And I can’t be late…what’s up?” Tommy looked up at Ted. He was doing his best to ignore Adam.
 
“Where’ve you been hiding out?” Ted asked, looking over at Adam. “Adam rented a boat for the day yesterday and we looked all around for you so that you could join us.”
 
“Oh,” Tommy replied, biting down on his bottom lip while trying to swallow down the lump in his throat. “Well, that was nice of you…I haven’t been feeling too good lately, so I was just hanging out in my room taking it easy.” He closed his eyes momentarily to hide the shame he felt for lying.
 
Lying wasn’t something he enjoyed doing. And it wasn’t something he was very good at either. Even when he was a tyke, he fidgeted when he lied, always giving it away to whomever he lied to. And now was no different.
 
When he opened his eyes, he looked directly at Adam. Damn…he knows… He knew Adam knew he was lying just by the way Adam was looking at him.
 
Tommy looked down at his watch again. “Listen, guys…I have to go…I’ll see you guys later.” Relieved, he sighed. He made it through without even having to say a word to Adam.
 
“Hey…aren’t the restaurants that way?” Adam cleared his throat and then pointed down the same path that Ted and he were just on.
 
Tommy stopped and followed his finger. “Yeah…but I wanted the exercise today.” Tommy smiled at him, but didn’t move.
 
“Ted, why don’t you head back towards my place? I’ll catch up in a minute. I need to talk to Tommy about something.”
 
“Okay, sweetie.”
 
Shit… Willing his feet to start moving, Tommy scrunched up his face at the sound of their lips smacking. It seemed like the sound was magnified just so that he could hear and he wanted nothing more than to plug his ears to block it out.
 
It was a horrible, gut-wrenching sound.
 
Finally giving up on his feet, Tommy waited for Adam to come to him. He wasn’t about to turn around and go to him. If Adam wanted to say something, he should be the one to make the first move.
 
Walking up behind him, Tommy could feel Adam getting closer and he knew exactly when Adam was directly on his heels. Tommy couldn’t see Adam’s shadow, he couldn’t see his body and he couldn’t see his feet…but he knew.
 
“Tommy?”
 
“Yeah.”
 
Adam placed his hands on Tommy’s shoulders and leaned forward to whisper, “Are you feeling better?”
 
Tommy closed his eyes; he knew Adam knew he lied about not feeling well. Was this Adam’s way of testing him or teasing him?
 
“Yes, much better, thank you.”
 
He felt Adam’s breath against his neck. “Did you finish your song?”
 
Tommy smiled; Adam really did know him all too well. “No.”
 
“Are you still going to let me listen to it?”
 
Adam’s body was getting closer to Tommy’s and Tommy was having a hard time concentrating on what Adam was saying. “Yes.”
 
“You sure?”
 
“Yes,” he whispered.
 
Adam’s voice dropped a notch. “Good…I’ll pick it up tonight…say around ten?”
 
“Fine.”
 
His hands fell from Tommy’s shoulders as he walked away.
 
Once Tommy was certain that Adam wasn’t near, he took a deep breath and gasped for air. This fresh air wasn’t doing him much good after all. He should’ve just invited Anne to come for lunch in his room.
 
**********
 
When Tommy finally stumbled into Bayside, he could see Anne glancing at her watch. He whispered a couple of profanities under his breath, put on his best smile and walked up behind his soon to be mother-in-law, gently tapping her on the shoulder. “Sorry I’m late…I just ran into Adam and he said to say hello to you.”
 
Another lie…but one necessary in order to keep the peace.
 
“Oh…that dear boy…always putting on the charm, isn’t he?” Anne asked, shaking her head.
 
Tommy kissed Anne on the cheek and took a seat across from her. “You know Adam.”
 
Anne let out a little laugh. “That I do.” Clearing her throat, she leaned on the table and lowered her voice. “I heard he’s been charming Ted too.”
 
Tommy tried to hide his surprise. How did she know these things? She just landed on the island a little over two hours ago and already she knew the scoop. What else did this lady know?
 
Anne winked. “It’s the hottest gossip, dear…surely you knew about it.”
 
Tommy managed a little smile. “I’ve seen them around but I don’t…”
 
Anne interrupted him, “I do wish that boy would settle down and plant his feet on solid ground. You would think at his age, he’d be thinking about marriage and not sex.”
 
Tommy listened to her in disbelief. “Anne, I don’t think Adam only looks for sex. However, that’s not to say that most of the men are willing to give it to him because of who he is,” he trailed, shrugging. “But I doubt that sex plays that big a role.”
 
“Oh nonsense, dear, you know Adam better than most. You’ve seen the men he’s been with…they’re all drop-dead gorgeous,” Anne acknowledged, rubbing her chin slightly. “Not really husband material in my opinion.”
 
“I wouldn’t say they're not husband material…”
 
“Well, I would,” Anne interjected.
 
Tommy cleared his throat, shrugging. “It’s obvious why he attracts all the drop-dead gorgeous men,” he paused for a moment and then stated matter-of-factly, “He’s drop-dead gorgeous.”
 
“Well…I’m just saying that he needs to start thinking with his head,” she lowered her voice and her eyes. “And not with what’s in his pants.”
 
Tommy had to hold his laughter in. He’d never heard Anne make mention of a penis before. Never. “He just has to be careful, that’s all…being a star doesn’t make looking for a husband who wants him for himself any easier, I’m sure.”
 
Anne waved her hands in the air. “Enough talk about him…let’s talk flowers, dear.”
 
Tommy’s head immediately started pounding, along with his heart. “The flowers? I think Amanda said they’ve already been ordered.”
 
“Yes.” Anne cocked her head slightly and frowned. “That’s what we need to talk about. I took the liberty and changed the order a little.” She put her hand on Tommy’s. “I knew you and Amanda wouldn’t mind dear.”
 
Took the liberty?
Wouldn’t mind?

 
Tommy’s mind was reeling. “What did you change?”
 
“Not too much,” Anne said, pulling a notebook out of her briefcase and opening it up. “Let’s see…the table arrangements weren’t quite big enough, so I told the florist to add another tier along with a dozen more peach roses to accent it.”
 
Peach?
 
“Then I had her add five more arrangements to the head table.” Anne looked up from her notebook and nodded. “The table’s so big, dear…so I really think it needed more.”
 
More?
 
“The bridesmaid’s bouquets weren’t exactly what I had in mind so I told her to tweak them a bit too.”
 
Tweak?
 
“And well…” Anne trailed, shaking her head in a disapproving way. “The men’s boutonnieres were a little on the plain side if you ask me, so I………”
 
Who asked you?
 
Much to Tommy’s horror, Anne continued on. “And then there’s your suit…….”
 
Okay, that did it. No one, but no one was going to mess with his suit. “I love my suit.”
 
Anne gently rubbed her hand over the top of Tommy’s hand. “Of course you do dear, but it was almost drab looking, so I asked the tailor to change it up a bit.” She closed the notebook and smiled. “Really, dear…I don’t know what you were thinking when you ordered that suit.” Patting his hand, she cocked her head to the side. “So…what’d you think?”
 
What do I think?
You’re asking me NOW?
I hate it.
You ruined all the flowers, every single last one of them…you ruined them all.
This is our wedding…
At least, it was our wedding...

 
For fear of lashing out, Tommy simply forced his lips to form a smile. “It sounds fine, Anne.”
 
Oh fuck…Adam was right…I do need a backbone…
 
Anne patted his hand one last time before removing it. “Good…everything is set then, dear. The wedding coordinator should be here sometime at the end of next week.”
 
Tommy’s head jerked back. “Next week? There’s still five and a half weeks left until the wedding. Why does she have to be here a whole month early?”
 
Instantly, he could tell that he’d hit a nerve by the way Anne looked at him. “Dear…this is a huge event and a huge event takes a lot of time and money.”
 
He lowered his head. “I know.”
 
Anne reached over and placed his hand on Tommy’s chin, lifting it up. “Good. Now, the honeymoon has been booked and Mr. Barlow and I have decided to keep it a surprise for you two…so, all we can say is pack your sun block, bathing suit and sandals.”
 
Oh Yippee…we’re going to be honeymooning here!
 
Anne frowned. “You don’t look too happy, dear…is something wrong?”
 
“No,” he lied. Couldn’t she tell what was wrong? Was she that ignorant or really that fucking blind?
 
Tommy looked over to his side and noticed Adam and Ted walking in. Instantly, his heart dropped when he noticed them holding hands. He needed oxygen.
 
Anne leaned in. “What is it, dear? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
 
Close.
 
Anne turned around and saw Adam just about to sit down. “Adam, darling!” She jumped out of her seat and walked over to him. Placing her arms around him, Adam leaned down and planted a kiss on her cheek.
 
“Hi, Anne.”
 
“Well…it’s so good to see you,” she said, pulling back and checking him over. “You’re looking good…I guess Amanda was right about needing a vacation to relax. It looks like it’s doing the trick.” Anne looked over at Ted and smiled. “Hello, Ted.”
 
“Hi, Mrs. Barlow.”
 
She looked back at Adam and cocked her head. “Listen…I didn’t say anything to Tommy about it…but next week he has a fitting with the tailor for his suit. I would love it if you could come with us…we need a fashion expert’s opinion.”
 
Adam smiled, looking around Anne’s shoulder to see Tommy. “You’d better check with Tommy first.”
 
“Oh, don’t worry about him,” she replied, waving her hand. “He won’t mind.” Anne looked over at Ted again, before walking away. “Nice to see you, Ted.”
 
“You too, Mrs. Barlow.”
 
When Anne returned to her seat, Tommy forced himself to remain calm. “What’s this about the fitting?”
 
“You heard me?”
 
“Yes…most of it.” Tommy’s shoulders slumped. “I thought I was going back home for my last fitting. I’ve already got the date scheduled and my brother-in-law took the time off work.”
 
Anne waved him off. “That’s too much bother, dear…I’m flying the tailor and your suit here so you can tell your brother-in-law not to bother wasting a vacation day.”
 
Tommy frowned and let out a whimper. “He didn’t consider it to be a waste.” He glanced over at Adam’s table and was surprised to see him staring right back at him. It was awkward for a few moments but quickly eased when he noticed Adam taking his fingers and pressing his lips into a smile.
 
He got the hint.
 
“So when is Amanda arriving on the Island?”
 
Tommy faked a smile and looked at Adam. Adam winked at him. “Two weeks from Friday.”
 
“Ah yes…then the guys are flying out that same night for the bachelor party weekend, right?”
 
“Yeah…something like that.” He pointed over to Adam, giving a little nod. “Adam’s the one who planned the whole weekend, he’d probably know.”
 
Anne stood up and grabbed her briefcase. Putting her notebook back inside, she zipped it closed and walked over to Tommy, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “Okay then, dear. I’ll talk to Adam next week about it. Have a nice day.”
 
“Didn’t you want to eat?”
 
“Not here,” Anne replied. “I’m going to head over to The Islander for lunch.”
 
Figures... “Oh, all right then.”
 
"I'm so glad we agreed on everything. I do think it was a much needed improvement."
 
We agreed? Tommy waited until Anne walked out the doors before letting his head fall flat on the table.
 
His good mood was gone.
His beautiful day was ruined.
 
**********
 
Pacing the floor, Tommy tried to calm himself down. But it was no use… Picking up the phone, he dialed Isaac’s number just barely able to hold himself together. And as soon as Isaac said “hello”, the tears started flowing.
 
For over an hour, Isaac listened while his friend laughed, cried and rambled on about the wedding.
 
“Buddy…do you want me there earlier?”
 
Tommy sighed, his shoulders slumping. “I don’t think it’ll do much good, man. But if you want to, I won’t stop you.”
 
Isaac laughed. “Okay then…I’ll make arrangements to come out there for two weeks instead of one…does that sound good?”
 
“Yeah, buddy…thanks.”
 
“Dude…don’t worry about anything. Okay?”
 
Tommy’s voice lowered. “Okay.” He jumped when he heard the thunder crack outside. “Yikes!”
 
“Was that thunder?”
 
“Yeah…you could hear that?” Tommy walked over to the balcony and shut the sliding door. “Shit, can you hear that too? It’s raining buckets out there.”
 
“It sounds like a doozy…are you in for the night?”
 
“Yeah…it’s late and I’m tired. I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep or not though. I’ve got too much on my mind these days.”
 
Isaac sighed. “Okay, Tommy…try and get some rest. I’ll call you in a couple of days. Hang in there, boy.”
 
“I will, Isaac.”
 
“I love you, dude.”
 
“I love you too. Bye.” Tommy hung up the phone and made his way into his bedroom. What he desperately needed was a good night’s sleep. Or a mother-in-law who would butt out and do nothing more than merely show up at the scheduled time for the ceremony. “Fat chance,” he mumbled, removing his clothes and throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a tank. It was the most comfortable outfit he owned and the one that Amanda hated the most.
 
He’d just lain down in bed when he heard someone pounding on the door. “Oh for crying out loud, Anne. There's nothing left to change,” he mumbled, sprinting to the door. Opening it, he stared at the sight before him before finally giving in to his laughter.
 
Adam was drenched to the bone.
Adam looked drop-dead gorgeous drenched to the bone.
 
“Stop laughing at me and invite me in.”
 
“Sorry.” He opened the door completely and pulled Adam in. “To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you soaked to the bone?”
 
Adam shook his head and ran his hand over his forehead, wiping away the drenched locks. “You mean, I ran all the way here from the club, in the pouring rain, and you don’t know what in hell I’m doing here?”
 
Tommy shook his head.
 
“What time is it?”
 
Tommy looked back at the clock. “Five after ten.”
 
“That’s right…it’s ten,” he said, using his shirt to dry off his face. “Shit…it’s useless, I’m going to need a towel.”
 
Tommy thought long and hard for a moment, trying his best to ignore Adam’s abdomen that was staring right back at him. “Oh yeah…you want to hear my songs.”
 
Adam mocked him, “Oh yeah…I want to hear your songs.”
 
Tommy shot him a dirty look. “I’ve had a really really bad day…don’t mess with me.”
 
When Tommy turned around, he felt Adam’s hand on his shoulder. “You need a shoulder to cry on?”
 
Yeah… “I’m not a girl, man,” he huffed, walking into the bedroom. Moments later, he came out carrying his laptop and his flash drive. When he handed the items to Adam, he pointed his finger in Adam’s chest. “Remember…no critiquing.”
 
Adam smiled and dropped his gaze. “Nice outfit…is that Anne approved?”
 
Tommy jokingly punched him in the gut. “Fuck off.”
 
Adam’s eyes traveled down again. “Looks comfortable.”
 
“It is.”
 
His eyes traveled back up again. “Looks cozy.”
 
“It’s that too,” Tommy acknowledged.
 
“Looks dry.”
 
“It….” Tommy started to laugh when he realized what Adam was getting at. “Do you want to borrow a robe or something? I’d offer you another pair of sweats, but I don’t think you’d fit into them.”
 
Adam laughed. “Nah…it’s okay. I’m going to run back to my room and put some sweats on myself…I’ll be back in a few.” He turned to leave and then stopped when Tommy called him. “Yeah?”
 
“I was actually just heading to bed.”
 
Adam looked up and jerked his head towards the skylights. “But it’s raining on your skylights and you told me that I could listen with you sometime…remember?”
 
Tommy smiled. He knew that Adam was looking for any excuse to stay. He knew Tommy needed someone to talk to and he knew he was just that right person. “Yeah…I remember. Hurry back.”
 
Adam was definitely someone who cared.
He was a good friend.
Maybe even his best friend.
And he was determined not to change that.
 
Tommy had just sat down on floor and leaned against the couch when Adam walked back into his room. “I’m singing in the rain…just singing in the rain…” He slammed the door shut. “Now I’m going to…listen to the rain…just listen to the rain…”
 
The sound of his voice brought a smile to Tommy’s face.
He loved hearing Adam sing.
He loved hearing Adam.
And no matter how much he loved everything about Adam, they could not and would not ever be anything more than just friends.
 
Adam sat down next to him on the floor and put his arm around Tommy. Neither one said a word as they sat there, just listening to the sound of the rain.
 
And then Tommy gave in.
 
Resting his head on Adam’s shoulder, Tommy finally started to relax. It felt good to be in his arms. It felt good to have a friend like Adam. And that’s what he was…a good friend.
 
His own thoughts started to rattle him. Who was he trying to convince? Himself? It sure sounded like that’s who he was trying to convince, but what was the point of doing that? Tommy already knew that Adam was a friend and nothing more.
 
Letting out a deep breath, he sighed loudly. “She changed all our plans…every single last one of them…”
 
Adam slowly rested his head on Tommy’s. “In the grand scheme of things, Tommy…wedding plans aren’t really all that important. What’s important is the commitment and the vow that you’re…..”
 
Tommy interrupted him, “I know that, Adam…but it doesn’t change the fact that she changed our plans and Amanda won’t even do anything about it.”
 
“I take it you already talked to her about it?”
 
Tommy nodded.
 
Adam brought his free arm around and embraced Tommy. “Do you think it would help if I talked to her?”
 
Tommy shook his head.
 
“Are you sure?”
 
Tommy lifted his head and looked right into Adam’s eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. You can’t talk to her. It’ll just make things worse.” He put his head to Adam’s shoulder again, “Thank you for offering though.”
 
“Shhhh…….just listen,” he whispered.
 
The rain sounded loud against the skylights. Just the way Tommy liked it. That sound could actually lull him to sleep. “Do you have to get going?”
 
“No,” Adam whispered, resting his head on Tommy’s again.
 
“Will you stay with me for a while?”
 
“For as long as you want, Tommy.”
 
**********
 
When Tommy woke up the next morning, he let his head fall to the side. He was lying on the floor completely covered up with blankets and his head was resting on a pillow. Flipping his head over to the other side, he noticed Adam all sprawled out next to him with the same blanket covering him.
 
Lifting the blanket carefully, he glanced down. Oh shit…he’s hard!
 
Tommy let go of the blanket quickly and covered his eyes with his hands. With one hand, he slowly pulled the blanket up again, and peeked through his fingers on the one hand that remained covering his eyes. Oh shit…he’s huge!!
 
The phone ringing caused him to jump and drop the blanket. Goddamn it!
 
He got up slowly and made his way to his cell phone that was sitting on the end table. “Hello,” he whispered, being careful not to disturb Adam.
 
“Hey, honey…it’s me.”
 
Tommy walked into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. “Hi, honey.”
 
“Miss me yet?”
 
He paused momentarily and thought about Adam lying on the floor just outside his bedroom door. “Of course.”
 
“How’s everything going?”
 
He took a deep breath and blew it out. “I think you pretty much know.”
 
“Now, honey…I told you that’ll I talk to my mother just as soon as I get to the Island.”
 
“I’ve heard that before.”
 
Amanda sounded aggravated with his flippant attitude. Shouldn’t she be the one who was angry? It was her wedding too.  Wasn’t the perfect wedding day every girl’s dream?
 
“I mean it this time. She needs to butt out and I’m going to tell her just that. I promise, handsome. Just give me some time to work it out with her.”
 
“You said the same thing two years ago.”
 
Her voice grew louder, “Goddamn it, Tommy…I said I promise, okay?”
 
“Calm down…Why are you yelling at me?” he huffed, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. “You should be yelling at your mother.” Tommy rubbed his forehead with his hand before covering his eyes. “And why haven't you said anything to your mother about our honeymoon yet? We decided, together, that we were going to go on that Alaskan cruise we’ve been talking about for the past year.”
 
“We are,” Amanda stated matter-of-factly.
 
“Yeah...when?"
 
“Oh Christ, Tommy…just let her do what she wants to do…it makes her happy, okay?” she moaned. “God…we’ll go on that Alaskan cruise another time. Is it really that big of a deal to you?”
 
Tommy was so upset by this point that he was seeing red. “Yes, it is that big of a deal. Why does she have to run everything in our lives? You know how much I was looking forward to that cruise.”
 
“I can’t talk about this now. We’ll deal with it when I get there.”
 
That was always Amanda’s response to everything. She’d deal with anything and everything later.
 
“Okay…I have to run. I’ll call you later.”
 
 “Yeah…okay.”
 
When he hung up the phone, he opened her eyes and noticed two bare feet on the floor. Then, he felt Adam’s hand on his shoulder. Lifting his head, he wrapped his arms around Adam’s waist and pressed his head to Adam’s stomach, his eyes only inches away from Adam’s previously erect penis.
 
He took note of that immediately.
 
“Is everything okay?” Adam asked gently.
 
“How long have you been standing there?”
 
Adam’s body shifted in between Tommy’s legs; his hands moving to Tommy’s head. “Pretty much the whole time.”
 
“So you heard and saw everything?” he asked, slightly cringing.
 
 “Pretty much.”
 
Tommy looked up at him; the sadness apparent in his eyes. “She promised me that she’s going to talk to her…she promised.”
 
“I know.” He crouched down, resting his body on his knees. Looking Tommy straight in the eye, he asked, “Do you think she’s going to follow through?”
 
Tommy shrugged his shoulders, looking back into his eyes. He knew Adam was concerned, his eyes said it all. “Time will tell.”
 
“Tommy…I know you don’t want to hear this, but I really…”
 
He stood up quickly and cut him off. “Please don’t start…she’ll come through this time.” Walking over to the closet, he threw the doors open and immediately started rummaging through, pulling out a t-shirt and jeans and throwing them on the bed. “Do you want to head over for breakfast?”
 
Adam shook his head and stood up, watching Tommy’s every move. “No…I need to go back to my room and get some sleep…on a bed.”
 
Tommy could feel himself blushing from the intensity of Adam’s stare. “Oh…thanks for staying all night…I actually did get some sleep last night. First night in a long time.”
 
“Don’t mention it.” Adam turned to leave and then stopped in the doorway, turning around, his arms folded against his chest. “Hey…and by the way…were you trying to sneak a peek earlier?”
 
Startled by his question, Tommy froze. Thank God he had his back to Adam or else he’d know the answer to that right away by the look on Tommy’s face. No doubt about it.
 
“Well?”
 
Tommy started laughing.
 
“That’s what I thought.” Adam walked up to him and snaked his arms around Tommy’s waist, whispering in his ear. “You don’t have to sneak, Tommy…All you have to do is ask.”
 
Tommy’s laughter faded quickly.
 
“Remember that,” he whispered, placing a kiss on Tommy’s cheek. Adam let go of him and started to walk away again.
 
This time, Tommy stopped him by grabbing Adam’s wrist with his hand. “You’d show me if I asked?”
 
Adam turned around, shrugging his shoulders while he smiled. “Sure…why not?”
 
Adam let go of his wrist and walked over to the bed. Picking up a pillow, he flicked it at Adam. “I can’t believe you!”
 
Adam caught the pillow just before it hit him in the head. “What can I say? I’m pretty proud of the little guy.”
 
“Oh my God…you didn’t just say that!”
 
“Oh yes I did.” He reached down and grabbed the waistband of his sweats. “Do you want to see?”
 
Yeah… Tommy closed his eyes and covered them with his hands. “I’ve seen it before.”
 
“Oh, come on, Tommy,” Adam smirked. “That was a long time ago…it’s grown since then.”
 
“I noticed,” Tommy mumbled, peeking through the slits of his fingers. “And no, I don’t want to see my best friend’s penis…now get out of here!”
 
“It didn’t bother you the first time.”
 
Tommy removed his hands and cocked his head, pursing his lips. “You weren’t my best friend then…there’s a big difference.”
 
Adam frowned, quickly turning around. “Being best friends is great…but ultimately it’s not what I want. And if you think for one second that what I want and what you want are two different things…you’re fooling yourself,” he mumbled before walking out the door.
 
**********
 
The next week flew by for Adam. He pretty much kept himself busy, hanging out with Ted and relaxing whenever he could. Sadly, he didn’t see much of Tommy. He was in over-drive mode with the wedding plans. And whenever they did happen to pass each other, Tommy didn’t have much time to talk other than to say hello.
 
The last time he’d seen Tommy though, Adam specifically pulled him aside and told him that he wanted to sit down and talk about Tommy’s songs. Tommy agreed, however reluctantly it was, that they could meet that night after dinner, down by the pool.
 
Glancing at his watch, he swore under his breath. Tommy was supposed to be there over an hour ago and there was still no sign of him.
 
He had Tommy’s laptop sitting on his lap with his fingers busily drumming along on the cover. He was uptight and for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why.
 
Tommy’s songs were wonderful. He promised Tommy he wouldn’t critique it…but damn, it was good music. He found himself relating a lot to most of the songs.
 
At first, it startled Adam a bit. It was almost as if Tommy was writing about Adam’s emotions. But as he went through Silent Cries, Mighty Echoes it started actually being about Tommy. Or did it? Adam really wasn’t quite sure.
 
Adam definitely had a suggestion for the last song…now, if only Tommy’d show up so Adam could share it with him, he’d be all set. Looking down at his fingers, he drummed louder.
 
“Sorry I’m late.” Tommy breezed past him and sat down beside him on the empty lounge chair. His head tilted back, stretching to each side. “Anne has me running in circles…remind me to never marry a Barlow again, please.”
 
Adam laughed, eyeing Tommy’s neck. “No problem. What’s she changing on you now?”
 
Tommy glanced over at him, letting a loud moan escape from his throat. “Oh, not too much…just the seating arrangements this time.”
 
“Can’t that woman just mind her own business for half a sec or what?”
 
Tommy shook his head. “Nope…she can’t.” He glanced down at his laptop. “So…do you have any ideas for the last song?”
 
Adam looked down and then back at him, letting out a grunt. “Don’t you want to know what I thought first?”
 
“No, I don’t.” Tommy shook his head diligently. “You told me you weren’t going to critique it remember?”
 
Adam smiled at him, shrugging. “Fine,” he said, leaning in closer to Tommy. “But it’s a fantastic album, Tommy, it really is. And the sexy songs?” Adam’s eyebrows shot way up. “Wow…they even had me all hot and bothered.”
 
Even in the darkness he could tell that Tommy was blushing.
 
“Thanks,” he said quietly.
 
“Where’d you come up with some of those ideas anyway?” He hit Tommy on the arm and laughed. “And to think you were unsure of yourself when it comes to writing good songs.” Adam glanced at him. “From the looks of it, you and Amanda must have quite the relationship going on.”
 
Tommy’s head dropped. “Oh fuck…that is so not true.” He raised his head. “I mean…about the unsure thing.”
 
Adam wondered whether or not Tommy was telling the truth. He was pretty sure that he wasn’t, but he couldn’t be positive. Adam sat there, watching Tommy stare off into the darkness in front of him. He couldn’t help but become serious now. He loved this man sitting in front of him. True, he was definitely one of his best friends, but he wanted more.
 
Couldn’t Tommy see that what he was writing about in some of the songs was actually happening to them in a roundabout way? Tommy had written a song about a boy falling in love with his best friend.
 
Coincidence? Adam didn’t think so.
 
“Okay,” he said, drumming again on the cover of the laptop. “You know what I find so sad about that last song of yours?”
 
Tommy looked over at Adam’s hand, watching his fingers move. “What?”
 
“That it is about two people who are so right for each other,” Adam trailed, waiting for Tommy to look at him, “and yet they have such a difficult time admitting that.”
 
Tommy never said a word. He just met Adam’s stare head-on.
 
Adam got up from his chair and handed Tommy the laptop. “I think what you need to do is write a song about someone admitting his feelings to their beloved…I think that’s what your album need to be complete. I think that’s what you need to do.”
 
Tommy looked up at Adam standing before him.
 
“I’m not any good at writing those sorts of songs, Adam…what I’m good at is writing dark songs.”
 
Adam crouched down in front of him and smiled. “I can help you with that.”
 
“Yeah…right,” he said sharply.
 
“I’m serious,” Adam said while standing up straight. “I’d be honored, actually.”
 
“Are you sure?” Tommy looked down at his laptop and then back at Adam again.
 
Adam shook his head. “Of course I’m sure, you adorable bozo. I actually took the liberty of writing down something for you. Take a look at it tonight and let me know what you think.” Slowly, he turned around and walked away. “Goodnight, Tommy.”
 
 
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December 2011

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