[personal profile] something_rare
Title: After All (Sequel to Can't Let You Go) - Chapter Five
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer:
This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed
are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely
coincidental.
Note: A huge thank you to [info]bigj52. Thank you for being an amazing beta. I feel guilty for the amount of work I put you through with each story.


Chapter Five

Tuesday didn’t come fast enough in Kris’s honest opinion, his day at work dragged by at an unbelievably slow pace. Whether or not he was going to stop by Adam’s house was on his mind all day. He didn’t know what to do. If he went, was he sending Adam the wrong message? As much as he wanted to see him again, he really knew he shouldn’t and by sending him the wrong message, it could lead to problems with Brian, especially if Brian found out about it.
 
Then again, Adam was his friend, wasn’t he? Kris wanted him to be. Was it even possible to go from being married and lovers, to being just friends? He’d never been in that kind of position before, so he wasn’t sure what the answer was to that question. He’d like to believe that it would be possible, but at the same time, he wasn’t naïve. Or was he?
 
A more perplexed question…could Adam handle just being friends?
 
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes when Brian answered his cell phone. “Hey Brian,” he said, trying his best to act natural despite his nerves. “I’m going to head out to the mall after work and then out to a late dinner with a bunch of the teachers here at work.”
 
“No problem,” Brian said, sounding like he’d bought every word of his lie. “I wasn’t planning on heading over tonight anyway.”
 
“You’ve got group therapy tonight, right?”
 
“Yep.”
 
Kris opened his eyes and sighed; relieved to hear him confirm what he already knew. “I’ll call you when I get home.”
 
“Love you.”
 
“You too.” Kris hung up his cell phone and quickly walked out of the school and to his car.
 
He threw the car in drive and headed out of the parking lot and in the direction to Adam’s place. It wasn’t that long of a drive but it was long enough to have his mind race in a million directions.
 
Thinking about their marriage, Kris sighed while a tear escaped from his eye. They didn’t even really have that long of a “real” marriage. Brian came back into the picture quite soon after they’d made their vows; completely throwing him and everyone who was close to him, for a loop.
 
But despite the fact that their marriage didn’t measure extensively in actual time, they were both happy. He’d never been happier than during those few months. Never. And as much as he wanted to lie and say that his marriage to Brian was better, it wasn’t. Maybe it was because he was so young when he was married to Brian or maybe it was because it was long ago. Or maybe it was just because he’d been so unhappy for so long after Brian’s disappearance that he couldn’t remember a time that he actually was happy. Regardless, even if he and Brian would eventually remarry down the road, he was almost certain that it wouldn’t measure up to his whirlwind romance turned marriage with Adam.
 
Sad, but true.
 
Taking his time, Kris parked his car and slowly made his way to the front door. He stopped abruptly though before ringing the doorbell. What if Adam didn’t remember that he’d asked him over for dinner? What if he was just being nice and really didn’t mean what he’d said?
 
What if?
 
Shaking, he dropped his hand to his side and stepped over a few feet. Kris dropped his head forward, allowing it to hit the brick wall. There, he closed his eyes and tried forcing himself to think positive about what he was about to do. Adam did ask him over for dinner. He wasn’t the type to say one thing but mean another. He knew that.
 
“So…you gonna work up the courage to ring the bell or not?”
 
Kris’s head flew up. For a moment, he contemplated whether or not he should turn around or just drop his head back to the brick wall and pretend that he didn’t hear him.
 
“It’s just dinner, Kris,” Adam whispered in his ear, forcing his eyes shut and his heart to flutter.
 
He sighed, knowing Adam was right. It was just dinner. Dinner between two friends and nothing more.
 
Finding his courage, Kris took a deep breath, blew it out, took another deep breath, blew that one out and then turned around.
 
Immediately, his eyes widened at the unbelievable sight Adam presented to him. He was standing only a few feet behind him, dripping wet; his black wife-beater soaked and clinging to his chest. Cut-off shorts and Nike shoes completed his ensemble.
 
Adam’s head dropped down and then back up to face him. “Do I meet with your approval?” he asked, smiling brightly. “I was doing some much needed working out and I’m a little sweaty.”
 
Kris swallowed hard. “A little?”
 
He smiled back, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. “Okay, a lot.”
 
Kris tried his hardest to look away from Adam, but it was useless. The more he tried, the more his eyes zeroed in on every little detail. Adam’s arms and thighs looked even bigger than they had before. Even his chest looked more defined underneath the wife-beater. It was obvious that he was working out. “I’ll take one of those,” he finally choked out.
 
His eyes narrowed slightly. “Take one of what?”
 
Kris pointed to the juice bottle in his hand and gulped. What did Adam think he was referring to?
 
“Oh,” Adam said, letting out a little laugh. “Sure. Help yourself. They’re in the fridge.” He paused momentarily and then cocked his head to the side. “You do know where the fridge is, right?”
 
Smiling, Adam nodded and walked past him. Opening the front door, he pushed it open and stepped back. “After you.”
 
“I can’t stay long,” Kris said sternly, walking into the house. “I’ve got to wake up early tomorrow and…”
 
Adam interrupted him by laughing. “And if Brian finds out, he’ll go postal on you.” He shut the door behind him and raised his eyebrows. “Right?”
 
Kris dropped his head in silence.
 
“I understand.” Adam took his shoes off at the door and pointed to the living room. “Make yourself comfortable and help yourself to the fridge for your juice. I’m gonna just go and jump in the shower real quick.”
 
Kris took a few steps towards the kitchen and stopped. Turning around, he bit his bottom lip. “Um…really, I don’t have much time so can you forego the shower for now?”
 
Adam cocked his head to the side and shrugged. “If you don’t mind the smell…fine.” He walked around Kris and headed into the kitchen while Kris followed close behind. He opened the fridge and quickly handed Kris a bottle of orange juice, grabbing another one for himself. “You know, Kris…” he trailed, opening the bottle. “If you’d rather not do this, I understand. We don’t have to have dinner.” He took a swig of orange juice and then placed it down on the counter. “I really didn’t think you’d show up so I’m not prepared anyway.”
 
Adam didn’t think he’d show up? He didn’t know how to read Adam’s statement. Was this Adam’s way of excusing him?
 
He fidgeted underneath Adam’s stare for a few moments before turning his attention to his bottle of juice. Quickly, he opened it and took a huge drink. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he simply shook his head. “We can just order pizza or something, that’s fine with me. I wasn’t expecting you to make dinner anyway.”
 
Adam continued to stare at him without saying a word. It was making Kris extremely uncomfortable, which in turn made him drink even faster. They both stood silent for a few moments as he downed his entire bottle. He placed it down on the counter and then turned back to Adam. He was still staring at him.
 
“Okay,” he sighed, taking a deep breath. “Why do you keep staring at me like that?” he asked. Folding his arms in front of his chest, he leaned back against the counter.
 
The smile Adam produced could brighten any room. Kris was sure of that. “No reason,” Adam stated, continuing his visual assault. “You look great,” he said.
 
Kris was to the point of being so uncomfortable that he honestly thought he was going to run out of the room. He didn’t like the feeling. He felt like he was being scrutinized. “Maybe I should just go,” he said quietly.
 
Again, Adam shrugged. “I understand.”
 
He stood up straight and walked past Adam in order to make his way back to the front door.
 
Adam cleared his throat. “Am I making you that uncomfortable?”
 
Kris stopped dead in his tracks, giving Adam a curt nod. “Actually, yes, you are. Very uncomfortable.”
 
“I’m sorry,” he said, opening the fridge back up. Bending down, he reached for a beer this rime and quickly handed it to Kris. “I don’t mean to. Maybe this will help.” Once Kris took the beer from him, he turned around and walked over to the phone. “Okay, where do we want to get the pizza from?”
 
Kris quickly opened the can of beer and took a swig. “Doesn’t matter.”
 
“Okay,” he replied, punching in some numbers.
 
Kris took this time to exit the kitchen and head to the living room. He was desperate to get some distance between them. He wasn’t sure if Adam felt the sexual tension between them, but he sure did. There was definitely some sexual tension on his side.
 
Kris took a seat on the couch. Looking around the room, his gaze went to the hallway where he immediately noticed that their wedding photo was no longer hanging in its original spot.
 
It made his heart pound. It made his hands sweat. But more than anything, it made his heart ache. The picture was up a few days earlier. He’d seen it with his own two eyes when he stopped by to water the plants.
 
“Can I get you something else?” Adam asked from the kitchen.
 
“Another beer,” Kris said bravely, fighting off the emotion he felt at seeing the hallway wall bare.
 
“Already?”
 
“Yep.”
 
Adam came around the corner laughing, handing him another beer. “Well, you either acquired a real liking for beer or you’re just extremely nervous about being alone with me.”
 
Kris smiled at him. “A little of both, I guess.”
 
“I’m betting it’s more of the nervous thing that the other,” he quipped, sitting down on the couch next to him. “So?”
 
“So?”
 
They were both silent for a few minutes, each one staring off into the room, drinking their beer. It was an awkward moment.
 
“You wanna play Taboo?”
 
Kris busted out laughing so hard that he spit his mouthful of beer out right along with it. Taking his hand, he wiped his mouth and looked down at the carpet. “Sorry,” he mumbled, standing to his feet. “I’ll get something to clean it up.”
 
Adam grabbed his arm and yanked him back down to the couch. “Never mind, I’m gonna have the carpets cleaned soon, anyway.”
 
Kris looked over at him. “You sure?”
 
“No,” he said honestly. “But a little beer isn’t gonna hurt anything.”
Silence again.
Dead silence.
 
Kris was desperate to break the silence. It was starting to get to him. “Do you really have Taboo?”
 
Adam laughed, turning to him. “No, but I’ll run to the store and buy it if you really want to play it.”
 
Kris laughed, shaking his head. “Thanks, but I really wasn’t in the mood to play games tonight, anyway.”
 
Games… Hearing the statement come out of his mouth, he had to stifle his laughter. What were they doing now?
 
“I could use another beer,” he squeaked out.
 
Adam’s look of disapproval was painfully obvious. “I think you need to slow down there.” He stood up from the couch and offered his hand.
 

 
The laughter that filled the room was both refreshing and welcomed. Kris hadn’t laughed, really laughed, in such a long time. It felt like old times, only it wasn’t. It felt familiar, only it hadn’t been for quite some time. It just felt good, plain and simple, only he knew it wouldn’t last.
 
Adam pushed the empty pizza box across the carpeted floor in the living room and fell back, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m stuffed,” he moaned, bringing his hand to his stomach. “I haven’t eaten that much in a long time.”
 
Refusing to let himself get down by the fact that he knew the evening was going to eventually have to end, Kris let his stare linger on the man he used to once call husband. “Me neither.” Kris tossed his empty beer to the side and lay out on his stomach. Kicking out his feet, he brought up his elbows and rested his head in his hands. “I think I’m more stuffed because of the beer though.”
 
Adam’s head rolled in his direction. “I wouldn’t doubt it; you actually drank a lot more than me.”
 
“Yep,” Kris said, smiling. Looking over at the hallway wall, he pondered whether or not to ask where their wedding photo went. He was pretty tipsy, so he could always blame it on the alcohol if he acted perturbed. “Hey…where’s our wedding photo?”
 
Adam’s eyes shut briefly. “Took it down.”
 
“Obviously,” he retorted, rolling his eyes, shifting to get some of the weight off his empty and over-full belly. “Where’d you put it?”
 
“Away,” Adam replied sharply.
 
He wasn’t making this easy. “Where?”
 
His eyes flew open and quickly narrowed. “You want it or something?”
 
He had absolutely no idea how bad Kris wanted something, only it wasn’t the picture he had in mind. “Maybe.”
 
“Well,” he retorted, turning his head away from Kris. “You can’t have it. It’s not for sale.”
 
That was a crock of shit. “Everything can be bought for a price.”
 
“Not everything,” Adam growled, eyes locking into his. His stare was intense. “Are we still talking about the wedding photo here or are we thinking of something entirely different now?”
 
Kris shrugged his shoulders, knowing damn well that Adam knew what he was thinking. “Why? Did you have something else in mind you might be interested in selling to me?”
 
Adam’s reply was prompt and harsh. “I don’t have anything for sale, Kris. Nothing.”
 
“Geesh,” he spat. “I didn’t want to buy it, calm down.”
 
Adam sat up quickly. “Let’s talk about something else.”
 
“What else is left?” he asked, keeping his eyes glued to Adam. “We talked about everything already, even your music.”
 
Adam stood to his feet and reached down, offering Kris his hand. “You’re right, there’s really nothing else left to talk about.” Kris ignored his gesture and remained firmly planted on the ground. “I’ll call you a cab.”
 
The evening was about to end promptly. Kris wasn’t expecting that. He thought he had a good hour or so left. “Why?”
 
“It’s time to go.”
 
Adam was trying to ditch him. Of all the nerve. Kris closed his eyes for half a second before realizing that it wasn’t a wise thing to do with all the beer he’d just consumed. “I don’t need a cab.”
 
“Oh, yes, you do,” Adam snapped back.
 
“Oh, no, I don’t,” he scolded, standing to his feet. “Are you trying to get rid of me? Blow me off?”
 
Adam looked him right in the eyes and stepped closer. “If you don’t leave now…” he trailed, taking in a deep breath. Deep in thought, he simply shook his head. “I just think you should probably go.”
 
“I don’t wanna,” Kris pouted, taking a stance by digging his fists into his hips. “I’m having too much fun being friends with you.”
 
“You’re drunk,” Adam replied firmly, stepping even closer.
 
His words hit home, making Kris almost laugh. “Not exactly drunk, but I’m a little on tipsy side.” Kris made a goofy face at him. “And you’re no fun.”
 
Adam stood directly in front of him now and cocked his head to the side, producing a frown. “I’m a lot of fun and you know it.”
 
“Prove it,” he whispered.
 
It took Adam a moment to swallow the command Kris barked at him. He took in a deep breath and shook his head. “You need to go.”
 
It was obvious he was fighting with his emotions. “Why?” Kris asked, placing his arms around Adam’s neck. “Am I making you nervous?”
 
“Not exactly,” he said; his lips only inches from Kris’s forehead.
 
Kris was getting aggravated with his lack of arousal. He was trying to work Adam into a frenzy because Adam had unknowingly already worked him into one. There was only one thing on his mind now. Sex.
 
Adam leaned over, pressing his mouth on Kris’s ear. “I don’t want you to regret this in the morning, when you’re sober.”
 
“I’m not that far gone.” Kris looked up at him and ran a hand through Adam’s short hair.
 
“I told you you’d like it short,” he whispered, his breath now spraying against Kris’s warm forehead.
 
Kris couldn’t help but smile. When Adam met his parents for the first time, he wanted to cut his hair short but Kris wouldn’t let him, claiming that he loved his hair long. Adam tried telling him he would love it short, but he wouldn’t hear of it. “Yeah,” he whispered back, butterflies dancing in his stomach. “I guess you were right.”
 
“Kris,” Adam continued, removing Kris’s hand from his head, but holding on tightly. He leaned back, creating a distance between them. A distance Kris didn’t want. “I don’t think you can handle where you think you want this to go.”
 
Kris nodded. “Yes, I can.”
 
“What makes you so sure?” he asked, stepping back to create even more distance. “I seem to remember a certain someone telling me that they’d never had a one-night stand before.”
 
Kris’s eyes opened wider. His heart pounded faster. Adam remembered their first conversation, back in Cozumel, when he invited Kris to his room. How many guys remembered something like that? How many guys were crazy enough to let a guy like that slip away? “I wanna have a one-night stand…it might be fun.”
 
Adam smiled at him while shaking his head back and forth. “It would be fun, but…”
 
“Oh, Adam,” Kris fussed, waving him off with his hand. “Come on…I won’t tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about.”
 
“That’s the least of my worries.” Adam stepped back further and dropped to the couch, scratching his forehead. “I’m not sure if it’s even possible to have a one-night stand with your husband.” Looking at Kris rather intently, he smiled. “You do realize that we’re still married, right?”
 
Kris nodded.
 
“Then I don’t think we could call this a one-night stand.”
 
Kris rolled his head around in a circle. “Sure we can, we can call it whatever we want.” He reached down and started unbuttoning his shirt. “I want my first one-night stand to be with you.”
 
“Your first?” Adam questioned, reaching out and grabbing hold of Kris’s hand. Pulling Kris towards him, he smiled. “Does that mean that you have every intention of having more?”
 
Kris shrugged, unable to speak as he watched Adam fiddle with the hem on his shirt. Adam looked up at him briefly. “Well?”
 
“I don’t wanna talk anymore,” Kris whined, his breathing becoming more labored as the seconds ticked by. He studied Adam’s face intently, taking in every detail. Adam was struggling. Even through his glassed-over eyes Kris could tell how much Adam was struggling.
 
Kris could almost hear his mind churning inside. Should he or shouldn’t he? Could he or couldn’t he? He was almost positive that the head on his shoulders was telling him one thing, but his head a little further down was telling him another.
 
The question was…which one was gonna win?
 
“Just go for it,” Kris said quietly, watching Adam’s hands reach up and then drop down. “What’re you afraid of?” He tilted his head. “I won’t break.”
 
Adam slowly lifted his head until his eyes were focused on Kris’s. He stared at Kris for a few moments before letting out a deep breath. “I’m afraid of the set-back that’s sure to come in the morning if I take you up on your offer.”
 
Kris had to let that one register for a moment before he fully understood what Adam was referring to. “Ah, come on…one little tryst ain’t gonna…”
 
“You don’t know that,” he interrupted while reaching up and yanking Kris’s head forward by the back of his neck, stopping his sentence and practically knocking the wind right out of him. “You don’t know that,” he repeated, mumbling as his lips crashed down on Kris’s with so much force that it had actually scared him.
 
It all happened so fast that Kris was left with no choice but to fight Adam off with his hands in order to catch his breath.
 
“Change your mind?” Adam asked, looking at him quite displeased.
 
Kris’s hand flew up to his mouth, running along his assaulted lips. “Not at all,” he managed to get out between some serious gasps.
 
“No regrets in the morning, right?”
 
Kris shook his head. As far as he was concerned, he wouldn’t even be there in the morning. He’d be long gone. After all, this was a one-night stand. One-night stands didn’t last all night. They lasted until the deed was done and then they were over. Spending the night wasn’t an option because it wasn’t allowed and because this was his first one-night stand, he wanted to make sure he did it right.
 
“No regrets,” he sighed, smiling at Adam.
 
Just seeing him sitting there, staring at him with such intensity, sent Kris’s body into over-drive. He’d forgotten what type of effect Adam had on him just by the way he looked at him. It was something he quickly remembered though and something he sorely missed.
 
Kris shook his head, ridding the thoughts from his brain. This wasn’t about what he missed or what he wanted, this was strictly about sex. A one-time thing. A one-night stand and that was it. No talking, no cuddling, no remorse and no stopping. He started it and more than anything, he wanted to ride it out to the finish line.
 
He found his balance and slowly finished unbuttoning his shirt. Letting it fall to the floor, he stared deeply into Adam’s eyes. Kris could tell, just by the color alone, how aroused Adam was. He’d seen the slight change many, many times during their short-lived romance. Now, he was getting his last chance to see it again.
 
Closure.
 
“We never did get to say goodbye proper…proper…properly,” he moaned, closing his eyes and allowing himself to savor the moment.
 
“Maybe we need to set things straight, and say goodbye this one last time, so we can move on,” Adam groaned.
 
His words hit Kris right where it counted…in the heart. Hard.
 
He closed his eyes, allowing the tears to fall. It was such an emotional moment for him that there was no way he could even try to cover up what he was feeling. And what it was…was a year of pent-up emotion that he had never allowed himself to feel or even remotely deal with.
 
One long year of loneliness, heartache and desperation…all rolled into one.
 
Adam stood to his feet and ran his thumb along Kris’s cheek. “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he whispered.
 
“I know,” he mumbled, opening his eyes. “I know.”
 
“I just don’t want you to have any regrets.”
 
Kris shook his head fiercely. “I won’t…I promise.”
 
“It’s just a one-night stand, right?” He stood to his feet and directly in front of Kris. “You said that yourself…no regrets and no looking back.”
 
Before Kris even had a chance to answer, Adam swooped down and scooped him up in his arms. With eyes that bored intensely into Kris’s, not a word was said as he slowly made his way into the master bedroom. He stopped short of the bed and finally gave Kris a small, sexy smile, making his heart flutter and pulse quicken.
 
“Fuck it,” he whispered, laying Kris on the bed.
 
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