[personal profile] something_rare
Title: After All (Sequel to Can't Let You Go) - Chapter Twelve
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Note: A huge thank you to [info]bigj52. Thank you for being an amazing beta. I feel guilty for the amount of work I put you through with each story.





Chapter Twelve

Brian drove at an agonizingly slow speed through the neighborhood. After just being pulled over by a cop, he wasn’t about to take any chances.
 
While it was true that he was going ninety two in a fifty-five mph speed zone, he didn’t deserve to be pulled over. What he deserved was a man who loved him and remained faithful to him. Something he once thought Kris was, but he was not sure anymore.
 
He had a hard time believing it, but clearly, the signs were all there. In a way, he’d already suspected it; he just didn’t have proof.
 
He never thought in a million years that Kris would be stupid enough to fall into Adam’s trap again. Couldn’t he see that he was just a pawn in Adam’s game?
 
A warm hole for Adam to stick his miniscule dick into?
That was all he was.
Brian was sure of it.
 
He sped up just thinking about it. Kris’s warm hole didn’t open up for him. “Slut,” he whispered in disgust. What happened to the man he loved? The man who claimed he’d wait forever for him? The man who professed his undying love to him in front of God and over two hundred guests?
 
Brian was determined to find him again.
No matter what it took.
No matter what it cost.
 
He pulled into the driveway, screeching his tires to an abrupt halt. He noticed Kris in the driveway, making his way towards the front door before he stopped and turned to see what the noise was.
 
Brian jumped out of the car quickly and slammed the door closed. “Where’ve you been?” he shouted across the yard.
 
“Shopping.”
 
Kris’s answer came swiftly, infuriating him even more. “Then where are all your bags?”
 
Again, Kris remained calm while watching Brian walk towards him. “I couldn’t find anything I liked.”
 
Brian stopped short of walking past Kris, determined not to let another one of his lies prevail. “Couldn’t find anything you liked at Lambert’s fine clothing store, huh?” he whispered somewhat loudly.
 
“What?”
 
Brian noticed Kris’s mouth twitch despite the ever-impeding darkness. He decided right then and there to play along with Kris just to see how far he would go. “What store?”
 
“Levi’s” rattled off his tongue. “Is something wrong, Brian? I thought you had therapy tonight?”
 
“You thought wrong,” he heaved, barely being able to look at Kris. He didn’t look any differently than any other time he’d been shopping. If anything, he looked more relaxed than Brian had seen him look in a long time, which made his blood pressure rise even more. “How long has this charade of yours been going on?”
 
Kris turned on his heels and opened the front door. “Daniel! Are you home?” He pressed forward, ignoring Brian’s question altogether.
 
He stepped in behind Kris and slammed the door shut, locking it at the same time. “Why are you looking for him, Kris? You afraid of me now?”
 
“No,” he said, dropping his bag to the floor and making his way into the living room. “Should I be?”
 
This time, it was Brian’s turn to ignore Kris’s question and it felt good. He watched Kris sit down on the couch and reach for the cordless phone, moving it next to him. “Adam’s on his way back to New York, dear,” he huffed, sitting down next to him. “But then, you already knew that, didn’t you?”
 
Kris’s eyes remained locked to the floor, his hand locked on the phone. “How would I know that, Brian?”
 
Brian rolled his eyes at Kris’s rebuttal. “I don’t know, sweetheart. Why don’t you tell me?” The sound of his own voice even started him. It’d changed drastically, taking on a frightening quality.
 
“I think you should probably go.”
 
I’m not going anywhere until we’ve set a few things straight.”
 
Kris jumped up from the couch, taking the phone with him. “You’re obviously having a bad day, Brian. Maybe you should call your therapist and see if you can schedule an emergency session.”
 
What? Not his best choice of words…not at all. Those were the words that broke the camel’s back. “So, now you think I’m delusional,” he growled, jumping to his feet. “Is that it?”
 
Kris backed up from him slowly, trying not to be obvious if Brian had to guess. Only, it didn’t work. He noticed it immediately.
 
“I don’t think you’re delusional but I do think you need help.”
 
Brian’s hands flew up in the air. “What do you think I’ve been doing for the past twelve months? Picking my fucking nose?” He dropped his arms to the side before bringing one hand up and placing a finger in his nose to be defiant.
 
Kris turned away, shaking his head. “You need to go,” he whispered.
 
“What I need, young man,” Brian trailed, catching his breath. “Is for you to keep your legs closed,” he spat. “I know you’re sleeping with that asshole, Kris.”
 
Kris’s head flew back around.
 
“Yep, that’s right…I know. Don’t even try to deny it either, because it’ll just piss me off even more and I don’t think you want that to happen, trust me.” Noticing Kris’s eyes narrow, Brian lurched towards him. “It came from a pretty good source.”
 
Kris remained quiet as he just stood there; he was doing a good job of hiding any emotion that he was feeling.
 
“It’s not going to happen again, do you understand that?”
 
Kris didn’t even blink as he just stood there, refusing to admit to anything.
 
“Starting tomorrow, I will be the one who is going to drive you to and from work or any other place you think you need to go. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
 
Finally, Kris’s mouth dropped.
 
“And because I have nothing better to do, it shouldn’t be a problem.”
 
“I’m not a dog, Brian,” Kris heaved through his gaping mouth.
 
“Then stop acting like a dog in heat!”
 
His eyes flew open in horror at Brian’s remark. “How dare you…”
 
“No!” he interjected, taking a step closer to Kris. “How dare you do something so despicable to me? How dare you fuck somebody else behind my back when you won’t even fuck me?” He stopped for a moment, remembering what his therapist had recommended when he knew his anger was taking control. He took a deep breath and counted to twenty and then back to one. It was then that he knew his therapist was full of shit. Counting didn’t work. “How dare you think that I’m stupid enough not to figure this out? How dare you just waltz back in here, thinking I would even want you back after you’ve cheated on me…HOW DARE YOU?”
 
Slowly, Kris brought his arms up and folded them in front of his chest. “You need help, Brian.”
 
“Goddamn you!” He grabbed Kris by the shoulders and shook him once, hard. “For you to even stand there and tell me I need help is like the pot calling the kettle black…You need help!”
 
Brian could tell clearly by Kris’s eyes just how scared he was. He forced his lips down on Kris, pressing the palm of his hand over Kris’s cock. With this other hand, he yanked the phone away from Kris and threw it across the room. “No one can help you now,” he seethed into Kris’s ear. “Not even your precious Adam.”
 
Kris’s hands flew up, shoving Brian in the chest. For a few seconds, he struggled to find his way out of the hold Brian had him in, but quickly gave up when he knew he wasn’t going anywhere until Brian was ready to let him go.
 
“Please Brian,” he cried. “Stop…you’re hurting me.”
 
Brian’s eyes narrowed while his hand squeezed Kris hard. “Is that what you say to Adam?”
 
“Stop it!”
 
When Brian heard the front door trying to open, he jumped back and turned around to see Daniel making his way in.
 
“Hey, you two,” Daniel quipped, throwing them a wink. “I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”
 
Neither one said a word.
 
Daniel turned his back to them. “Okay…I guess I did. I’ll just leave then.”
 
“NO!” Kris barked, pushing his way past Brian. “Brian was just leaving.”
 
Brian grabbed him by the arm, forcing him around. Leaning in towards him, he shot Kris a look. “Lucky for you, I will take you back after everything you’ve done.” He cleared his throat and dropped his hold on Kris. “I’ll be back in the morning to take you to work and after work, I’ll drive you straight over to the lawyer’s office myself to make sure he resends those divorce papers to Mr. Lambert.”
 
His work was done.
He made his point clear.
Kris belonged to him.
 

 
Kris woke up in a cold sweat, entirely aware that it was only a nightmare, but entirely aware that at the same time, it hit a little too close to home.
 
His time was running out and running out quickly.
 
He didn’t have a choice but to go to work today. As it was his third day in a row he’d called in sick, he would be forced to have a doctor’s note.
 
Would he be able to get a doctor’s note for a broken heart?
Doubtful.
 
He was going to have to face the music, no matter what. He truly wasn’t afforded any other choice. Unless he called in sick again, Brian would be arriving at his door in exactly two hours to drive him to work. Two hours and he’d have to face him again. Two measly hours.
 
It really didn’t matter that he had called in sick the two days prior, Brian still parked his car in his driveway every morning, probably checking to make sure that Kris wasn’t pulling a fast one of him.
 
Kris knew better than to do that.
Brian had frightened him into submission.
 
Slowly, Kris got up from bed and walked over to the dresser mirror. He wasn’t really sick, but damn, he sure did look it. His face had never been so pale and his eyes had never been so droopy or lackluster. Even his once shiny hair had become drab and dull. It was a wonder he really wasn’t sick.
 
He eyed himself carefully; taking note of every new wrinkle that came into view. If he didn’t know better, he would’ve guessed he was a man in his forties, not thirties. He was that scary.
 
Stepping back, he dropped to the bed and sighed. Thank God Daniel still lived with him. He was almost certain that he’d saved him from being physically hurt just two short nights ago. Or worse yet, raped.
 
The Brian he had once known and loved would never have been capable of something even remotely close to rape. That night, however, he’d seen a completely different side of Brian. He wasn’t the same man he once was. And quite honestly, Kris couldn’t really place the blame on anyone but himself and the fact that he was a prisoner of war for three years of his life.
 
How could anyone recoup from something that horrible?
 
And how could anyone recoup from finding out that the person they loved had cheated on them?
 
What he did was horrible and he had no one to blame but the fact that he was incapable of controlling his sexual urges around Adam. Did they make a pill for that?
 
Kris didn’t even want to think about Adam. He needed to wipe him from his thoughts, because if he didn’t, Adam could wind up getting hurt. At this point, he couldn’t trust Brian as far as he could throw him. He couldn’t trust anyone for that matter. Even Katy couldn’t be trusted.
 
How else would Brian have found out about him and Adam? Every time he racked his brain over it, he came back to the same conclusion.
 
Katy.
 
His own best friend ratted him out, and because of it he was now going to be forced into really filing for a divorce from the man he loved the most.
 
His soul mate.
 
He stared at the ceiling, forcing the tears back. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t deserve to cry. What he did deserve was to pay for the web of lies he’d spun, starting with the divorce. He lied about filing for divorce only because he felt he didn’t have a choice. It was what Brian wanted him to do, even though it wasn’t what he wanted to do.
 
Kris didn’t file for divorce simply because Kris didn’t want a divorce. It was that simple.
 
He never wanted to give Adam up in the first place, but he was too damn scared to admit that to him then and too chicken to admit that to him now. He was too scared to admit that to anyone, let alone Adam.
 
Sadly though, he did admit it to Katy and look where it got him…in a whole lot of trouble and all because his best friend ratted him out.
 
“Hey Kris,” Daniel said from outside his bedroom door. “Are you up yet?”
 
Kris rolled his head to the side, peering towards the door. “Yeah.” He jumped up from the bed and walked over to open the door. “What’re you doing up already?”
 
He rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Didn’t you hear Brian pounding on the door?”
 
“Brian” he quipped, letting out a long sigh and looking back at the alarm clock again to see if he’d read the numbers right. 6:30 ….in the morning. Yep, he’d read them right. “He’s here already?”
 
“Unfortunately and he woke up my ass,” he mumbled. “I told him to wait in the car.”
 
Kris moaned while making his way back to his comfy bed. Lying back down, he covered his face with his hands.
 
“What’s going on with you two anyway? Why don’t you want him in the house?”
 
“I just don’t,” he sighed.
 
“Well, he’s getting pretty pissy about it, I can tell.” Daniel’s voice trailed as he turned his back. “For the past two nights, I’ve lied every time he’s called or come to visit and I can tell that he’s pissed and doesn’t believe me.”
 
“Sorry,” he mumbled through his hands before looking at Daniel.
 
Daniel shrugged his shoulders. “You know how he is,” he joked, rolling his eyes. “He still thinks that he should be living in this house and not me.”
 
The comment made Kris’s heart pound. He was sick of hearing Brian say it and to think that he was now bringing his own family into the mix made him sicker. He needed to butt out. “Do you think he’s right?"
 
Daniel simply shrugged.
 
“Well, he’s not,” he heaved through a clenched jaw. “This is not his house anymore and don’t let him make you feel like you don’t belong here. You’re here because I want you here and that’s all that matters.”
 
“I’ll try,” he said softly, shutting the door.
 
“I’m sorry, Daniel…I don’t mean to get you involved, it’s just that I’ve needed my space for the past couple days and you know how he is. It’s like he’s constantly breathing down my neck and it’s finally starting to get to me.” In more ways, than he’d like to admit too.
 
“How much longer you going to need this so-called space, bro?”
 
Kris lifted his head slightly as the door to his room closed. “Forever,” he whispered. “Is that too much to ask?”
 
Kris dropped his head again, the feeling of a ravaging headache coming on full-force. He rolled over and grabbed the phone off the nightstand. Slowly, he punched in the numbers to Adam’s cell phone, not even having to see where his fingers landed. Adam’s number would forever be etched into his memory, even if and when he changed it.
 
He knew full well that Adam wouldn’t answer it. He would be fast asleep…probably with someone tucked snugly into the crook of his arm, just like the way he used to sleep. Someone was taking his place.
 
Once Adam’s voicemail beeped, Kris cleared his throat and took a deep breath, working up the courage to say what he needed to say. He had to do this; he was left with no choice.
 
“Adam…hi…um, it’s me…listen I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be filing for divorce today. I don’t have a choice…” he trailed, wiping away the one single tear that found its way down his cheek. “I’m sorry…I really am, but I guess the time has finally come.”
 
Without wanting to go into details, he simply whispered goodbye and hung up. That was the first step he’d actually taken in letting Adam go since he walked out of his life over a year earlier. The first step and sadly, it wouldn’t be his last.
 

 
The ride to the school was completely quiet. Kris barely even acknowledged the fact that Brian was in the car. He simply got in, slammed the door and kept his head looking directly out of the passenger side window. He wasn’t about to even greet him. He was mad and he had good reason.
 
Even when Brian drove him up to the main door of the school, he refused to thank him. He didn’t want a chauffeur. He didn’t need a chauffeur. And he sure as hell didn’t need Brian watching his every move. It infuriated him no end.
 
“What time is your appointment at the lawyer’s?”
 
Kris got out of the car and ignored his question.
 
“Hey,” he said louder. “I’m talking to you.”
 
Kris stopped before slamming the door and slumped his shoulders to show his frustration. Turning around abruptly, he crouched down and peered at Brian. “I get off work at five tonight, so just make sure you’re here to pick me up or call me if for some reason you come to your senses.” Proud of his comeback, he stood tall and stepped back, slamming the door as hard as he could.
 
Brian squealed the tires as he drove off, rounding the corner practically on two wheels.
 
“Idiot,” Kris mumbled, shaking his head.
 
Throughout the day, Brian texted him numerous times and each time Kris was actually forced into answering, he barely said a word and made excuses that he was needed at work. Brian was playing mind games. Kris knew it, Brian knew it and Kris was going to be damned if Brian got away with it.
 
He wasn’t weak. He wasn’t going to let Brian do this to him. Brian had already done enough. He needed to find his backbone and use it. Something he should’ve done a long time ago, but didn’t.
 
Kris had heard Brian tell him numerous times that he couldn’t go on without him. It was almost a daily occurrence and had been since setting foot back into his life, but Kris had to start thinking about himself. He wasn’t happy with things the way they were. He hadn’t been happy since Adam walked out of his life and it was time that he put an end to the charade. With or without Adam, he would find a way to go on. He already had in a sense, but with or without Adam, he needed to let Brian worry about his own happiness and start letting himself search for his own.
 
He deserved to be happy and being with Brian wasn’t the answer.
 
He knew it all along.
Now it was time to let him know it.
Now it was time for Brian to move on and find someone that truly loved him.
 
Brian may have been the first love of his life, but he wasn’t the most important love of his life. Adam took on that role the day he first set eyes on him. Adam was the one that made him forget about his past and he was the one that made him feel whole again, when no one or nothing had ever come close to doing.
 
Adam was his knight in shining armor. He always had been and he always would be.
 
Kris grabbed the phone and sighed while punching in the numbers he had known so well. Briefly, he thought about how happy Brian had made him when he was so young and deeply in love with him. It brought tears to his eyes knowing that it was finally going to be over and he was finally going to be free.
 
At one time, Brian had been a wonderful young man and desperate to keep those memories alive, Kris needed to let him go. He wasn’t the same person he was all those years ago and Kris didn’t blame him. He couldn’t. No person should have to live through what he went through…no one. What happened to Brian was inconceivable to even Kris and he’d heard every last detail of Brian’s ordeal. There was no way anyone could live through what Brian lived through and come out being the same person as they went in, but at the same time, Kris couldn’t make excuses for him any longer. It wasn’t fair to him.
 
And pretending that Kris wanted to be with him wasn’t fair to Brian.
 
When he heard his mother answer the phone, he took a deep breath. The charade was finally going to be over. “Mom, are you still going to be able to make it to LA in time to meet me at that lawyer’s office this afternoon?”
 

 
William swung around in the computer chair and smiled, shrugging his shoulders like a child. “How’d you want me to react, Adam?”
 
Adam grunted loudly before dropping to the bed. “I don’t know, but clapping your fucking hands wasn’t exactly what I was expecting,” he groaned, rubbing his head.
 
“Ah, come on,” he chided, standing up and jumping on top on him. He straddled his legs and frowned. “Cheer up…you knew this was coming anyway.” Taking his hands, he slid them up Adam’s shirt and leaned closer to him. “Could I help by taking your mind off it?”
 
Adam shook his head, frowning back. “You could help by getting off me,” he said harshly. “I’m not in the mood right now.”
 
“What the hell is your problem anyway?” William threw back, removing his hands from under Adam’s shirt but keeping himself firmly planted in his original position. “You said yourself that you knew that he would file one day…” he trailed, shrugging his shoulders again. “So, he filed…get over it.”
 
Adam’s mind was still reeling from the message he’d heard on his voicemail. William’s carefree attitude wasn’t helping matters. If anything, it was making it worse. While it was true that he knew this day was coming, he hadn’t expected it to be so soon.
 
“Lighten up,” William whispered while grinning. “It’s not the end of the world.”
 
“For who?” Adam questioned, peering into his eyes relentlessly. “You or me?”
 
William rolled his eyes and hopped up and off him quickly. “You wouldn’t be reacting this way if you hadn’t fucked him that last time,” he huffed, throwing himself back down into the computer chair. “That probably wasn’t the smartest decision.”
 
Adam rolled to his side, ignoring the urge to retaliate. Sad part was, William was probably right. It probably wasn’t the smartest decision he’d ever made, but it was something he didn’t regret. The only one regretting it was probably Kris. Maybe he’d pushed him too hard. Maybe the guilt was starting to get to Kris.
 
“Are you going to sulk there all day?”
 
Adam rolled over slowly and sat up, glaring at William from across the room. “Better?” he asked, throwing him a sharp look. Standing to his feet, he shook his head. “You can show yourself out, right?”
 
“Why?” William threw back quickly. “Where are you going?”
 
A good question, no doubt about it, but a question he wasn’t about to answer. “I need to take care of something I should’ve done a long time ago.”


 

Date: 2011-12-05 10:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pinkeurogirl.livejournal.com
Brian is an asshole! Adam needs to go kick his ass and get kris back

Date: 2011-12-05 10:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fara1903.livejournal.com
Kris should have stood up to Brian a long time ago! Hope he finally does!

Date: 2011-12-05 11:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tommyglitter.livejournal.com
Brian has taken this to a whole new level! I'm worried for Kris. I hope he's talking to the lawyer to find a way to get away from Brian.

Poor Adam. Love of his life says he's filing for divorce, and instead of someone who cares for his pain, he has William. What a jerk.

Please don't leave us hanging here, bb! Update again soon!

Date: 2011-12-05 12:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ally4.livejournal.com
I'm crying now! It all seems so hopeless! Can Kris' mom help?? What's Adam going to do?? Update soon, please!!!

Date: 2011-12-05 01:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robin1961.livejournal.com
see a maybe light !!! all things crossed !! in my brain Adam is on his way to LA right now on a magic plane that will have him at the lawyers office when kris arrives !!!

Date: 2011-12-05 02:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] concordiagirl03.livejournal.com
Kris' situation with Brian is becoming scarier by the minute! I am proud of Kris for finally starting to stand up for himself with Brian--and admitting to himself that he's tired of it all and the lies that got him into this mess. But if that's so, why'd he leave that voicemail for Adam telling him he's finally filing for divorce? I think I see a breakthrough with how Kris worded the message to Adam.... It may be all part of Kris' plan for a way out; to ask his mom to meet him at the lawyer's office, thinking Adam will read between the lines and fly back to L.A. and they'll help him file a restraining order against Brian!
What an evil cliffie you left us! I hope the next update of ch. 13 comes soon cause I can't wait to find out what they're all up to!

Date: 2011-12-05 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kterp.livejournal.com
Thanks for another good chapter. The suspense is building. Can't wait to see how you have all this play out.

Date: 2011-12-05 03:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] adamgrrrl.livejournal.com
{{{“I need to take care of something I should’ve done a long time ago.”}}}
duh duh DUNNNNNNNNNNNN
what the he'll is wrong w kris?? why is he just bound n determined to not say no to anyone?!? don't want brian to drive you to work? say no! don't want brian to sit in your drive at 630 in the am? sayyyyy NO!! if he doesn't listen call the damn cops!!
far as i'm concerned, kris is to blame for EVERYBODY'S misery, simply because he's an indecisive bufoon. if i weren't desperately seeking a happy ending, i'd say adam n brian BOTH need to kick his sorry ass to the curb!!
please do SOMETHING, something! put US out of THEIR misery!!

Date: 2011-12-05 05:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buckeyeadamfan.livejournal.com
OMG! I hope Adam is going back to LA. I think Kris is in danger...especially if he dumps Brian. You're right Adamgrrrl..this is all Kris' fault. He really is a bafoon..

Date: 2011-12-05 06:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astiga0802.livejournal.com
Kris needs to tell adam brian is threatening him and that he loves adam so adam can kick brian in the balls!!!

Date: 2011-12-05 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dayflower1.livejournal.com
Kris is right, he needs to get a backbone now!!! Letting Brian drive him to & from work like a little kid. Talk about controlling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kris is calling his mother in ..hmmmm reinforcements, but for what?? Hopefully for a restraining order against Brian & not for filing for divorce. Adam is hopefully hopping a flight to Kris.
They both need to come clean to each other sooooo badly. OMG, this is so much action today, this story is my favorite & is more exciting than usually!!! Please, need chapter soon????

Date: 2011-12-05 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kira-dark-wing.livejournal.com
why do you insist on hurting my heart so?

Date: 2011-12-06 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] abf_orrel.livejournal.com
I loved this chapter let me tel you but I am counting down till I can read thenext chapter you have me hooked slash obnsessed:)

Date: 2011-12-06 02:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fran2011.livejournal.com
THis was an excellent chapter as always!!
Im glad that Kris is realizing with Adam or without Adam, he still needs to leave Brian. Brian needs alot of help,I Hope he gets it, his behavior towards Kris is awful. I feel bad for Kris and Adam and hope things get better.

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