Can't Let You Go - Chapter Eleven
Jun. 22nd, 2011 02:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
something_rareTitle: Can't Let You Go - Chapter Eleven
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Beta: bigj52 . Thanks for your patience and continuous support.
Summary: Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.
Chapter Eleven
Kris was pacing the floors of his home at a rapid pace. Adam still wasn’t there and he wasn’t answering his cell phone either. When they finally reached LA the evening before, Adam merely walked into the home and grabbed his things.
He wanted to head back to his house in order to check on things because he hadn’t been there in a while. That’s what he told Kris - whether it was a lie or not was unknown to Kris. What he did know was that Adam didn’t even ask Kris to go with him. And that hurt.
Grabbing another cup of coffee, he walked over to the picture window in his living room and stared at the street for a good twenty minutes before giving up and shutting the curtains.
Adam wasn’t coming back.
And Kris had no one to blame but himself.
He’d scared Adam away.
All it was all because of Brian.
Kris slowly walked over to the back door. Glancing down at the boxes, he kicked them with his feet. “Damn you, Brian…why can’t I just let you go?” he mumbled into the stillness of the room. “Why can’t I just let you go?”
Placing his coffee mug down on the floor, he grabbed the top box and ripped it open, his eyes settling on the first thing he saw.
Their wedding photo.
Grabbing it, Kris brought it close to his face. “I need to let you go,” he said loudly. Kris placed the photo back inside and slammed the lid of the box shut. Deciding right then and there that he needed to get the boxes out of his home, he made himself a mental note to call the church and ask them whether they needed Brian’s stuff. He just needed those boxes out…away from him and away from Adam.
He picked up his cup of coffee and headed to the couch. He plopped down and grabbed the remote next to him. Quickly, he began channel surfing…looking for something to get his mind off his worries.
Channel by channel, he surfed. And channel by channel, he worried. Why wasn’t Adam returning his calls?
When he quickly passed over E!, Kris could have sworn it was a picture of Adam that was plastered across the screen. Within a second, he switched back to E! and gasped when he realized it definitely was a picture of Adam.
A picture of Adam and his ex.
“Sources close to Adam Lambert’s ex-boyfriend claim that they cannot either confirm or deny the rumor of Adam’s upcoming wedding because it was the first that they had heard of it. However, when Adam Lambert’s camp was contacted by E!, they declined to comment. Stay tuned for more news on ten to the hour, every hour, here on E!”
Kris’s eyes widened as his heart sank. He’d never seen a picture of Adam’s ex-boyfriend nor had he a clue as to what he looked liked. Kris never asked and Adam never offered.
“He’s gorgeous,” Kris mumbled, trying his hardest not to cry.
But it was useless. Absolutely useless.
Without warning, the tears started falling one after another as the reality of what he’d just heard sank in. Adam declined to comment.
Declined to comment?
He felt like he had been sucker punched in the stomach. No, make that the heart. He glanced down at his ring finger and started to cry even harder.
They weren’t getting married after all.
Maybe it was too soon for Adam.
Maybe their relationship was going too fast for him.
And here Kris thought that he was the problem. Gasping for air, he grabbed his phone and dialed Katy’s phone number. He couldn’t think straight; he couldn’t breathe.
When his friend finally picked up the phone on the fifth ring, Kris started sobbing. “Oh my G-God, K-Katy…he’s g-gone.”
“Who’s gone?”
“B-Brian,” he choked out. “He’s g-gone.”
“Calm down, Kristopher. I can barely understand you.”
The request went unheard as Kris continued to sob.
“Kristopher…Brian’s been gone for three years.”
“Not B-Brian,” Kris spit out at his friend. “Adam…A-Adam’s gone.”
Katy took a deep breath. “You said ‘Brian’.”
“No I d-didn’t…I said ‘A-Adam’.”
“You said ‘Brian’ at first,” Katy replied matter of factly.
Kris gasped again for air. He couldn’t catch his breath fast enough. “I d-did?”
“Yes, you did,” Katy replied calmly. “Take a deep breath and calm down. What do you mean Adam’s gone?”
“I d-don’t know…but we h-had an argument l-last night about me not wanting to s-sell this house and he was s-supposed to be here already and he s-spent the night at his own h-house and he thinks that m-maybe everything’s been m-moving too fast for me and h-he told m-me that I’m c-com-comparing him to B-Brian and that I don’t h-have room in my heart f-for him and that fighting isn’t a b-bad th-thing.”
Katy waited for a few seconds to make sure Kris was finished.
“Katy…d-did you hear me?”
“Wow…I heard you.”
Kris buried his head under a couch pillow. “I just p-poured my h-heart out to you and all you c-can say is ‘wow’?”
Katy paused another minute before answering. “He’s right, you know.”
“What?”
“Maybe this is moving too fast for you and maybe you are comparing him to Brian and maybe you don’t have room in your heart for anyone else right now and maybe you do need to sell the house and he’s right about fighting too…it isn’t a bad thing…not fighting is a bad thing.”
Kris wanted to scream. How could his friend even say those things to him?
“For Christ’s sake, Kristopher,” Katy huffed into the phone. “You called him ‘Brian’ less than two minutes ago and didn’t even realize it.”
“Shit,” Kris mumbled into the pillow.
“Do you actually think Adam would bail on this wedding and not even tell you? Come on…I don’t think he’d do something like that.” Blowing out a breath, she continued, “Maybe he’s stuck in traffic.”
“He won’t answer his cell phone. Katy…it’s over…Oh my G-god, what have I done?”
“You scared him off.”
Oh God…I did, didn’t I?
“And if you haven’t scared him off yet, you’re going to.”
Oh God…I am, aren’t I?
“I’ll be right over.” Katy took a deep breath and sighed. “And be prepared, Kristopher…I’m taking all those damn boxes of Brian’s things with me. You need to get them out of your house and out of your life.”
Kris hung up the phone and threw it at the wall. Katy was right - he needed to get Brian’s items out of his house and out of his life.
If it wasn’t already too late.
________________________________________
Adam fidgeted in his seat. Due to a serious accident about a mile up the road, he was in a traffic jam and wasn’t moving. Hell, he hadn’t moved in over two hours now. Hearing his cell phone ring, he grabbed it. “What?”
“Adam…It’s Lane.”
Adam let out a frustrated breath. “How are you, Lane?” he asked, breathing heavily into the phone and slamming his fist on the dashboard. “Come on, people, let’s go!”
Lane laughed. “Stuck in traffic I take it.”
“Story of my life, Lane.”
“Hey, speaking of your life…is there something you forgot to tell me?”
Adam frowned at the man in the car next to him. The guy was picking his nose and then had the audacity to actually stare at his finger before slowly putting it in his mouth. “God…” he said drily, shaking his head in disgust. Returning his attention to Lane, he ran a hand through his hair. “Forgot to tell you what?”
“About your wedding?”
Adam blew out a long breath. “Damn…news travels fast.”
“So it’s true then?”
“Yeah, it’s true,” he replied with a low growl. “How’d you find out?”
“TV.”
“Shit,” he mumbled. “So they’ve already gone public with it then?”
“Yes and no,” Lane said casually. “Why didn’t you let me know?”
“Haven’t had a chance to. It all happened so fast,” Adam answered truthfully. “I was gonna let you know tomorrow.”
“Where are you now?”
“LA. Just got back from Conway,” he replied with a grunt. “Stuck in a Goddamn traffic jam.”
Lane laughed. “What in hell were you doing there?”
“Flew down here to get acquainted with the in-laws.”
“So…this boy anyone I know?”
“No,” Adam replied quickly.
“Okay, Ad,” Lane said evenly. “I’m not gonna ask how this all came about so suddenly. I trust you …but I need to know what you want me to say the next time some reporter calls about it.”
“What’d you say the first time around?”
“I declined to comment of course.”
Adam smiled. Lane was one of the best choices he’d made in his whole career. “You’re good, Lane.”
“Yeah…well…you wanna call the ex and tell him that?”
“No thanks,” Adam added quickly, laughing. “Got one of those myself.”
“Speaking of your ex…E! went to him too.”
“Shit,” Adam replied under his breath. “I’d like to know how E! even got wind of this anyway. Not too many people even know yet.”
“You don’t think one of your friends…” Lane added.
Adam interrupted him. His hand flew out and pounded the dashboard again. “I’ll fuckin’ kill them myself.”
“Ah come on, now…you don’t mean that.”
“Like hell I don’t.” Adam finally inched forward a few feet and was then forced to slam on the brakes. “Son of a bitch,” he moaned.
“Why don’t you just call me back when things calm down there.”
“No…no…sorry Lane. I’m just frustrated with this traffic.”
“You sure that’s all?”
Adam shook his head, but wasn’t about to admit that to anyone. He was having a hard time even admitting it to himself. Last night, he had finally come to the realization that maybe things were moving too fast for Kris after all.
For him…things weren’t moving fast enough. If he had his way, they’d just up and get married right then and there, that’s how sure he was about it. But, he wasn’t totally convinced that Kris was just as sure.
He thought Kris was sure when they were in Cozumel. He thought Kris was more than ready. And when he gave Kris the engagement ring and he opened up about how he felt about him then, he thought Kris was sure. He sounded sure.
But now, he wasn’t so sure if Kris was sure. And now he wasn’t so sure he wanted to try and convince himself that Kris was sure.
There were too many unanswered questions.
Was Kris ever going to be able to accept the fact that Brian was gone? Was there going to be room in Kris’s heart for him? Despite the fact that he wanted nothing more than to marry Kris, he wasn’t going to marry someone who couldn’t let go of his past.
It was out of the question.
Returning his attention to Lane, Adam dropped his head back. “So…what’d the ex have to say?”
“Apparently he said he could neither confirm nor deny it since it was the first he’d heard of it.”
“Oh…” Adam trailed, resisting the urge to scream. “Then he is capable of telling the truth when it suits his needs.”
Lane laughed and then grew serious. “So…when’s the big day?”
“Next month.”
“Shit.”
“Well, Lane…why wait? When you know that you’ve truly found your soul mate…why wait, right?”
“What’s the rush?”
“We love each other,” Adam replied earnestly.
“Just love, huh?”
“Just love, Lane. I know this is gonna sound weird...but I knew the minute I saw him that he was it.”
“Just like that?” Lane questioned.
Adam smiled, remembering back. “Just like that.”
“Okay, Adam,” Lane replied. “What’d you want me to tell the reporters? It was love at first sight?”
Adam closed his eyes and sighed. “Decline to comment.”
“What?” Lane asked, raising her voice. “Are you serious?”
Unfortunately, he was dead serious. “At this point, Lane…just decline to comment.”
________________________________________
“Calm down. Sitting here feeling sorry for yourself isn’t really what I would consider a good next move.” Katy said after walking in from loading the last of Brian’s things into her minivan. She glanced over at her friend, pointing a finger in his direction.
Kris sighed as he slowly lifted his head up. “Katy, it’s too late for a move…he’s gone.”
“He’s not gone, Kristopher, he’s just nervous about the wedding.”
“Oh…is that all?” Kris spat back, throwing his hands up in the air. “Don’t you get it, Katy? He’s gone…G-O-N-E.”
Katy walked over to the couch, reached down, grabbed her friend by the shoulders and shook him once. “Calm down, okay? You’re freaking out here and if you don’t stop it soon, you’re gonna start to hyperventilate…just calm the hell down.”
“How do you expect me to calm down, Katy?” Kris jumped up from the couch and walked into the kitchen with his friend following closely behind. “I can’t calm down, okay? I don’t want to calm down! I just lost the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me!”
Katy stepped back. “Did you just hear what you said?”
“Yes, I heard it,” Kris huffed. “And I’m sorry, Brian,” he said, looking towards the sky and then back down to his friend. “But I thought I could never love someone as much as I loved Brian…but I was wrong.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I was so wrong…because what I feel for Adam is stronger than anything I ever felt for Brian…ever. I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on that man that this was going to happen.”
“What was going to happen?”
Kris sighed, dropping his hands. “That’d I fall head over heels in love with him…I just never thought that it’d be to this extreme, though. And what did I do? I blew it! That’s what I did…I scared him off because I couldn’t stop thinking about Brian and how I’d be betraying him by letting him go.”
“Kristopher,” Katy replied softly. “You’re not betraying him, honey…he’s gone. It’d be different if you were married and fell in love with Adam…but you’re not married anymore.”
“And I probably won’t be in a month, either!” Kris said, dropping his head to the kitchen counter. “Adam doesn’t think that I have room in my heart for him and for our memories but it’s not that at all…I was only scared because in my heart,” he said, grabbing his chest. “In my heart I know that Brian and my memories with him are fading…and God help me…I don’t want to forget him…but God help me…I love Adam more than anyone I’ve ever loved in my entire life.” Taking a deep breath, he kept his face buried on the counter. “He thinks I don’t have room for him but the truth is…he’s got most of the room already in there.” Removing his hand from his chest, he swept his arm in the air. “Brian’s room is dwindling…and this house is really the only thing left.”
Katy placed her hand over Kris’s heart and whispered, “You need to tell Adam that, honey…he’ll understand then why you’re feeling the way you are.”
“It’s too late, Katy!” Kris’s head slowly lifted up. “It’s too damn late…”
“It’s not too late, Kris,” Adam said, taking a step into the kitchen and looking directly at him. “It’s never too late.”
Katy jumped, turning around. “How long have you been here?”
Adam’s eyes never moved from Kris’s face. Smiling, he took a few steps towards him and stopped. “I heard the whole thing.”
“You did?” Kris asked, closing his eyes.
“Why didn’t you just tell me, honey?” Adam asked, taking another step towards Kris and reaching out for his hand. “You should’ve just told me how you felt…I would’ve understood.”
Katy cleared her throat and turned to leave. “I’m gonna just go now…I’ll call you later, Kristopher.”
Neither one even acknowledged what they’d just heard. Their eyes were glued to each other.
“Kris…I love you more than life,” Adam said quietly, pulling him into a hug. “Don’t forget that. And if you want to hang on to this house, then we’ll hang on to this house until you’re ready to do otherwise.”
“I love you, Adam,” Kris replied, burying his head into Adam’s chest. “God…I love you so much…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I was feeling, I’ll never keep it bottled up again.”
“Promise?” Adam asked, pulling Kris slightly back so that he could look in his eyes.
“Yes,” he whispered.
“And I promise you that I’ll scoot over and make room for your memories with Brian,” Adam said with such complete honesty that it even scared him. “I don’t want you to forget him, I’d never ask you to do that…just don’t compare us, okay?”
“I won’t,” Kris said, looking into Adam’s eyes. “I promise…besides, there really is nothing to compare. I’ve never been happier in my entire life than I have been over the last few weeks.”
“Me either, sweetheart,” Adam said, pulling Kris in close and kissing his head. “Me either.”
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Beta: bigj52 . Thanks for your patience and continuous support.
Summary: Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.
Chapter Eleven
Kris was pacing the floors of his home at a rapid pace. Adam still wasn’t there and he wasn’t answering his cell phone either. When they finally reached LA the evening before, Adam merely walked into the home and grabbed his things.
He wanted to head back to his house in order to check on things because he hadn’t been there in a while. That’s what he told Kris - whether it was a lie or not was unknown to Kris. What he did know was that Adam didn’t even ask Kris to go with him. And that hurt.
Grabbing another cup of coffee, he walked over to the picture window in his living room and stared at the street for a good twenty minutes before giving up and shutting the curtains.
Adam wasn’t coming back.
And Kris had no one to blame but himself.
He’d scared Adam away.
All it was all because of Brian.
Kris slowly walked over to the back door. Glancing down at the boxes, he kicked them with his feet. “Damn you, Brian…why can’t I just let you go?” he mumbled into the stillness of the room. “Why can’t I just let you go?”
Placing his coffee mug down on the floor, he grabbed the top box and ripped it open, his eyes settling on the first thing he saw.
Their wedding photo.
Grabbing it, Kris brought it close to his face. “I need to let you go,” he said loudly. Kris placed the photo back inside and slammed the lid of the box shut. Deciding right then and there that he needed to get the boxes out of his home, he made himself a mental note to call the church and ask them whether they needed Brian’s stuff. He just needed those boxes out…away from him and away from Adam.
He picked up his cup of coffee and headed to the couch. He plopped down and grabbed the remote next to him. Quickly, he began channel surfing…looking for something to get his mind off his worries.
Channel by channel, he surfed. And channel by channel, he worried. Why wasn’t Adam returning his calls?
When he quickly passed over E!, Kris could have sworn it was a picture of Adam that was plastered across the screen. Within a second, he switched back to E! and gasped when he realized it definitely was a picture of Adam.
A picture of Adam and his ex.
“Sources close to Adam Lambert’s ex-boyfriend claim that they cannot either confirm or deny the rumor of Adam’s upcoming wedding because it was the first that they had heard of it. However, when Adam Lambert’s camp was contacted by E!, they declined to comment. Stay tuned for more news on ten to the hour, every hour, here on E!”
Kris’s eyes widened as his heart sank. He’d never seen a picture of Adam’s ex-boyfriend nor had he a clue as to what he looked liked. Kris never asked and Adam never offered.
“He’s gorgeous,” Kris mumbled, trying his hardest not to cry.
But it was useless. Absolutely useless.
Without warning, the tears started falling one after another as the reality of what he’d just heard sank in. Adam declined to comment.
Declined to comment?
He felt like he had been sucker punched in the stomach. No, make that the heart. He glanced down at his ring finger and started to cry even harder.
They weren’t getting married after all.
Maybe it was too soon for Adam.
Maybe their relationship was going too fast for him.
And here Kris thought that he was the problem. Gasping for air, he grabbed his phone and dialed Katy’s phone number. He couldn’t think straight; he couldn’t breathe.
When his friend finally picked up the phone on the fifth ring, Kris started sobbing. “Oh my G-God, K-Katy…he’s g-gone.”
“Who’s gone?”
“B-Brian,” he choked out. “He’s g-gone.”
“Calm down, Kristopher. I can barely understand you.”
The request went unheard as Kris continued to sob.
“Kristopher…Brian’s been gone for three years.”
“Not B-Brian,” Kris spit out at his friend. “Adam…A-Adam’s gone.”
Katy took a deep breath. “You said ‘Brian’.”
“No I d-didn’t…I said ‘A-Adam’.”
“You said ‘Brian’ at first,” Katy replied matter of factly.
Kris gasped again for air. He couldn’t catch his breath fast enough. “I d-did?”
“Yes, you did,” Katy replied calmly. “Take a deep breath and calm down. What do you mean Adam’s gone?”
“I d-don’t know…but we h-had an argument l-last night about me not wanting to s-sell this house and he was s-supposed to be here already and he s-spent the night at his own h-house and he thinks that m-maybe everything’s been m-moving too fast for me and h-he told m-me that I’m c-com-comparing him to B-Brian and that I don’t h-have room in my heart f-for him and that fighting isn’t a b-bad th-thing.”
Katy waited for a few seconds to make sure Kris was finished.
“Katy…d-did you hear me?”
“Wow…I heard you.”
Kris buried his head under a couch pillow. “I just p-poured my h-heart out to you and all you c-can say is ‘wow’?”
Katy paused another minute before answering. “He’s right, you know.”
“What?”
“Maybe this is moving too fast for you and maybe you are comparing him to Brian and maybe you don’t have room in your heart for anyone else right now and maybe you do need to sell the house and he’s right about fighting too…it isn’t a bad thing…not fighting is a bad thing.”
Kris wanted to scream. How could his friend even say those things to him?
“For Christ’s sake, Kristopher,” Katy huffed into the phone. “You called him ‘Brian’ less than two minutes ago and didn’t even realize it.”
“Shit,” Kris mumbled into the pillow.
“Do you actually think Adam would bail on this wedding and not even tell you? Come on…I don’t think he’d do something like that.” Blowing out a breath, she continued, “Maybe he’s stuck in traffic.”
“He won’t answer his cell phone. Katy…it’s over…Oh my G-god, what have I done?”
“You scared him off.”
Oh God…I did, didn’t I?
“And if you haven’t scared him off yet, you’re going to.”
Oh God…I am, aren’t I?
“I’ll be right over.” Katy took a deep breath and sighed. “And be prepared, Kristopher…I’m taking all those damn boxes of Brian’s things with me. You need to get them out of your house and out of your life.”
Kris hung up the phone and threw it at the wall. Katy was right - he needed to get Brian’s items out of his house and out of his life.
If it wasn’t already too late.
________________________________________
Adam fidgeted in his seat. Due to a serious accident about a mile up the road, he was in a traffic jam and wasn’t moving. Hell, he hadn’t moved in over two hours now. Hearing his cell phone ring, he grabbed it. “What?”
“Adam…It’s Lane.”
Adam let out a frustrated breath. “How are you, Lane?” he asked, breathing heavily into the phone and slamming his fist on the dashboard. “Come on, people, let’s go!”
Lane laughed. “Stuck in traffic I take it.”
“Story of my life, Lane.”
“Hey, speaking of your life…is there something you forgot to tell me?”
Adam frowned at the man in the car next to him. The guy was picking his nose and then had the audacity to actually stare at his finger before slowly putting it in his mouth. “God…” he said drily, shaking his head in disgust. Returning his attention to Lane, he ran a hand through his hair. “Forgot to tell you what?”
“About your wedding?”
Adam blew out a long breath. “Damn…news travels fast.”
“So it’s true then?”
“Yeah, it’s true,” he replied with a low growl. “How’d you find out?”
“TV.”
“Shit,” he mumbled. “So they’ve already gone public with it then?”
“Yes and no,” Lane said casually. “Why didn’t you let me know?”
“Haven’t had a chance to. It all happened so fast,” Adam answered truthfully. “I was gonna let you know tomorrow.”
“Where are you now?”
“LA. Just got back from Conway,” he replied with a grunt. “Stuck in a Goddamn traffic jam.”
Lane laughed. “What in hell were you doing there?”
“Flew down here to get acquainted with the in-laws.”
“So…this boy anyone I know?”
“No,” Adam replied quickly.
“Okay, Ad,” Lane said evenly. “I’m not gonna ask how this all came about so suddenly. I trust you …but I need to know what you want me to say the next time some reporter calls about it.”
“What’d you say the first time around?”
“I declined to comment of course.”
Adam smiled. Lane was one of the best choices he’d made in his whole career. “You’re good, Lane.”
“Yeah…well…you wanna call the ex and tell him that?”
“No thanks,” Adam added quickly, laughing. “Got one of those myself.”
“Speaking of your ex…E! went to him too.”
“Shit,” Adam replied under his breath. “I’d like to know how E! even got wind of this anyway. Not too many people even know yet.”
“You don’t think one of your friends…” Lane added.
Adam interrupted him. His hand flew out and pounded the dashboard again. “I’ll fuckin’ kill them myself.”
“Ah come on, now…you don’t mean that.”
“Like hell I don’t.” Adam finally inched forward a few feet and was then forced to slam on the brakes. “Son of a bitch,” he moaned.
“Why don’t you just call me back when things calm down there.”
“No…no…sorry Lane. I’m just frustrated with this traffic.”
“You sure that’s all?”
Adam shook his head, but wasn’t about to admit that to anyone. He was having a hard time even admitting it to himself. Last night, he had finally come to the realization that maybe things were moving too fast for Kris after all.
For him…things weren’t moving fast enough. If he had his way, they’d just up and get married right then and there, that’s how sure he was about it. But, he wasn’t totally convinced that Kris was just as sure.
He thought Kris was sure when they were in Cozumel. He thought Kris was more than ready. And when he gave Kris the engagement ring and he opened up about how he felt about him then, he thought Kris was sure. He sounded sure.
But now, he wasn’t so sure if Kris was sure. And now he wasn’t so sure he wanted to try and convince himself that Kris was sure.
There were too many unanswered questions.
Was Kris ever going to be able to accept the fact that Brian was gone? Was there going to be room in Kris’s heart for him? Despite the fact that he wanted nothing more than to marry Kris, he wasn’t going to marry someone who couldn’t let go of his past.
It was out of the question.
Returning his attention to Lane, Adam dropped his head back. “So…what’d the ex have to say?”
“Apparently he said he could neither confirm nor deny it since it was the first he’d heard of it.”
“Oh…” Adam trailed, resisting the urge to scream. “Then he is capable of telling the truth when it suits his needs.”
Lane laughed and then grew serious. “So…when’s the big day?”
“Next month.”
“Shit.”
“Well, Lane…why wait? When you know that you’ve truly found your soul mate…why wait, right?”
“What’s the rush?”
“We love each other,” Adam replied earnestly.
“Just love, huh?”
“Just love, Lane. I know this is gonna sound weird...but I knew the minute I saw him that he was it.”
“Just like that?” Lane questioned.
Adam smiled, remembering back. “Just like that.”
“Okay, Adam,” Lane replied. “What’d you want me to tell the reporters? It was love at first sight?”
Adam closed his eyes and sighed. “Decline to comment.”
“What?” Lane asked, raising her voice. “Are you serious?”
Unfortunately, he was dead serious. “At this point, Lane…just decline to comment.”
________________________________________
“Calm down. Sitting here feeling sorry for yourself isn’t really what I would consider a good next move.” Katy said after walking in from loading the last of Brian’s things into her minivan. She glanced over at her friend, pointing a finger in his direction.
Kris sighed as he slowly lifted his head up. “Katy, it’s too late for a move…he’s gone.”
“He’s not gone, Kristopher, he’s just nervous about the wedding.”
“Oh…is that all?” Kris spat back, throwing his hands up in the air. “Don’t you get it, Katy? He’s gone…G-O-N-E.”
Katy walked over to the couch, reached down, grabbed her friend by the shoulders and shook him once. “Calm down, okay? You’re freaking out here and if you don’t stop it soon, you’re gonna start to hyperventilate…just calm the hell down.”
“How do you expect me to calm down, Katy?” Kris jumped up from the couch and walked into the kitchen with his friend following closely behind. “I can’t calm down, okay? I don’t want to calm down! I just lost the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me!”
Katy stepped back. “Did you just hear what you said?”
“Yes, I heard it,” Kris huffed. “And I’m sorry, Brian,” he said, looking towards the sky and then back down to his friend. “But I thought I could never love someone as much as I loved Brian…but I was wrong.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I was so wrong…because what I feel for Adam is stronger than anything I ever felt for Brian…ever. I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on that man that this was going to happen.”
“What was going to happen?”
Kris sighed, dropping his hands. “That’d I fall head over heels in love with him…I just never thought that it’d be to this extreme, though. And what did I do? I blew it! That’s what I did…I scared him off because I couldn’t stop thinking about Brian and how I’d be betraying him by letting him go.”
“Kristopher,” Katy replied softly. “You’re not betraying him, honey…he’s gone. It’d be different if you were married and fell in love with Adam…but you’re not married anymore.”
“And I probably won’t be in a month, either!” Kris said, dropping his head to the kitchen counter. “Adam doesn’t think that I have room in my heart for him and for our memories but it’s not that at all…I was only scared because in my heart,” he said, grabbing his chest. “In my heart I know that Brian and my memories with him are fading…and God help me…I don’t want to forget him…but God help me…I love Adam more than anyone I’ve ever loved in my entire life.” Taking a deep breath, he kept his face buried on the counter. “He thinks I don’t have room for him but the truth is…he’s got most of the room already in there.” Removing his hand from his chest, he swept his arm in the air. “Brian’s room is dwindling…and this house is really the only thing left.”
Katy placed her hand over Kris’s heart and whispered, “You need to tell Adam that, honey…he’ll understand then why you’re feeling the way you are.”
“It’s too late, Katy!” Kris’s head slowly lifted up. “It’s too damn late…”
“It’s not too late, Kris,” Adam said, taking a step into the kitchen and looking directly at him. “It’s never too late.”
Katy jumped, turning around. “How long have you been here?”
Adam’s eyes never moved from Kris’s face. Smiling, he took a few steps towards him and stopped. “I heard the whole thing.”
“You did?” Kris asked, closing his eyes.
“Why didn’t you just tell me, honey?” Adam asked, taking another step towards Kris and reaching out for his hand. “You should’ve just told me how you felt…I would’ve understood.”
Katy cleared her throat and turned to leave. “I’m gonna just go now…I’ll call you later, Kristopher.”
Neither one even acknowledged what they’d just heard. Their eyes were glued to each other.
“Kris…I love you more than life,” Adam said quietly, pulling him into a hug. “Don’t forget that. And if you want to hang on to this house, then we’ll hang on to this house until you’re ready to do otherwise.”
“I love you, Adam,” Kris replied, burying his head into Adam’s chest. “God…I love you so much…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I was feeling, I’ll never keep it bottled up again.”
“Promise?” Adam asked, pulling Kris slightly back so that he could look in his eyes.
“Yes,” he whispered.
“And I promise you that I’ll scoot over and make room for your memories with Brian,” Adam said with such complete honesty that it even scared him. “I don’t want you to forget him, I’d never ask you to do that…just don’t compare us, okay?”
“I won’t,” Kris said, looking into Adam’s eyes. “I promise…besides, there really is nothing to compare. I’ve never been happier in my entire life than I have been over the last few weeks.”
“Me either, sweetheart,” Adam said, pulling Kris in close and kissing his head. “Me either.”
