Can't Let You Go - Chapter Eighteen

[something_rare]

Title: Can't Let You Go - Chapter Eighteen
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Beta: bigj52. Thanks for your patience and continuous support.

Summary: Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.




Chapter Eighteen

Arriving at the recording studio, Kris wondered why he was even bothering. If it hadn’t been for Adam insisting that he stop by before heading to the airport, he wouldn’t have even contemplated something so useless. He seriously doubted if Adam would even notice that he was there. And if he did, would he have the time to even do anything about it?

It wasn’t like they could have sex there. Hell, Adam was too exhausted to have sex anywhere during Kris’s four-day trip. Not once did they even remotely come close to making love.

Tapping on the window, Adam quickly turned around and smiled. “Hang on a sec,” he mouthed at Kris, doing the one-finger signal as well.
Kris faked a smiled back, mumbling under his breath. He didn’t have a second in Adam’s time. He only had thirty minutes as it was. Adam’s seconds could be hours. Doing a quick glance around the studio, Kris frowned. Nobody else was anywhere to be seen. If it was so damn important for Adam to be there, why weren’t his band there as well?

Kris barely had a chance to sit down before Adam came barreling through the doors. “Hey, baby.” He walked up to Kris and pulled him up off the couch. “I’ve only got a few minutes here.”

Big surprise there… “Where’s everyone else?”

“They left last night.”

Kris stepped back. “Left New York?”

“Yeah,” Adam said, nodding. “Why?”

“Why can’t you leave with me today then?”

Adam took a step back as well, his facial expressions growing dim. “Because I still have a few days worth of shit to do here.”

“They don’t have to help?”

Adam walked over to the glass window, staring into it. “Their job is done. Plus it’s easier for the engineer if I help with the finishing touches.”

Kris pouted, throwing his arms up in the air. “Well, why can’t he send you the song and you listen to it back home? It’s not as if you don’t have a studio back in LA.”

“Kris,” Adam quietly retaliated, turning his attention back to his husband. “It’s the way things work in this business. It’s my job to do the finishing touches and just because I’m married now, I can’t shuck my responsibilities.”

Kris’s eyes narrowed, focusing on Adam’s face and comment he’d just heard leave Adam’s lips. “I’m not asking you to shuck your responsibilities, Adam. I’m just asking you not to forget about your other responsibilities.”

Adam’s eyes widened. “Ah, come on, Kris…you’re a big boy…”

Kris interjected quickly. “That doesn’t mean that I don’t need some attention too.”

“I know that,” Adam huffed. “I’ll be back in LA in a couple of days.”

“For what?” Kris asked, folding his arms in front of his chest. “Three/four weeks and then you’re off again for God knows how long and God only knows when we’ll see each other then.”

Adam’s hands flew to his hips. “First of all, at this point, I’ll probably be in LA for longer than just a couple of weeks. There’s a lot of shit to work out with my record label before I even start discussing the second leg of the tour. I need to finish these songs first.” He relaxed his stance and smiled. “And secondly, at least I got them convinced that I need my own tour bus since I am now married and need some privacy.”

Adam was not helping here, not at all. “Oh…so am I supposed to be grateful for that? If I’m only going to see you for a few times during the tour anyway, it won’t make a damn bit of difference if you have a tour bus of your own or not!”

Adam took a few steps towards him. “Whoa…wait a minute here. You knew damn well what my schedule was going to be like.”
Kris knew what Adam was saying was true, but he didn’t realize to what extent it was going to be like.

“Honey…things will calm down eventually, I promise.”

“When?” Kris asked, taking a step backwards to lengthen the distance. “When we’re in our fifties? Sixties?”

“No,” Adam said, laughing.

“This isn’t funny, Adam!” Frantically, Kris began pacing the hallway floor.

“I know it’s not funny, but honey…” Adam trailed, trying to smooth things over. “You’re making a bigger deal out of this than needs to be. These last four days were hectic…you can’t judge everything based on this. It isn’t normally like this.”

“I am, huh?” Kris said, stopping for only a moment. “I was here for four days and out of those four days…how many minutes did we actually even spend together? Or better yet, how many times did we actually have any physical contact of any sort?”

Adam dropped to the couch and sighed. “Listen…”

“How many times, Adam? Answer the question.”

Adam’s head slowly lifted. “I thought you said you didn’t like to fight.”

“You’re changing the subject,” Kris heaved.

Adam’s eyes made contact with his. “None…but like I said earlier, this isn’t the norm, baby…it really isn’t.”

Kris bit his bottom lip. He knew what he wanted to say, he just didn’t know if it was something he should say. Against his better judgment, he said it anyway. “I don’t like being second in your life.”

Adam’s head lurched forward. “Who said anything about you being second? You are definitely not second.”

“Patrick.”

Adam’s head flew back in confusion. “Patrick?”

“Yeah, Patrick told me I’d find out soon enough that music always comes first.”

“When the hell did you talk to my ex?”

Kris shook his head in astonishment. “The day I got here, Adam. He was in this very same hallway with me. You should’ve realized that when you saw me standing out here only seconds after he’d left you. Why was he here anyway? I thought this was supposed to be hush-hush.”

Adam ran a hand through his hair. “It is…A friend back home told him where he could find me.”

Kris peered into Adam’s eyes, unwilling to let it go. “Is he trying to get back with you?”

Adam’s head jerked up. “Who? Patrick?”

“Who else?”

“Fuck, no,” Adam said, reaching up and grabbing Kris’s arm. “He was only here to invite everyone to his movie premier.”

“So I heard,” Kris mumbled.

“What else did he fill you in on?”

“Isn’t that enough?” Kris asked, freeing his arm of Adam’s hold. “Why would he invite his ex-boyfriend and his band to his movie premiere anyway?”

Adam’s eyes didn’t waver as he dropped his arm down. “Because he’s known these guys for a long time, and he is close to Monte.”

Adam’s head swung around when he heard the engineer knock on the glass window that separated them. “I gotta get back in there.”

“Yeah,” Kris mumbled, grabbing his bag from the couch. “You wouldn’t want to keep him waiting.”

Adam stood up and grabbed Kris, pulling him into a hug. “Things are gonna slow down, sweetheart.”

Reaching up, Kris quickly placed a kiss on Adam’s cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

“Hey,” Adam said, pulling him back again. “I don’t want you to leave mad.”

“I’m not mad, Adam.”

“Then what are you?”

Kris looked up at him and sighed. “Disappointed.”

“That’s worse.”

“You’d better go.”

Adam hugged him tightly. “I’ll make this up to you.”



________________________________________




With Adam arriving home in just minutes, Kris sat down to try and relax. He’d been pretty brief when talking to him over the past few days and it didn’t go unnoticed. He was hurt by Adam’s lack of attention when he was in New York, but knew that he really didn’t have a right to be. After all, Adam was busy and Kris knew that before going out there. But at the same time, he was still hurt.

When Adam had called him that morning to tell him what time he’d be in, Kris simply told him that he’d meet Adam at his place. He didn’t go into any details. Adam still had no idea that all Kris’s things were now nestled snuggly into his LA home, his swing included. Nor did he have any idea that that Kris’d outright quit his job.

Quitting his job wasn’t what he had planned. When the school called and asked him if he was able to accompany some of the kids to the summer camp, he had no other choice but to quit. Adam needed to be his number one priority now. His marriage came first.

Taking a deep breath, he jumped up from the couch when he noticed the time. If everything went smoothly at the airport, Adam’d be arriving home in less than five minutes. Grabbing a wooden spoon, he quickly went over to the stove and turned on the back burner. Inside the 2-quart pot was the home-made recipe for his mother’s spaghetti sauce. Inside the 4-quart pot were a whole lot of home-made spaghetti noodles. Hours and hours worth of home-made noodles.

Taking another deep breath, Kris looked down at his feet; his famous fuck-me boots tapping to the sound of the music that was playing in the background. The Beatles…another favorite group of his. Smiling, he had to give himself credit for being so brave, running around the house in only a full length apron took a lot of courage on his part.

He was quite a sight to behold, standing in front of the stove in only his boots and an apron; his backside completely exposed.

When Kris heard the garage door open, his heartbeat sped up. If everything went as planned, they’d be making love on the kitchen floor in approximately two minutes flat.

“And when I touch you I feel happy, inside...It´s such a feeling that my love, I can't hide” he sung quietly; his body swaying back and forth to the music.

“Hey, honey…I’m home!” Adam yelled, walking through the door connecting to the garage, which was an only yard or two away from the kitchen. “Lane…put that bag down, woman! I’ve got it.”

Lane? Lane?! Kris dropped the wooden spoon on the ground. “Lane?” Bending down, he reached for the spoon and stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Adam clear his throat.

“Please tell me Lane is still in the garage,” Kris whispered above the music.

All he heard was a laugh, followed by a loud groan.

“Adam?” Slowly, Kris stood up and closed his eyes, afraid to turn around. “That’s you, right?”

“Lane!” Adam yelled.

Hearing Adam’s voice, Kris turned around in a flash.

“Stay put,” Adam said quietly, walking out of the kitchen.

“Oh my God!” Kris dropped his head back and took a deep breath. So much for his plan. Resting the spoon on the stove, he turned off the burners and sighed. Two minutes had past and they weren’t on the floor yet. He shook his head and leaned against the counter, wondering what he should or shouldn’t do. Adam said to stay put, but what if Lane made her way into the kitchen?

Deciding to follow Adam’s orders, Kris stayed put and didn’t move a muscle. If Lane did find her way into the kitchen, at least she wouldn’t get an eyeful from the front. The apron covered him to his thighs. Oh, Lane’d know he was naked all right, but at least she wouldn’t actually be seeing him naked.

There was a difference, right?

Kris waited for what seemed like an eternity, before he heard Adam yell “thanks and I’ll catch you later,” to Lane. When the door leading into the house finally slammed shut, Kris let out the breath he’d been holding in.

“And when I touch you inside I feel happy...It´s such a feeling that my love, I can't hide”

Kris laughed, hearing Adam make up his own words to the song as he came down the hall and into the kitchen.

“Damn,” Adam whispered, stopping in his tracks and eyeing Kris up one side and down. “Turn around again,” he demanded.

Kris moaned when he heard Adam’s demand. When Adam took control like that, it turned Kris on in a way he couldn’t describe. Doing as he was told, he heard Kris coming closer and closed his eyes.

“Fuck!” Adam moaned, allowing his hands to slide up Kris’s thighs and rest on his waist. He leaned over to whisper, “I think Lane knew what was up.”

“Why?” Kris whispered back, allowing his head to fall against Adam’s chest.

“Because I don’t think I was real smooth about it. I just kinda told her to get out.”

“Oops,” Kris answered.

“I also think that the bulge in my pants gave it away too.”

The sound of Adam’s voice sent shivers up Kris’s spine. “Oh…sorry,” Kris mumbled incoherently.

“You are not,” Adam replied, breaking away to kiss his neck. “And neither am I. If this is what I’m gonna come home to every time I’m away…” Adam trailed, moving his hands to Kris’s exposed bottom. “I’m not gonna want to stay home.”

Kris moaned, feeling Adam’s hands slide over the smoothness of his bottom. His hands felt good. His voice sounded even better.

“You even wore your fuck-me boots.” Reaching around, Adam crouched down and cupped Kris’s bottom, placing kisses in random spots. “Is that what you want, baby?” he asked, sliding his hand between Kris’s legs. “For me to fuck you?”

“Yeah,” Kris moaned, slightly opening his legs to allow Adam’s hand to finish what was started.

“Turn around,” Adam demanded.

When Kris did, his eyes immediately fixed on Adam’s. “God, I’ve missed you…missed this…missed everything.”

Adam didn’t have to say a word. Kris could tell by the look in his eyes just how bad Adam missed him too. It was clearly written in them for Kris to see. Desire. Want. Love. It was all there, buried in the depth of his blue pools.

Watching Adam made Kris want him even more. He didn’t want to work through the tangled web of foreplay. He just wanted his husband. “Adam?”

“Hmmm?” he responded, slightly cocking his head.

Without any further fuss, Kris sat down on the floor and just stared at Adam.

“Forget the foreplay?” Adam asked, crouching down to join Kris.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “How’d you know?”

“I can read your actions pretty good,” Adam mumbled, lying Kris down. Reaching down, he fiddled with his jeans. “We can work the foreplay angle tonight.”

Kris smiled at him.

“You want to take this into the bedroom?”

“No.”

“No?” Adam asked in a surprised tone. “The couch?”

“Nope.”

Adam shook his head. “Um…the kitchen table?”

Kris’s face lit up. “Hadn’t thought about that one.”

Adam leaned over him and placed his lips on Kris’s. “Just what did you have in mind?”

Kris patted the floor with his hand.

“Right here? On the kitchen floor?”

“Yep,” he answered.

“How about we start here on the floor?” Adam asked, kissing his neck. “And work our way to the kitchen table?”

“Hmmm…”

“Sounds good, doesn’t it?”

“Hmmm…Mmmm….”

Adam pulled away and stared into Kris’s eyes. “I’ve missed you, honey and I’m sorry that I couldn’t catch a flight home with you earlier this week.”

As much as Kris appreciated Adam’s kind words, he didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to talk about anything. Not a single damn thing. What he wanted was to feel his husband on him, touching him and inside him.

Adam’s lips turned up in a slight smile. “Do you want me to shut up now?”

Kris nodded, closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of Adam’s hand working his way up to his cock.

“Damn,” Adam whispered, leaning over him. “You’re so damn hard.”

Hearing the words, Kris moaned. He knew he was hard…He’d been feeling himself get hard as the minutes ticked by…and it all started with the garage door opening.

“What’d you make for dinner?”

Kris’s eyes flew open. “I thought you were gonna shut up?”

“I just don’t want to spoil my appetite,” Adam replied, making his way down between his legs. “Surely, you can understand that.”

Feeling Adam’s tongue on him, Kris groaned.

“I love the outfit…did I mention that yet?”

“God…” Kris moaned, wiggling back and forth. “Just eat your appetizer and shut up.”

Adam laughed, extending his neck so that he could see Kris’s face more clearly. “When did you get so bossy?”

Kris reached out and grabbed a fistful of hair. Pulling it back, he eyed Adam carefully. “You’re driving me crazy.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

“Argh!” Kris screeched, palming the back of Adam’s head and shoving it between his legs. The minute Adam took him to his mouth, Kris arched his back and pushed himself further inside Adam’s mouth. “You’re not allowed to be excused until you’ve eaten your whole meal.”

When Adam laughed, the vibrations from his head and lips jerking pushed Kris to the point where he was about to lose all control. Instantly, his legs bore down against Adam’s shoulders and his head thrashed from side to side.

“Oh God….” he moaned over and over again until he came crashing back down to earth.

“Well, that was the quickest damn meal I’ve ever eaten.”

Lifting his head slightly off the floor, Kris’s eyes narrowed. “It's been a long time since you've done that and you are far from being done, Mr. Lambert.”

Adam smiled before disappearing between Kris’s legs again.



________________________________________




“Wow, if it’s possible,” Adam moaned, slurping up the last of his spaghetti through his lips. “Your pasta’s even better than your mom’s and your mom’s pasta was pretty damn good…the best I’ve ever had.”

Kris raised his head slightly and smiled. He was lying down on his stomach at the foot of the bed while Adam sat up against the headboard with a pillow resting on his lap, acting as his table. “Thanks, babe.”

He smiled at Kris, removing the pillow and plate from his lap. “C’mere.”

“I’m not done yet,” Kris whined, digging his fork back into his meal. “Just a second.”

Adam frowned, cocking his head to the side and taking in the sight of his beautiful husband devouring his food. And what a sight he was to behold. He had spaghetti sauce oozing out of the corners of his mouth, and noodles dangling from his mouth while his lips slowly were sucking them in.

Taking a deep breath, he watched as Kris worked the noodles. Adam could’ve sworn Kris was taking his time sucking them in, accentuating the ache he suddenly felt in his groin.

When Kris’s eyes slightly shifted towards his, Adam knew instantly what Kris had on his mind.

“I wonder how your dick would taste with some spaghetti sauce and noodles slathered on it?”

Adam held back his laughter and just smiled. Yep, he guessed it right. Grabbing the waistband of his boxer briefs, he pulled them out from his stomach and looked down briefly. “Do you want to find out?”

“Do you think I would’ve asked if I didn’t?” Kris questioned, inching his way towards Adam. “Have you ever had spaghetti noodles wrapped around your cock?”

“Nope, don’t think I’ve ever tried that one before,” Adam replied in a lazy drawl.

“What have you tried?” Kris’s head was now in the direct line of fire, so to speak. Taking his hands, Kris ordered Adam to lift up a bit so that he could pull down the waistband of the boxer briefs effortlessly. As soon as they were down, Kris looked back at Adam. “Well?”

“Hmm…” Adam trailed, looking towards the ceiling. “Whipped cream, honey, chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup, peanut butter…”

“Peanut butter?” Kris asked while placing the remainder of his dinner along the entire length of Adam’s now rigid shaft. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Adam moaned, shifting slightly. “I wouldn’t recommend it though…it tends to stick.”

A slight laugh escaped from Kris’s lips. “I guess so.” Taking a noodle, he strategically wrapped it around Adam’s dick and smiled. Admiring his work, Kris proceeded to wrap another three noodles tightly around Adam. “I think we need to bring food into the picture more often…I need to go shopping.”

“As long as it’s with me, baby,” Adam groaned, watching Kris carefully manipulate everything until he appeared to be satisfied. “That’s quite a piece of art there.”

“I’d say,” Kris whispered, licking his lips. “I hate to almost ruin it.”

“I’d hate for you not to ruin it.”

“I know you would.” Taking his hand, Kris slowly placed Adam’s dick at the tip of his mouth and then looked at him. “I love you.”

Unable to reply, Adam sat back and watched Kris destroy his piece of art. It wasn’t long before his head fell back against the headboard, pleasure taking over every nerve in his body. The moans coming from Kris alone were almost enough to put an end to the fun he was having.

When Adam felt Kris’s tongue run along his sac, his head shot up while he grabbed a fistful of hair. “Put it in your mouth,” he demanded.

“But I wanted…”

“Put it in your mouth now.”

Slowly, Kris lifted his head. Placing the tip of Adam in his mouth, Adam pushed Kris’s head down and held it there. He sighed heavily; the sight of seeing his shaft rammed deep inside Kris’s throat stirred feelings in him that he couldn’t even describe.

With all the control in the world, he slowly pulled Kris up, only to push him back down again, careful not to push too far. This wasn’t about force; it was about pleasure and control.

He kept this up until the exact moment when he knew if he didn’t stop, he wouldn’t be able to. Lifting Kris’s head up and off him, Kris protested loudly. “Please…I want…”

“Get on,” Adam demanded, scooting his way down the bed some so that he was lying flat on his back.

Kris smiled, slowly lifting himself up and over Adam’s legs. Adam reached over the night stand, grabbing a condom and the tube of lube. Kris took them from his husband and prepared Adam’s cock, sheathing him with the condom and applying a generous coating of lube. Taking his time, he finally lowered himself on Adam at an agonizingly slow speed until Adam was completely surrounded by his warmth.

“Oh God,” Kris moaned, dropping his chest to Adam’s. “I love it when you take control.”

“I know you do, honey.”

“It turns me on.”

“I know it does, honey.” Bending his knees in order to apply his weight to his feet, Adam grabbed Kris’s waist and held him still while he thrust into Kris repeatedly. “It turns me on too.”

Once Adam was to the point of no return again, he dropped his weight and let Kris work at his own speed.

Which was way too damn slow for him.

“You’re killing me,” he moaned.

“I know, honey,” Kris whispered into his ear before thrusting his tongue deep inside it. “That’s why I do it.”

When Adam felt Kris’s slightly change positions, the intensity he felt increased drastically. He wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. Opening his eyes, he noticed that Kris’s were closed, his moans becoming increasingly louder.

“Do you need my help?” Adam asked, slowly sliding his hand down between their bodies.

“No,” Kris barely squeaked back.

The way he was moving and rubbing his body against Adam was obviously the only help he needed because within thirty seconds of Adam’s question, he arched his back and ground into Adam, wildly thrashing his head back and forth.

Seeing Kris sent Adam towards the same height and within a minute, they were both sprawled out, dripping with perspiration and spent.

“Whoa,” Kris moaned, disengaging himself from Adam. Dropping to the bed, he curled up on his side next to Adam. “Thanks for the ride.”

“My pleasure,” Adam moaned back, spooning up beside Kris. “Thank you.”

Spooned together, they laid in silence for a few minutes.

“I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do when I’m on tour again and you’re not with me,” Adam whispered into Kris’s ear. “It’s gonna be complete torture.”

“Hmmm…”

He wrapped his arms around Kris tightly. “I love you.”

“Hmmm…” Kris mumbled. “Aren’t you supposed to roll over and go to sleep now?”

“Can’t,” he admitted.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Did you go to Patrick’s movie premiere?”

Adam lifted his head slightly. “No, absolutely not. I wouldn’t go to something like that without you.”

“Oh…okay,” Kris mumbled, pushing his backside into Adam further. “Just checking.”

“I wouldn’t do that, honey.”

“Okay.”

Slowly, Adam scooted back and reached around to roll Kris over some. “Do you know how much I love you?”

Kris smiled at him. “Yeah, I do.”

“I don’t think you do.” Adam shook his head, peering deeply into Kris’s brown eyes. “I know that what you had with Brian was pretty deep and the love you two shared was pretty intense but I’ve never experienced that kinda love until now.” His hand rubbed Kris’s cheek, his eyes never moving from his. “I loved Patrick. Not towards the end of our relationship, but I loved him. But the love I feel for you is something I never even knew existed. I cannot imagine life without you…I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Then don’t…because I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m being serious, Kris,” Adam said, placing a kiss on his forehead. “And it’s not just because we just had some great sex either so wipe that male chauvinistic thought from your head.”

Kris smiled at Adam, letting him know exactly that that was his thought.

“See,” Adam shot. “I even know what you’re thinking most of the time too. But if we never had sex again, I’d still feel the same way that I do right now. I love you so much that it scares me.” Smiling, he wiped away the tear that trickled down from Kris’s eye. “The best damn decision I ever made in my entire life was agreeing to go to Cozumel, because if I hadn’t…I would never have met you.”

Kris swallowed hard. “I feel the same way, Adam. I really do.” Reaching up, he ran his hand along Adam’s face. “And as far as what Brian and I had, it pales in comparison to what we have.” He took a deep breath and smiled. “You…Adam Lambert…are my soul mate and the thing that really rattles my cage is the fact that I constantly think about what my life would’ve been like had Brian not died. If he hadn’t died…I never would’ve met you.”

Kris’s tears started flowing down his cheeks.

“And I feel horrible because I think about that, because I’m not happy that he died, I’m really not, but at the same time…I can’t help but think about how if he was still alive…I would never have known that this type of love existed.”

“I understand, sweetie,” Adam replied, kissing Kris’s cheeks and tasting his tears. “It’s Kismet, honey…it really is.”

“I know,” Kris whispered, pulling Adam’s lips to meet his. “I love you.”

“Baby,” Adam whispered, pulling back to look into Kris’s eyes. “I can’t wait to grow old with you. And I don’t ever want you thinking for one second that you’re second in my life. You are and always will be my first priority…Music doesn’t even come close.”