Can't Let You Go - Chapter Nineteen
Jul. 19th, 2011 02:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
something_rareTitle: Can't Let You Go - Chapter Nineteen
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
bigj52 . Thanks for your patience and continuous support.
Summary: Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.
Chapter Nineteen
“Wake up, sleepy head!” Adam sat down on the bed and instantly started bouncing around to rouse his husband from his deep sleep.
“What?” Kris said, pulling the covers over his head. “It’s not time to wake up yet.”
He cleared his throat. “Honey…it’s almost noon.”
“What,” Kris sat up straight and rubbed his eyes. “Why the hell did you let me sleep so long?”
Adam shrugged. “I wore you out last night so I thought I’d let you sleep it off.”
“Very funny.”
Adam leaned in and kissed him. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.”
Kris moaned, lapping his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “I’m tired.”
“Come on,” Adam urged, pushing on the bed. “We have a busy day ahead of us.”
“Busy?” Kris asked, moaning even louder. “Why?”
“We need to go grocery shopping and baby furniture shopping.”
Kris’s head swung around, his eyes gaping wide. “Baby furniture? What in hell for? You trying to tell me something you should’ve told me before we got married?”
Adam laughed, grabbing Kris’s hand and pulling him up and off the bed. “I had this dream last night…about a baby…and somehow I knew he was ours. I woke up and was so disappointed it was just a dream.”
Kris stopped walking towards the bathroom when he heard that. Turning around, he cocked his head to the side. “We can make that dream come true.”
“We can?” Adam asked, falling back to the bed and lying back. “Then we need to talk about this. I want babies…and we’re not getting any younger here.”
Kris walked up to Adam and stood between his legs that were dangling off the bed. “You want babies that bad, huh?” Kris waited until Adam nodded his head and then jumped on top of him. “Cool…then let’s have babies.”
“Really?”
“Yeah really…” Kris said, covering his hand with his mouth before he leaned down and kissed Adam’s chin. “I’m pretty sure my breath would knock you out.”
“I don’t care,” Adam said, pulling Kris’s hand off his mouth. “And by the way, when did you move some of your stuff over here? This morning, I noticed that my closet was considerably less organized then when I left for New York. I also noticed that there are plaid shirts in the closet now and I also took note of the antique sofa downstairs.” Smiling, he wiggled his eyebrows. “Is there something you forgot to tell me?”
Kris smiled back at his wonderful husband. Adam looked pretty damn cute lying there on the bed; his hair sprawled out on the sides of his head and the stubble that was taking over his face. “You’re hot…you know that?”
Adam winked. “So I’ve been told. Now stop avoiding my question and ‘fess up, boy. Did you or did you not move in with me?”
“Maybe,” Kris said, shrugging his shoulders.
“You little shit,” Adam moaned, sitting up and grabbing Kris by the waist. Pulling him down to the bed, Adam rolled over to his side. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was gonna tell you when I was in New York but I hardly even saw you. You’re not mad, are you?”
“Mad?” Adam questioned, giving Kris a lop-sided grin. “Mad that my husband finally decided that he wanted to live with me?” He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think so.”
“Good.” Kris looked up at him and bit his bottom lip. “Because I think there’s something else that I should probably fill you in on too.”
“Uh oh.” Adam’s finger ran along Kris’s lips. “You’re biting your lip…this can’t be good.”
Kris scrunched up his face and closed his eyes tightly. “I quit my job.”
“What?”
Kris opened his eyes and immediately noticed the concern on Adam’s face. “I quit my job and before you say anything…don’t worry, I have a little money set aside for me to live on for a year and once the sale of the house goes through with Daniel…I’ll have another $100,000 or so.” He dropped his head to Adam’s side, burying it inside the mattress.
Adam’s head lurched forward. “You sold your house to Daniel for $100,000?”
“Well…not exactly,” Kris admitted through a tight-lipped grin. “More like $92,000.” He cringed, pushing his head further into the mattress.
“$92,000?” Adam repeated loudly.
“Yeah,” Kris whispered quietly, lifting his head to look at Adam. “I know the house was worth a little more. When I refinanced last year it was appraised for $165,000 but I didn’t feel right charging him that because he’s my brother and everything so we settled on $92,000.”
Adam’s eyes narrowed.
“So between my savings of $18,000 and the house, I’ll have enough to live on for at least a couple years without having to work.”
Adam sat up on the bed and rubbed his eyes. “You can live on a little over $100,000 for a couple years?”
“More like five at least.”
Removing his hands, Adam looked at Kris. After Kris nodded, he blew out a breath. “Hot damn, boy…I should’ve found you sooner…I didn’t know men like you existed.”
Kris sat up slightly and punched Adam in the gut.
“Hey!”
“So you’re not mad?”
Adam laughed, shaking his head. “No, I’m not mad…why would I be mad? Daniel should be the one who’s mad, not me.”
Kris sat up completely and pulled his knees up to his chest. “Why would Daniel be mad?”
Adam jumped up off the bed, laughing loudly along the way. “Because you’re married to someone who can more than afford to support you.”
“I don’t want you to support me, Adam. You knew that going into this marriage too. The only reason why I quit my job was because they needed me to be on the summer camp with kids, and that way I wouldn’t be able to spend time with you when you’re away from home.” Dropping his head to his knees, he looked at Adam carefully. “I only did this because I can’t stomach the thought of you going away on tour and me not being able to see you.”
“Honey,” Adam said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “It’s not like I won’t be able to come home from time to time.”
“That isn’t enough for me, Adam,” Kris huffed. “I don’t want to be away from you for days, weeks or months on end. That isn’t how a marriage is supposed to be. People grow apart when crap like that happens. Out of sight, out of mind.”
“Kris,” Adam softly said, running his hand through Kris’s hair. “Just because that happened with Katy and Cale doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen to us. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I do.” Kris looked at him with sadness in his eyes. “But it still scares me.”
Adam leaned over and kissed his head, pulling Kris into his arms. “You don’t have anything to be scared of. It’s not gonna happen with us. And by the way, how are they doing?”
Kris shrugged, feeling the sadness for his friends in his heart. “They’re still going to counseling but so far, nothing’s changed. Cale’s still at his parents’ place.” Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. “I hope to God they can work things out.”
“Yeah,” Adam whispered. “Me too.”
“So you’re okay with all of this?” Kris looked up at Adam, pulling back slightly to see his reaction.
“I’m okay with it…as long as you’re okay with it.” Adam looked at him seriously, his eyes staying glued to Kris’s. “I don’t want you to end up resenting me down the road though because you’re no longer working. I know how much you loved your job, honey.”
“I love you more.”
Adam smiled. “And this house thing with Daniel. When’s the closing?”
Kris shrugged. “Won't know for a couple weeks yet.”
“Is it too late to change the price of the house?”
Kris shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, you need to call up and find out.” He stood up and made his way into the adjoining walk-in closet. “You don’t need the money…we don’t need the money.”
“I can’t just give him the house, honey…he is too proud.”
“Fine,” Adam yelled. “At least lower the price by half, sweetheart, it’s the least we could do.”
Kris jumped up from the bed and walked into the closet, to see his husband re-arranging the clothes that were hung next to his. “You don’t have to do that, you know. This isn’t your family…it’s mine.”
Adam stopped and turned around. “And what’s yours is mine, babe. And yes…they are my family now…so don’t argue with me, just get your ass over here and help me clean up this closet.”
“There’s nothing to clean!”
Adam shook his head and dropped his shoulders. “Did I forget to mention to you how much of a clean freak I am?”
“Yeah, I think you did.”
“I’m a clean freak, and I love my clothes, so get used to it.” Adam took Kris’s shoes that were thrown into the corner of the closet and swept them up in one big swoop, throwing them into the center of the closet. “And that goes for my tour bus too. I’m especially a freak when it comes to that. I can’t stand clutter on that thing. It’s way too small to have any type of clutter visible to the naked eye.”
Kris dropped to his knees. “Are you for real?” He picked up his black Converse and threw it back into the corner of the closet.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Putting my shoes back where they were.”
“You need to put your shoes where they belong,” Adam stated, pointing to the shoe shelf along the end of the closet space. “In there, with the rest of them.”
“There is hardly any room in that damn thing,” Kris huffed, frowning.
Adam laughed, pointing to Kris’s shoes in a pile. “You hardly have any shoes, so we’re all set.”
“Hmphh…” Kris shot back, standing to his feet. “We’ll just see about that, buddy. Once I get my $50,000 from the sale of the house…I’ll be more than willing to buy myself a couple hundred more pairs.”
“Ah shit,” Adam moaned, pulling Kris into a hug. “If that’s how you want to spend your money, go right ahead. I’m not about to stop you.” He kissed Kris passionately, running his hands along his backside slowly. “But promise me you’ll get something other than Converse and Cons.”
Kris laughed, patting Adam on the butt. “I’ll need some sex toys too.”
Adam’s lips made a path to his ear. “That sounds promising.”
“Sure does, doesn’t it?” Kris reached around the front of Adam’s jeans and cupped his crotch. “Should do that before the babies are here.”
“Yeah…when can we start working on that anyway?”
Kris scratched his head; trying to remember the articles he had read about adoption. Should they try surrogacy first? “I think we should talk to someone about this first, see what our options are. This could take months.”
“Months?” Adam whined.
Kris dropped back down to his knees and began sorting out his shoes. “It’ll fly by, honey. Now…” he trailed, handing Adam the first pair of shoes. “You want these shoes in the right spot; you need to help me put them there.”
Adam smiled down at Kris, wiggling his eyebrows excitedly. “While you’re down there…”
Kris smiled back up at him and wiggled his index finger at Adam. “Come a little closer, sir.”
Adam threw the pair of shoes over his shoulder. “To hell with the shoes.”
“That’s what I thought,” Kris laughed, shaking his head. “You’re a little too easy to play with, Lambert. Is this all it’s gonna take for me to get out of keeping a clean house?”
“That might just work.”
________________________________________
When the last of the bags were loaded into the truck, Adam slammed down the back hatch and looked at his husband questionably. “That is it, right?” He peered into the window through the back hatch and shook his head. There were four suitcases along with two duffel bags, three pillows and two bags of goodies to snack on.
“Yes,” Kris replied scornfully. “And from what I could see, you packed just as much as I did only you stuffed your one suitcase fuller than I did any of mine.”
“Maybe,” Adam replied with a smirk. Walking over to Kris, he threw his arm up and around, heading them both towards the house. “Have I told you in the last month how much I’ve enjoyed being home with you?”
“Only a hundred times a day, sweetie.”
“That’s what I thought.” Opening the front door, he allowed Kris to go in first. “I’m just gonna go grab the cooler from the kitchen, so better hit the potty now and then we’ll be off.” Picking the cooler up off the floor, he winced. “Shit, Kris…how much shit did you pack into this damn thing?”
“WHAT?”
“Never mind,” he mumbled, opening the lid to the cooler. He searched through the mess to try and figure out why the damn thing was so heavy. Item by item, he went through the cooler. Ten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, ten cans of soda, six water bottles, fifteen oranges, ten apples, sixteen slices of American cheese, twelve mozzarella string cheese sticks, one bag of Oreo cookies, and two bags of candy bars.
If it weren’t for the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, he would’ve been upset at how much food Kris packed. He packed enough food for a three-day drive, not a six-hour drive. They were merely headed to his mom’s in San Francisco for a visit.
Hearing the phone ring, he started towards it but stopped once he realized that Kris had gotten it. Walking back to the cooler, he strategically re-arranged the placement of all the items once he started placing them back in, leaving out the two bags of candy bars and sixteen slices of American cheese.
Adam laughed while placing the cheese back into the fridge. What was Kris thinking? Who packed American cheese slices for a drive?
Closing the cooler, he lifted it up and carried it out to the truck. Once that was accomplished, he checked all the air pressure in the tires just to be safe. Looking back towards the front door, he frowned.
What was taking Kris so long?
Opening the hood of the truck, he checked the oil to stall for time and then slammed the hood closed. “Come on, Kris…let’s go,” he mumbled under his breath, walking to the front door of the house.
Pushing the door open, he stepped in. “COME ON!”
When he didn’t get any reply, he kicked off his shoes and walked down the hallway in a huff. Kris knew he wanted to be on the road ten minutes ago. They had a schedule to keep. Stopping for a moment to admire their wedding photo that hung on the wall, he traced the frame with his fingers.
It was a beautiful picture…
A treasured moment in time…
Smiling, he continued on his way and told himself not to be so impatient. It wasn’t like his mom was going anywhere. He made his way into the master bedroom and headed straight for the bathroom, knocking once when he reached his destination. “Honey…you still in there?”
When he heard the undeniable sound of gagging, he turned the handle on the door to find that it was locked. “Open the door!” Knowing the distinct difference between gagging and actual vomiting, he began to panic when he realized that it wasn’t just gagging he heard. He took his foot and kicked the door open in two tries. “What’s going on?” he questioned, taking a deep breath.
His eyes flew to the floor where Kris was slumped over the toilet, heaving. Slowly, Kris’s head turned towards him. And in that exact instant, Adam knew that something was terribly wrong.
Kris’s eyes were practically swollen shut. He looked scared, almost petrified. His face was as white as the porcelain toilet he was bent over.
“What’s wrong? You sick?”
Kris sat back on his knees and grabbed his stomach, lurching forward. Eyeing the phone by his foot, Adam repeated himself as panic started to set in. “What’s wrong?” He reached down and grabbed the phone, placing it to his ear. “Who is this?”
“Adam…is that you?”
He didn’t recognize the woman’s voice. “Yeah, who is this?”
“Julianne.”
It only took his brain a second to realize it was Brian’s mother. Sitting down on the cold tile floor, he pulled Kris into his chest and wrapped one arm around him.
“Is Kris all right, dear? The phone went dead.”
“The phone didn’t go dead, he must have dropped it.” Moving the phone away from his ear, Adam whispered into Kris’s ear, “Are you okay?”
When Kris finally nodded, he put the phone back to his ear. “What’s going on? I was outside for a second and when I came back in, he was puking.”
“Is he all right now?”
“He says he is.”
Hearing Julianne sigh heavily into the phone, he patiently waited for some type of explanation as to why Kris had taken a turn for the worse.
“I knew I should’ve told him in person. I didn’t want to tell him over the phone but his mother wasn’t sure of the directions to your place there.”
“Tell him what, Julianne?” There was a long moment of silence where Adam’s patience grew thinner. “Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on? Why is Kris puking in the toilet?”
Julianne’s voice grew faint. “Maybe I should let Bill tell you.”
“Tell me what?!” Adam yelled into the phone, immediately regretting it. He had no business yelling at this woman but at the same time, he was beginning to get downright scared. Kris was literally shaking. “Are you sure you’re all right?” he questioned, squeezing Kris tighter.
“Adam, it’s Bill.” His voice was soft, yet firm.
“Bill, could you please tell me what’s going on?”
“We’re not sure ourselves at this point but we just received a phone call from the government.”
Adam’s stomach turned. “The government?”
“Yes, Adam,” Bill said, taking a deep breath. “Apparently, they’ve just found out that there were thirteen POWs and while they can neither confirm nor deny yet who these thirteen POWs are…they have reason to believe that Brian very well could be one of them.”
“POWs?” Adam repeated, his stomach in complete knots.
Kris’s head slightly turned. “Prisoners of war,” he barely whispered.
Adam was stunned into silence. Adam knew what POW stood for, but hearing the words come out of Kris’s mouth almost knocked the wind right out of him.
“Julianne expressed her concern to Kris about getting his hopes up, she feels…”
Adam interjected quickly, “Then why’d you call if you didn’t want him to get his hopes up? Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you said anything.”
The sound of Bill clearing his throat and sighing was enough evidence to Adam that he wasn’t impressed by his remark.
“Adam…they asked us to call Kris. They couldn’t get a hold of him at the number they had on Brian’s file so they called us.”
Brian? POW? Adam had to gasp for air. His whole life was starting to unravel in front of him and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. He felt completely vulnerable sitting there. Kris’s late husband might not be so “late” now and it made him almost want to puke himself. He cleared his throat, trying to steady his shaken voice. “But…but…he’s buried over at that military cemetery.” He paused momentarily trying to remember the name of the cemetery. “I don’t…don’t understand…I saw his grave.”
“Adam,” Bill said calmly. “They never recovered any of the twenty-six bodies from that explosion…ever. What you saw was just a standard military headstone that the government provided. There were never any bodies to bury.”
Adam felt like he’d been sucker punched a good twenty times in the gut. Kris had never mentioned anything about that to him. Of course, he never asked either. During the moment or two of silence that followed Bill’s announcement, it all started to make sense to him. Of course they never recovered any bodies…it was an explosion.
No wonder his husband had such a hard time letting go…there was never really any closure without a body.
“On Monday morning, the POWs will be flying into Los Angeles Air Force Base. They’ve asked us to all be there,” Bill said firmly. “That includes Kris. The scheduled arrival time is eleven in the morning.”
Adam closed his eyes. This couldn’t be happening. There was no possible way on earth that this could be happening. Yet, it was happening and it was possible.
“We’d like to pick Kris up on Monday morning if that’s okay with the both of you. We thought that we could head over there together. Julianne’s pretty upset about all of this as well, as I’m sure you can understand, so I think it would be a good idea for us to be together during this difficult time.”
“Sure,” Adam replied almost unconsciously. What else could he say? Just getting one word out was a miracle in itself.
“Of course, whether you’d like to be there or not is strictly up to you and Kris, but we’d be glad to take you with us as well.”
“Sure,” he repeated again. “I’ll be coming.”
“Did you want to discuss that with Kris first?”
Adam’s eyes narrowed, snapping himself out of his dream-like state. “That won’t be necessary, Bill. He’ll want me with him and I wouldn’t think of letting him go through this alone.”
“Fine,” Bill replied quickly. “You’ll need to give me directions on how to get to your place.”
“I’ll call you back later.”
Adam hung up and immediately dropped the phone against the tile on the floor, producing a noise loud enough to snap Kris out of his trance. When he turned around, Adam immediately noticed how labored and quick his breaths were, his chest pronouncing each one.
He became aware of his own breathing at that point and quickly determined that his breathing was even more labored.
“We should probably get going,” Kris said quietly. “I’m sorry about making us late. I know that you wanted to be on the road by now.”
Adam’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?” When Kris didn’t answer him, he blew out a breath and shook his head. “We aren’t going.”
“But your mom’s expecting us, Adam.”
“I don’t care,” he stated, reaching for the phone again. “Do you really think we’d even be good company after what just happened?”
Kris’s head dropped.
“Exactly.” Punching in Leila’s numbers, he waited patiently for someone to answer. He was surprised that he even had any patience left at this point. “Mom…hey. Listen, something came up here and we’re not going to be able to make it this weekend. I’ll give you a call next week and maybe we can schedule something then.”
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Beta:
bigj52 . Thanks for your patience and continuous support.Summary: Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.
Chapter Nineteen
“Wake up, sleepy head!” Adam sat down on the bed and instantly started bouncing around to rouse his husband from his deep sleep.
“What?” Kris said, pulling the covers over his head. “It’s not time to wake up yet.”
He cleared his throat. “Honey…it’s almost noon.”
“What,” Kris sat up straight and rubbed his eyes. “Why the hell did you let me sleep so long?”
Adam shrugged. “I wore you out last night so I thought I’d let you sleep it off.”
“Very funny.”
Adam leaned in and kissed him. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.”
Kris moaned, lapping his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “I’m tired.”
“Come on,” Adam urged, pushing on the bed. “We have a busy day ahead of us.”
“Busy?” Kris asked, moaning even louder. “Why?”
“We need to go grocery shopping and baby furniture shopping.”
Kris’s head swung around, his eyes gaping wide. “Baby furniture? What in hell for? You trying to tell me something you should’ve told me before we got married?”
Adam laughed, grabbing Kris’s hand and pulling him up and off the bed. “I had this dream last night…about a baby…and somehow I knew he was ours. I woke up and was so disappointed it was just a dream.”
Kris stopped walking towards the bathroom when he heard that. Turning around, he cocked his head to the side. “We can make that dream come true.”
“We can?” Adam asked, falling back to the bed and lying back. “Then we need to talk about this. I want babies…and we’re not getting any younger here.”
Kris walked up to Adam and stood between his legs that were dangling off the bed. “You want babies that bad, huh?” Kris waited until Adam nodded his head and then jumped on top of him. “Cool…then let’s have babies.”
“Really?”
“Yeah really…” Kris said, covering his hand with his mouth before he leaned down and kissed Adam’s chin. “I’m pretty sure my breath would knock you out.”
“I don’t care,” Adam said, pulling Kris’s hand off his mouth. “And by the way, when did you move some of your stuff over here? This morning, I noticed that my closet was considerably less organized then when I left for New York. I also noticed that there are plaid shirts in the closet now and I also took note of the antique sofa downstairs.” Smiling, he wiggled his eyebrows. “Is there something you forgot to tell me?”
Kris smiled back at his wonderful husband. Adam looked pretty damn cute lying there on the bed; his hair sprawled out on the sides of his head and the stubble that was taking over his face. “You’re hot…you know that?”
Adam winked. “So I’ve been told. Now stop avoiding my question and ‘fess up, boy. Did you or did you not move in with me?”
“Maybe,” Kris said, shrugging his shoulders.
“You little shit,” Adam moaned, sitting up and grabbing Kris by the waist. Pulling him down to the bed, Adam rolled over to his side. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was gonna tell you when I was in New York but I hardly even saw you. You’re not mad, are you?”
“Mad?” Adam questioned, giving Kris a lop-sided grin. “Mad that my husband finally decided that he wanted to live with me?” He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. “I don’t think so.”
“Good.” Kris looked up at him and bit his bottom lip. “Because I think there’s something else that I should probably fill you in on too.”
“Uh oh.” Adam’s finger ran along Kris’s lips. “You’re biting your lip…this can’t be good.”
Kris scrunched up his face and closed his eyes tightly. “I quit my job.”
“What?”
Kris opened his eyes and immediately noticed the concern on Adam’s face. “I quit my job and before you say anything…don’t worry, I have a little money set aside for me to live on for a year and once the sale of the house goes through with Daniel…I’ll have another $100,000 or so.” He dropped his head to Adam’s side, burying it inside the mattress.
Adam’s head lurched forward. “You sold your house to Daniel for $100,000?”
“Well…not exactly,” Kris admitted through a tight-lipped grin. “More like $92,000.” He cringed, pushing his head further into the mattress.
“$92,000?” Adam repeated loudly.
“Yeah,” Kris whispered quietly, lifting his head to look at Adam. “I know the house was worth a little more. When I refinanced last year it was appraised for $165,000 but I didn’t feel right charging him that because he’s my brother and everything so we settled on $92,000.”
Adam’s eyes narrowed.
“So between my savings of $18,000 and the house, I’ll have enough to live on for at least a couple years without having to work.”
Adam sat up on the bed and rubbed his eyes. “You can live on a little over $100,000 for a couple years?”
“More like five at least.”
Removing his hands, Adam looked at Kris. After Kris nodded, he blew out a breath. “Hot damn, boy…I should’ve found you sooner…I didn’t know men like you existed.”
Kris sat up slightly and punched Adam in the gut.
“Hey!”
“So you’re not mad?”
Adam laughed, shaking his head. “No, I’m not mad…why would I be mad? Daniel should be the one who’s mad, not me.”
Kris sat up completely and pulled his knees up to his chest. “Why would Daniel be mad?”
Adam jumped up off the bed, laughing loudly along the way. “Because you’re married to someone who can more than afford to support you.”
“I don’t want you to support me, Adam. You knew that going into this marriage too. The only reason why I quit my job was because they needed me to be on the summer camp with kids, and that way I wouldn’t be able to spend time with you when you’re away from home.” Dropping his head to his knees, he looked at Adam carefully. “I only did this because I can’t stomach the thought of you going away on tour and me not being able to see you.”
“Honey,” Adam said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “It’s not like I won’t be able to come home from time to time.”
“That isn’t enough for me, Adam,” Kris huffed. “I don’t want to be away from you for days, weeks or months on end. That isn’t how a marriage is supposed to be. People grow apart when crap like that happens. Out of sight, out of mind.”
“Kris,” Adam softly said, running his hand through Kris’s hair. “Just because that happened with Katy and Cale doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen to us. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I do.” Kris looked at him with sadness in his eyes. “But it still scares me.”
Adam leaned over and kissed his head, pulling Kris into his arms. “You don’t have anything to be scared of. It’s not gonna happen with us. And by the way, how are they doing?”
Kris shrugged, feeling the sadness for his friends in his heart. “They’re still going to counseling but so far, nothing’s changed. Cale’s still at his parents’ place.” Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly. “I hope to God they can work things out.”
“Yeah,” Adam whispered. “Me too.”
“So you’re okay with all of this?” Kris looked up at Adam, pulling back slightly to see his reaction.
“I’m okay with it…as long as you’re okay with it.” Adam looked at him seriously, his eyes staying glued to Kris’s. “I don’t want you to end up resenting me down the road though because you’re no longer working. I know how much you loved your job, honey.”
“I love you more.”
Adam smiled. “And this house thing with Daniel. When’s the closing?”
Kris shrugged. “Won't know for a couple weeks yet.”
“Is it too late to change the price of the house?”
Kris shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, you need to call up and find out.” He stood up and made his way into the adjoining walk-in closet. “You don’t need the money…we don’t need the money.”
“I can’t just give him the house, honey…he is too proud.”
“Fine,” Adam yelled. “At least lower the price by half, sweetheart, it’s the least we could do.”
Kris jumped up from the bed and walked into the closet, to see his husband re-arranging the clothes that were hung next to his. “You don’t have to do that, you know. This isn’t your family…it’s mine.”
Adam stopped and turned around. “And what’s yours is mine, babe. And yes…they are my family now…so don’t argue with me, just get your ass over here and help me clean up this closet.”
“There’s nothing to clean!”
Adam shook his head and dropped his shoulders. “Did I forget to mention to you how much of a clean freak I am?”
“Yeah, I think you did.”
“I’m a clean freak, and I love my clothes, so get used to it.” Adam took Kris’s shoes that were thrown into the corner of the closet and swept them up in one big swoop, throwing them into the center of the closet. “And that goes for my tour bus too. I’m especially a freak when it comes to that. I can’t stand clutter on that thing. It’s way too small to have any type of clutter visible to the naked eye.”
Kris dropped to his knees. “Are you for real?” He picked up his black Converse and threw it back into the corner of the closet.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“Putting my shoes back where they were.”
“You need to put your shoes where they belong,” Adam stated, pointing to the shoe shelf along the end of the closet space. “In there, with the rest of them.”
“There is hardly any room in that damn thing,” Kris huffed, frowning.
Adam laughed, pointing to Kris’s shoes in a pile. “You hardly have any shoes, so we’re all set.”
“Hmphh…” Kris shot back, standing to his feet. “We’ll just see about that, buddy. Once I get my $50,000 from the sale of the house…I’ll be more than willing to buy myself a couple hundred more pairs.”
“Ah shit,” Adam moaned, pulling Kris into a hug. “If that’s how you want to spend your money, go right ahead. I’m not about to stop you.” He kissed Kris passionately, running his hands along his backside slowly. “But promise me you’ll get something other than Converse and Cons.”
Kris laughed, patting Adam on the butt. “I’ll need some sex toys too.”
Adam’s lips made a path to his ear. “That sounds promising.”
“Sure does, doesn’t it?” Kris reached around the front of Adam’s jeans and cupped his crotch. “Should do that before the babies are here.”
“Yeah…when can we start working on that anyway?”
Kris scratched his head; trying to remember the articles he had read about adoption. Should they try surrogacy first? “I think we should talk to someone about this first, see what our options are. This could take months.”
“Months?” Adam whined.
Kris dropped back down to his knees and began sorting out his shoes. “It’ll fly by, honey. Now…” he trailed, handing Adam the first pair of shoes. “You want these shoes in the right spot; you need to help me put them there.”
Adam smiled down at Kris, wiggling his eyebrows excitedly. “While you’re down there…”
Kris smiled back up at him and wiggled his index finger at Adam. “Come a little closer, sir.”
Adam threw the pair of shoes over his shoulder. “To hell with the shoes.”
“That’s what I thought,” Kris laughed, shaking his head. “You’re a little too easy to play with, Lambert. Is this all it’s gonna take for me to get out of keeping a clean house?”
“That might just work.”
________________________________________
When the last of the bags were loaded into the truck, Adam slammed down the back hatch and looked at his husband questionably. “That is it, right?” He peered into the window through the back hatch and shook his head. There were four suitcases along with two duffel bags, three pillows and two bags of goodies to snack on.
“Yes,” Kris replied scornfully. “And from what I could see, you packed just as much as I did only you stuffed your one suitcase fuller than I did any of mine.”
“Maybe,” Adam replied with a smirk. Walking over to Kris, he threw his arm up and around, heading them both towards the house. “Have I told you in the last month how much I’ve enjoyed being home with you?”
“Only a hundred times a day, sweetie.”
“That’s what I thought.” Opening the front door, he allowed Kris to go in first. “I’m just gonna go grab the cooler from the kitchen, so better hit the potty now and then we’ll be off.” Picking the cooler up off the floor, he winced. “Shit, Kris…how much shit did you pack into this damn thing?”
“WHAT?”
“Never mind,” he mumbled, opening the lid to the cooler. He searched through the mess to try and figure out why the damn thing was so heavy. Item by item, he went through the cooler. Ten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, ten cans of soda, six water bottles, fifteen oranges, ten apples, sixteen slices of American cheese, twelve mozzarella string cheese sticks, one bag of Oreo cookies, and two bags of candy bars.
If it weren’t for the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, he would’ve been upset at how much food Kris packed. He packed enough food for a three-day drive, not a six-hour drive. They were merely headed to his mom’s in San Francisco for a visit.
Hearing the phone ring, he started towards it but stopped once he realized that Kris had gotten it. Walking back to the cooler, he strategically re-arranged the placement of all the items once he started placing them back in, leaving out the two bags of candy bars and sixteen slices of American cheese.
Adam laughed while placing the cheese back into the fridge. What was Kris thinking? Who packed American cheese slices for a drive?
Closing the cooler, he lifted it up and carried it out to the truck. Once that was accomplished, he checked all the air pressure in the tires just to be safe. Looking back towards the front door, he frowned.
What was taking Kris so long?
Opening the hood of the truck, he checked the oil to stall for time and then slammed the hood closed. “Come on, Kris…let’s go,” he mumbled under his breath, walking to the front door of the house.
Pushing the door open, he stepped in. “COME ON!”
When he didn’t get any reply, he kicked off his shoes and walked down the hallway in a huff. Kris knew he wanted to be on the road ten minutes ago. They had a schedule to keep. Stopping for a moment to admire their wedding photo that hung on the wall, he traced the frame with his fingers.
It was a beautiful picture…
A treasured moment in time…
Smiling, he continued on his way and told himself not to be so impatient. It wasn’t like his mom was going anywhere. He made his way into the master bedroom and headed straight for the bathroom, knocking once when he reached his destination. “Honey…you still in there?”
When he heard the undeniable sound of gagging, he turned the handle on the door to find that it was locked. “Open the door!” Knowing the distinct difference between gagging and actual vomiting, he began to panic when he realized that it wasn’t just gagging he heard. He took his foot and kicked the door open in two tries. “What’s going on?” he questioned, taking a deep breath.
His eyes flew to the floor where Kris was slumped over the toilet, heaving. Slowly, Kris’s head turned towards him. And in that exact instant, Adam knew that something was terribly wrong.
Kris’s eyes were practically swollen shut. He looked scared, almost petrified. His face was as white as the porcelain toilet he was bent over.
“What’s wrong? You sick?”
Kris sat back on his knees and grabbed his stomach, lurching forward. Eyeing the phone by his foot, Adam repeated himself as panic started to set in. “What’s wrong?” He reached down and grabbed the phone, placing it to his ear. “Who is this?”
“Adam…is that you?”
He didn’t recognize the woman’s voice. “Yeah, who is this?”
“Julianne.”
It only took his brain a second to realize it was Brian’s mother. Sitting down on the cold tile floor, he pulled Kris into his chest and wrapped one arm around him.
“Is Kris all right, dear? The phone went dead.”
“The phone didn’t go dead, he must have dropped it.” Moving the phone away from his ear, Adam whispered into Kris’s ear, “Are you okay?”
When Kris finally nodded, he put the phone back to his ear. “What’s going on? I was outside for a second and when I came back in, he was puking.”
“Is he all right now?”
“He says he is.”
Hearing Julianne sigh heavily into the phone, he patiently waited for some type of explanation as to why Kris had taken a turn for the worse.
“I knew I should’ve told him in person. I didn’t want to tell him over the phone but his mother wasn’t sure of the directions to your place there.”
“Tell him what, Julianne?” There was a long moment of silence where Adam’s patience grew thinner. “Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on? Why is Kris puking in the toilet?”
Julianne’s voice grew faint. “Maybe I should let Bill tell you.”
“Tell me what?!” Adam yelled into the phone, immediately regretting it. He had no business yelling at this woman but at the same time, he was beginning to get downright scared. Kris was literally shaking. “Are you sure you’re all right?” he questioned, squeezing Kris tighter.
“Adam, it’s Bill.” His voice was soft, yet firm.
“Bill, could you please tell me what’s going on?”
“We’re not sure ourselves at this point but we just received a phone call from the government.”
Adam’s stomach turned. “The government?”
“Yes, Adam,” Bill said, taking a deep breath. “Apparently, they’ve just found out that there were thirteen POWs and while they can neither confirm nor deny yet who these thirteen POWs are…they have reason to believe that Brian very well could be one of them.”
“POWs?” Adam repeated, his stomach in complete knots.
Kris’s head slightly turned. “Prisoners of war,” he barely whispered.
Adam was stunned into silence. Adam knew what POW stood for, but hearing the words come out of Kris’s mouth almost knocked the wind right out of him.
“Julianne expressed her concern to Kris about getting his hopes up, she feels…”
Adam interjected quickly, “Then why’d you call if you didn’t want him to get his hopes up? Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you said anything.”
The sound of Bill clearing his throat and sighing was enough evidence to Adam that he wasn’t impressed by his remark.
“Adam…they asked us to call Kris. They couldn’t get a hold of him at the number they had on Brian’s file so they called us.”
Brian? POW? Adam had to gasp for air. His whole life was starting to unravel in front of him and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. He felt completely vulnerable sitting there. Kris’s late husband might not be so “late” now and it made him almost want to puke himself. He cleared his throat, trying to steady his shaken voice. “But…but…he’s buried over at that military cemetery.” He paused momentarily trying to remember the name of the cemetery. “I don’t…don’t understand…I saw his grave.”
“Adam,” Bill said calmly. “They never recovered any of the twenty-six bodies from that explosion…ever. What you saw was just a standard military headstone that the government provided. There were never any bodies to bury.”
Adam felt like he’d been sucker punched a good twenty times in the gut. Kris had never mentioned anything about that to him. Of course, he never asked either. During the moment or two of silence that followed Bill’s announcement, it all started to make sense to him. Of course they never recovered any bodies…it was an explosion.
No wonder his husband had such a hard time letting go…there was never really any closure without a body.
“On Monday morning, the POWs will be flying into Los Angeles Air Force Base. They’ve asked us to all be there,” Bill said firmly. “That includes Kris. The scheduled arrival time is eleven in the morning.”
Adam closed his eyes. This couldn’t be happening. There was no possible way on earth that this could be happening. Yet, it was happening and it was possible.
“We’d like to pick Kris up on Monday morning if that’s okay with the both of you. We thought that we could head over there together. Julianne’s pretty upset about all of this as well, as I’m sure you can understand, so I think it would be a good idea for us to be together during this difficult time.”
“Sure,” Adam replied almost unconsciously. What else could he say? Just getting one word out was a miracle in itself.
“Of course, whether you’d like to be there or not is strictly up to you and Kris, but we’d be glad to take you with us as well.”
“Sure,” he repeated again. “I’ll be coming.”
“Did you want to discuss that with Kris first?”
Adam’s eyes narrowed, snapping himself out of his dream-like state. “That won’t be necessary, Bill. He’ll want me with him and I wouldn’t think of letting him go through this alone.”
“Fine,” Bill replied quickly. “You’ll need to give me directions on how to get to your place.”
“I’ll call you back later.”
Adam hung up and immediately dropped the phone against the tile on the floor, producing a noise loud enough to snap Kris out of his trance. When he turned around, Adam immediately noticed how labored and quick his breaths were, his chest pronouncing each one.
He became aware of his own breathing at that point and quickly determined that his breathing was even more labored.
“We should probably get going,” Kris said quietly. “I’m sorry about making us late. I know that you wanted to be on the road by now.”
Adam’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?” When Kris didn’t answer him, he blew out a breath and shook his head. “We aren’t going.”
“But your mom’s expecting us, Adam.”
“I don’t care,” he stated, reaching for the phone again. “Do you really think we’d even be good company after what just happened?”
Kris’s head dropped.
“Exactly.” Punching in Leila’s numbers, he waited patiently for someone to answer. He was surprised that he even had any patience left at this point. “Mom…hey. Listen, something came up here and we’re not going to be able to make it this weekend. I’ll give you a call next week and maybe we can schedule something then.”
