Can't Let You Go - Chapter Twenty-Three
Aug. 7th, 2011 08:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
something_rareTitle: Can't Let You Go - Chapter Twenty-Three
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Beta:![[info]](https://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=3)
bigj52 . Thanks for your patience and continuous support.
Summary: Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Adam moaned, grabbing the back of his neck with his hand. He hated sleeping on the couch. He was getting too old for that shit. Not only that, but he hated sleeping on the couch when his husband was only feet away from him in a warm bed. Adding that all up, apart from the fact that this was not the first time he’d had to sleep on the couch in the last week, he was pretty bent out of shape.
Hearing the shower turn on in the bathroom, he sighed. At least Kris was still here in the apartment. That had to be a good sign, right? Trying to block out the sunlight that was coming through the window, he covered his hands with his eyes and flipped to his stomach, burying his face in the couch cushion.
Not even so much as a pillow.
What the hell was happening with them? He felt as if his whole marriage was crumbling down around him and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it but sit there and watch. Or was there?
Adam sat up quickly on the couch as a wave of realization washed over him. There was something he could do about it. He could fight. Fight for the man he loved. Fight like he’d never fought before.
Jumping to his feet, he marched right over to the bathroom and threw the door open. Fully expecting to find his husband in the shower, he jumped back when he saw him clad only in a white sleeveless tank top and his boxers, sitting on the toilet seat cover, bent over with his face in his hands and crying his eyes out. The steam was so thick from the shower that for a minute he had a hard time catching his breath.
He shut the door behind him, walked over to Kris and stood directly in front of him. When Kris finally lifted his head, he wrapped his arms around Adam’s waist. He stepped closer to Kris, allowing him to bury his face into his stomach.
They stood this way for a few minutes, without saying a word.
Slowly, Adam reached down and pulled Kris into a standing position. Taking his arms, he lifted them above Kris’s head and left them there while his hands traveled down Kris’s sides, settling on his stomach. Adam grabbed his tank top and slowly pulled it up, running his hands along the bare skin underneath.
Kris’s eyes settled on his as Adam pulled his tank top up and off. Adam threw his top to the floor and then suddenly found his own arms being lifted above his head. Kris’s eyes stayed focused on his husband’s as he pulled Adam’s shirt up, running his hands along his chest. When it became obvious that he couldn’t reach high enough, Adam took the final step in pulling off his shirt, throwing it to the floor as well.
By this point, the sexual tension between them was apparent to both of them and the steam from the shower only intensified the desire that was gaining momentum.
Dropping his hands to Kris’s neck, Adam pulled his husband in close and slowly brought their lips close. He lingered there for a few moments, increasing the want between them both. And when he finally placed his lips on Kris’s, Kris’s moan was so intense that it almost caused Adam to find his release.
With careful deliberation and crafted expertise, he devoured Kris. His hands settled on the base of Kris’s neck, pulling his hair.
After several minutes, his hands started making their way down Kris’s back, kneading the skin beneath them. It was hot and raw…and something totally unplanned which made it all the better.
Kris felt good. His body felt like it was on fire. Hot and sweaty…just the way Adam wanted it. Running his fingers along the waistband of Kris’s boxers, Adam’s hand slid in and cupped Kris’s bottom, pulling him closer.
Nothing was better than skin-on-skin contact.
The sounds that were coming out of Kris were driving him to the brink of insanity. They were deep, sexual moans and whimpers that egged him on and almost pushed him over the edge time and time again.
Kris’s hands left the safety of Adam’s neck and traveled down his chest. His fingers circled Adam’s nipples, running gently over them every so often before settling on his back, where he dug his nails in and squeezed with his hands.
The sounds that were coming out of Adam’s lips took him by surprise. They sounded almost identical to the sounds he was making. Together, their moans and groans were so loud that Adam began to wonder if the people in the next apartment over could hear them…and just the thought of someone else listening in made him even harder.
Their lips and tongues were running wild over each other’s faces, only occasionally meeting up to enjoy the warmth.
When Adam finally couldn’t take the torment any longer, he stepped back and quickly removed Kris’s boxers in a few seconds flat. And when he went to pull Kris in close again, Kris stepped back and returned the favor with his. Only, he didn’t come up nearly as fast as what Adam did.
Instead, he lingered down around Adam’s erection, taking it in his hands and slowly bringing it up to his mouth. Adam glanced down and moaned, taking in the sight of his husband on his knees. It was a beautiful sight and for Kris to honestly think that he’d ever want to be with someone else almost made him laugh out loud and ruin the moment.
Kris was the one he wanted…
There would be no substitute for the real thing.
When Kris’s lips wrapped around his length, his hands reached down and fisted Kris’s hair. His deep moans intensified as Kris deep-throated him, only coming up occasionally to catch his breath.
Adam closed his eyes after a few minutes, trying desperately to regain his composure and get control of the situation. But it was too late. He was too far gone. Opening his eyes, he looked down and swore. He knew if continued to watch Kris, it be over in no time flat.
But as hard as he tried, he just couldn’t look away.
Holding Kris’s head in place, he thrust deep inside his mouth a few last times, before pulling out and finding his own release. He tried his best to keep his eyes open and watch as his husband opened his mouth, taking in some of his ejaculate. His tongue reached out and ran along Adam’s length as he continued to pour some of his seed down Kris’s throat and onto his face.
It was an orgasm that Adam’d never forget and just when he was finally coming back down to earth, he saw Kris run his hands along his cheeks, smearing what was on his face and then licking each finger individually before standing up.
“Oh God…you’re incredible,” Adam moaned, cupping Kris’s bottom. Slowly, he lifted Kris up and placed him on the counter, next to the sink. Spreading his legs, Adam placed one foot on the towel bar and Kris’s other foot over his shoulder. Nothing else was said as he dove straight down to pleasure Kris.
When Kris felt Adam’s breath, he gripped Adam’s hair and pushed his face closer to his hole. It felt like he was trying to push Adam completely in…like he couldn’t get enough of Adam. “Your fingers…” he hoarsely demanded. “I want your fingers.”
Adam brought his hand up and slightly moved out of the way for his fingers and wet them to work along with his tongue. He didn’t even bother with one. Instead, he slid two fingers in and groaned at how easily Kris accommodated him.
It didn’t take Kris long to start bucking his hips as much as he could. He was hard as a rock and desperate to find his own release. Pulling him down off the counter, he groaned to show his disappointment. Adam smiled and turned him around, leaning him over the counter.
His hands immediately reached around to find Kris’s nipples, but it was obvious that it wasn’t what Kris wanted. What he wanted was Adam, inside him…not outside him. And Adam was always one to give his man what he wanted.
Reaching down, his hands slid between Adam’s thighs and easily made their way inside him. Two and then three fingers quickly thrust in and out, while Kris’s own body fell into the same rhythm.
Adam smiled to himself when he noticed his erection growing up and pointing towards Kris’s body. In all his years, he was never able to make a comeback at such a rapid pace, but today…his body didn’t let him down. After all, this was his husband and he didn’t doubt for one minute that his body wouldn’t respond to the sight he was looking at.
Grabbing a condom and a hold of himself, he put it on, squeezed enough lube on and ran his hand along his length for a minute, helping it along. Once he was sure it was hard enough, he pulled Kris back and guided himself inside.
“God…” Kris moaned, throwing his head back and ramming his backside into Adam at an alarming pace and force.
Adam leaned in and reached his hand around, grabbing hold of Kris.
“God…” Kris moaned again, holding completely still. “I am sooo close…”
“What are you waiting for then?” Adam asked.
“I don’t want it to end yet.”
Adam smiled, removing his hand and bringing it back to Kris’s bottom. “No problem…by the time I get done with you, you’ll be begging me.”
“God…” Kris moaned, throwing his head back. “Don’t say things like that or it will be over.”
Watching Kris squirm with desire only intensified Adam’s desire. And every time Kris backed up, Adam pulled back as well, only letting Kris have him full tilt when he wanted. Kris’s moans and noises were all he needed to gauge just how close he was.
Adam let his hands run along Kris’s back, thighs, bottom and chest. The sweat along with the moisture from the shower was adding to the pleasure. His hands would just glide along, stopping only when he deliberately made them stop. It was like Kris’s whole body was lubricated just from him…just because of him.
Occasionally, Adam would drop his head and run his tongue along Kris’s back, making him squirm even more. Nibbling here and there, Kris stood on his tippy toes, arching his back and desperately trying to entice Adam to pound himself into him. Adam would oblige for a few seconds here and there, but not long enough to satisfy Kris. And when Adam noticed Kris’s hand drop to between his legs, he reached down and pulled it back up. “Oh no, you don’t,” Adam said, pulling out of him completely.
Instead of protesting, Kris simply flew around and dropped to his knees, taking Adam into his glorious mouth again.
“Oh…trying to entice me?” Adam asked, closing his eyes and saying a silent prayer.
“Is it working?” Kris asked, running his tongue along the tip.
“Oh…yeah…” Adam barely whispered. After a few moments of Kris’s sweet torture, Adam demanded that he stand back up and turn around.
Kris obeyed quickly. Adam admired that but also knew why he obeyed so quickly…Kris wanted it just as much as he did.
So Adam gave it to him. Hard.
Feeling Kris tighten around him, Adam found his own release, followed by Kris. There was no way Adam could have held back even if he had wanted to. Kris’s moans were more than he needed.
When their breathing became more stable, he pulled out and went limp against Kris’s back, which caused him to moan loudly in protest of the extra weight. “Oh God…I need to lie down.”
“No kidding,” Adam mumbled back, dropping to the bathroom floor.
“I didn’t mean here,” Kris whispered, letting out a little laugh.
“You go ahead.” Adam closed his eyes and waived Kris away. “I’ll join you in a few.”
Kris reached into the shower and turned it off. “You’d better get up now while you still can…or else you’ll be napping on the cold, tiled floor for the next hour.”
Adam moaned and groaned, rubbing his eyes and pushing his drenched hair out of the way. “Yeah…yeah…I’m coming.”
“Again?”
Adam’s eyes flew open while his lips turned up in a smile. “Very funny…I’m not young enough to try for a third time.”
“You sure?” Kris asked sweetly.
“Positive,” Adam confirmed, reaching down and grabbing hold of himself. Letting his penis go, it dropped back against his body quickly. “Oh yeah…that guy ain’t about to perform any tricks for a while.”
________________________________________
The warmth of the sun and smoothness of Kris’s skin made Adam smile. The spa’s pool was virtually empty, except for a handful of people. For a late Wednesday afternoon it wasn’t unusual that the spa wasn’t crowded.
After a busy three days of sightseeing and shopping, Adam was happy to just be sitting down. Leaning back against the chair, behind his hot husband and relaxing was the perfect way to end a perfect day.
And with only four days left before his busy schedule was to resume, Adam was savoring the moment of just having his husband to himself. In a mere four days, he’d be face to face with his band, and had to try his hardest to work on the last details of his album with the record label. It would be nothing short of a headache and one that he was pretty sure that would last for the entire duration of his stay.
Adam kneaded Kris’s shoulders and neck for a few more minutes before finally calling it quits. Pulling Kris back against his chest, he relaxed. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Kris whispered. “It’s too fancy for me. Reminds me of Cozumel and the moment we met.”
“Me too.”
“That was something,” Kris added, turning his head back slightly and smiling. “Remember when you asked me if I’d thought about sleeping with you?”
“Sure do,” Adam affirmed, smiling back. “And I also remember what your answer was.”
Kris simply smiled and turned back his head.
“Do you still feel the same way?”
“Yes.” Turning his head back around, Kris gazed into Adam’s eyes. “You know that.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, honey,” Kris quietly said, looking at the water. “These last two weeks have been pretty rough and honestly,” Adam trailed, watching as his husband inched his way forward and then turn around to face him. “I don’t know what’s going through your mind.”
“Nothing’s changed,” Kris replied flatly.
“Everything’s changed,” Adam countered sternly. “How can you even say that nothing’s changed?”
“Because it hasn’t.”
Adam shook his head at hearing the words, silently wondering whether or not Kris was just trying to fool him or if he was honestly fooled himself. “What’s going on with Brian?”
Kris’s head dropped quickly.
“I need to know what’s going on.” Adam brought his hand up to Kris’s chin and lifted his head. “I need to know where I stand. This isn’t affecting just you and Brian - it’s affecting me and you.”
“How is it affecting us?”
“Are you serious?” Adam questioned, dropping his hand. “Since the day he walked off that plane it has affected us.”
Kris leaned back. “The only person it’s affecting is Brian. It’s his life that’s been turned upside down.”
“It’s not only his life’s that’s been turned upside down,” Adam replied, trying to keep his cool. Looking directly into Kris’s eyes, he shook his head. “What about my life? Where do I fit into the equation?”
“God, Adam,” Kris moaned, looking away. “This isn’t about you.”
“Stop saying that it isn’t about me…because it is.” Adam took a deep breath. “Have you even told him that you’re married yet?”
Kris didn’t answer him.
“That’s what I thought,” Adam mumbled. “How did you explain this little vacation to him then?”
Again, Kris refrained from answering him.
“What the hell is going on, Kris?” Adam questioned, sitting up straight. “Does he honestly think that you stopped living for the past three years? Is he that stupid?”
“I don’t know what he thinks, Adam.” Sitting up straight as well, Kris buried his face into his hands. “We don’t talk about it.”
“Then what the hell do you talk about?”
“Everything and anything,” Kris mumbled into his hands.
Adam shook his head in disgust, watching his husband intensely. “Obviously you don’t talk about everything and anything,” he roughly stated. “Because if you did, he’d know that you’re married.”
“I’m afraid to tell him that!” Kris yelled, pulling his face out of his hands. “Okay? I’m afraid to tell him because I’m afraid it’ll set him back.”
Adam moaned loudly, shifting in his seat. “Don’t you think that it’ll be worse the longer you wait? More than likely, it’s going to set him back whenever you decide to tell him. Personally,” he trailed, lowering his voice. “I would think that it’d be better to tell him while he’s still having a hard time coping with all this than waiting until he’s better.”
“You don’t know him like I do though.”
“How well do you even know him anymore, Kris?”
Again, Kris buried his head in his hands.
Taking a moment to think things through clearly, Adam remained quiet for a few minutes. He didn’t want to fight but he also didn’t want to just sit back and remain silent. “Are you ever planning on telling him that you’re married?”
Kris’s head flung up. “Yes, I plan on telling him…when the time is right.”
“And what if the timing is never right?” he asked, standing to his feet. “Then what?”
Kris jumped to his feet and folded his arms in front of him.
“Eventually, he’s gonna find out,” Adam stated evenly. “It isn’t something you can hide forever.”
“No kidding,” Kris huffed, walking away. “Just let me handle it, okay?”
________________________________________
Once they were snuggled in bed, Adam’s mind wandered off. Brian wasn’t mentioned during the entire drive home or during their quick dinner that consisted of hotdogs and potato chips. Neither one was in the mood to dine out, thanks to the conversation spoiler at the spa.
Waiting until he heard Kris’s breaths deepen, he quietly snuck out of bed and made his way to the couch. Turning on the TV, he tried to keep himself occupied by channel surfing.
Even reruns of The Late Night Show, True Blood, Brothers and Sisters and The Office didn’t distract him from his previous thoughts…thoughts that consisted of Kris and Brian and what was happening between them.
Just what was happening there? Would he ever be able to get an honest answer?
Flipping to CNN, he stopped. Scooting to the edge of the couch, his eyes widened. It was a special report on the POW’s. And there amongst them, sat Brian Whitwam. Thanks to the names appearing under each picture, he knew exactly who it was.
He didn’t need to see the name.
He’d recognize him just about anywhere.
The first thing Adam took notice of was the fact that Brian had cleaned himself up. No longer did he look like someone who’d been held against his will for over a decade. His long hair was cut short and the only hair visible on his face was now in the form of a goatee. He looked much better and from what he could remember, Brian almost looked like he had in the wedding photo Adam had seen a while back. The only difference he could see were the dark bags and circles under his eyes that Brian now had.
From the sound of it, it looked like the report was just filmed, within the last couple of days. All survivors were sitting in one room and being interviewed simultaneously. Turning up the volume slightly, his head lurched forward so that he could hear the TV better.
For over thirty minutes, he sat and watched, waiting to hear what Brian had to say. His nerves were shot, his eyes were killing him and his head was pounding. Was it worth all this aggravation? Just to hear what this guy had to say?
Hell yes, it was.
“So that pretty much leaves me with only one more question then,” the reporter said. “How are you all coping and who is helping you cope?”
Adam listened as the men rambled on about their families, raving about how supportive and wonderful they had all been. And that’s when the guilt started setting in. Maybe he was being too selfish. All of those men looked confused, dazed and stressed, Brian included. And who could blame them? What they all went through was nothing short of a hellish nightmare.
“My parents have been wonderful,” Brian stated. “But my husband has been just as supportive, if not more.”
Adam’s head lurched forward even more. “Husband?” he mumbled, practically choking on his own tongue. Husband?
“Husband?” the reporter asked.
Brian shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I shouldn’t really call him that I guess. He was my husband when this nightmare happened three years ago…”
Adam turned off the TV and threw the remote down. He’d heard enough. Looking towards the bed, he could hear Kris mumbling.
He jumped to his feet and quickly made his way over to the bed, fully expecting to find Kris having some kind of nightmare. What he saw instead was his husband sitting up in bed and whispering into his cell phone.
Instead of retreating and letting Kris talk in private, Adam sat down on the edge of the bed and listened.
“Okay…fine…I’ll see what I can do, Julianne,” Kris said, staring directly at Adam. “I need to talk it over with Adam first though. I’ll call you in the morning.”
Kris handed the cell phone over to Adam and sighed. Adam placed the cell phone down on the nightstand and turned to face him.
“What’s going on?”
“How long have you been up watching TV?” Kris questioned.
“Long enough,” Adam shot back; irritated that Kris avoided his question. “What’d Julianne want?”
“She wants me to head home earlier if it’s okay with you.”
Adam stood to his feet and quickly started pacing the floor. “And if it’s not?”
“Adam…” Kris mumbled, using a tone between reprimanding him and consoling him. “Please…apparently CNN interviewed all the survivors and ever since then, Brian’s pretty much locked himself in his room, refusing to talk to anyone or even come out.”
Adam stopped pacing and walked over to the bed, placing his hands on his hips. “Then tell Bill and Julianne that they need to get their son a goddamn shrink…you’re not qualified to do a shrink’s job.”
“He is seeing a shrink, Adam,” Kris stated with reservation.
“Obviously, he isn’t seeing the shrink often enough.”
Kris lay down on the bed and rolled over, turning his back to Adam. “Fine, I’ll just tell Julianne that I couldn’t change the flight.”
“She’ll know you’re lying.”
Kris rolled over the other way and lifted his head slightly. “Okay then, I’ll tell her that it’s too expensive to change the flight itinerary.”
Adam sat down on the bed and let out a pent-up moan. “That won’t work either and you know it.”
“They don’t know what we can or can’t afford, Adam,” Kris stated clearly, dropping his head back to his pillow.
“God, please…don’t be so naive.” Adam lay down and pulled the covers up and over his face. “They aren’t stupid…they know damn well that we can afford it.”
Kris shot up straight. “Then what would you like me to tell them?”
Adam rolled over, unable to face Kris with the way he felt. He was ashamed of the way he felt. He should've felt sorry for Brian…with what he was going through and what he had gone through, only he didn't.
What happened to Brian was something he couldn’t comprehend, much less imagine. Losing your life and being presumed dead would destroy just about anyone. Throw the love of your life into the middle of it, and Adam was pretty sure any sane man would more than likely go insane. He knew he would. How would he feel if the situation were reversed?
Rolling back over, he pulled the covers off his face. “Tell them you’ll be on the first flight home in the morning.”
________________________________________
Walking up to the front door of Kris’s old place, Adam stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts. Kris had left that morning and shortly after, he had hopped on a flight and headed back to LA as well. He knew it was crazy, since in three days he’d be back in New York to work on the details with the record label, but at this particular time, what mattered to him most was apologizing to his husband.
When he drove Kris to the airport that morning, he wouldn’t even speak to Kris. Nor did he even wait at the airport with his husband.
Instead, Adam simply dropped Kris off at the door, retrieved his bags from the trunk and drove off. It was not something he was proud of either. In fact, he was so ashamed of his behavior that he couldn’t even bear the thought of just calling Kris and apologizing…he wanted to do it in person.
He was letting his emotions take control, instead of taking control of his emotions. He needed to get control. Desperately.
As far as he was concerned, gaining control of the entire situation started with Daniel. Once Brian came back into the picture, Kris had cancelled the closing on the home with the intention of rescheduling it down the road, when things settled down. The way Adam saw it, things were bound to be unsettled for quite some time and opting not to risk the chance of yet another disagreement by bringing up the touchy subject with Kris, Adam decided to take it up with Daniel. The way he saw it…they were down the road.
Besides, if he was lucky, maybe Daniel could shed some light on what was going on between Kris and Brian. Killing two birds with one stone sounded like a good idea to him.
Unfortunately, it was a Thursday and Adam knew the odds weren’t very good at finding someone home. Determined not to let that stop him though, he knocked on the door and waited patiently.
After a few brief moments, he turned to leave just as he heard the front door open. He stopped and stepped back, continuing to wait, watching as a dark-haired figure peeked around the door. “Kris…is that you?”
Kris stepped around the door quickly, catching his jeans on the edge of the door. Looking down, he reached for his jeans, yanking on them continuously until they were torn and finally free. Leaning in, his eyes grew as he returned his attention towards Adam. “What are you doing here?”
“You okay?” Adam asked, looking at Kris’s torn jeans. “Kind of impatient there, don’t you think?”
He bit his bottom lip and lowered his voice even more. “You’re supposed to be in New York.”
“Decided to head back for a few days,” Adam whispered back. “Why are we whispering anyway?” Laughing, he winked at Kris and smiled. “I was actually on my way home and decided to stop by and say hi to Daniel.” He opened the screen door and stepped into the house. “What’re you doing here?”
Kris’s mouth twitched. “He’s not home,” he whispered yet again.
“Doesn’t matter,” he stated, pulling Kris into his arms. “I flew home because I wanted to apologize and what’s with the whispering?”
Kris’s body tensed. “Apologize?”
“For the way I acted at the airport. It was uncalled for and I’m sorry,” Adam whispered in Kris’s ear. “Why are you so tense?” he asked, running his hands up and down Kris’s arms.
Quickly, Kris stepped back and pointed to the door. “Thanks for stopping by. I’ll let Daniel know and we’ll talk about…” he trailed, stopping when he heard his name being called from somewhere behind him.
“I thought you said Daniel wasn’t home,” Adam stated, looking around Kris and towards the kitchen.
“He’s not,” Kris replied hastily. “Go…please just go,” he pleaded.
In that instant, Adam knew exactly why Kris was pleading with him to go. There could only be one reason. Stepping towards Kris, Adam looked deep into his husband’s eyes. “What’s he doing here? I thought he was in seclusion.”
“Go…please Adam,’” Kris pleaded quietly again, placing his hand over his heart. “Please.”
“WHO IS IT, KRIS?”
Kris’s head flew back over his shoulder. “A friend of Daniel’s!” he yelled back to Brian.
When Kris looked back towards his husband, Adam stifled the gasp that wanted to escape. Kris’s eyes were indescribable; his face white as a ghost. Adam’d never seen him so scared in all the time that they’d known each other. He looked downright mortified.
“I’ll go,” Adam said softly, not wanting to upset Kris any further. Leaning over, Adam kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be at home.”
“HEY!”
Adam stopped short of stepping onto the porch and let the screen door close. Turning around slowly, he took a deep breath and did his best to smile. Noticing that Brian had his hand extended out to him, he held out his also. “Hi…you must be Brian.” Without hesitation, his eyes traveled over to his husband who was now looking completely and utterly sick to his stomach. “Well, tell Daniel that I stopped by.”
“He should be back in a few minutes,” Brian stated, sweeping his hand towards the couch. “Just hang out and wait…he just had to run and drop something off at work.” Walking towards the couch, he stopped, but didn’t turn around. “I’m sorry…I didn’t catch your name.”
Adam’s eyes darted over to his husband. He shrugged and mouthed a silent “sorry” before making his way behind Brian. He couldn’t just up and leave now. It wouldn’t look good. It didn’t help matters either that he was just a slight bit interested in checking out the man that had his husband’s heart for so long. “Adam Lambert.”
“Adam, I take it you already know Kris then?” Brian questioned, taking a seat on the couch.
Kris stepped into the conversation quickly by taking a seat next to Brian. “Oh yeah…Adam and I go way back…he’s been a friend of Daniel’s for a couple of years now.”
Adam took a seat in the chair next to the couch and listened as his husband nervously explained how he and Daniel knew each other. It was obvious how nervous Kris was by the sound of his voice and by the lengths he went at to cover his lies. His knee-jerk reaction by going into such detail was exactly what most people did when they lied. Kris was talking way too much and several times, Adam tried to interrupt him with no luck. If Kris wasn’t careful, he was going to blow it.
Brian’s eyes widened before he finally cleared his throat. “Did you want something to drink, Adam?”
Adam’s head lifted slightly, his throat dry. “Yeah…anything would be fine, thanks.”
Brian turned to Kris. “Could you grab us two beers, honey?”
Honey? Adam held back the emotion that was making its way to the top just by hearing Brian refer to Kris as honey. “Sit down, Kris,” he said. “I’ll get the beers.”
Brian placed his hand on Adam’s arm to stop him. “Nonsense…Kris doesn’t mind getting them, do you, honey?”
Adam’s heart took a dive hearing the term of endearment again.
“Oh, never mind,” Brian said, standing to his feet. “I’ll get the beers.”
When he cleared the room and was out of audible range, Adam turned his head to Kris. “He’s living here?”
Kris nodded.
“What in hell for? What happened to his parent’s place?”
Kris’s head slowly turned to him. “It’s his house, Adam.”
Adam scooted up on the chair and stretched his neck. “Is his name still on the documents?” he whispered sternly.
Kris lowered his voice and looked over his shoulder. “Of course not.”
“Then it’s not his house.” Adam sat back in his seat, dropping his head back against the chair and blowing out a long breath. So much for rescheduling the closing, there probably wouldn’t be a closing. Grabbing his head with both hands, he rubbed it, hoping to rub away all his problems. When that didn’t work, he opted just to leave. To hell with what did or didn’t look good, he couldn’t take the pressure.
Standing to his feet, he glanced down at Kris. “I’m gonna get going,” he stated before heading towards the door and running smack dab into Daniel who was trying to get in the house.
Daniel let go of the screen door and stopped in front of Adam. “Hey, Adam,” he said, kicking off his shoes. “What’s going on?”
“Oh…there you are, Daniel,” Brian said, walking back into the room with two beers. “Adam just stopped by see you.”
“Me?” Daniel questioned while pointing to himself. Laughing, he made his way into the room, grabbing a beer out of Brian’s hand and pointing to Kris. “I think you mean he stopped by to see his husband.”
Adam’s eyes flew open.
Kris’s head jerked up.
Brian’s head swung over to Kris.
Daniel gulped down a swig of beer and took a seat next to his brother.
“Isn’t that right, bro?” Daniel kidded, slugging Kris in the arm.
“Actually,” Adam said calmly, trying to jump right past what was just said. “I did stop by to say hi. It’s been a while since I’d seen you and I just happened to be in the neighborhood.” He cringed at the sound of his own voice. Even he could tell that he’d never win an Oscar with a performance like that. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Brian dropping to the couch. It was obvious by the look on his face that he’d heard Daniel’s comment. Deciding to bow out rather than risk a confrontation, Adam opened the screen door. “I’m gonna get going.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you were married?” Brian stated quietly. “For that matter, why the hell didn’t anyone tell me?”
Adam froze after hearing Brian’s question. He didn’t know what to do. Should he leave? Should he stay?
“Shit,” Daniel said. “I thought you’d already told him Kris.”
“He didn’t,” Brian spat. “Evidently, no one’s had the balls to say anything.”
Adam turned around and looked at his husband. He was standing up in front of the couch, completely still with his gaze directed towards the floor. Coming to his defense, Adam turned to Brian. “He didn’t say anything because he was afraid of what’d it do to you.”
Brian stood to his feet. “When were you gonna say something?”
Adam’s eyes darted back to Kris. He simply shrugged at Brian’s question and dropped his head again.
“Were you ever gonna tell me, Kris? Or were you gonna let me look like an ass forever?!”
His tone was demeaning, throwing Adam into defense mode. Taking a step towards them, he shook his head repeatedly. “Hey…wait a minute…”
“No, you wait a minute,” Brian interjected, waiving his hand in the air. “Let your husband answer my question.”
Again, Adam’s eyes darted back to his husband. He literally had to bite his bottom lip to keep from lashing out at Brian. He knew if he started though, he’d end up saying something he’d regret, causing more problems.
Kris lifted his head slowly, his eyes were wide and from what Adam could see, there were a few tears on the verge of trickling down his cheeks. “We just got married in November,” he whispered.
“You didn’t answer my question!”
Adam took another step forward. “You don’t need to raise your voice to him, Brian.”
Daniel jumped up from the couch, eyeing everyone. “Everybody needs to calm down.”
Brian’s head flew around. “Don’t tell me to calm down. I don’t need to calm down. What I need is for my husband to tell me when the hell he was going to get around to telling me about him!” he spat, pointing at Adam.
Adam let go of his bottom lip. He wasn’t about to let that statement go without saying something. No way, no how. “He’s not your husband any more, Brian,” Adam stated slowly, never letting his stare wander.
Brian’s head slowly turned towards him. “I don’t seem to recall getting a fucking divorce, Adam,” he growled. “It is Adam, right? Or was that a lie too, Kris?”
That about did it.
Adam quickly pulled out his wallet and yanked out the piece of paper he’d written some important information on. He was glad now that he hadn’t waited to do the research like he wanted to do. Unfolding the piece of paper, he cleared his throat loudly. “Remarriage after decree of presumed death…even though the absentee spouse declared to be presumed dead is in fact alive, the remarriage of the spouse who has obtained a license to marry and a decree of presumed death of the former spouse shall be valid for all purposes as though the former marriage had been terminated by divorce.”
The room fell eerily silent as Adam refolded his paper and stuffed it into the back pocket of his jeans.
“And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Brian inquired, stepping closer to Kris.
Daniel shrugged, turning to Brian slowly. “Sounds like you are divorced, buddy, whether you like it or not.”
Adam waited for Brian to hit Daniel. He knew he would have. It was a ballsy move on Daniel’s part, but a move he appreciated because it was the truth. Brian and Kris were no longer legally married. Period.
“I waited for you for years, Brian,” Kris said quietly, refusing to look up.
Hearing the words his husband whispered, Adam moved closer to Kris and drew him into his arms. He was hurting. Brian was hurting. Kris was hurting. Everyone was hurting.
“Obviously,” Brian said, turning back around to face him. “You didn’t wait long enough.”
Adam’s mouth dropped open as he stepped away from Kris and braced himself for a fight. “Are you serious?”
Brian swung his head around and shot Adam a dirty look.
“No one in his right mind would expect someone to wait forever,” Adam huffed, running his hand through his hair. “But then again, you’re not in your right mind, are you? For Christ’s sake, he thought you were dead.” His head jerked back. “You should be honored it took him as long as it did to move on with his life.”
Kris put his hand on Adam’s back. “Honey…you should go.”
“Yeah, Adam,” Brian added. “He’s right, you should go. I need to talk to him privately.”
Adam’s entire body became rigid with anger, tensing as the seconds passed by. “I’m not going anywhere. I leave when my husband leaves.”
“Adam…please…” Kris whispered.
He swung around quickly. “I am not about to let him try and guilt you into feeling bad that you moved on with your life and fell in love. You don’t need that.” He grabbed Kris’s hand and pulled his husband next to him. “And you and I know damn well that if I go, that’s what he’s gonna do.”
“Fine,” Kris said, removing his hand from Adam’s hold. “Let’s go.”
“You’re leaving?” Brian questioned, walking towards Kris. “We need to talk.”
“You’re done talking for now, Brian.” Adam watched as his husband grabbed his bag and walked to the front door. He waited until they stepped outside before glancing over his shoulder. “When you decide to grow up and act like a man, you can call Kris.”
“I’m not about to give up on him Adam,” Brian retaliated. “He loved me once.”
Adam froze with his hand on the door. Taking a deep breath, he turned around and blew it out. “You’d better be prepared for the fight of your life then, because I’m not giving him up without a fight.”
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Beta:
bigj52 . Thanks for your patience and continuous support.Summary: Nothing can beat true love, except...maybe another true love.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Adam moaned, grabbing the back of his neck with his hand. He hated sleeping on the couch. He was getting too old for that shit. Not only that, but he hated sleeping on the couch when his husband was only feet away from him in a warm bed. Adding that all up, apart from the fact that this was not the first time he’d had to sleep on the couch in the last week, he was pretty bent out of shape.
Hearing the shower turn on in the bathroom, he sighed. At least Kris was still here in the apartment. That had to be a good sign, right? Trying to block out the sunlight that was coming through the window, he covered his hands with his eyes and flipped to his stomach, burying his face in the couch cushion.
Not even so much as a pillow.
What the hell was happening with them? He felt as if his whole marriage was crumbling down around him and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it but sit there and watch. Or was there?
Adam sat up quickly on the couch as a wave of realization washed over him. There was something he could do about it. He could fight. Fight for the man he loved. Fight like he’d never fought before.
Jumping to his feet, he marched right over to the bathroom and threw the door open. Fully expecting to find his husband in the shower, he jumped back when he saw him clad only in a white sleeveless tank top and his boxers, sitting on the toilet seat cover, bent over with his face in his hands and crying his eyes out. The steam was so thick from the shower that for a minute he had a hard time catching his breath.
He shut the door behind him, walked over to Kris and stood directly in front of him. When Kris finally lifted his head, he wrapped his arms around Adam’s waist. He stepped closer to Kris, allowing him to bury his face into his stomach.
They stood this way for a few minutes, without saying a word.
Slowly, Adam reached down and pulled Kris into a standing position. Taking his arms, he lifted them above Kris’s head and left them there while his hands traveled down Kris’s sides, settling on his stomach. Adam grabbed his tank top and slowly pulled it up, running his hands along the bare skin underneath.
Kris’s eyes settled on his as Adam pulled his tank top up and off. Adam threw his top to the floor and then suddenly found his own arms being lifted above his head. Kris’s eyes stayed focused on his husband’s as he pulled Adam’s shirt up, running his hands along his chest. When it became obvious that he couldn’t reach high enough, Adam took the final step in pulling off his shirt, throwing it to the floor as well.
By this point, the sexual tension between them was apparent to both of them and the steam from the shower only intensified the desire that was gaining momentum.
Dropping his hands to Kris’s neck, Adam pulled his husband in close and slowly brought their lips close. He lingered there for a few moments, increasing the want between them both. And when he finally placed his lips on Kris’s, Kris’s moan was so intense that it almost caused Adam to find his release.
With careful deliberation and crafted expertise, he devoured Kris. His hands settled on the base of Kris’s neck, pulling his hair.
After several minutes, his hands started making their way down Kris’s back, kneading the skin beneath them. It was hot and raw…and something totally unplanned which made it all the better.
Kris felt good. His body felt like it was on fire. Hot and sweaty…just the way Adam wanted it. Running his fingers along the waistband of Kris’s boxers, Adam’s hand slid in and cupped Kris’s bottom, pulling him closer.
Nothing was better than skin-on-skin contact.
The sounds that were coming out of Kris were driving him to the brink of insanity. They were deep, sexual moans and whimpers that egged him on and almost pushed him over the edge time and time again.
Kris’s hands left the safety of Adam’s neck and traveled down his chest. His fingers circled Adam’s nipples, running gently over them every so often before settling on his back, where he dug his nails in and squeezed with his hands.
The sounds that were coming out of Adam’s lips took him by surprise. They sounded almost identical to the sounds he was making. Together, their moans and groans were so loud that Adam began to wonder if the people in the next apartment over could hear them…and just the thought of someone else listening in made him even harder.
Their lips and tongues were running wild over each other’s faces, only occasionally meeting up to enjoy the warmth.
When Adam finally couldn’t take the torment any longer, he stepped back and quickly removed Kris’s boxers in a few seconds flat. And when he went to pull Kris in close again, Kris stepped back and returned the favor with his. Only, he didn’t come up nearly as fast as what Adam did.
Instead, he lingered down around Adam’s erection, taking it in his hands and slowly bringing it up to his mouth. Adam glanced down and moaned, taking in the sight of his husband on his knees. It was a beautiful sight and for Kris to honestly think that he’d ever want to be with someone else almost made him laugh out loud and ruin the moment.
Kris was the one he wanted…
There would be no substitute for the real thing.
When Kris’s lips wrapped around his length, his hands reached down and fisted Kris’s hair. His deep moans intensified as Kris deep-throated him, only coming up occasionally to catch his breath.
Adam closed his eyes after a few minutes, trying desperately to regain his composure and get control of the situation. But it was too late. He was too far gone. Opening his eyes, he looked down and swore. He knew if continued to watch Kris, it be over in no time flat.
But as hard as he tried, he just couldn’t look away.
Holding Kris’s head in place, he thrust deep inside his mouth a few last times, before pulling out and finding his own release. He tried his best to keep his eyes open and watch as his husband opened his mouth, taking in some of his ejaculate. His tongue reached out and ran along Adam’s length as he continued to pour some of his seed down Kris’s throat and onto his face.
It was an orgasm that Adam’d never forget and just when he was finally coming back down to earth, he saw Kris run his hands along his cheeks, smearing what was on his face and then licking each finger individually before standing up.
“Oh God…you’re incredible,” Adam moaned, cupping Kris’s bottom. Slowly, he lifted Kris up and placed him on the counter, next to the sink. Spreading his legs, Adam placed one foot on the towel bar and Kris’s other foot over his shoulder. Nothing else was said as he dove straight down to pleasure Kris.
When Kris felt Adam’s breath, he gripped Adam’s hair and pushed his face closer to his hole. It felt like he was trying to push Adam completely in…like he couldn’t get enough of Adam. “Your fingers…” he hoarsely demanded. “I want your fingers.”
Adam brought his hand up and slightly moved out of the way for his fingers and wet them to work along with his tongue. He didn’t even bother with one. Instead, he slid two fingers in and groaned at how easily Kris accommodated him.
It didn’t take Kris long to start bucking his hips as much as he could. He was hard as a rock and desperate to find his own release. Pulling him down off the counter, he groaned to show his disappointment. Adam smiled and turned him around, leaning him over the counter.
His hands immediately reached around to find Kris’s nipples, but it was obvious that it wasn’t what Kris wanted. What he wanted was Adam, inside him…not outside him. And Adam was always one to give his man what he wanted.
Reaching down, his hands slid between Adam’s thighs and easily made their way inside him. Two and then three fingers quickly thrust in and out, while Kris’s own body fell into the same rhythm.
Adam smiled to himself when he noticed his erection growing up and pointing towards Kris’s body. In all his years, he was never able to make a comeback at such a rapid pace, but today…his body didn’t let him down. After all, this was his husband and he didn’t doubt for one minute that his body wouldn’t respond to the sight he was looking at.
Grabbing a condom and a hold of himself, he put it on, squeezed enough lube on and ran his hand along his length for a minute, helping it along. Once he was sure it was hard enough, he pulled Kris back and guided himself inside.
“God…” Kris moaned, throwing his head back and ramming his backside into Adam at an alarming pace and force.
Adam leaned in and reached his hand around, grabbing hold of Kris.
“God…” Kris moaned again, holding completely still. “I am sooo close…”
“What are you waiting for then?” Adam asked.
“I don’t want it to end yet.”
Adam smiled, removing his hand and bringing it back to Kris’s bottom. “No problem…by the time I get done with you, you’ll be begging me.”
“God…” Kris moaned, throwing his head back. “Don’t say things like that or it will be over.”
Watching Kris squirm with desire only intensified Adam’s desire. And every time Kris backed up, Adam pulled back as well, only letting Kris have him full tilt when he wanted. Kris’s moans and noises were all he needed to gauge just how close he was.
Adam let his hands run along Kris’s back, thighs, bottom and chest. The sweat along with the moisture from the shower was adding to the pleasure. His hands would just glide along, stopping only when he deliberately made them stop. It was like Kris’s whole body was lubricated just from him…just because of him.
Occasionally, Adam would drop his head and run his tongue along Kris’s back, making him squirm even more. Nibbling here and there, Kris stood on his tippy toes, arching his back and desperately trying to entice Adam to pound himself into him. Adam would oblige for a few seconds here and there, but not long enough to satisfy Kris. And when Adam noticed Kris’s hand drop to between his legs, he reached down and pulled it back up. “Oh no, you don’t,” Adam said, pulling out of him completely.
Instead of protesting, Kris simply flew around and dropped to his knees, taking Adam into his glorious mouth again.
“Oh…trying to entice me?” Adam asked, closing his eyes and saying a silent prayer.
“Is it working?” Kris asked, running his tongue along the tip.
“Oh…yeah…” Adam barely whispered. After a few moments of Kris’s sweet torture, Adam demanded that he stand back up and turn around.
Kris obeyed quickly. Adam admired that but also knew why he obeyed so quickly…Kris wanted it just as much as he did.
So Adam gave it to him. Hard.
Feeling Kris tighten around him, Adam found his own release, followed by Kris. There was no way Adam could have held back even if he had wanted to. Kris’s moans were more than he needed.
When their breathing became more stable, he pulled out and went limp against Kris’s back, which caused him to moan loudly in protest of the extra weight. “Oh God…I need to lie down.”
“No kidding,” Adam mumbled back, dropping to the bathroom floor.
“I didn’t mean here,” Kris whispered, letting out a little laugh.
“You go ahead.” Adam closed his eyes and waived Kris away. “I’ll join you in a few.”
Kris reached into the shower and turned it off. “You’d better get up now while you still can…or else you’ll be napping on the cold, tiled floor for the next hour.”
Adam moaned and groaned, rubbing his eyes and pushing his drenched hair out of the way. “Yeah…yeah…I’m coming.”
“Again?”
Adam’s eyes flew open while his lips turned up in a smile. “Very funny…I’m not young enough to try for a third time.”
“You sure?” Kris asked sweetly.
“Positive,” Adam confirmed, reaching down and grabbing hold of himself. Letting his penis go, it dropped back against his body quickly. “Oh yeah…that guy ain’t about to perform any tricks for a while.”
________________________________________
The warmth of the sun and smoothness of Kris’s skin made Adam smile. The spa’s pool was virtually empty, except for a handful of people. For a late Wednesday afternoon it wasn’t unusual that the spa wasn’t crowded.
After a busy three days of sightseeing and shopping, Adam was happy to just be sitting down. Leaning back against the chair, behind his hot husband and relaxing was the perfect way to end a perfect day.
And with only four days left before his busy schedule was to resume, Adam was savoring the moment of just having his husband to himself. In a mere four days, he’d be face to face with his band, and had to try his hardest to work on the last details of his album with the record label. It would be nothing short of a headache and one that he was pretty sure that would last for the entire duration of his stay.
Adam kneaded Kris’s shoulders and neck for a few more minutes before finally calling it quits. Pulling Kris back against his chest, he relaxed. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Kris whispered. “It’s too fancy for me. Reminds me of Cozumel and the moment we met.”
“Me too.”
“That was something,” Kris added, turning his head back slightly and smiling. “Remember when you asked me if I’d thought about sleeping with you?”
“Sure do,” Adam affirmed, smiling back. “And I also remember what your answer was.”
Kris simply smiled and turned back his head.
“Do you still feel the same way?”
“Yes.” Turning his head back around, Kris gazed into Adam’s eyes. “You know that.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, honey,” Kris quietly said, looking at the water. “These last two weeks have been pretty rough and honestly,” Adam trailed, watching as his husband inched his way forward and then turn around to face him. “I don’t know what’s going through your mind.”
“Nothing’s changed,” Kris replied flatly.
“Everything’s changed,” Adam countered sternly. “How can you even say that nothing’s changed?”
“Because it hasn’t.”
Adam shook his head at hearing the words, silently wondering whether or not Kris was just trying to fool him or if he was honestly fooled himself. “What’s going on with Brian?”
Kris’s head dropped quickly.
“I need to know what’s going on.” Adam brought his hand up to Kris’s chin and lifted his head. “I need to know where I stand. This isn’t affecting just you and Brian - it’s affecting me and you.”
“How is it affecting us?”
“Are you serious?” Adam questioned, dropping his hand. “Since the day he walked off that plane it has affected us.”
Kris leaned back. “The only person it’s affecting is Brian. It’s his life that’s been turned upside down.”
“It’s not only his life’s that’s been turned upside down,” Adam replied, trying to keep his cool. Looking directly into Kris’s eyes, he shook his head. “What about my life? Where do I fit into the equation?”
“God, Adam,” Kris moaned, looking away. “This isn’t about you.”
“Stop saying that it isn’t about me…because it is.” Adam took a deep breath. “Have you even told him that you’re married yet?”
Kris didn’t answer him.
“That’s what I thought,” Adam mumbled. “How did you explain this little vacation to him then?”
Again, Kris refrained from answering him.
“What the hell is going on, Kris?” Adam questioned, sitting up straight. “Does he honestly think that you stopped living for the past three years? Is he that stupid?”
“I don’t know what he thinks, Adam.” Sitting up straight as well, Kris buried his face into his hands. “We don’t talk about it.”
“Then what the hell do you talk about?”
“Everything and anything,” Kris mumbled into his hands.
Adam shook his head in disgust, watching his husband intensely. “Obviously you don’t talk about everything and anything,” he roughly stated. “Because if you did, he’d know that you’re married.”
“I’m afraid to tell him that!” Kris yelled, pulling his face out of his hands. “Okay? I’m afraid to tell him because I’m afraid it’ll set him back.”
Adam moaned loudly, shifting in his seat. “Don’t you think that it’ll be worse the longer you wait? More than likely, it’s going to set him back whenever you decide to tell him. Personally,” he trailed, lowering his voice. “I would think that it’d be better to tell him while he’s still having a hard time coping with all this than waiting until he’s better.”
“You don’t know him like I do though.”
“How well do you even know him anymore, Kris?”
Again, Kris buried his head in his hands.
Taking a moment to think things through clearly, Adam remained quiet for a few minutes. He didn’t want to fight but he also didn’t want to just sit back and remain silent. “Are you ever planning on telling him that you’re married?”
Kris’s head flung up. “Yes, I plan on telling him…when the time is right.”
“And what if the timing is never right?” he asked, standing to his feet. “Then what?”
Kris jumped to his feet and folded his arms in front of him.
“Eventually, he’s gonna find out,” Adam stated evenly. “It isn’t something you can hide forever.”
“No kidding,” Kris huffed, walking away. “Just let me handle it, okay?”
________________________________________
Once they were snuggled in bed, Adam’s mind wandered off. Brian wasn’t mentioned during the entire drive home or during their quick dinner that consisted of hotdogs and potato chips. Neither one was in the mood to dine out, thanks to the conversation spoiler at the spa.
Waiting until he heard Kris’s breaths deepen, he quietly snuck out of bed and made his way to the couch. Turning on the TV, he tried to keep himself occupied by channel surfing.
Even reruns of The Late Night Show, True Blood, Brothers and Sisters and The Office didn’t distract him from his previous thoughts…thoughts that consisted of Kris and Brian and what was happening between them.
Just what was happening there? Would he ever be able to get an honest answer?
Flipping to CNN, he stopped. Scooting to the edge of the couch, his eyes widened. It was a special report on the POW’s. And there amongst them, sat Brian Whitwam. Thanks to the names appearing under each picture, he knew exactly who it was.
He didn’t need to see the name.
He’d recognize him just about anywhere.
The first thing Adam took notice of was the fact that Brian had cleaned himself up. No longer did he look like someone who’d been held against his will for over a decade. His long hair was cut short and the only hair visible on his face was now in the form of a goatee. He looked much better and from what he could remember, Brian almost looked like he had in the wedding photo Adam had seen a while back. The only difference he could see were the dark bags and circles under his eyes that Brian now had.
From the sound of it, it looked like the report was just filmed, within the last couple of days. All survivors were sitting in one room and being interviewed simultaneously. Turning up the volume slightly, his head lurched forward so that he could hear the TV better.
For over thirty minutes, he sat and watched, waiting to hear what Brian had to say. His nerves were shot, his eyes were killing him and his head was pounding. Was it worth all this aggravation? Just to hear what this guy had to say?
Hell yes, it was.
“So that pretty much leaves me with only one more question then,” the reporter said. “How are you all coping and who is helping you cope?”
Adam listened as the men rambled on about their families, raving about how supportive and wonderful they had all been. And that’s when the guilt started setting in. Maybe he was being too selfish. All of those men looked confused, dazed and stressed, Brian included. And who could blame them? What they all went through was nothing short of a hellish nightmare.
“My parents have been wonderful,” Brian stated. “But my husband has been just as supportive, if not more.”
Adam’s head lurched forward even more. “Husband?” he mumbled, practically choking on his own tongue. Husband?
“Husband?” the reporter asked.
Brian shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I shouldn’t really call him that I guess. He was my husband when this nightmare happened three years ago…”
Adam turned off the TV and threw the remote down. He’d heard enough. Looking towards the bed, he could hear Kris mumbling.
He jumped to his feet and quickly made his way over to the bed, fully expecting to find Kris having some kind of nightmare. What he saw instead was his husband sitting up in bed and whispering into his cell phone.
Instead of retreating and letting Kris talk in private, Adam sat down on the edge of the bed and listened.
“Okay…fine…I’ll see what I can do, Julianne,” Kris said, staring directly at Adam. “I need to talk it over with Adam first though. I’ll call you in the morning.”
Kris handed the cell phone over to Adam and sighed. Adam placed the cell phone down on the nightstand and turned to face him.
“What’s going on?”
“How long have you been up watching TV?” Kris questioned.
“Long enough,” Adam shot back; irritated that Kris avoided his question. “What’d Julianne want?”
“She wants me to head home earlier if it’s okay with you.”
Adam stood to his feet and quickly started pacing the floor. “And if it’s not?”
“Adam…” Kris mumbled, using a tone between reprimanding him and consoling him. “Please…apparently CNN interviewed all the survivors and ever since then, Brian’s pretty much locked himself in his room, refusing to talk to anyone or even come out.”
Adam stopped pacing and walked over to the bed, placing his hands on his hips. “Then tell Bill and Julianne that they need to get their son a goddamn shrink…you’re not qualified to do a shrink’s job.”
“He is seeing a shrink, Adam,” Kris stated with reservation.
“Obviously, he isn’t seeing the shrink often enough.”
Kris lay down on the bed and rolled over, turning his back to Adam. “Fine, I’ll just tell Julianne that I couldn’t change the flight.”
“She’ll know you’re lying.”
Kris rolled over the other way and lifted his head slightly. “Okay then, I’ll tell her that it’s too expensive to change the flight itinerary.”
Adam sat down on the bed and let out a pent-up moan. “That won’t work either and you know it.”
“They don’t know what we can or can’t afford, Adam,” Kris stated clearly, dropping his head back to his pillow.
“God, please…don’t be so naive.” Adam lay down and pulled the covers up and over his face. “They aren’t stupid…they know damn well that we can afford it.”
Kris shot up straight. “Then what would you like me to tell them?”
Adam rolled over, unable to face Kris with the way he felt. He was ashamed of the way he felt. He should've felt sorry for Brian…with what he was going through and what he had gone through, only he didn't.
What happened to Brian was something he couldn’t comprehend, much less imagine. Losing your life and being presumed dead would destroy just about anyone. Throw the love of your life into the middle of it, and Adam was pretty sure any sane man would more than likely go insane. He knew he would. How would he feel if the situation were reversed?
Rolling back over, he pulled the covers off his face. “Tell them you’ll be on the first flight home in the morning.”
________________________________________
Walking up to the front door of Kris’s old place, Adam stopped for a moment to gather his thoughts. Kris had left that morning and shortly after, he had hopped on a flight and headed back to LA as well. He knew it was crazy, since in three days he’d be back in New York to work on the details with the record label, but at this particular time, what mattered to him most was apologizing to his husband.
When he drove Kris to the airport that morning, he wouldn’t even speak to Kris. Nor did he even wait at the airport with his husband.
Instead, Adam simply dropped Kris off at the door, retrieved his bags from the trunk and drove off. It was not something he was proud of either. In fact, he was so ashamed of his behavior that he couldn’t even bear the thought of just calling Kris and apologizing…he wanted to do it in person.
He was letting his emotions take control, instead of taking control of his emotions. He needed to get control. Desperately.
As far as he was concerned, gaining control of the entire situation started with Daniel. Once Brian came back into the picture, Kris had cancelled the closing on the home with the intention of rescheduling it down the road, when things settled down. The way Adam saw it, things were bound to be unsettled for quite some time and opting not to risk the chance of yet another disagreement by bringing up the touchy subject with Kris, Adam decided to take it up with Daniel. The way he saw it…they were down the road.
Besides, if he was lucky, maybe Daniel could shed some light on what was going on between Kris and Brian. Killing two birds with one stone sounded like a good idea to him.
Unfortunately, it was a Thursday and Adam knew the odds weren’t very good at finding someone home. Determined not to let that stop him though, he knocked on the door and waited patiently.
After a few brief moments, he turned to leave just as he heard the front door open. He stopped and stepped back, continuing to wait, watching as a dark-haired figure peeked around the door. “Kris…is that you?”
Kris stepped around the door quickly, catching his jeans on the edge of the door. Looking down, he reached for his jeans, yanking on them continuously until they were torn and finally free. Leaning in, his eyes grew as he returned his attention towards Adam. “What are you doing here?”
“You okay?” Adam asked, looking at Kris’s torn jeans. “Kind of impatient there, don’t you think?”
He bit his bottom lip and lowered his voice even more. “You’re supposed to be in New York.”
“Decided to head back for a few days,” Adam whispered back. “Why are we whispering anyway?” Laughing, he winked at Kris and smiled. “I was actually on my way home and decided to stop by and say hi to Daniel.” He opened the screen door and stepped into the house. “What’re you doing here?”
Kris’s mouth twitched. “He’s not home,” he whispered yet again.
“Doesn’t matter,” he stated, pulling Kris into his arms. “I flew home because I wanted to apologize and what’s with the whispering?”
Kris’s body tensed. “Apologize?”
“For the way I acted at the airport. It was uncalled for and I’m sorry,” Adam whispered in Kris’s ear. “Why are you so tense?” he asked, running his hands up and down Kris’s arms.
Quickly, Kris stepped back and pointed to the door. “Thanks for stopping by. I’ll let Daniel know and we’ll talk about…” he trailed, stopping when he heard his name being called from somewhere behind him.
“I thought you said Daniel wasn’t home,” Adam stated, looking around Kris and towards the kitchen.
“He’s not,” Kris replied hastily. “Go…please just go,” he pleaded.
In that instant, Adam knew exactly why Kris was pleading with him to go. There could only be one reason. Stepping towards Kris, Adam looked deep into his husband’s eyes. “What’s he doing here? I thought he was in seclusion.”
“Go…please Adam,’” Kris pleaded quietly again, placing his hand over his heart. “Please.”
“WHO IS IT, KRIS?”
Kris’s head flew back over his shoulder. “A friend of Daniel’s!” he yelled back to Brian.
When Kris looked back towards his husband, Adam stifled the gasp that wanted to escape. Kris’s eyes were indescribable; his face white as a ghost. Adam’d never seen him so scared in all the time that they’d known each other. He looked downright mortified.
“I’ll go,” Adam said softly, not wanting to upset Kris any further. Leaning over, Adam kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be at home.”
“HEY!”
Adam stopped short of stepping onto the porch and let the screen door close. Turning around slowly, he took a deep breath and did his best to smile. Noticing that Brian had his hand extended out to him, he held out his also. “Hi…you must be Brian.” Without hesitation, his eyes traveled over to his husband who was now looking completely and utterly sick to his stomach. “Well, tell Daniel that I stopped by.”
“He should be back in a few minutes,” Brian stated, sweeping his hand towards the couch. “Just hang out and wait…he just had to run and drop something off at work.” Walking towards the couch, he stopped, but didn’t turn around. “I’m sorry…I didn’t catch your name.”
Adam’s eyes darted over to his husband. He shrugged and mouthed a silent “sorry” before making his way behind Brian. He couldn’t just up and leave now. It wouldn’t look good. It didn’t help matters either that he was just a slight bit interested in checking out the man that had his husband’s heart for so long. “Adam Lambert.”
“Adam, I take it you already know Kris then?” Brian questioned, taking a seat on the couch.
Kris stepped into the conversation quickly by taking a seat next to Brian. “Oh yeah…Adam and I go way back…he’s been a friend of Daniel’s for a couple of years now.”
Adam took a seat in the chair next to the couch and listened as his husband nervously explained how he and Daniel knew each other. It was obvious how nervous Kris was by the sound of his voice and by the lengths he went at to cover his lies. His knee-jerk reaction by going into such detail was exactly what most people did when they lied. Kris was talking way too much and several times, Adam tried to interrupt him with no luck. If Kris wasn’t careful, he was going to blow it.
Brian’s eyes widened before he finally cleared his throat. “Did you want something to drink, Adam?”
Adam’s head lifted slightly, his throat dry. “Yeah…anything would be fine, thanks.”
Brian turned to Kris. “Could you grab us two beers, honey?”
Honey? Adam held back the emotion that was making its way to the top just by hearing Brian refer to Kris as honey. “Sit down, Kris,” he said. “I’ll get the beers.”
Brian placed his hand on Adam’s arm to stop him. “Nonsense…Kris doesn’t mind getting them, do you, honey?”
Adam’s heart took a dive hearing the term of endearment again.
“Oh, never mind,” Brian said, standing to his feet. “I’ll get the beers.”
When he cleared the room and was out of audible range, Adam turned his head to Kris. “He’s living here?”
Kris nodded.
“What in hell for? What happened to his parent’s place?”
Kris’s head slowly turned to him. “It’s his house, Adam.”
Adam scooted up on the chair and stretched his neck. “Is his name still on the documents?” he whispered sternly.
Kris lowered his voice and looked over his shoulder. “Of course not.”
“Then it’s not his house.” Adam sat back in his seat, dropping his head back against the chair and blowing out a long breath. So much for rescheduling the closing, there probably wouldn’t be a closing. Grabbing his head with both hands, he rubbed it, hoping to rub away all his problems. When that didn’t work, he opted just to leave. To hell with what did or didn’t look good, he couldn’t take the pressure.
Standing to his feet, he glanced down at Kris. “I’m gonna get going,” he stated before heading towards the door and running smack dab into Daniel who was trying to get in the house.
Daniel let go of the screen door and stopped in front of Adam. “Hey, Adam,” he said, kicking off his shoes. “What’s going on?”
“Oh…there you are, Daniel,” Brian said, walking back into the room with two beers. “Adam just stopped by see you.”
“Me?” Daniel questioned while pointing to himself. Laughing, he made his way into the room, grabbing a beer out of Brian’s hand and pointing to Kris. “I think you mean he stopped by to see his husband.”
Adam’s eyes flew open.
Kris’s head jerked up.
Brian’s head swung over to Kris.
Daniel gulped down a swig of beer and took a seat next to his brother.
“Isn’t that right, bro?” Daniel kidded, slugging Kris in the arm.
“Actually,” Adam said calmly, trying to jump right past what was just said. “I did stop by to say hi. It’s been a while since I’d seen you and I just happened to be in the neighborhood.” He cringed at the sound of his own voice. Even he could tell that he’d never win an Oscar with a performance like that. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Brian dropping to the couch. It was obvious by the look on his face that he’d heard Daniel’s comment. Deciding to bow out rather than risk a confrontation, Adam opened the screen door. “I’m gonna get going.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you were married?” Brian stated quietly. “For that matter, why the hell didn’t anyone tell me?”
Adam froze after hearing Brian’s question. He didn’t know what to do. Should he leave? Should he stay?
“Shit,” Daniel said. “I thought you’d already told him Kris.”
“He didn’t,” Brian spat. “Evidently, no one’s had the balls to say anything.”
Adam turned around and looked at his husband. He was standing up in front of the couch, completely still with his gaze directed towards the floor. Coming to his defense, Adam turned to Brian. “He didn’t say anything because he was afraid of what’d it do to you.”
Brian stood to his feet. “When were you gonna say something?”
Adam’s eyes darted back to Kris. He simply shrugged at Brian’s question and dropped his head again.
“Were you ever gonna tell me, Kris? Or were you gonna let me look like an ass forever?!”
His tone was demeaning, throwing Adam into defense mode. Taking a step towards them, he shook his head repeatedly. “Hey…wait a minute…”
“No, you wait a minute,” Brian interjected, waiving his hand in the air. “Let your husband answer my question.”
Again, Adam’s eyes darted back to his husband. He literally had to bite his bottom lip to keep from lashing out at Brian. He knew if he started though, he’d end up saying something he’d regret, causing more problems.
Kris lifted his head slowly, his eyes were wide and from what Adam could see, there were a few tears on the verge of trickling down his cheeks. “We just got married in November,” he whispered.
“You didn’t answer my question!”
Adam took another step forward. “You don’t need to raise your voice to him, Brian.”
Daniel jumped up from the couch, eyeing everyone. “Everybody needs to calm down.”
Brian’s head flew around. “Don’t tell me to calm down. I don’t need to calm down. What I need is for my husband to tell me when the hell he was going to get around to telling me about him!” he spat, pointing at Adam.
Adam let go of his bottom lip. He wasn’t about to let that statement go without saying something. No way, no how. “He’s not your husband any more, Brian,” Adam stated slowly, never letting his stare wander.
Brian’s head slowly turned towards him. “I don’t seem to recall getting a fucking divorce, Adam,” he growled. “It is Adam, right? Or was that a lie too, Kris?”
That about did it.
Adam quickly pulled out his wallet and yanked out the piece of paper he’d written some important information on. He was glad now that he hadn’t waited to do the research like he wanted to do. Unfolding the piece of paper, he cleared his throat loudly. “Remarriage after decree of presumed death…even though the absentee spouse declared to be presumed dead is in fact alive, the remarriage of the spouse who has obtained a license to marry and a decree of presumed death of the former spouse shall be valid for all purposes as though the former marriage had been terminated by divorce.”
The room fell eerily silent as Adam refolded his paper and stuffed it into the back pocket of his jeans.
“And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Brian inquired, stepping closer to Kris.
Daniel shrugged, turning to Brian slowly. “Sounds like you are divorced, buddy, whether you like it or not.”
Adam waited for Brian to hit Daniel. He knew he would have. It was a ballsy move on Daniel’s part, but a move he appreciated because it was the truth. Brian and Kris were no longer legally married. Period.
“I waited for you for years, Brian,” Kris said quietly, refusing to look up.
Hearing the words his husband whispered, Adam moved closer to Kris and drew him into his arms. He was hurting. Brian was hurting. Kris was hurting. Everyone was hurting.
“Obviously,” Brian said, turning back around to face him. “You didn’t wait long enough.”
Adam’s mouth dropped open as he stepped away from Kris and braced himself for a fight. “Are you serious?”
Brian swung his head around and shot Adam a dirty look.
“No one in his right mind would expect someone to wait forever,” Adam huffed, running his hand through his hair. “But then again, you’re not in your right mind, are you? For Christ’s sake, he thought you were dead.” His head jerked back. “You should be honored it took him as long as it did to move on with his life.”
Kris put his hand on Adam’s back. “Honey…you should go.”
“Yeah, Adam,” Brian added. “He’s right, you should go. I need to talk to him privately.”
Adam’s entire body became rigid with anger, tensing as the seconds passed by. “I’m not going anywhere. I leave when my husband leaves.”
“Adam…please…” Kris whispered.
He swung around quickly. “I am not about to let him try and guilt you into feeling bad that you moved on with your life and fell in love. You don’t need that.” He grabbed Kris’s hand and pulled his husband next to him. “And you and I know damn well that if I go, that’s what he’s gonna do.”
“Fine,” Kris said, removing his hand from Adam’s hold. “Let’s go.”
“You’re leaving?” Brian questioned, walking towards Kris. “We need to talk.”
“You’re done talking for now, Brian.” Adam watched as his husband grabbed his bag and walked to the front door. He waited until they stepped outside before glancing over his shoulder. “When you decide to grow up and act like a man, you can call Kris.”
“I’m not about to give up on him Adam,” Brian retaliated. “He loved me once.”
Adam froze with his hand on the door. Taking a deep breath, he turned around and blew it out. “You’d better be prepared for the fight of your life then, because I’m not giving him up without a fight.”
