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something_rareTitle: After All (Sequel to Can't Let You Go) - Chapter One
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Note: A huge thank you to![[info]](../../img/userinfo.gif?v=3)
bigj52. Thank you for being an amazing beta. I feel guilty for the amount of work I put you through with each story.
Chapter One
Hearing the pilot’s announcement that they were due to land in twenty minutes, Adam Lambert closed his eyes and sank down further into his first-class seat. Hollywood, California was less than twenty minutes away. It all seemed surreal. He hadn’t set foot back in Hollywood since the day his dream of living happily-ever-after came crashing to a halt.
That screeching halt took place a little over a year ago. One year, two months and six days ago to be exact. But he wasn’t counting.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, Adam. You don’t look so good.”
His hand flew to his stomach. “I don’t feel so good.”
William’s hand flew up in the air. Leaning over, he whispered, “Hang in there, sexy, I’ll get you a barf bag.”
Adam’s free hand flew up, hitting William’s arm rather hard. Pushing his arm down, he shook his head. “I’m not gonna get sick,” he mumbled. “It’s just nerves.”
William Redmond smiled sweetly as the flight attendant approached them. “Sorry, apparently we’re all set.”
The flight attendant leaned in towards them and smiled back. “Sure, no problem.” Her head slightly tilted, her eyes questioning something. “Aren’t you…?”
Adam’s eyes darted over to her. “Adam Lambert…yes, I am.” He sat up fully in his seat and smiled, extending his hand.
Ignoring his gesture, the flight attendant smiled back but kept her eyes on William. “No…no, aren’t you William Redmond?”
Adam glanced over. William’s eyes lit up as he smiled. “Why, yes I am.”
“Wow,” the flight attendant replied, extending her hand. “You’re the first famous person I’ve had the pleasure of meeting.”
Adam frowned, pulling his hand back. The flight attendant obviously had no clue as to who he was because if she did, she would’ve realized that William was the second famous person she had just met. Evidently, she wasn’t interested in him. Evidently, she didn’t know who the hell he was. He rolled his eyes and glanced out the window, taking in the sight of the magnificent clouds. It was the most enjoyable part of any flight, in his eyes.
“I just loved you in The Forest.” She paused briefly and lowered her voice. “That was a great movie.”
“Thank you,” William replied.
Keeping his gaze directed towards the clouds, Adam listened as William and the flight attendant chatted about the last and only movie his boyfriend played a part in. Not the lead role of course, but obviously, a role worth recognition. His only other acting gigs had been commercials and a few guest appearances here and there on some weekly cable shows.
Once the flight attendant heard her name being called, she excused herself and left. Turning his head slowly, Adam sighed rather loudly. “Well, that was awkward.”
William slid down into his seat, arching his back in an attempt to get comfortable. “Why?” he asked, placing his hand on Adam’s thigh. “Because it wasn’t you she recognized?”
Adam shrugged his shoulders.
“Hey, you said yourself that you were looking forward to being just a regular Joe one day.”
“True,” Adam whispered. “I’m just not so sure I’m ready for that just yet.” Grabbing William’s hand, he squeezed. “I guess it’s true what they say…out of sight, out of mind.”
“You are hardly out of sight, Adam, especially now that you’re recording the new album.” William rolled his head to look at Adam. “Now Monte, on the other hand, he’s another story. Does he even set foot out of his house?”
Adam couldn’t help but laugh. For the most part, his boyfriend was right. Monte rarely made any public appearances of any sort, unless forced to. “Ah well, William,” he said. “To each his own.”
“Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled. “But the least he could’ve done was show up to your party last weekend.”
Adam’s mind wandered back. He had to be careful here. What he’d told William and what the real reason was behind Monte’s no-show were two different things. Monte didn’t come, mainly because he disagreed with what Adam was doing. He made it perfectly clear that in his eyes, Adam had made the wrong decision, walking away from his marriage and his husband.
It didn’t matter to Monte what Kris, Adam’s husband, did with his life.
“He had other obligations,” Adam lied.
“Obligations or not, it was still rude.”
William was right…it was rude, but what Monte had said was right too. It was disrespectful. But what Kris was doing was disrespectful too.
And short of filing for divorce, which he wasn’t about to do at this point, there was no other choice but to have a “friend with benefits.”
“I can’t wait to see this house of yours,” William said, interrupting his thoughts. “From what Tommy has said, it’s beautiful.”
Adam turned his head to glance out the window again. “It’s okay. I’m really contemplating putting it on the market though. I’m never there.” And he hadn’t been there in over a year…and for good reason. He couldn’t bring himself to set foot back in Hollywood since letting Kris go, let alone setting foot in the house that they shared, for however short a time it actually was. It was still too painful.
“Actually, Will,” Adam said, turning to face him. “I booked us a room downtown for the weekend.”
“Why?”
He knew exactly why, but opted to shrug his shoulders like he wasn’t really sure. “It’s closer to where we need to be.”
“Seriously?” William asked, raising his eyebrows. He remained quiet for a few moments. “Just how long has it been since you’ve been back to your house?”
One year, two months and a couple of days, give or take…but again, who’s counting? “I don’t know,” he lied. “Probably a year.”
“Who’s keeping an eye on it for you?”
“I have someone I pay to do that; it’s not that big a deal.”
William sighed, cocking his head to the side. “I thought you were past this, baby.”
“I am,” he said quickly. “I just think that being closer to the hall would be easier for us.”
“Well, God, Adam,” he said impatiently. “You said yourself that he was probably going to be at this Renewal of Vows ceremony tomorrow night. Have you changed your mind about going to that?”
Obviously, William wasn’t buying into his lies.
“Well?”
That was a loaded question and one he’d tossed around in his head only about a hundred times since taking his seat on the flight. But, Adam knew that there was no backing out. He couldn’t, not after personally calling Cale and telling him that he’d be there. “Can’t…I already RSVP’d saying that we were gonna be there.”
“So?” William quipped. “People do that all the time. Just send them a huge check and they won’t give a shit.”
Man, William could be harsh at times. Taking a deep breath to try and maintain normal blood pressure, Adam pointed to himself to get his point across. “I’ll give a shit,” he huffed. “Those two have been through a lot and the least I can do is show up and let them know that I support them. This is a big deal. They were close to divorcing but yet, somehow, some way, they managed to keep their marriage together.” He thought about his own marriage briefly, shaking the memories away yet again. “Besides, Katy was always there for me when I needed to talk, especially at the end.” He smiled, thinking back to how he used to call her at all hours of the night and how she always took his call, no matter what the time. “I want to return the favor.”
“You said yourself that you haven’t even talked to them since walking out on your ex-husband.”
The words hit him like a ton of bricks, and immediately his heart started pounding rapidly against his chest. “First of all, Will…” he added, out of breath. “I didn’t walk out on Kris. I took the high road and stepped away from the situation…there’s a huge difference.” He took a much-needed deep breath and continued, “and secondly, he isn’t my ex-husband.”
William’s eyes narrowed. “He might as well be your ex-husband.”
Adam took note of the look on his boyfriend’s face. He didn’t look impressed. “What he should be and what he actually is, are two different things right now.”
William turned his head away from Adam. “Sorry, I didn’t realize how touchy you were on this subject…still.”
“Cut the crap, Will,” Adam huffed, lowering his voice to keep the other passengers from hearing. “You knew damn well what the situation was before you got involved. I was up front and honest with you about all of this.”
“You may have been up front, Adam, but how honest were you with yourself?”
“Look,” Adam said, grabbing William’s hand. “I know my relationship with Kris is over, okay? I knew that pretty much from when his deceased husband came back to life…but at the same time, I didn’t want our relationship to be over.”
When William looked over at him, Adam tried his best to act unaffected by his honesty. He knew it was hurting William to hear him say what he was saying and by looking depressed – which was truly the way he felt about the situation – it’d only hurt William more. “When Kris’s ready to dissolve this marriage or when his first husband tells him he’s ready to dissolve this marriage, he will. And believe me,” he added with a nod of his head. “It’ll happen here pretty soon and when it does, I won’t stand in the way. It’s just a matter of time.”
“Are you going to be okay with that when it does happen?”
Another loaded question.
Adam looked over at William. If he wanted to try and smooth this over, now was his chance. “I won’t have a choice,” he replied, squeezing William’s hand. “I’m just glad that you’ll be with me to help me through it because I have a feeling that by showing up tomorrow night, it’ll start the ball rolling.”
________________________________________
Standing in the all but empty suite of the hall, Kris Allen-Lambert took a good look around. It wasn’t too long ago that he was preparing for his own wedding, yet it seemed like a lifetime ago already.
He ran his hand over his newly-cut hair. He was glad that he’d gone through with his hairstylist’s suggestion. It was time for a change. And being that he was now gracing some gray hairs mixed in with the dark brown, cutting it was perfect. Just what the doctor ordered.
Leaning in to the mirror, he ran his finger underneath his eye. Frowning, he wrinkled up his nose at his reflection. The wrinkles were starting to set in. Gray hair and wrinkles, both signs that he wasn’t getting any younger.
Stepping back, he did a once-over to make sure that his suit was neat. Satisfied that it was, he turned around slightly and checked out his backside. The coat was a little tight in his opinion, but it’d have to do. Unfortunately, those twenty pounds that’d he lost the year before were starting to find their way back.
Katy, along with Kris’s mother, said that he looked better with the added weight. He, however, didn’t quite agree. In his mind, it made him look slightly puffy and that wasn’t the look he wanted to go for.
When Katy walked into the room, Kris turned completely around. “You look gorgeous. Nervous?”
“I shouldn’t be,” Katy quipped. “It’s not like I haven’t been through this before.”
Kris shrugged. “Yeah well…I know what you mean.”
Katy wore a simple ivory colored dress. After all, she was already married to Cale. This was just a Renewal of Vows ceremony, but a ceremony that definitely needed to be celebrated. They’d found their way back to each other and, together, they’d decided to celebrate this newfound love with their family and friends.
“Are you sure Adam isn’t going to be here?” Kris questioned.
“Where’d that come from?”
Kris honestly didn’t know. One minute he could be thinking and talking about something different altogether and then bam….Adam would pop into his mind. It happened at least ten times a day. Hell, maybe even an hour.
Katy glanced up. “He never RSVP’d either way, Kris,” she stated, shrugging her shoulders. “So I’m only assuming that he isn’t coming. Most people who don’t RSVP usually don’t show up.”
Kris sighed, sitting alongside his friend on the beautifully decorated wooden bench that the room held. “I hope to God that you’re right. I just couldn’t handle seeing him again.”
Katy’s hand landed on Kris’s leg. “I only invited him because Cale insisted on it. Otherwise, you know I would never have even contemplated it.”
Kris placed his hand over Katy’s and slightly turned his head to her. Faking a smile, he lowered his voice. “I’m sorry you feel that way now…because, Adam really liked you and Katy, I feel like this is my entire fault.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. “You can still be friends with him…seriously, I won’t mind.”
Katy shook her head earnestly. “I’m not willing to do that, not after what he did to you.”
Kris removed his hand. “He did what he had to do, Katy,” he said, pacing the floor. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You never want to talk about it.”
“Hey, you two!” Brian said, pushing the doors open to the suite. “I knew I’d find you guys in here.” He walked over to Kris and placed his arm around his shoulder. “You look great.”
Unfortunately, what Kris looked and what he felt weren’t two of the same. Not even close. Smiling, he ran a hand through his hair. “How do you like the hair?”
Brian shrugged. A sure sign of the discomfort he felt by Kris asking the question. “It’s alright, I guess. I liked your hair longer though.”
Alright, you guess? Kris’s hand flew down to his side. Hearing Katy’s slight laugh, he looked over to see her staring back at him through the full-length mirror that hung on the wall. “You don’t like it either?”
“Actually,” Katy replied, turning around. “I think it looks great.”
Kris threw Brian a “told-you-so” look and smiled. “You obviously don’t know what looks good.”
“Obviously,” Brian grunted, kissing Kris on the cheek. He made his way to Katy and hugged her. “Everybody’s ready when you are.”
Katy turned back to the mirror and thoroughly checked herself out. Sighing, she turned back around. “Well, I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
Brian laughed and headed towards the door. Turning around, he stopped before walking out. “I’ll see you both in a few then.” Without waiting for any reply, he simply walked out the door and shut it behind him.
Kris slowly made his way to Katy. Standing before her, he placed his hands on her friend’s shoulders. “I know I’ve probably already told you this a couple of times, but I’m really happy for you and Cale. You guys belong together.”
“Yeah,” Katy replied while nodding. “I just thank God every night that He made it possible for us to find our way back because I can’t even imagine what life would be like without Cale by my side.”
Kris’s mind immediately wandered to another place in time, when he thought the exact same thing about Adam. Yet, here he was and Adam was nowhere in sight. Holding back the tears that were threatening to spill, he simply smiled at his friend. “You guys deserve to be happy.”
“So do you, Kris,” Katy replied casually. “So do you.”
Kris couldn’t manage to articulate a reply. Instead, he nodded, slowly letting his lips turn up.
“I mean that, honey,” Katy repeated. “You deserve to be happy.”
“I am happy.” Kris turned around to hide his expressionless face. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t exactly the truth either.
“You’re still not over him, are you?”
Hearing the question, Kris swung his head around and froze.
“You know damn well who I’m referring to,” Katy moaned, nodding her head in defiance.
“He’s moving on with his life, Katy,” he replied calmly. “You saw the article yourself. He has that actor boyfriend now.”
Katy took a few steps closer and then stopped. “Yeah, I saw the article too but you can’t believe everything you read in that rag mag.” Taking her hand, she placed it on her friend’s shoulder. “That doesn’t answer my question though.”
Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Kris closed his eyes. “Honestly? I don’t think I’ll ever be over him.” He quickly opened up his eyes and shrugged. “But I’m managing quite nicely, don’t you think?”
“Maybe,” she replied, dropping her hand. “By all outside appearances, both you and Adam are moving on with your lives…I’m just wondering why it is then that neither one of you have made any attempt at putting an end to your marriage.” Hearing the door to the suite open, she swung her head back. “We’re coming, Brian,” she sighed. Grabbing Kris’s hand, she squeezed it tightly.
“You two ready or what?” Brian questioned, frowning at the two friends. “Cale is ready.”
Katy smiled as she pulled Kris to the door. “Come on, boy…I better get my ass out there before he has second thoughts.”
________________________________________
Cale and Katy spared no expense when it came to celebrating their recommitment to each other. The flowers in the hall alone were absolutely breathtaking and undoubtedly expensive, not to mention the elaborate bridal bouquet. Katy went all out, just like she said she would. She wasn’t taking this lightly, just like Kris knew she wouldn’t. This was a big deal to both Cale and Katy.
Just like the first time around, Kris was the best man. Just like the first time around, Cale’s older sister, Kristin was the maid of honor. It was like déjà vu only it wasn’t really. Unlike the first time around, there weren’t any bridesmaids or groomsmen this time and the attire was much more subdued. The dresses were simple, yet elegant, and the groom and best man wore suits, not the usual tuxes.
The ceremony didn’t take place in a church either. The happy couple decided to hold the ceremony at the country club where the reception was to be immediately following. They rented a smaller room in the hall and had it set up for the actual ceremony, flowers and all. It was unbelievable how it all came together and how much it actually felt like they were in a church, despite the fact that they weren’t.
Kris glanced out of the corner of his eyes and smiled as he caught a glimpse of his mother, wiping away the tears from her eyes. Kris’s mother, Kim, was like a second mother to Katy. It couldn’t be any other way, really. When you have a friend that’s been in your life for about thirty years, they become more than just your friend. They become your family. They become a part of you. Katy was a part of Kris’s family just as much as Kris was a part of Katy’s family.
Standing up front and center stage, Kris smiled as he watched Katy and Cale’s hands unite. It was his favorite time of any wedding ceremony. The vows. He sighed, slowly dropping his gaze and letting his eyes slightly close. The vows got to him each and every time. It didn’t matter who was getting married, whether it was family, friends or just casual acquaintances, the vows always touched his heart.
This was no exception.
Listening to Katy repeat after the pastor, shivers ran through his body, burning so deeply that he actually shuddered and stopped breathing for a moment. His eyes popped open fully as he took a deep, quiet breath. He could feel his eyes on him, burning through him, and oddly, he felt eerily calmed.
He couldn’t understand that. Normally, Brian’s intense stares made him feel uneasy and unsettled. Brian never stared just to stare or admire him as one might think he was doing. No, it wasn’t that simple and they both knew it. He was always questioning Kris, without actual words. He was always looking to try and get answers for questions he never asked, but demanded to know nonetheless. He was always trying to read Kris’s private thoughts, but never could and he always made sure Kris knew that he couldn’t.
So why was Brian’s penetrating gaze making him calm? It didn’t make any sense.
Slowly, he turned his head slightly to the right. Brian was sitting in the second row and just off to the right of where he stood. It only took a couple seconds for his gaze to settle on him. And it only took a fraction of a second to realize that he wasn’t even so much as throwing a quick glance in his direction, let alone a stare. Of course, as soon as Brian felt his gaze on him, he turned to Kris, smiled sweetly and returned his attention back to the bride and groom.
Kris couldn’t figure it out. He could still feel someone’s eyes on him, still burning through him, calming him but at the same time, frightening him. Forcing himself to breathe, he slowly let his gaze travel through the guests that he was able to see from where he stood without actually shifting his head and drawing attention to himself. His senses were on high alert, his heart pounding heavily, making him winded, when in fact he was motionless. He needed to know who was staring at him.
His breath hitched at the sight of him sitting in the last row of chairs, tucked snugly in the corner and in plain view of where Kris stood. Kris swore he could see his pupils dilate, his pulse quicken, his lips tighten and his stare turn sinister-like when their eyes finally locked.
Breathless, he held his stare. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He didn’t RSVP. People that didn’t RSVP to a wedding didn’t dare show up at the wedding. He, of all people, should know that. It didn’t make sense.
Fighting like hell to pull his gaze away from him, Kris remained frozen. The intensity of his questioning eyes made it impossible for Kris to look the other way; made it impossible for him to breathe.
“Kris.”
When he heard his name being whispered, he took a deep, sharp breath that undoubtedly could’ve been heard by the people in the first few rows if it wasn’t for the music playing loudly overhead.
The ceremony was over.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah, sorry. Congratulations.”
Katy took her bouquet, winking at him before she hooked her arm in Cale’s and proceeded to walk down the center aisle of applauding guests.
The ceremony was over and he missed it. He missed the vows, the kiss and everything else.
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Note: A huge thank you to
bigj52. Thank you for being an amazing beta. I feel guilty for the amount of work I put you through with each story.Chapter One
Hearing the pilot’s announcement that they were due to land in twenty minutes, Adam Lambert closed his eyes and sank down further into his first-class seat. Hollywood, California was less than twenty minutes away. It all seemed surreal. He hadn’t set foot back in Hollywood since the day his dream of living happily-ever-after came crashing to a halt.
That screeching halt took place a little over a year ago. One year, two months and six days ago to be exact. But he wasn’t counting.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, Adam. You don’t look so good.”
His hand flew to his stomach. “I don’t feel so good.”
William’s hand flew up in the air. Leaning over, he whispered, “Hang in there, sexy, I’ll get you a barf bag.”
Adam’s free hand flew up, hitting William’s arm rather hard. Pushing his arm down, he shook his head. “I’m not gonna get sick,” he mumbled. “It’s just nerves.”
William Redmond smiled sweetly as the flight attendant approached them. “Sorry, apparently we’re all set.”
The flight attendant leaned in towards them and smiled back. “Sure, no problem.” Her head slightly tilted, her eyes questioning something. “Aren’t you…?”
Adam’s eyes darted over to her. “Adam Lambert…yes, I am.” He sat up fully in his seat and smiled, extending his hand.
Ignoring his gesture, the flight attendant smiled back but kept her eyes on William. “No…no, aren’t you William Redmond?”
Adam glanced over. William’s eyes lit up as he smiled. “Why, yes I am.”
“Wow,” the flight attendant replied, extending her hand. “You’re the first famous person I’ve had the pleasure of meeting.”
Adam frowned, pulling his hand back. The flight attendant obviously had no clue as to who he was because if she did, she would’ve realized that William was the second famous person she had just met. Evidently, she wasn’t interested in him. Evidently, she didn’t know who the hell he was. He rolled his eyes and glanced out the window, taking in the sight of the magnificent clouds. It was the most enjoyable part of any flight, in his eyes.
“I just loved you in The Forest.” She paused briefly and lowered her voice. “That was a great movie.”
“Thank you,” William replied.
Keeping his gaze directed towards the clouds, Adam listened as William and the flight attendant chatted about the last and only movie his boyfriend played a part in. Not the lead role of course, but obviously, a role worth recognition. His only other acting gigs had been commercials and a few guest appearances here and there on some weekly cable shows.
Once the flight attendant heard her name being called, she excused herself and left. Turning his head slowly, Adam sighed rather loudly. “Well, that was awkward.”
William slid down into his seat, arching his back in an attempt to get comfortable. “Why?” he asked, placing his hand on Adam’s thigh. “Because it wasn’t you she recognized?”
Adam shrugged his shoulders.
“Hey, you said yourself that you were looking forward to being just a regular Joe one day.”
“True,” Adam whispered. “I’m just not so sure I’m ready for that just yet.” Grabbing William’s hand, he squeezed. “I guess it’s true what they say…out of sight, out of mind.”
“You are hardly out of sight, Adam, especially now that you’re recording the new album.” William rolled his head to look at Adam. “Now Monte, on the other hand, he’s another story. Does he even set foot out of his house?”
Adam couldn’t help but laugh. For the most part, his boyfriend was right. Monte rarely made any public appearances of any sort, unless forced to. “Ah well, William,” he said. “To each his own.”
“Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled. “But the least he could’ve done was show up to your party last weekend.”
Adam’s mind wandered back. He had to be careful here. What he’d told William and what the real reason was behind Monte’s no-show were two different things. Monte didn’t come, mainly because he disagreed with what Adam was doing. He made it perfectly clear that in his eyes, Adam had made the wrong decision, walking away from his marriage and his husband.
It didn’t matter to Monte what Kris, Adam’s husband, did with his life.
“He had other obligations,” Adam lied.
“Obligations or not, it was still rude.”
William was right…it was rude, but what Monte had said was right too. It was disrespectful. But what Kris was doing was disrespectful too.
And short of filing for divorce, which he wasn’t about to do at this point, there was no other choice but to have a “friend with benefits.”
“I can’t wait to see this house of yours,” William said, interrupting his thoughts. “From what Tommy has said, it’s beautiful.”
Adam turned his head to glance out the window again. “It’s okay. I’m really contemplating putting it on the market though. I’m never there.” And he hadn’t been there in over a year…and for good reason. He couldn’t bring himself to set foot back in Hollywood since letting Kris go, let alone setting foot in the house that they shared, for however short a time it actually was. It was still too painful.
“Actually, Will,” Adam said, turning to face him. “I booked us a room downtown for the weekend.”
“Why?”
He knew exactly why, but opted to shrug his shoulders like he wasn’t really sure. “It’s closer to where we need to be.”
“Seriously?” William asked, raising his eyebrows. He remained quiet for a few moments. “Just how long has it been since you’ve been back to your house?”
One year, two months and a couple of days, give or take…but again, who’s counting? “I don’t know,” he lied. “Probably a year.”
“Who’s keeping an eye on it for you?”
“I have someone I pay to do that; it’s not that big a deal.”
William sighed, cocking his head to the side. “I thought you were past this, baby.”
“I am,” he said quickly. “I just think that being closer to the hall would be easier for us.”
“Well, God, Adam,” he said impatiently. “You said yourself that he was probably going to be at this Renewal of Vows ceremony tomorrow night. Have you changed your mind about going to that?”
Obviously, William wasn’t buying into his lies.
“Well?”
That was a loaded question and one he’d tossed around in his head only about a hundred times since taking his seat on the flight. But, Adam knew that there was no backing out. He couldn’t, not after personally calling Cale and telling him that he’d be there. “Can’t…I already RSVP’d saying that we were gonna be there.”
“So?” William quipped. “People do that all the time. Just send them a huge check and they won’t give a shit.”
Man, William could be harsh at times. Taking a deep breath to try and maintain normal blood pressure, Adam pointed to himself to get his point across. “I’ll give a shit,” he huffed. “Those two have been through a lot and the least I can do is show up and let them know that I support them. This is a big deal. They were close to divorcing but yet, somehow, some way, they managed to keep their marriage together.” He thought about his own marriage briefly, shaking the memories away yet again. “Besides, Katy was always there for me when I needed to talk, especially at the end.” He smiled, thinking back to how he used to call her at all hours of the night and how she always took his call, no matter what the time. “I want to return the favor.”
“You said yourself that you haven’t even talked to them since walking out on your ex-husband.”
The words hit him like a ton of bricks, and immediately his heart started pounding rapidly against his chest. “First of all, Will…” he added, out of breath. “I didn’t walk out on Kris. I took the high road and stepped away from the situation…there’s a huge difference.” He took a much-needed deep breath and continued, “and secondly, he isn’t my ex-husband.”
William’s eyes narrowed. “He might as well be your ex-husband.”
Adam took note of the look on his boyfriend’s face. He didn’t look impressed. “What he should be and what he actually is, are two different things right now.”
William turned his head away from Adam. “Sorry, I didn’t realize how touchy you were on this subject…still.”
“Cut the crap, Will,” Adam huffed, lowering his voice to keep the other passengers from hearing. “You knew damn well what the situation was before you got involved. I was up front and honest with you about all of this.”
“You may have been up front, Adam, but how honest were you with yourself?”
“Look,” Adam said, grabbing William’s hand. “I know my relationship with Kris is over, okay? I knew that pretty much from when his deceased husband came back to life…but at the same time, I didn’t want our relationship to be over.”
When William looked over at him, Adam tried his best to act unaffected by his honesty. He knew it was hurting William to hear him say what he was saying and by looking depressed – which was truly the way he felt about the situation – it’d only hurt William more. “When Kris’s ready to dissolve this marriage or when his first husband tells him he’s ready to dissolve this marriage, he will. And believe me,” he added with a nod of his head. “It’ll happen here pretty soon and when it does, I won’t stand in the way. It’s just a matter of time.”
“Are you going to be okay with that when it does happen?”
Another loaded question.
Adam looked over at William. If he wanted to try and smooth this over, now was his chance. “I won’t have a choice,” he replied, squeezing William’s hand. “I’m just glad that you’ll be with me to help me through it because I have a feeling that by showing up tomorrow night, it’ll start the ball rolling.”
________________________________________
Standing in the all but empty suite of the hall, Kris Allen-Lambert took a good look around. It wasn’t too long ago that he was preparing for his own wedding, yet it seemed like a lifetime ago already.
He ran his hand over his newly-cut hair. He was glad that he’d gone through with his hairstylist’s suggestion. It was time for a change. And being that he was now gracing some gray hairs mixed in with the dark brown, cutting it was perfect. Just what the doctor ordered.
Leaning in to the mirror, he ran his finger underneath his eye. Frowning, he wrinkled up his nose at his reflection. The wrinkles were starting to set in. Gray hair and wrinkles, both signs that he wasn’t getting any younger.
Stepping back, he did a once-over to make sure that his suit was neat. Satisfied that it was, he turned around slightly and checked out his backside. The coat was a little tight in his opinion, but it’d have to do. Unfortunately, those twenty pounds that’d he lost the year before were starting to find their way back.
Katy, along with Kris’s mother, said that he looked better with the added weight. He, however, didn’t quite agree. In his mind, it made him look slightly puffy and that wasn’t the look he wanted to go for.
When Katy walked into the room, Kris turned completely around. “You look gorgeous. Nervous?”
“I shouldn’t be,” Katy quipped. “It’s not like I haven’t been through this before.”
Kris shrugged. “Yeah well…I know what you mean.”
Katy wore a simple ivory colored dress. After all, she was already married to Cale. This was just a Renewal of Vows ceremony, but a ceremony that definitely needed to be celebrated. They’d found their way back to each other and, together, they’d decided to celebrate this newfound love with their family and friends.
“Are you sure Adam isn’t going to be here?” Kris questioned.
“Where’d that come from?”
Kris honestly didn’t know. One minute he could be thinking and talking about something different altogether and then bam….Adam would pop into his mind. It happened at least ten times a day. Hell, maybe even an hour.
Katy glanced up. “He never RSVP’d either way, Kris,” she stated, shrugging her shoulders. “So I’m only assuming that he isn’t coming. Most people who don’t RSVP usually don’t show up.”
Kris sighed, sitting alongside his friend on the beautifully decorated wooden bench that the room held. “I hope to God that you’re right. I just couldn’t handle seeing him again.”
Katy’s hand landed on Kris’s leg. “I only invited him because Cale insisted on it. Otherwise, you know I would never have even contemplated it.”
Kris placed his hand over Katy’s and slightly turned his head to her. Faking a smile, he lowered his voice. “I’m sorry you feel that way now…because, Adam really liked you and Katy, I feel like this is my entire fault.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. “You can still be friends with him…seriously, I won’t mind.”
Katy shook her head earnestly. “I’m not willing to do that, not after what he did to you.”
Kris removed his hand. “He did what he had to do, Katy,” he said, pacing the floor. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You never want to talk about it.”
“Hey, you two!” Brian said, pushing the doors open to the suite. “I knew I’d find you guys in here.” He walked over to Kris and placed his arm around his shoulder. “You look great.”
Unfortunately, what Kris looked and what he felt weren’t two of the same. Not even close. Smiling, he ran a hand through his hair. “How do you like the hair?”
Brian shrugged. A sure sign of the discomfort he felt by Kris asking the question. “It’s alright, I guess. I liked your hair longer though.”
Alright, you guess? Kris’s hand flew down to his side. Hearing Katy’s slight laugh, he looked over to see her staring back at him through the full-length mirror that hung on the wall. “You don’t like it either?”
“Actually,” Katy replied, turning around. “I think it looks great.”
Kris threw Brian a “told-you-so” look and smiled. “You obviously don’t know what looks good.”
“Obviously,” Brian grunted, kissing Kris on the cheek. He made his way to Katy and hugged her. “Everybody’s ready when you are.”
Katy turned back to the mirror and thoroughly checked herself out. Sighing, she turned back around. “Well, I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
Brian laughed and headed towards the door. Turning around, he stopped before walking out. “I’ll see you both in a few then.” Without waiting for any reply, he simply walked out the door and shut it behind him.
Kris slowly made his way to Katy. Standing before her, he placed his hands on her friend’s shoulders. “I know I’ve probably already told you this a couple of times, but I’m really happy for you and Cale. You guys belong together.”
“Yeah,” Katy replied while nodding. “I just thank God every night that He made it possible for us to find our way back because I can’t even imagine what life would be like without Cale by my side.”
Kris’s mind immediately wandered to another place in time, when he thought the exact same thing about Adam. Yet, here he was and Adam was nowhere in sight. Holding back the tears that were threatening to spill, he simply smiled at his friend. “You guys deserve to be happy.”
“So do you, Kris,” Katy replied casually. “So do you.”
Kris couldn’t manage to articulate a reply. Instead, he nodded, slowly letting his lips turn up.
“I mean that, honey,” Katy repeated. “You deserve to be happy.”
“I am happy.” Kris turned around to hide his expressionless face. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t exactly the truth either.
“You’re still not over him, are you?”
Hearing the question, Kris swung his head around and froze.
“You know damn well who I’m referring to,” Katy moaned, nodding her head in defiance.
“He’s moving on with his life, Katy,” he replied calmly. “You saw the article yourself. He has that actor boyfriend now.”
Katy took a few steps closer and then stopped. “Yeah, I saw the article too but you can’t believe everything you read in that rag mag.” Taking her hand, she placed it on her friend’s shoulder. “That doesn’t answer my question though.”
Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Kris closed his eyes. “Honestly? I don’t think I’ll ever be over him.” He quickly opened up his eyes and shrugged. “But I’m managing quite nicely, don’t you think?”
“Maybe,” she replied, dropping her hand. “By all outside appearances, both you and Adam are moving on with your lives…I’m just wondering why it is then that neither one of you have made any attempt at putting an end to your marriage.” Hearing the door to the suite open, she swung her head back. “We’re coming, Brian,” she sighed. Grabbing Kris’s hand, she squeezed it tightly.
“You two ready or what?” Brian questioned, frowning at the two friends. “Cale is ready.”
Katy smiled as she pulled Kris to the door. “Come on, boy…I better get my ass out there before he has second thoughts.”
________________________________________
Cale and Katy spared no expense when it came to celebrating their recommitment to each other. The flowers in the hall alone were absolutely breathtaking and undoubtedly expensive, not to mention the elaborate bridal bouquet. Katy went all out, just like she said she would. She wasn’t taking this lightly, just like Kris knew she wouldn’t. This was a big deal to both Cale and Katy.
Just like the first time around, Kris was the best man. Just like the first time around, Cale’s older sister, Kristin was the maid of honor. It was like déjà vu only it wasn’t really. Unlike the first time around, there weren’t any bridesmaids or groomsmen this time and the attire was much more subdued. The dresses were simple, yet elegant, and the groom and best man wore suits, not the usual tuxes.
The ceremony didn’t take place in a church either. The happy couple decided to hold the ceremony at the country club where the reception was to be immediately following. They rented a smaller room in the hall and had it set up for the actual ceremony, flowers and all. It was unbelievable how it all came together and how much it actually felt like they were in a church, despite the fact that they weren’t.
Kris glanced out of the corner of his eyes and smiled as he caught a glimpse of his mother, wiping away the tears from her eyes. Kris’s mother, Kim, was like a second mother to Katy. It couldn’t be any other way, really. When you have a friend that’s been in your life for about thirty years, they become more than just your friend. They become your family. They become a part of you. Katy was a part of Kris’s family just as much as Kris was a part of Katy’s family.
Standing up front and center stage, Kris smiled as he watched Katy and Cale’s hands unite. It was his favorite time of any wedding ceremony. The vows. He sighed, slowly dropping his gaze and letting his eyes slightly close. The vows got to him each and every time. It didn’t matter who was getting married, whether it was family, friends or just casual acquaintances, the vows always touched his heart.
This was no exception.
Listening to Katy repeat after the pastor, shivers ran through his body, burning so deeply that he actually shuddered and stopped breathing for a moment. His eyes popped open fully as he took a deep, quiet breath. He could feel his eyes on him, burning through him, and oddly, he felt eerily calmed.
He couldn’t understand that. Normally, Brian’s intense stares made him feel uneasy and unsettled. Brian never stared just to stare or admire him as one might think he was doing. No, it wasn’t that simple and they both knew it. He was always questioning Kris, without actual words. He was always looking to try and get answers for questions he never asked, but demanded to know nonetheless. He was always trying to read Kris’s private thoughts, but never could and he always made sure Kris knew that he couldn’t.
So why was Brian’s penetrating gaze making him calm? It didn’t make any sense.
Slowly, he turned his head slightly to the right. Brian was sitting in the second row and just off to the right of where he stood. It only took a couple seconds for his gaze to settle on him. And it only took a fraction of a second to realize that he wasn’t even so much as throwing a quick glance in his direction, let alone a stare. Of course, as soon as Brian felt his gaze on him, he turned to Kris, smiled sweetly and returned his attention back to the bride and groom.
Kris couldn’t figure it out. He could still feel someone’s eyes on him, still burning through him, calming him but at the same time, frightening him. Forcing himself to breathe, he slowly let his gaze travel through the guests that he was able to see from where he stood without actually shifting his head and drawing attention to himself. His senses were on high alert, his heart pounding heavily, making him winded, when in fact he was motionless. He needed to know who was staring at him.
His breath hitched at the sight of him sitting in the last row of chairs, tucked snugly in the corner and in plain view of where Kris stood. Kris swore he could see his pupils dilate, his pulse quicken, his lips tighten and his stare turn sinister-like when their eyes finally locked.
Breathless, he held his stare. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He didn’t RSVP. People that didn’t RSVP to a wedding didn’t dare show up at the wedding. He, of all people, should know that. It didn’t make sense.
Fighting like hell to pull his gaze away from him, Kris remained frozen. The intensity of his questioning eyes made it impossible for Kris to look the other way; made it impossible for him to breathe.
“Kris.”
When he heard his name being whispered, he took a deep, sharp breath that undoubtedly could’ve been heard by the people in the first few rows if it wasn’t for the music playing loudly overhead.
The ceremony was over.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah, sorry. Congratulations.”
Katy took her bouquet, winking at him before she hooked her arm in Cale’s and proceeded to walk down the center aisle of applauding guests.
The ceremony was over and he missed it. He missed the vows, the kiss and everything else.
