something_rare (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
something_rare) wrote2011-11-24 10:21 pm
something_rare) wrote2011-11-24 10:21 pm
After All (Sequel to Can't Let You Go) - Chapter Eight
Title: After All (Sequel to Can't Let You Go) - Chapter Eight
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Note: A huge thank you to![[info]](https://something-rare.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=3)
bigj52. Thank you for being an amazing beta.
Chapter Eight
Adam jumped up from the floor and took a seat on the loveseat. He ran a hand through his hair as he closed his eyes. When he finally looked back down at Kris, his eyes were narrowed and slightly glossed over.
“Don’t look so surprised,” Kris said quietly, sitting up and grabbing his clothes in haste. “I’m not one to cheat.”
“Cheat?” Adam questioned, heaving the word loudly, demanding attention that Kris wasn’t so sure he wanted to give him. “Just what the hell do you think we’re doing? We are not together anymore, Kris,” he barked. “You’re with Brian and what we’re doing is cheating.” Shaking his head in disbelief, he leaned back against the cushions. “And furthermore, if you take your wedding vows so damn seriously, then the fact alone that you’re with Brian…sex or no sex…you’re cheating on me.” Pointing towards Kris, he threw his head forward. “So how can you even say that you don’t cheat?”
Kris stood up and quickly threw his shirt back on, followed by the rest of his clothes. Adam’s stare was making him nervous and uptight. Without acknowledging him any further, Kris turned his back and made his way to the front door.
“That’s right, Kris,” he heaved. “Don’t answer the question. Just walk away.”
Kris stopped dead in his tracks at Adam’s words. How dare he say that to him when he was the one who walked away from their marriage? Turning around, he placed his hands on his hips so that Adam wouldn’t notice how bad he was trembling. “You are the one who walked away, Adam, not me.”
“What!” Adam stood to his feet and marched over to Kris. “The only reason I walked away from anything was because I thought it was the right thing to do. You were an emotional wreck,” he heaved loudly, throwing his hands in the air. “Or have you forgotten that already?”
Kris watched him with amazement. “Look who’s losing control now,” he neutrally replied.
“Don’t fuck with me.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Adam stated, stopping directly in front of Kris. “I gave you the opportunity to try and convince me to stay.” Adam pointed his finger into Kris’s chest. “You chose to remain quiet which led me to believe that what I was doing was what you wanted.” He dropped his hand and swiftly brought it to his head, pulling back what little hair he had. “Are you going to stand here now and try to convince me otherwise?”
Kris’s head dropped down, unable to withstand the intense stare he was under.
“ANSWER ME!”
Adam’s voice caused him to look up. While Adam may have been upset with him in the past, he never raised his voice like he had just moments ago. It truly frightened him. Kris took a step back before answering him. “I didn’t want to give up on us, Adam…but I thought that it was what you wanted,” he whispered, his body shaking uncontrollably.
Adam took in a deep breath while he continued to stare. “I can’t even believe what I’m hearing,” he said sharply. “Why didn’t you say something then?”
“You had already made up your mind.”
“My mind could have been changed, Kris.” He turned around, swearing under his breath. “Do you honestly think that I wanted to give you up?”
There was no longer any use in trying to hold back the tears. Even if Kris would’ve wanted to, he couldn’t have. “Y-you said that you weren’t my s-soul mate, Adam.”
Adam’s body jerked around, his stare becoming more intense. “I only said that because I thought it would help to make things easier for you.”
Kris threw his arms up in the air. “Well, how the hell was I supposed to know that, Adam? You were dumping me!”
“Dumping you?” he questioned. Kris noticed Adam’s body tensing with every moment that ticked by. He looked angry, upset and completely amazed by his admission, but more than anything, he looked hurt. Kris could tell by the look in his eyes. “You know what, Kris?” Adam looked away briefly before returning his gaze to Kris. “Maybe we didn’t know each other as well as we thought. Because if we were really soul mates, you would’ve known that what I was doing was strictly out of love.”
Kris’s eyes remained locked with his.
“For you to even think, let alone say, that I was dumping you is slap in the face and a fucking insult to what we had.” He turned around and again waved his hand in the air. “I think you should go.”
What? Kris’s heart pounded faster. Adam was dismissing him? He wiped away the tears and stood tall. There was no way on earth that Adam was going to dismiss him. He would leave when he was good and ready to and not a minute earlier.
“Go,” Adam repeated louder, heading into the kitchen. “GO!”
Kris’s blood pressure was rising with every ounce of air he took in. He was almost to the point of completely losing it. Taking huge strides towards the kitchen, he clenched his jaw.
“The door is the other way,” Adam commented, throwing open the refrigerator.
“I know where the door is,” he heaved, slamming the refrigerator door shut. “What I don’t know is why you’re getting all pissed off because I don’t have sex with Brian,” he spoke in an even keel. “Are you pissed because you’ve broken your vows and I haven’t?”
Adam’s hands flew up, rubbing his face. Kris could hear how labored his breathing had become in just the few moments that had passed. If he had to guess, Adam was beyond mad. He was ballistic. Stepping back a few paces, he lengthened the distance between them as a precautionary measure.
When Adam’s hands finally flew down to his side, his eyes were no longer teary, they were barely even visible. “Being faithful doesn’t just refer to intercourse, honey,” he shot back angrily. “You’ve been just as unfaithful as I have and if you really want to get down to the details…you were unfaithful long before I ever was.”
Kris couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Adam couldn’t honestly believe what he was saying, could he? It wasn’t true. Gulping back the tears, Kris cleared his throat. “I was never unfaithful to you, Adam. Never. How can you even say that?”
Adam closed his eyes, shaking his head. “I think we have different definitions of infidelity,” he mumbled loudly. “Just go. I really don’t feel like rehashing all the events that took place during our marriage. Do you?”
Kris was unable to answer him.
“Why won’t you just leave?” he shot back, making his way towards Kris. “Am I so damn good in bed that you just can’t bear to leave? Is that it?” He produced a lop-sided smile before backing Kris into the counter and resting his hands, which were on either side of him, against the counter top. “Do you want me to screw you one last time until you finally decide to give it up to Brian?”
Unable to hold back the anger that was building inside him, Kris took his hands and shoved them hard against Adam’s chest. “How dare you!” When Adam didn’t even so much as budge with his push, Kris began pounding his fists in Adam’s chest. “GET OFF ME!”
Adam laughed, moving in even closer. “You don’t mean that and you know it,” he whispered. “You’d like nothing more than for me to bend you over this counter right now and give it to you.” His lips brushed up against Kris’s, nipping at them.
Adam was right. He was so right. Just what the hell was wrong with him anyway? Was he so desperate for physical contact that he’d settle for being bent over the counter and verbally abused? Or was it just that he loved Adam so damn much that he’d take him any way he could have him?
When he couldn’t fight back any longer, his arms wrapped around Adam’s neck, drawing him in closer.
When their lips met, it felt like a bolt of electricity ripping through the very center of him. It was the roughest kiss he’d ever experienced in his life. Adam’s lips were overpowering, sucking and biting at anything that was in their path. It was so erotic that he couldn’t help but grind his nails into Adam’s neck.
Adam inched his way closer until his body was pressing into Kris so forcefully that he thought the cupboards might actually give way. It was insane, he knew, but so intense. Intense like he’d never known. Feeling Adam’s hardness, he groaned loudly before running his tongue along Adam’s lips and cheeks.
Adam took this spare moment to grab Kris and hoist him up onto the counter top. Kris took the exact spare moment to gather his senses. When he finally worked up the courage, moments later, he pushed Adam off in one hard shove. He needed distance between them. He needed to leave. He needed to give Adam a piece of his mind.
“The only reason why I didn’t leave when you asked me,” he said, jumping down off the counter. “Is because I didn’t want to leave without at least telling you that I loved you.” Straightening himself, he looked up and into Adam’s eyes. This wasn’t going where he wanted it to, but it was all he could manage in the moment. “I still love you. I have always loved you and I will never stop loving you. And whether or not you want to believe what I said earlier, it’s the truth. I haven’t and I will not sleep with anyone until we’re officially divorced, because in my eyes, it’s cheating.”
Turning on his heels, he made his way to the front door, leaving Adam speechless in the kitchen. “Have a nice life,” he mumbled loudly, unaware whether Adam heard or not.
________________________________________
The entire way back to his home, Kris bawled. He hadn’t cried so hard in his entire life. Nothing had even come close to comparison. Not even when Adam had walked out on him and not even when government officials showed up on his doorstep over five years ago to tell him about the explosion. It was like nothing he’d ever experienced and over the course of his drive, he repeatedly had to stop because he wasn’t even able to see the road through his tears.
Pulling into the driveway, he seriously wondered how he had even made it home in one piece without causing an accident along the way. That’s how bad it was.
He cried for himself, he cried for Adam and more than anything, he cried for his failed marriage. On one hand, it was a relief to finally be able to get it out in the open, but on the other hand, he felt like it had only made things worse.
He thought he was finally over him.
He thought wrong.
He would never be over him.
Never.
Kris took a deep breath and made his way out of the car and to the front door of his home. He did his best to wipe away the tears, even blowing his nose numerous times to try and cover up that he had been crying. He didn’t want Daniel to question him about anything.
Slowly, he opened up the front door, doing his best to put on a fake smile. Daniel would more than likely be sitting in the exact spot that he’d left him…sitting on the couch and watching TV.
“Hey Kris.”
He lifted his head slowly when he recognized the voice that definitely wasn’t his brother’s.
“I got us a movie, honey.”
Great…
He smiled at Brian, dropping his bag to the floor and shutting the door behind him. “I’m really tired, Brian.”
Brian jumped up from the couch and made his way over to him. “No problem, you can rest your head on my lap and fall asleep.” Brian laughed, reaching out and lifting his head. “Have you been crying?”
Kris bit his bottom lip, fighting back the tears that were once again making their way back. “Yeah…I had a tough day,” he said, trying his best to force a laugh.
“Grrreeaaatt,” Brian sang, pulling Kris in to a hug. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.”
“’Night, you two,” Daniel said, lying down on the couch.
“’Night, buddy,” Brian stated, placing his arm around Kris. Together, they walked up the stairs and into Kris’s bedroom. Brian shut the door behind him and pointed to the bed. “You look exhausted.”
Kris walked over to the bed and flopped down on it, face first. Brian had no idea how true his words were. “I am exhausted.”
“Today was your day off,” he said, placing the DVD in the player. “Didn’t you at least sleep in?”
Kris continued to lie face down into the bed. Grabbing a pillow, he moved it underneath his head and let his head roll to the side to watch what Brian was doing. “I pretty much slept all day.”
“What happened?” he asked, stepping back from the TV with the remote in his hand.
Kris thought back about the episode at Adam’s house and sighed. If Brian even remotely knew what was going on, Brian would blow a gasket. There was no way Kris could be honest with him. It would only set him off and send him into a tirade. “I had a fight with my mom over the phone. You know how mothers can be,” he lied, closing his eyes.
When he felt the bed move, he slowly opened his eyes to see Brian getting into his usual position on the bed. He lifted his head and watched Brian maneuver himself up against the headboard. He knew it was Brian but the only image he could see was of Adam. It was Adam lying up against the headboard, patting his lap to entice him to shift over and lie down on him. It was Adam who smiled and winked at him. It was Adam.
“C’mere, baby,” he whispered.
Kris inched his way towards the waiting lap. It was Brian’s lap but at the same time, it wasn’t Brian at all. It was Adam’s lap he wanted. It was Adam who had his heart.
“Just close your eyes and go to sleep,” he said, running his hands through Kris’s hair.
It was Adam’s hands running through his hair. It was Adam’s hand that slid down his back and rubbed his bottom over the softness of his sweatpants. It was Adam who had given him an orgasm only an hour earlier.
It was Adam.
**********
Adam drove like a madman the entire way to Kris’s house. After he’d left and he’d broken down, he came to the realization that if he couldn’t have Kris’s heart, he’d settle for what he could have. What he wanted most was for Kris to be in his life again. But if he couldn’t have that, he would take whatever Kris would give.
He loved Kris. He would always love Kris. And he would always be there for Kris. And if it meant only being there for Kris where sex was concerned, then so be it. At least it was something.
Kris’s final words before leaving the house cut through him deeply. He knew Kris loved him. He never doubted that. What they had and always would have was honest love at first sight. Kris’d said those words himself in the interview with Ellen. And after hearing what he’d said earlier that late afternoon, it just confirmed what Adam had always suspected.
He gave up on Kris too soon.
He walked away, forcing Kris right into Brian’s waiting arms.
He knew it then, he knew it now and even though it may have been too late to change it, he wasn’t about to let Kris get on with his life without him knowing it.
Pulling up in front of Kris’s house, Adam looked up to his bedroom window almost immediately and noticed that the lights were off in his bedroom. It was obvious though, that he was watching TV by the blue light that illuminated the darkness.
Gathering up his courage, he stepped out of his vehicle and right up onto the porch. Knocking twice, he took a step back and waited.
When the door flew open, Adam brought his hand up, waving it in greeting. “Hey, Daniel.”
“Adam,” he said carefully, turning to look behind his shoulder. “What’re you doing here?” He took a step outside. “My brother’s upstairs sleeping.”
Adam shrugged his shoulders. “You sure about that? He just left my place a little over forty-five minutes ago.”
“Your place?” Daniel shook his head in disbelief. “He was at Katy and Cale’s house tonight.”
Adam shrugged again, not aware of anything of the sort. “He stopped by my house after that, because like I said earlier, he just left my place.”
Daniel looked nervous, his head repeatedly glancing over his shoulder.
“Is something wrong, Daniel?” Adam pointed to the box on the porch. “I just wanted to drop off a box of his things that he left behind.”
Daniel remained speechless.
Adam decided to elaborate. “I just put my place on the market and there were a few items that your brother didn’t pack up when he moved out. I just thought that since I was in the neighborhood, I could drop them off.”
Daniel looked over his shoulder again before crouching down to lift the box. “Okay, I’ll tell him that you stopped by.” Turning around, he stepped back into the house and placed the box by the front door. “Was there anything else?” he questioned, looking back towards him.
Adam was starting to get perturbed. He didn’t need Daniel trying to protect Kris. He wasn’t going to hurt him, he just wanted to talk. “Would you mind if I ran upstairs and told him myself?”
“He’s busy,” he said curtly.
Adam let out a loud moan. “I thought you said he was sleeping. Which one is it? Busy or sleeping?”
Daniel followed suit with a loud moan of his own. “He’s got company upstairs, Adam,” he replied neutrally. “I don’t think it’d be such a good idea if you bothered him, if you know what I mean.”
He slowly smiled, expelling a pent-up breath. “Oh…I see…Brian’s with him, right?”
Daniel nodded. “Now you’re catching on.”
Adam pushed past him, patting him on the back. “Don’t worry, I won’t stay long.” He ignored the hand that flew out and grabbed his arm, jerking it away easily.
He took the steps two at a time and then stopped when he was standing directly in front of the door. He heard the front door close and then placed his ear to the door leading into the bedroom to see if he could hear anything going on. Despite Kris’s claims of being celibate, Adam wasn’t about to take any chances.
If it sounded like they were up to anything remotely sexual, he wasn’t about to go barreling through the door. The sight of them even kissing wouldn’t sit well with him. In fact, just the thought of it alone almost made him vomit.
Adam took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Letting them fly open, he lifted his fist and rapped gently on the door a couple of times before opening it.
He was surprised when he didn’t hear anything being said. For sure, he thought that Brian would start screaming at him immediately, but when he didn’t hear anything, he focused on the two bodies lying on the bed.
It took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but once they did, he quickly realized that both Kris and Brian were sound asleep. Kris’s head was on a pillow that was lying in Brian’s lap and Brian’s head was lying back against the headboard with his mouth wide open.
It really was a tender moment. A tender moment that made him sick, but a tender moment, nonetheless. He cleared his throat loudly and then walked over to the TV, turning it off.
“What the hell?” Brian quipped, lurching his head forward.
Kris’s head shot up. “What? What’s wrong?”
Adam turned around and walked over to the foot of the bed.
“What in the hell are you doing here?” Brian questioned while practically pushing Kris’s head off him. “What in the hell is Adam doing here?”
“Adam?” Kris shrieked. “Where?” He turned his head around, rubbing his eyes hard and fast. “Adam’s here?” he asked, squinting through the darkness. When their eyes finally met, he jumped up into a sitting position. “What’re you doing here?”
Adam resisted the urge to say that he was dropping off the box that he’d forgotten at his house earlier. He knew that would probably only cause problems for Kris so instead, he simply smiled and pointed to the door. “I just wanted to drop off a box of your things that you never took with you when you moved out.” Resting his hands on the foot of the bed, he smiled. “I just put the house up for sale and I didn’t want you to lose out on some of your things.”
Brian jumped up off the bed. “And you couldn’t do that during the day? Or better yet, you couldn’t have just sent his things to him?”
Adam shook his head. “Why would I want to spend money for something I could just do myself? I was in the neighborhood,” he lied, shrugging his shoulders. “Daniel said that you were up here. He didn’t tell me that you had company.”
Brian walked over to him and stood before him with his arms crossed. “Did you happen to bring the divorce papers with you?”
Adam stood upright, meeting his stance square on. The question took him by surprise. “What?”
Kris cleared his throat, waiving his hand in the air. “Brian…please….don’t start now.”
Adam waved him off, his brain finally registering what his enemy had said. “Oh…the divorce papers,” he said, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Divorce papers? What divorce papers? When he turned his head and saw the look in Kris’s eyes, he could see the horror. “Actually…that was the other reason why I stopped by.” Lie. He had no clue that he had even been served with divorce papers. “My attorney has seemed to misplace them so you’re gonna have to have your attorney send them again.”
“Okay,” Kris squeaked out.
“Misplaced them, my ass,” Brian huffed. Looking back at Kris, he shook his head. “You don’t actually believe that, do you?”
Adam placed his hand on Brian’s arm. “If you wouldn’t mind, Brian, I need to talk to Kris alone.”
“Over my dead body,” Brian moaned, shaking his head and knocking Adam’s hand off his arm. “Whatever you have to say can be said in front of me. Kris and I don’t have any secrets.”
Now, he really wanted to vomit. Adam turned to Kris. “Are you okay with that?” he questioned. “Because if you don’t mind, I guess I don’t.”
He could’ve sworn he saw Kris’s face turn a distinct shade of green. His eyebrows shot up quickly and his bottom lip immediately tucked in under his teeth. “Actually, Brian,” he said quietly. “I really need to talk to Adam about this divorce and no offense or anything, but it really is something that’s just between the two of us.” He slowly made his way off the bed, placing his hand on Brian’s arm. “I’ll fill you in later, promise.”
Promises…promises…
Brian’s head shot back and forth between Kris’s and Adam’s. He did this for a few moments, before finally dropping his arms down to his side and walking towards the door. “Fine…I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” Before walking out the door, he looked back at Adam. “You have thirty minutes…tops.”
“Thanks,” Adam shot sarcastically. “I’ll try and wrap it up in twenty-nine,” he added, slamming the door shut. “Have a nice life, huh? That’s it? Just have a nice life?”
Rating: R
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events portrayed are fictitious, and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Note: A huge thank you to
bigj52. Thank you for being an amazing beta.Chapter Eight
Adam jumped up from the floor and took a seat on the loveseat. He ran a hand through his hair as he closed his eyes. When he finally looked back down at Kris, his eyes were narrowed and slightly glossed over.
“Don’t look so surprised,” Kris said quietly, sitting up and grabbing his clothes in haste. “I’m not one to cheat.”
“Cheat?” Adam questioned, heaving the word loudly, demanding attention that Kris wasn’t so sure he wanted to give him. “Just what the hell do you think we’re doing? We are not together anymore, Kris,” he barked. “You’re with Brian and what we’re doing is cheating.” Shaking his head in disbelief, he leaned back against the cushions. “And furthermore, if you take your wedding vows so damn seriously, then the fact alone that you’re with Brian…sex or no sex…you’re cheating on me.” Pointing towards Kris, he threw his head forward. “So how can you even say that you don’t cheat?”
Kris stood up and quickly threw his shirt back on, followed by the rest of his clothes. Adam’s stare was making him nervous and uptight. Without acknowledging him any further, Kris turned his back and made his way to the front door.
“That’s right, Kris,” he heaved. “Don’t answer the question. Just walk away.”
Kris stopped dead in his tracks at Adam’s words. How dare he say that to him when he was the one who walked away from their marriage? Turning around, he placed his hands on his hips so that Adam wouldn’t notice how bad he was trembling. “You are the one who walked away, Adam, not me.”
“What!” Adam stood to his feet and marched over to Kris. “The only reason I walked away from anything was because I thought it was the right thing to do. You were an emotional wreck,” he heaved loudly, throwing his hands in the air. “Or have you forgotten that already?”
Kris watched him with amazement. “Look who’s losing control now,” he neutrally replied.
“Don’t fuck with me.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Adam stated, stopping directly in front of Kris. “I gave you the opportunity to try and convince me to stay.” Adam pointed his finger into Kris’s chest. “You chose to remain quiet which led me to believe that what I was doing was what you wanted.” He dropped his hand and swiftly brought it to his head, pulling back what little hair he had. “Are you going to stand here now and try to convince me otherwise?”
Kris’s head dropped down, unable to withstand the intense stare he was under.
“ANSWER ME!”
Adam’s voice caused him to look up. While Adam may have been upset with him in the past, he never raised his voice like he had just moments ago. It truly frightened him. Kris took a step back before answering him. “I didn’t want to give up on us, Adam…but I thought that it was what you wanted,” he whispered, his body shaking uncontrollably.
Adam took in a deep breath while he continued to stare. “I can’t even believe what I’m hearing,” he said sharply. “Why didn’t you say something then?”
“You had already made up your mind.”
“My mind could have been changed, Kris.” He turned around, swearing under his breath. “Do you honestly think that I wanted to give you up?”
There was no longer any use in trying to hold back the tears. Even if Kris would’ve wanted to, he couldn’t have. “Y-you said that you weren’t my s-soul mate, Adam.”
Adam’s body jerked around, his stare becoming more intense. “I only said that because I thought it would help to make things easier for you.”
Kris threw his arms up in the air. “Well, how the hell was I supposed to know that, Adam? You were dumping me!”
“Dumping you?” he questioned. Kris noticed Adam’s body tensing with every moment that ticked by. He looked angry, upset and completely amazed by his admission, but more than anything, he looked hurt. Kris could tell by the look in his eyes. “You know what, Kris?” Adam looked away briefly before returning his gaze to Kris. “Maybe we didn’t know each other as well as we thought. Because if we were really soul mates, you would’ve known that what I was doing was strictly out of love.”
Kris’s eyes remained locked with his.
“For you to even think, let alone say, that I was dumping you is slap in the face and a fucking insult to what we had.” He turned around and again waved his hand in the air. “I think you should go.”
What? Kris’s heart pounded faster. Adam was dismissing him? He wiped away the tears and stood tall. There was no way on earth that Adam was going to dismiss him. He would leave when he was good and ready to and not a minute earlier.
“Go,” Adam repeated louder, heading into the kitchen. “GO!”
Kris’s blood pressure was rising with every ounce of air he took in. He was almost to the point of completely losing it. Taking huge strides towards the kitchen, he clenched his jaw.
“The door is the other way,” Adam commented, throwing open the refrigerator.
“I know where the door is,” he heaved, slamming the refrigerator door shut. “What I don’t know is why you’re getting all pissed off because I don’t have sex with Brian,” he spoke in an even keel. “Are you pissed because you’ve broken your vows and I haven’t?”
Adam’s hands flew up, rubbing his face. Kris could hear how labored his breathing had become in just the few moments that had passed. If he had to guess, Adam was beyond mad. He was ballistic. Stepping back a few paces, he lengthened the distance between them as a precautionary measure.
When Adam’s hands finally flew down to his side, his eyes were no longer teary, they were barely even visible. “Being faithful doesn’t just refer to intercourse, honey,” he shot back angrily. “You’ve been just as unfaithful as I have and if you really want to get down to the details…you were unfaithful long before I ever was.”
Kris couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Adam couldn’t honestly believe what he was saying, could he? It wasn’t true. Gulping back the tears, Kris cleared his throat. “I was never unfaithful to you, Adam. Never. How can you even say that?”
Adam closed his eyes, shaking his head. “I think we have different definitions of infidelity,” he mumbled loudly. “Just go. I really don’t feel like rehashing all the events that took place during our marriage. Do you?”
Kris was unable to answer him.
“Why won’t you just leave?” he shot back, making his way towards Kris. “Am I so damn good in bed that you just can’t bear to leave? Is that it?” He produced a lop-sided smile before backing Kris into the counter and resting his hands, which were on either side of him, against the counter top. “Do you want me to screw you one last time until you finally decide to give it up to Brian?”
Unable to hold back the anger that was building inside him, Kris took his hands and shoved them hard against Adam’s chest. “How dare you!” When Adam didn’t even so much as budge with his push, Kris began pounding his fists in Adam’s chest. “GET OFF ME!”
Adam laughed, moving in even closer. “You don’t mean that and you know it,” he whispered. “You’d like nothing more than for me to bend you over this counter right now and give it to you.” His lips brushed up against Kris’s, nipping at them.
Adam was right. He was so right. Just what the hell was wrong with him anyway? Was he so desperate for physical contact that he’d settle for being bent over the counter and verbally abused? Or was it just that he loved Adam so damn much that he’d take him any way he could have him?
When he couldn’t fight back any longer, his arms wrapped around Adam’s neck, drawing him in closer.
When their lips met, it felt like a bolt of electricity ripping through the very center of him. It was the roughest kiss he’d ever experienced in his life. Adam’s lips were overpowering, sucking and biting at anything that was in their path. It was so erotic that he couldn’t help but grind his nails into Adam’s neck.
Adam inched his way closer until his body was pressing into Kris so forcefully that he thought the cupboards might actually give way. It was insane, he knew, but so intense. Intense like he’d never known. Feeling Adam’s hardness, he groaned loudly before running his tongue along Adam’s lips and cheeks.
Adam took this spare moment to grab Kris and hoist him up onto the counter top. Kris took the exact spare moment to gather his senses. When he finally worked up the courage, moments later, he pushed Adam off in one hard shove. He needed distance between them. He needed to leave. He needed to give Adam a piece of his mind.
“The only reason why I didn’t leave when you asked me,” he said, jumping down off the counter. “Is because I didn’t want to leave without at least telling you that I loved you.” Straightening himself, he looked up and into Adam’s eyes. This wasn’t going where he wanted it to, but it was all he could manage in the moment. “I still love you. I have always loved you and I will never stop loving you. And whether or not you want to believe what I said earlier, it’s the truth. I haven’t and I will not sleep with anyone until we’re officially divorced, because in my eyes, it’s cheating.”
Turning on his heels, he made his way to the front door, leaving Adam speechless in the kitchen. “Have a nice life,” he mumbled loudly, unaware whether Adam heard or not.
________________________________________
The entire way back to his home, Kris bawled. He hadn’t cried so hard in his entire life. Nothing had even come close to comparison. Not even when Adam had walked out on him and not even when government officials showed up on his doorstep over five years ago to tell him about the explosion. It was like nothing he’d ever experienced and over the course of his drive, he repeatedly had to stop because he wasn’t even able to see the road through his tears.
Pulling into the driveway, he seriously wondered how he had even made it home in one piece without causing an accident along the way. That’s how bad it was.
He cried for himself, he cried for Adam and more than anything, he cried for his failed marriage. On one hand, it was a relief to finally be able to get it out in the open, but on the other hand, he felt like it had only made things worse.
He thought he was finally over him.
He thought wrong.
He would never be over him.
Never.
Kris took a deep breath and made his way out of the car and to the front door of his home. He did his best to wipe away the tears, even blowing his nose numerous times to try and cover up that he had been crying. He didn’t want Daniel to question him about anything.
Slowly, he opened up the front door, doing his best to put on a fake smile. Daniel would more than likely be sitting in the exact spot that he’d left him…sitting on the couch and watching TV.
“Hey Kris.”
He lifted his head slowly when he recognized the voice that definitely wasn’t his brother’s.
“I got us a movie, honey.”
Great…
He smiled at Brian, dropping his bag to the floor and shutting the door behind him. “I’m really tired, Brian.”
Brian jumped up from the couch and made his way over to him. “No problem, you can rest your head on my lap and fall asleep.” Brian laughed, reaching out and lifting his head. “Have you been crying?”
Kris bit his bottom lip, fighting back the tears that were once again making their way back. “Yeah…I had a tough day,” he said, trying his best to force a laugh.
“Grrreeaaatt,” Brian sang, pulling Kris in to a hug. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.”
“’Night, you two,” Daniel said, lying down on the couch.
“’Night, buddy,” Brian stated, placing his arm around Kris. Together, they walked up the stairs and into Kris’s bedroom. Brian shut the door behind him and pointed to the bed. “You look exhausted.”
Kris walked over to the bed and flopped down on it, face first. Brian had no idea how true his words were. “I am exhausted.”
“Today was your day off,” he said, placing the DVD in the player. “Didn’t you at least sleep in?”
Kris continued to lie face down into the bed. Grabbing a pillow, he moved it underneath his head and let his head roll to the side to watch what Brian was doing. “I pretty much slept all day.”
“What happened?” he asked, stepping back from the TV with the remote in his hand.
Kris thought back about the episode at Adam’s house and sighed. If Brian even remotely knew what was going on, Brian would blow a gasket. There was no way Kris could be honest with him. It would only set him off and send him into a tirade. “I had a fight with my mom over the phone. You know how mothers can be,” he lied, closing his eyes.
When he felt the bed move, he slowly opened his eyes to see Brian getting into his usual position on the bed. He lifted his head and watched Brian maneuver himself up against the headboard. He knew it was Brian but the only image he could see was of Adam. It was Adam lying up against the headboard, patting his lap to entice him to shift over and lie down on him. It was Adam who smiled and winked at him. It was Adam.
“C’mere, baby,” he whispered.
Kris inched his way towards the waiting lap. It was Brian’s lap but at the same time, it wasn’t Brian at all. It was Adam’s lap he wanted. It was Adam who had his heart.
“Just close your eyes and go to sleep,” he said, running his hands through Kris’s hair.
It was Adam’s hands running through his hair. It was Adam’s hand that slid down his back and rubbed his bottom over the softness of his sweatpants. It was Adam who had given him an orgasm only an hour earlier.
It was Adam.
**********
Adam drove like a madman the entire way to Kris’s house. After he’d left and he’d broken down, he came to the realization that if he couldn’t have Kris’s heart, he’d settle for what he could have. What he wanted most was for Kris to be in his life again. But if he couldn’t have that, he would take whatever Kris would give.
He loved Kris. He would always love Kris. And he would always be there for Kris. And if it meant only being there for Kris where sex was concerned, then so be it. At least it was something.
Kris’s final words before leaving the house cut through him deeply. He knew Kris loved him. He never doubted that. What they had and always would have was honest love at first sight. Kris’d said those words himself in the interview with Ellen. And after hearing what he’d said earlier that late afternoon, it just confirmed what Adam had always suspected.
He gave up on Kris too soon.
He walked away, forcing Kris right into Brian’s waiting arms.
He knew it then, he knew it now and even though it may have been too late to change it, he wasn’t about to let Kris get on with his life without him knowing it.
Pulling up in front of Kris’s house, Adam looked up to his bedroom window almost immediately and noticed that the lights were off in his bedroom. It was obvious though, that he was watching TV by the blue light that illuminated the darkness.
Gathering up his courage, he stepped out of his vehicle and right up onto the porch. Knocking twice, he took a step back and waited.
When the door flew open, Adam brought his hand up, waving it in greeting. “Hey, Daniel.”
“Adam,” he said carefully, turning to look behind his shoulder. “What’re you doing here?” He took a step outside. “My brother’s upstairs sleeping.”
Adam shrugged his shoulders. “You sure about that? He just left my place a little over forty-five minutes ago.”
“Your place?” Daniel shook his head in disbelief. “He was at Katy and Cale’s house tonight.”
Adam shrugged again, not aware of anything of the sort. “He stopped by my house after that, because like I said earlier, he just left my place.”
Daniel looked nervous, his head repeatedly glancing over his shoulder.
“Is something wrong, Daniel?” Adam pointed to the box on the porch. “I just wanted to drop off a box of his things that he left behind.”
Daniel remained speechless.
Adam decided to elaborate. “I just put my place on the market and there were a few items that your brother didn’t pack up when he moved out. I just thought that since I was in the neighborhood, I could drop them off.”
Daniel looked over his shoulder again before crouching down to lift the box. “Okay, I’ll tell him that you stopped by.” Turning around, he stepped back into the house and placed the box by the front door. “Was there anything else?” he questioned, looking back towards him.
Adam was starting to get perturbed. He didn’t need Daniel trying to protect Kris. He wasn’t going to hurt him, he just wanted to talk. “Would you mind if I ran upstairs and told him myself?”
“He’s busy,” he said curtly.
Adam let out a loud moan. “I thought you said he was sleeping. Which one is it? Busy or sleeping?”
Daniel followed suit with a loud moan of his own. “He’s got company upstairs, Adam,” he replied neutrally. “I don’t think it’d be such a good idea if you bothered him, if you know what I mean.”
He slowly smiled, expelling a pent-up breath. “Oh…I see…Brian’s with him, right?”
Daniel nodded. “Now you’re catching on.”
Adam pushed past him, patting him on the back. “Don’t worry, I won’t stay long.” He ignored the hand that flew out and grabbed his arm, jerking it away easily.
He took the steps two at a time and then stopped when he was standing directly in front of the door. He heard the front door close and then placed his ear to the door leading into the bedroom to see if he could hear anything going on. Despite Kris’s claims of being celibate, Adam wasn’t about to take any chances.
If it sounded like they were up to anything remotely sexual, he wasn’t about to go barreling through the door. The sight of them even kissing wouldn’t sit well with him. In fact, just the thought of it alone almost made him vomit.
Adam took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Letting them fly open, he lifted his fist and rapped gently on the door a couple of times before opening it.
He was surprised when he didn’t hear anything being said. For sure, he thought that Brian would start screaming at him immediately, but when he didn’t hear anything, he focused on the two bodies lying on the bed.
It took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but once they did, he quickly realized that both Kris and Brian were sound asleep. Kris’s head was on a pillow that was lying in Brian’s lap and Brian’s head was lying back against the headboard with his mouth wide open.
It really was a tender moment. A tender moment that made him sick, but a tender moment, nonetheless. He cleared his throat loudly and then walked over to the TV, turning it off.
“What the hell?” Brian quipped, lurching his head forward.
Kris’s head shot up. “What? What’s wrong?”
Adam turned around and walked over to the foot of the bed.
“What in the hell are you doing here?” Brian questioned while practically pushing Kris’s head off him. “What in the hell is Adam doing here?”
“Adam?” Kris shrieked. “Where?” He turned his head around, rubbing his eyes hard and fast. “Adam’s here?” he asked, squinting through the darkness. When their eyes finally met, he jumped up into a sitting position. “What’re you doing here?”
Adam resisted the urge to say that he was dropping off the box that he’d forgotten at his house earlier. He knew that would probably only cause problems for Kris so instead, he simply smiled and pointed to the door. “I just wanted to drop off a box of your things that you never took with you when you moved out.” Resting his hands on the foot of the bed, he smiled. “I just put the house up for sale and I didn’t want you to lose out on some of your things.”
Brian jumped up off the bed. “And you couldn’t do that during the day? Or better yet, you couldn’t have just sent his things to him?”
Adam shook his head. “Why would I want to spend money for something I could just do myself? I was in the neighborhood,” he lied, shrugging his shoulders. “Daniel said that you were up here. He didn’t tell me that you had company.”
Brian walked over to him and stood before him with his arms crossed. “Did you happen to bring the divorce papers with you?”
Adam stood upright, meeting his stance square on. The question took him by surprise. “What?”
Kris cleared his throat, waiving his hand in the air. “Brian…please….don’t start now.”
Adam waved him off, his brain finally registering what his enemy had said. “Oh…the divorce papers,” he said, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Divorce papers? What divorce papers? When he turned his head and saw the look in Kris’s eyes, he could see the horror. “Actually…that was the other reason why I stopped by.” Lie. He had no clue that he had even been served with divorce papers. “My attorney has seemed to misplace them so you’re gonna have to have your attorney send them again.”
“Okay,” Kris squeaked out.
“Misplaced them, my ass,” Brian huffed. Looking back at Kris, he shook his head. “You don’t actually believe that, do you?”
Adam placed his hand on Brian’s arm. “If you wouldn’t mind, Brian, I need to talk to Kris alone.”
“Over my dead body,” Brian moaned, shaking his head and knocking Adam’s hand off his arm. “Whatever you have to say can be said in front of me. Kris and I don’t have any secrets.”
Now, he really wanted to vomit. Adam turned to Kris. “Are you okay with that?” he questioned. “Because if you don’t mind, I guess I don’t.”
He could’ve sworn he saw Kris’s face turn a distinct shade of green. His eyebrows shot up quickly and his bottom lip immediately tucked in under his teeth. “Actually, Brian,” he said quietly. “I really need to talk to Adam about this divorce and no offense or anything, but it really is something that’s just between the two of us.” He slowly made his way off the bed, placing his hand on Brian’s arm. “I’ll fill you in later, promise.”
Promises…promises…
Brian’s head shot back and forth between Kris’s and Adam’s. He did this for a few moments, before finally dropping his arms down to his side and walking towards the door. “Fine…I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” Before walking out the door, he looked back at Adam. “You have thirty minutes…tops.”
“Thanks,” Adam shot sarcastically. “I’ll try and wrap it up in twenty-nine,” he added, slamming the door shut. “Have a nice life, huh? That’s it? Just have a nice life?”