Leap of Faith - Chapter 16

[something_rare]

Title: Leap of Faith
Pairing: Jensen Ackles /Jared Padalecki (eventually), Mentions of Jensen/OMC, Jared/OMC and Others
Other Characters: Tom Welling, Chris Kane, Danneel Harris, Misha Collins
Rating: NC17
Word Count: 2,785
Disclaimer: 100% Pure Fiction
Note: None of this would be possible and readable without my awesome beta, bigj52   . I learn from you everyday.
Summery: AU / Everybody has a dream. Some people make their dreams come true. Some just let their life slip by thinking about it.





Chapter 16:


When Jared woke up the next morning, Jensen was still fast asleep. Jared took a look at the man lying beside him, and his thoughts drifted back to the night before. It had been something totally new to him and on a different level - a totally different experience from the one he shared with Patrick. For one, it had not been a one-sided fuck as it had been with Patrick.  He had been careful the whole time, concerned whether he was hurting Jensen or not.  Secondly, they had cuddled afterwards, something Jared had never done, not with anyone, ever.  It was all so new to him and yet Jared had felt the most comfortable that he had ever been in his life.  Jared lay there, feeling awkward, unsure and scared.  He did not know what was expected of him. He was not sure where they were going from there. Finally he sat up in bed, hurriedly pulled on his boxers and a t-shirt.  He took one look back at Jensen and then made his way to the adjoining door, opening it and without looking back, gently closed it.

Later that morning as he heard the shower in Jensen’s room turn off, he finally found the nerve to walk to Jensen’s door and knock.

"Hi," Jared said timidly, not quite looking Jensen straight in the eye.

"Hey," Jensen replied.

"I’m going down for breakfast. Do you want me to bring you back something?"

"Oh," Jensen said, shocked, "No thanks, I'll just go down with you."

"OK.  Well, then I'm going to make a few phone calls to check our flight reservations for tomorrow. I'll meet you downstairs,"

As soon as Jensen closed the door, he ran to the phone and called Chris.

He answered on the third ring.

"What?" Chris’ voice sounded groggy as if he had just woken up.

"Chris? I’ve got to talk to you."

"Now?"

"This is an emergency, Chris," Jensen said as he heard Chris sigh.

"OK. So what's so fucking important you have to call me at nine on a Sunday morning?"

Jensen apologized before telling Chris about the details of his encounter with Jared.

"Holy shit!” was Chris’s only response.

"Yeah, I know."

"OK! OK! Just calm down, Jen, OK? Jared is straight. He just doesn't have the capacity to look at things the way we do."

"Doesn't fucking a gay man make him not so straight?"

"Who knows? It might have been a one-time thing for him."

"Thanks," Jensen whispered, dejected.

"I didn't mean it like that, babe.  It's just that you have to prepare for the worst.  Jared's probably all messed up right now.  He just fucked his best friend; it's a huge fucking step for him."

"I know that, but how the hell does he think I feel?"

"You guys need to sit and talk about this. Just…go and talk to him and call me tonight, OK?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, I’ve got company today."

"Who?"

"None of your business!  I’m going back to bed. Just call me, OK?

"Fine!"

"Good luck, Jenny," Chris said and hung up.

"Thanks."

Jensen walked to the hotel restaurant and sat across from Jared, who was eating breadfruit and salt fish. Not once did Jared look up from his plate to acknowledge Jensen. Jensen noticed that Jared was trying really hard to avoid him. Jared kept looking at the tourists and strangers while Jensen poured himself a cup of coffee. 

"So what time do we leave?" Jensen asked, finally breaking the unnerving silence.

"Huh?"

"The flight? When is it?"

"Oh, um...I don't know."

"I thought you said you would call."

"Yeah but, uh, I was thinking I would catch a flight back tonight.  Things aren't going so well with production on the album."

Jensen knew that was a total lie. Jared was just seeking a way out. He was planning on leaving the island, probably without him.

"Is this about last night?"

Jensen noticed Jared’s hand shaking as he reached for his orange juice. The glass slipped from Jared’s fingers and spilled on the table. Jared cursed under his breath as he watched the juice slowly spreading all over the table.

"Shit!"  Jared suddenly called out, hissing his teeth as he grabbed his napkin and dabbed at it, again avoiding looking at Jensen.

Jensen did not think he could take this anymore. He threw his napkin on the table, and walked out of the restaurant back to his room, and spent the rest of the day locked up there.

At around six that evening a knock woke him up. He dragged himself out of bed and walked to the door and opened it. Jared stood in front of him, dressed in a polo shirt and Jeans.

"What's going on?"

"I’ve booked a nine-thirty flight tonight."

"What happened to the reservations for tomorrow?"

"I still have them. If you want to go back tomorrow it's yours but I’ve got to get back tonight."

"Um, OK. Have a safe flight," Jensen said without any emotion evident in his voice. Jared simply nodded as he walked away and to his own room. He knew he had turned that dream vacation into a living Hell for both of them. He knew he was being selfish, but at the same time he was confused and uncertain.  At the very back of his mind, he was sure that Jensen was hurting too but as long as he kept that tidbit way back there, Jared knew he would not have to confront it, at least not for the moment,.


 _______________________________


"Chris!" Jensen called as he spotted Chris in the terminal searching the countless faces, waiting for Jensen to arrive.

"Chris!"  He spotted Jensen and walked up to his friend, embracing him tightly, "You OK?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I can see it in your eyes."

Jensen did not know what to answer, and apparently Chris did not expect an answer.

"Don't worry.  I'm taking you home with me and then we're going to order some food and then we'll talk." 

Jensen just nodded and followed alongside Chris, his luggage in tow.

Next to Chris’s car stood a familiar man.  He turned back to Jensen and smiled before taking off. Jensen looked at Chris quizzically, as the man came up to Jensen, stretching out his hand.

"Hi Jensen.”

“Hi Dr.Collins,” Jensen said, confused, which made Misha laugh.

“Just call me Misha."

“Yeah, OK.”

“Let me put your suitcase in the trunk and then we can be on our way.”

Chris and Jensen both nodded.

"Chris is so fond of you," Misha whispered as he watched Chris loading the luggage in the car.

"So he says."

"Well, I can testify to that.  Everything we talk about is ‘Jensen this’ and ‘Jensen that’ and I have to admit that sometimes I'm jealous." 

Jensen wanted to laugh. This man was drop-dead gorgeous. What the hell did he have to be jealous about?

"Don't be, Misha. It's not like that, trust me," Jensen said and Misha smiled at him.

"I never got to thank you for what you did for Chris. You really helped him."

"I just did my job. If it wasn't me, it would have been another doctor. I'm just glad I was the one that got his case."

"Ready to go?" 

Chris asked, looking from Jensen to Misha and then back to Jensen again.

"Definitely," Misha answered.

"Sure," replied Jensen.

"Ok, let's hit the road.”

"I have to make a detour first," Chris said as he looked through the rear-view mirror at Jensen who was sitting in the back seat.

"Where?"

Chris glanced in Misha’s direction and smiled.

"Oh," was all Jensen said.

Soon Chris stopped the car in front of a big house, putting it into ‘park’ and then exited via the drivers' door.

Jensen watched through the rearview mirror as Chris embraced Misha and then kissed him on the lips.  It was not as passionate as Chris usually was and Jensen wondered why. He watched as Misha whispered something into Chris’s ear and then kissed him again.  They were definitely enjoying themselves.

Jensen started talking as soon as Misha walked in the house and Chris got back into the car.

“He is a nice guy.”

“Yes.”

“Good looking.”

“Uh- Huh.”

“Great body.”

“Yup.”

"You like him?"

“He's a nice guy.”

“Is that it?”

“What do you want me to say Jensen?”

“He likes you a lot.”

“I know.”

“So what are you going do about it?”

“Nothing.  It will blow over, trust me.”

“How can you be so nonchalant about the whole thing? Don't you even want to know how it might feel to let yourself go with someone?"

“Nope! It’s not like that solution ever worked in your case. I think I am going to stay clear," Chris said with a grin. Jensen stayed quiet, not finding the whole situation a bit funny. Chris noticed the change in his friend.

"I'm sorry I said that Jen. I didn't mean it."

"I know," Jensen whispered.

“I'm sure things will work themselves out for you and Jared, they always do."

"I don't think so Chris. Not this time. I think it’s over between us."

"Hey! Don't be like that.  Just because you guys slept together doesn't mean that you can't be friends.  I mean look at us."

“It's not the same the thing and you know it.”

"Just try to keep in mind how you felt when you were coming out for the first time.”

"It doesn't matter anyway. I’m done with it, all of it."

"What?"

"I said I’m done with it.  It's just too much to deal with."

The rest of the drive to Chris’s place was in silence.

 _______________________________


The phone ring woke Jensen up. His hand instinctively went to pick up the phone, forgetting where he was.

“Hello?”

That was when Jensen remembered he was at Chris’s place and on his phone. He knew he should hang up but also knew they would have heard the click if he did.

"Hey! Am I calling too early?" Jensen recognized Misha’s voice.

"No, I'm up.  What’s up?"

"Well, I….uh…I … I called to let you know that my parents are in town for the rest of the week."

"That's nice!"

"Yeah, well I… um… I thought that maybe we could…..um cancel our date Saturday night."

"No problem.  You should spend that time with your family.”

"Yeah. I want to take them sightseeing on Saturday morning and then to a play later on in the evening…."

"Good plan,” Chris interrupted.

"I was …I was hoping that, you'd like to come along."

Jensen flinched. He knew there was no happy ending to this conversation.

"Chris?" asked Misha, “Are you there?”

"Yeah. What… what did you say?"

"Do you want to meet my family, Chris?"

"I don't know, Misha."

"I know it's a big step, but I want you to meet them. I’ve…I’ve told them all about you."

Uh oh! You’re scaring him, Misha.

"I...I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because,-"

"Because?"

"Because Jensen needs me!" 

What?! Chris, buddy, you and I have to have a talk about this!

“Oh,” Misha said dejected, “Maybe some other time then?”

“Yeah, OK.  Shouldn't you be on call, Misha? It’s almost one.”

“Yeah, I didn't realize it was so late.  I'll talk to you later.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Hastily Jensen put the phone back and grabbed a magazine from the nightstand, pretending to be reading it.

“Next time, at least keep your fucking breathing down, alright? I could hear you from start to finish,” Chris yelled as he walked into the guest room where Jensen was supposed to be sleeping.

"Chris, I,-"

"Save it, Jensen. I’m not in the fucking mood to listen to your fucking lectures, alright?"

"Why didn't you say ‘yes’?"

"Because I didn’t want to."

"Chris!"

"What?"

"You're a fucking jerk!” Jensen said with a hint of a smile in his voice.

"I know," Chris said as he sat down on the bed, next to Jensen.

"I think he loves you."

"I know."

"Then why are you being such a jerk to him?"

"Because I am a jerk and the sooner he realizes that, the better. He won’t get hurt that way."

"Why does it have to be like that, Chris?"

"Misha wants more from me than I'm willing to give, Jensen."

"I thought you liked him."

"I do, OK? I do, but I don't want to meet his fucking parents. I’m not going to let you talk me into it either!" Chris said and walked out again.

Jensen knew what Misha was going through, wanting someone who did not want him back, and he hated Chris as much as he hated Jared for treating someone as sweet and caring as Misha like that. Why did men have to be such jerks?

Half an hour later Jensen and Chris were eating brunch and watching MTV’s interview with Adam Lambert.

"Dude, he is one hot-looking bastard!"

Jensen laughed at Chris’s comment and shook his head.

"Yeah, if you like that type,” Chris looked at Jensen, surprised.

"You don't think he's hot?"

"I didn't say that.  I just said if that's what floats your boat..."

"Dude! No wonder we didn't work out!" 

Jensen did not know why those words hurt him. He suddenly went quiet.

"I didn't mean it, man! You know that."

"Yeah," Jensen sighed and took a sip of his coffee.

"We never really talked about it, did we?"

"Chris! Just… let it go."

Jensen was not sure he wanted to know the real reason why he was rejected by Chris in the first place.

"Come on, Jensen."

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"I've never gotten over the way I treated you or your feelings, you know?" Chris said, suddenly sounding so serious.

"It's OK,-"

"No! It's not!  I was a fucking asshole and I just can’t figure out how you can stay in the same room with me."

"Because you’re my friend, dude. That’s what friends do for each other."

“Yeah. You did it for me, you did it for Jared. You must really love him."

"I love you too, Chris."

"Smooth, Jensen, really smooth! I’m not going to let you change the subject though,” Chris said and Jensen groaned trying hard not to blush, “Your face gets all red and your eyes shine whenever you hear his name or talk about him. Just like now!”

"Stop it, man! You're embarrassing me."

“Jensen?”

"Yeah?”

“Is that how I look when I talk about Misha?"

"No, you don't."

"I thought so,” whispered Chris and for a moment Jensen thought he recognized hurt in Chris’s eyes, “He loves me, you know. He told me so."

"When?"

"Last week."

"What did you say?"

"I said ‘thanks’."

“Thanks?! You said ‘thanks’?!”

"What the fuck was I supposed to do? I was petrified!”

"Of what?! He just told you how he felt, that’s all! It’s called communication, dude! You do that when you are in a relationship.”

"I’m NOT in a fucking relationship with anybody!  We fucked a few times and went out for dinner once or twice, that's it!"

"You're an asshole, Chris!" Jensen said as he got up from the chair and walked into the guestroom with Chris right on his heels.

"Why are you all bent out of shape about this?  It has nothing to do with you."

"I just don't like seeing guys like Misha get fucked over because guys like you can't make up their fucking minds."

"Oh! Give me a fucking break!  This isn't even about me and Misha! It’s about you and Jared!"

"Fuck off, Chris! Fuck you and fuck Jared! You and Jared deserve each other.  Neither of you can make up your fucking mind, and for that, people like Misha and I have to suffer."

"Come on, man! Why do you even care about Misha? You don’t even know him.”

"He saved your life, Chris. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?  The least you could do is to be a fucking man and tell him you're not interested."

"Well, thank you for your advice, Jensen, but I don't need it. You don’t have half my experience. You…you just don’t know what you’re talking about, OK? Plus, I think I know what I’m doing.”

When Jensen stayed quiet Chris just shook his head.

“Jensen?”

“Fine! But I want you to call Misha and tell him what's up, OK?

"Fine, but two can play this game. So why don’t you tell Jared what the deal is here? I want to hear you tell him what's up." 

Jensen groaned.

"Fine."

"Fine."

Jensen reached for the phone and handed it to Chris.

“Now?” Chris asked surprised.

“Right now!”



Chapter 17