Unreciprocated - Chapter 1
Apr. 2nd, 2010 04:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
something_rareTitle: Unreciprocated (1/?)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
something_rare
Beta:bigj52, who has always been a great support and friend. Thank you, Judy, for your tirelessness in reviewing, your pep talks and everything else. You rock!
Graphics:something_rare
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Brad/Adam
Warnings: Graphic Sex (Not much in this chapter though)
Word Count: ~ 8400
Disclaimer: This story is a written for entertainment only. It is a work of fiction and I make no claims of ownership on any of the involved entities. All real people are converted into fictional characters for this story, and nothing is either implied or assumed about their lives, thoughts, or actions.
Summary: After five years Brad still has feelings for Adam.
Brad ran his finger around the edge of his glass and sighed. He didn't want to be there, but Adam had insisted that he came, and Brad had eventually given in. Now there he was, alone in a sea of people. He looked around. Cass and Danielle sat at a table, looking almost as bored as he felt. Tommy was on the dance floor, grinding away with a redhead. He saw Brad looking and shot him a grin.
‘Well, at least someone is enjoying himself', Brad thought before turning to look for his best friend.
Brad heard a familiar cackle, and looked up to see Adam flirting wildly with a couple of boys who were glowing with the attention.
'Make that two' Brad sighed again as he watched Adam pull two boys onto the dance floor and begin grinding with them. He looked good; he was in the tightest pair of leather pants Brad had ever seen. The pants fit him like a second skin, and that made Brad wonder if Adam was wearing anything under them. He concluded that he probably wasn't and Brad shifted uncomfortably as he felt his groin begin to react.
He stared as Adam moved his body to the music. He looked absolutely great, fuckable. Brad shook images of the past out of his head. That was all in the past. Now, Adam was just his friend, his best friend. Brad smiled to himself. Adam was finally happy. His life was finally going in the direction he had always wanted it to go. He was almost back to the person Brad had known before. Before Brad had cheated on him, before he had betrayed his trust, before he had trampled all over his heart. Adam was much better now, and Brad was grateful for that, even if that meant he could not have much of a role in Adam’s life anymore. Adam was happy and that was enough. Suddenly Brad realized as he stood transfixed by his friend dancing, that he was still just as much in love with his best friend, if not more so, than he had ever been.
Snapping out of his reverie, Brad downed the rest of his drink and went in search of the bar, needing to get away from Adam before he walked over there, spun him around and kissed him. He knew better than that. Had more self-control, something he had developed after months of struggling with the temptation of calling Adam in the middle of the night, of showing up at Adam’s door and begging him to take him back. He had told himself a million times that he had been stupid enough to ruin everything between them and he couldn’t afford to have those feelings for Adam anymore. He had tried to convince himself that he had to come to terms with the fact that he and Adam were over for good, and that he should find somebody else. He had tried, he really had, but every relationship had been doomed from the start because none of them were Adam.
Suddenly he was clapped on the back, and he jumped.
"Jumpy much?" Danielle asked as she slipped onto the stool next to her friend.
"Sorry," Brad replied, looking over at her. Danielle frowned at the look in Brad's eyes, recognizing it instantly. Brad gave her a half smile and picked up the shot glass in front of him, downing it, grimacing as the liquid burnt its’ way down his throat.
"You okay?" Danielle asked. Brad looked at her but his attention was drawn to Adam, who was visible over Danielle's shoulder. Danielle realized Brad wasn't looking at her and turned to see what had caught his attention. Seeing Adam, Danielle sighed, and turned back to Brad.
"Don't torture yourself."
Brad looked back at his friend and smiled ruefully.
"Can't help it."
Danielle shook her head sadly. She knew she couldn't fix Brad's problem, that she would have to continue to stand by and watch as he tortured himself with an unreciprocated love, only able to offer support, and a shoulder to cry on when it all became too much to bear.
Danielle turned and focused on the dance floor, easily spotting Adam in the crowd. Brad had become more and more withdrawn recently and spent too much time lost in his own thoughts. Danielle, Alan and Cassidy had noticed and discussed it privately, aware of Brad's feelings, but unable to find a resolution. She turned back to Brad, who was still staring at Adam.
"You wanna blow this party and go home?" Brad looked at her and shrugged. He knew Danielle was trying to help him, but he also knew he was a hopeless case.
"No, I'm gonna stick around for a bit," He glanced over to the exit, spotting two familiar figures there.
"It looks like Cassidy and Alan are ready to leave as well. Why don't you go back with them?" Danielle eyed him warily.
"Look Danny, I'll be okay, I swear. I've managed to handle it for all these months, I can handle it for one more night, okay?" Danielle stood up reluctantly and moved away from the bar.
"Okay sweetheart, but if you need me you know where I am."
"Thanks D."
Danielle just nodded and smiled before disappearing into the crowd to catch up with Cassidy and Alan.
Danielle reached her friends and as they got into Cassidy’s car they turned to look at her with a question in their eyes. Danielle shrugged and shook her head, "He wanted to stay."
Cassidy shook his head in disbelief, "I wish we could do something. He's getting worse every day."
Alan spoke up as well, "I know, Cass. At first I thought it was only natural for him to cling to the last shreds of their relationship, but it’s been months since their breakup. Brad still shows no sign of snapping out of it and I'm starting to get worried."
"Starting?" Danielle said, "I've been worried about this for months, ever since it became obvious that Brad was still truly in love with Adam."
Cassidy nodded in agreement, "I know Danny, but what can we do? We've tried everything, including setting him up with people and yet he keeps coming back to Adam. I guess we've done all we can do to help. Maybe we just have to keep supporting him and let things work out for themselves."
They looked at each other, knowing deep down that really, it was all they could do. They spent the remainder of the trip in silence, all trying to find another solution to their friend’s problem.
Back at the club, Brad turned back to the bar and ordered a bottle of water; he didn't feel like getting drunk. He lifted the bottle to his lips and took a swig. He continued to stare at the people on the dance floor, looking but not really seeing, as he became lost in his own thoughts once again. He didn't see Adam approach him, nor did he react, until he felt the bottle he had been holding being removed from his hand. He suddenly realized that Adam was standing in front of him, and watched as he lifted Brad's drink to his lips and downed the remainder in one swift gulp before licking his lips.
"Thanks baby, I needed that," Adam smirked.
Brad swallowed hard, trying desperately not to react to Adam's closeness, and the action of his tongue. However, the tightening in his pants announced to him that he was failing miserably.
A concerned look flickered across Adam's face, as he picked up on Brad's internal struggle, unsure of the cause.
"C'mon sugar lips, this party sucks. Let's get outta here."
"I thought you were gonna be getting some action tonight," Brad smiled. Adam looked at Brad and grinned.
"What! Those boys, no, they just want to be able to say they fucked Adam Lambert, and you know I don't want to deal with that. I want to go before they come looking for me."
Brad laughed at Adam's reasoning and nodded.
"Cool. Come on, I’ll take you home," Adam said, before reaching behind Brad to place the empty bottle on the bar. As Adam leaned into him, Brad took a sharp breath, hoping Adam didn't feel his erection, and yet, at the same time, wishing for him to stay close as his senses were assaulted with Adam's smell and touch. Adam backed off and grabbed Brad's hand, pulling him towards the exit, apparently having not noticed at all.
Outside the club the cold night air quickly chilled Brad, and he shivered. Behind him Adam called for his pickup before pocketing his cell. He frowned as Brad wrapped his arms around himself; seemingly as much to comfort himself as to keep himself warm. Adam knew Brad well enough to know that something was seriously wrong with Brad, but he wasn't sure what it was. He walked up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, frowning again when Brad jumped at the contact.
"Talk to me, Brad. What's wrong?"
Brad turned slightly towards Adam, taking in the concerned look on his face.
"It's nothing, girlfriend, I'm fine."
At that moment Adam’s ride came into the view, and Brad jumped in, trying to escape from further questioning. Adam got in as well, and sat across from his friend, who was picking at invisible lint on his slacks. The car started moving, and Adam stared out of the window at the passing scenery, unwilling to push his friend, knowing it would do no good.
Brad breathed a small sigh of relief when it seemed that Adam wasn't going to push him, and he rested his head against the back of the seat and closed his eyes. Adam looked at Brad's reflection in the window and sighed as well. He knew that something was wrong. He was sure of it. He tried to think back over the past few months. He had known that something had been bothering Brad for a long time. At first he had assumed that it had something to do with their awkward relationship after their breakup and decided they both needed some time to get over the fact that even though they were no longer a couple, they were still best friends. Then their private pictures had surfaced on the internet during the competition and Adam had concluded that Brad had been beating himself up for not being able to help Adam through those problems. But now, even though Idol was over and the media had stopped discussing and commenting on those pictures, and even though he was doing great in his career, Brad's depression had remained. Adam knew that his best friend was beating himself up over something, but had the distinct sense that all those problems could only be a part of it.
Adam turned and looked at his best friend. Brad was still leaning back in his seat, eyes closed, seemingly at rest, but the tightness of Brad's features and the way he held his body told Adam that Brad was anything but relaxed. Brad appeared to be okay, and waved people off whenever he was asked what was wrong, but Adam knew that boy. He knew him well enough to know that something was eating at him. He knew that Brad had always been hiding a part of himself from people, from almost anyone but Adam, so he felt like he should have been the first person to know what was wrong with Brad.
Adam smiled as he considered Brad's nature. He was a sweet, caring guy with a heart that was almost too big for his own good. He cared a little too much sometimes about everything, even the comments made in the press after those pictures surfacing. It seemed that he would brush off a compliment, yet he took any criticism to heart, caring too much about irrelevant reporters’ comments, even what Adam’s fans were saying on the internet about him and not focusing enough on what those close to him were saying. ‘Maybe that was it’, he thought. Yeah, maybe. There had been some talk recently; people had criticized Brad for refusing to discuss his personal life with the media. Some people had even accused Brad of being a gold digger, an attention whore, of being the one publishing those pictures to the public in the first place. Adam knew that one of the things most likely to hurt Brad was the implication that he was not a good friend. Adam had not known any of this until recently, and he had been so angry that he was ready to blast someone for even making the suggestion that Brad was after his money or his fame, at least, that was until Brad had come in and calmed him down. He had told him that it didn't matter; that as long as Adam knew that it wasn't true then it shouldn't matter and Adam had let it drop.
He smiled at this. Brad was the only one who could do that, could keep him level-headed. No one else had that effect on him. Others would just wind him up further, but Brad could calm him with a few soft words, sometimes even just a sympathetic look, and Adam would calm down. It was like they were two halves of the same coin, one balancing out the other.
Just then the car slowed to a stop, and a knock on the glass let them know that they had arrived. Brad jumped up and shot out of the car, as if trying to escape, and Adam watched his retreating back as he followed Brad.
With a hasty ‘goodbye’ and a wave over his shoulder, Brad walked inside his building.
Brad's thoughts swam as he slumped against the back wall of the elevator on the way up to his apartment. He knew that it looked bad, him bolting like that, but he just couldn't stand it any longer. The whole way back in the car, Brad had been a mass of mixed emotions. He knew that Adam was worried about him, that he wanted to help, and that he was sad because he thought he was the cause. Brad smiled to himself at that. Adam was partly right in thinking that he was one of the reasons, but it was not the reason that he thought. The lift opened onto his floor, and Brad headed straight for his apartment, not wanting to deal with any of the neighbors at that moment.
He popped the key into the lock and turned the handle, opening the door. He slipped inside and closed the door, locking it behind him, before heading straight for the bedroom. He lay on his bed, breathing deeply, trying to regain his composure. The ride had been almost too much. In that confined space, Brad had felt surrounded by Adam. He could feel his presence, the weight of his stare, the smell of his cologne combined with his sweat. He could almost sense what Adam was thinking, and he knew Adam was worrying about him. All those things had built up inside of Brad, until he thought that he was going to explode. That was why he ran. He just couldn't take one more minute of that without breaking down and confessing to Adam that he still had feelings for him and that was the one thing that he just couldn't do. It's not that Adam would not understand, he would say he understood and that he admired Brad for being brave and honest about his feelings. He already knew that. It was just that he didn't want to ruin their friendship. He did not want to make things awkward between them, not after all their efforts to keep their friendship the way it was. Deep down Brad was simply petrified that Adam would turn away from him if he knew he was still in love with him, and so he wouldn't tell him. Better to still be in love from afar, he thought, than to risk losing Adam altogether.
In the silence of his room, Brad could hear a faint ding as the elevator door opened, and someone stepped out onto their floor. He instantly knew it was Adam. Ever since they met, Brad had always had the ability to sense Adam’s presence when he was around, even if out of his sight, so he knew Adam was somewhere outside his door. He listened as the soft footsteps came closer to his apartment. Suddenly they stopped, right outside his door, and he held his breath. He didn't think that he was composed enough to deal with Adam yet, and he was frightened that Adam would push him for answers that he wasn't willing to give.
Then he heard the footsteps move away, and a moment later the sound of the elevator door opening then closing. Brad let out the breath he was still holding in a long whoosh.
Thank God Adam is so understanding!
Brad knew that Adam would not push unless he really had to, and as long as Brad appeared to be doing okay, then he would respect Brad's right to privacy. Brad was determined to make an effort, and to make sure that Adam was not blaming himself for Brad's problems.
Adam slumped down on his bed. Once Brad left him in such haste and with a barely audible goodbye, he knew he had to see Brad, to talk to him. He had wanted to go to Brad, to demand answers, and he had even gone after him, even to Brad’s floor, right outside Brad’s door but he just couldn't. He had stood outside Brad's apartment, hand raised, ready to knock, but he just couldn't make himself do it. He knew that unless Brad was willing to talk, it would only make things worse, and Brad seemed to have enough problems without fighting with Adam as well. No, Adam needed to support Brad through this... this, whatever it was, and make sure that he was the best friend to Brad that he had obviously failed to be recently.
Yet again Adam looked back on his past behavior with disdain; he had been too wrapped up in his own life, his own adventure during Idol to really notice the effect of his behavior on people around him. He couldn't believe what a complete bastard he had been to Brad after the photos incident. Adam shook his head. He had been so horrible to him. Brad had always been there for him, right from the start, and no matter what Adam said or did, he knew that Brad would always be there. Yet looking back on those days, he knew he had failed to be there for Brad the way he should have been. He knew how tough things had been for Brad and yet he was too busy with his own life and his own career that he had not cared enough about Brad. He couldn't believe that Brad hadn't turned his back on him. Hell, even he wouldn't have put up with that much shit.
That was just Brad, he was special. Adam sighed. Yeah, Brad was really special, and he deserved better than what he got. Brad was the sweetest, kindest, most lovable person he knew; yet even he, Brad’s ex and now supposedly his best friend, had dumped on him on more than one occasion. Reluctantly he decided that by laying there overanalyzing things he wasn't going to solve anything tonight, and he was going to have to leave it till morning. Maybe Danielle or Cassidy would know what the problem was, maybe all he needed was a good night’s sleep and everything would be better.... Maybe. He eventually drifted into a restless sleep, thinking of Brad.
A ringing sound woke Brad, and he groaned as he rolled over in the bed, getting tangled in the sheets in the process, to answer the phone.
"Morning Mr.Cheeks. Brunch at the café in thirty minutes."
"Okay Cass," Brad answered, before hanging up the phone. He got up and headed into the shower, needing to wake himself up fully before he joined the others. He groaned again. He knew that the second that either Danielle or Cassidy got him alone, he would be questioned about last night, asked yet again if there was anything they could do to help. He knew it was inevitable. There was nothing he could do about it. He smiled, his friends were so predictable. They would fuss and worry over him, while Alan would goof off, attempting to take Brad's mind off things.
He got out of the shower, and dried himself before slipping into jeans and a T-shirt. No need to dress up. It was only brunch with the gang. He grabbed his keys as he left his apartment. He knew he would get to the café early, but he didn't see the need to postpone the inevitable. This way, maybe he could get the inquisition out of the way before brunch, and then they would leave him alone for the rest of the day.
Brad scanned the café and spotted Danielle and walked toward the table.
Danielle was in a deep conversation with Cassidy and looked up as Brad reached their table.
"Morning baby. How are you this morning?"
Brad looked at her and smiled, "Fine thanks, how about you, sleep well?"
This was small talk and they both knew it. Cassidy took a sip from his coffee and looked at Brad as he took a seat next to Danielle.
"Hey girlfriend. you're early."
"Aren't I always?" Brad replied.
"Usually, but you were out late last night, so I thought...," Cassidy trailed off. Brad smiled to himself.
'Here we go, so predictable.' He thought.
Danielle took Cassidy's cue, "So, we miss much last night?"
"Nope. We left about half hour after you did."
Danielle and Cassidy both looked at him.
"And..."
"And I think I worried Adam, he knows there is something wrong, but he doesn't know what."
Danielle and Cassidy looked at each other.
"So,you okay?" Danielle asked.
"I don't know," Brad thought about it for a moment, "I mean, he's worried about me, and he thinks it's his fault, so he's not going to settle until he knows what the problem is."
"So, tell him," Alan added, suddenly appearing from nowhere. Brad jumped and spun around, his hand on his chest.
"Jesus Al, give a boy a heart attack, won't ya?" Alan just smirked at Brad.
"Yeah, just be grateful it was me and not Adam that walked in," He said.
Alan plunked himself down next to Cassidy, and stole bacon from Danielle’s plate, "Hey. I was eating that," Danielle said, pretending to be annoyed.
"So," Alan replied, "The bacon will make you fat. Stick to your raw food," Danielle just rolled her eyes at Alan before drinking her orange juice. Things quickly degenerated into a discussion between Alan and Cassidy, which had all four in fits of laughter.
“Wait…you called Adam? He's going to be here?”
“Yes,” Danielle said, “I texted him and he said he would show up.”
Before Brad could say anything, the waitress appeared with their orders. Brad picked at his food, Alan's advice rolling around in the back of his head.
'I can't tell him,' He thought, 'It will ruin everything.'
"No it won’t. He might even still have feelings for you as well," Brad looked up at Cassidy, who was staring intently at him.
"I didn't think I spoke that out loud."
Cassidy smiled.
"You didn't have to. It's written all over your face."
"That obvious huh?"
Cassidy smiled softly.
"Only to someone who knows what's going on."
Brad tried to smile but failed. Cassidy reached over and rested his hand on Brad's.
"It'll be okay Brad, you'll get through this."
"Yeah, we'll get you through it, Cheeks."
Brad turned and looked at Alan and Danielle who had stopped arguing and were eating their food. Brad had not even realized they had stopped fighting. He smiled at them, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
He looked around the café, suddenly aware that there was someone missing, "Where's Adam?" He asked.
Danielle glanced at her watch.
"I don’t know, I told him what time brunch was, it's not like him to miss out on food."
Brad got up from the table.
"I am gonna go call him and see what he's doing. He probably fell asleep again."
"Brad,-" Cassidy started. Brad swung back around.
"Don't start, Cass. He is still my best friend, and I'm not going to start avoiding him just because things didn’t work for us. I am not going to let things get awkward between us. He already thinks he's upset me when he hasn't. I don't want him to blame himself anymore," With that he turned and walked out of the café.
Alan looked back at Cassidy, a wry smile on his lips
"Nice going, Cass."
Cassidy just glared at him before hanging his head. Brad had raised his voice; he never raised his voice, not unless he was really close to the edge. He looked at Danielle, a silent acknowledgment passing between them. They had better keep their heads up, one way or another this was all going to come to a head, and soon.
Brad’s heart sank when Adam didn’t answer his phone. Suddenly he was having a bad feeling about last night’s events. Something was wrong. He could feel it in his heart. He had to see Adam. They needed to talk. So he headed towards Adam’s house.
He made his way slowly toward the gate. He was a little pissed at Cassidy. Although he knew that Cassidy was only trying to look out for him, he wished that sometimes he wasn't so damn overprotective. After all, he was a grown man and he could look after himself. He reached Adam's gate, and stood there for a moment. He couldn't see anything, only Adam’s car, which meant he was probably home. He raised his hand a little hesitantly, and rang the bell and waited. There was no reply. He rang again. Still no answer.
Brad gave the gate a little push, and with a soft click the gate opened. Brad walked slowly inside. The front door was unlocked as well, which made Brad even more worried.
“Adam?”
Scared of what he might face, Brad’s eyes silently scanned the living room. He quickly found Adam. He was sitting on the sofa, facing the window, his head in his hands. He was up and dressed, but made no sign that he had heard Brad. As Brad stood there, he could see the slight shaking of Adam's shoulders, suggesting that he was crying. Brad shut the door behind him gently. A sudden sob from Adam shattered the silence of the room, and jolted Brad. Adam was really crying. Brad felt his heart drop. He couldn't stand to see Adam cry, he never could, so he quietly moved over to his friend and stood in front of him. He knelt down and put a hand on his knee.
"Honey?"
Adam jumped at the contact. He had been so caught up in his emotions that he hadn't even heard Brad come in. Now there he was in front of him watching him cry with the saddest look in his eyes.
It was, Adam thought, almost unreal; Brad's eyes seemed to reflect his own pain. It was almost as if Brad could feel it as well.
Adam took a deep breath and tried to calm himself before he spoke, "H-he said he can't stand me. That I'm no fun anymore."
Brad's heart dropped even further. Drake, he must have broken up with him. Brad sighed. He knew how much Adam had liked Drake, he had stuck with him through Idol, much to the others’ surprise, and now he was dumping him, right when things were starting to calm down a little and get into perspective in Adam’s world. Brad took Adam's hand in his own, and pulled him towards him, locking him in a tight embrace.
"I'm so sorry, Adam; I know how much he meant to you."
Adam wrapped his arms around Brad and held on for dear life. Brad seemed to be the only person capable of keeping him sane. He was there, he was real, and he cared. Adam was eternally grateful for that.
He slowly managed to tell Brad that he had been ready early, and so he had called Drake before brunch, and another man had answered his phone. When he had finally gotten on the line, Drake had told him that it was fun while it lasted, but that he was bored, that he had found himself someone who was more fun. Drake had denied that he had ever loved him, and told him that the excitement had worn off.
The more Adam told him, the worse Brad felt.
‘This must have been how he felt when he found out about me cheating on him,’ Brad thought, ‘God, Adam, how can you even stand being in the same room with me if this is even remotely close to what I did to you? I don’t deserve you, maybe I never did.’
He suddenly had an urge to be as far away from Adam as possible. He wanted to just show up at Drake’s apartment and kill him. He was not normally a violent person, but he could tell how torn up by all this Adam was, and it made his blood boil. But he wouldn't do that. Adam needed him to be there for him, to stay calm and rational. So he kept his own emotions to himself, something that he was quite adept at doing, and he stayed quiet, offering only love and support to Adam, something which he desperately needed.
Adam continued to hold onto Brad, he didn't want to let go. He was scared, so scared. His life had been thrown into turmoil yet again, just as it seemed he was getting his love life back together. It wasn't fair. He liked Drake, in his own way he really did and Drake had been using him the whole time. The shock and sorrow that he had felt had melted away, and now he just felt numb. It seemed like everyone who told him they loved him had left him. Even Brad had betrayed him, had left him and Adam hated that. He hated being used. It seemed that everyone wanted a piece of him, and they just kept taking and taking, until there was nothing of him left to take.
"Why can't anybody love me? Am I that unlovable? Why wasn’t I enough for you, Brad?” He sobbed, “Was it something I did?” Adam asked, burying his head in Brad's shoulder. Brad's heart ached for his love; it seemed Adam was at the end of his tether, his heart had been broken so many times. Even he had broken Adam’s heart and now he wasn't sure if he could ever fix it.
"No Adam, it was me, OK? It was all me. I was the stupid one, OK? Just…don't ever think about yourself like that. You are the most wonderful, lovable man that I know. Your heart is so big, so full of love and there is someone out there for you, I just know it," Brad looked into Adam's eyes; they were so full of pain, and it broke his heart.
Someone better than me.
Adam couldn't say anything, he was feeling so lost and he was barely holding on. He could feel the steady beat of Brad's heart against his chest, but he could no longer feel his own, "You're wrong. Nobody loves me. They can't," He whimpered, “No one can, not even you.”
Brad took Adam's face in his hands. He had to make him see, "Adam, that's not true. You are loved. Your family loves you, your fans love you. I love..."
"It's not the same..." Adam interrupted, “Not anymore.”
"Adam, don't do this to yourself."
Adam pulled away from Brad and stood, wiping the tears from his face.
"Stop it Brad, stop trying to make it better. You can't. All I want is for someone to love me for me, but nobody does. Nobody can," He moved over to the dresser and grabbed his keys before leaving the room.
"I do," Brad whispered, as a solitary tear rolled down his cheek, “I’m still in love with you.”
Adam walked out of his house. His thoughts were still spinning, and he couldn't focus on anything. All he knew was that he felt like he was suffocating and he needed air. Only one word spun around in his head: 'Escape.'He needed to get out, to get away from Brad, away from his band, away from everything. He considered taking a walk, but he knew that he wouldn't get far without causing a riot. He missed that now, he missed the anonymity, the freedom to come and go as he pleased, and not be stopped for his autograph. He never thought he would actually miss his old life.
'But then again,' he thought, 'I would go crazy if I weren't up on stage every night. It's what I live for.'
Those things normally didn't bother him; he had accepted it as part of the price he had to pay for living out his dream. Normally he did not mind interacting with people, but right now it would have just been too much. He didn't think he could handle all the paparazzi, all those people, all those girls, crying and screaming his name. He just wanted to be left alone. He knew if he walked back inside, he had to face Brad and he just couldn’t, at least not yet. So, instead he walked to the back of the house and climbed up the ladder that reached the roof. Up there he could be outside, he could be free from the constant clamor for his attention and for his affection, and he could be alone so he could think.
As he reached to the roof, he inhaled a lungful of air and just held it for a moment, savoring its freshness. It had rained during the night, Adam had heard it and even now he could smell it in the air. He loved that smell, it was fresh, and it was clean. Adam glanced around to find a quiet spot to sit and think.
He sat down and looked over at the city view in front of him. He thought about all the people in that city and what they might be doing at that exact moment. Other people, normal people lived their lives to love and be loved by that special person. Adam was once one of those people. He once had that special person in his life, but not anymore. No, he didn't have that anymore. There was a time when he could not understand how people could be committed to someone else; how a simple phone call or a few brief words could cheer someone up no end, and then Brad had happened. Adam thought about those days. He remembered how they were both so blissfully happy, so secure in their love. He remembered how lucky he used to feel for having Brad in his life. He remembered how he used to think he had found his soul mate in Brad, and for the first time since their breakup, Adam truthfully stared down at the abyss that his life would possibly be without love, without Brad in it. When it came down to it, all the fame and the fortune meant nothing, because at the end of the day he would go back to an empty house. He needed someone to love him, someone to make him complete. Someone who was there for him through everything, and returned the love that he gave to them. Brad's words from earlier rolled around in his head.
'There is someone out there for you, I just know it.'
Adam shook his head. He once had all that in his life and it was all gone now. How could Brad be so sure that somewhere was out there for him when some people went through their whole lives without finding that special person? Maybe he was destined to be one of them. Maybe his short-lived happiness with Brad had only happened to warm and lighten his dull lonely days for the rest of his life.
Back inside the house, Brad was still sitting on the sofa. He was emotionally drained and he felt numb. He didn't know what to feel. He loved Adam so much, but Adam seemed oblivious to it. It seemed like his infidelity had marked Adam for life, and now Adam was threatening to turn away from love completely. Brad hung his head. He had failed him. He had been unable to stop Adam from doing something that was going to destroy him and he knew it.
He knew that everybody needed love and that if Adam pulled away from it, if he allowed himself to become starved of love, he would die. Not physically, but emotionally, as his spirit and all the things that Brad loved about Adam would not survive, and Brad could almost feel his own heart dying right along with it.
Brad jumped as he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled the phone out and answered.
“Hello?”
"Brad?" Cassidy asked softly from the other side, "Brad? What happened? Are you there?" Cassidy said again when Brad remained silent.
“He is gone.”
“What? Who?
"Adam. He's giving up," Brad whispered.
"What do you mean? Giving what up? Singing?" Brad stood up and headed for the door.
"No, he's giving up on love."
Cassidy shut his phone off and walked back to their table. Danielle and Alan were chatting as they drank their coffee. They both registered the panicked look on Cassidy's face and knew something was wrong.
"Cass?" Danielle questioned as she put her cup down.
"What's wrong?" Alan asked as Cassidy sat down and took a deep breath.
"We've got a problem. But I have no idea what it is."
"Huh?"
"What?" Came the confused replies.
Cassidy held up his hands before trying to explain what little he knew.
"Look, I don't know what's happened. I called Brad. He sounded like, I don't know, like...," He paused, trying to find a way to describe what he had heard, "Do you remember how Brad was like when he and Adam broke up? How he sounded?" Alan and Danielle both nodded. Brad had been devastated for a long time, and it had taken him some time to get back to something even remotely resembling normal.
"His voice…he just… he sounded depressed, lifeless," The other two were silent. Cassidy was right. It was bad. Danielle looked up.
"But where's Adam?"
Cassidy shook his head, "I don't know. All Brad said was that Adam is gone and that he was giving up."
"What? His career?" Alan asked.
"No, not singing. Love. He's giving up on love."
"Jesus," Alan breathed, "What the fuck happened?" Danielle shook her head.
"I don't know. And where's Adam?"
They looked at each other, none of them sure what to do. Alan and Cassidy then both turned their attention to Danielle, as if waiting for her to come up with an answer.
Danielle took a deep breath and tried to slow down her thoughts. Everything was spiralling out of control. They needed to know what had happened before they could do anything. They needed to know what happened between Brad and Adam. Adam, where was Adam? Okay, first things first.
“I’m going to Adam’s.”
Danielle drove to Adam’s house in silence. She was at a loss. She knew how badly Adam was hurting. Although Adam and Brad were best friends, it was Danielle that Adam would turn to with his emotional issues. Although he had been wary of Danielle at first, eventually Danielle had managed to break down some of Adam's barriers, and get him to talk. She knew Adam almost as well, if not better, at least in some ways, than Brad did.
"If you know him so well, then where would he go?" Danielle spoke to herself. She thought about it for a minute before the answer suddenly came to her. As soon as she arrived at Adam’s and past the security gate, she jumped out the car and ran to the door and up the stairs.
Danielle bounded up the stairs to the roof, and came to a dead stop just before the door. She took a deep breath. If Adam was up there, she needed to take this carefully, and she couldn't afford to lose her calm. She opened the door slowly, and peered out onto the roof. At first she saw nothing, but as her eyes swept over the empty roof, she could see the unmistakable figure of Adam, sitting on the ground, staring out over the city, his knees bent up to his chest with his head laying on top of them. Danielle sighed. At least she had found him.
She silently closed the door again, so she couldn't be seen, before pulling out her cell phone, "Cassidy, I've found Adam," On the other end of the phone she could hear Cassidy sigh with relief.
"Where?" Cassidy asked.
"He's up on the roof," Danielle paused, "Look, I'm going to talk to him, see if I can find out what's wrong. Why don't you go find Brad and see how he is. Just…keep an eye on him, OK?"
"Do you want me to try and talk to him?" Cassidy asked. Danielle thought for a moment.
"No, hold off for a few Cass, let's see what I can get out of Adam first, then maybe we can make some more sense out of this mess they've got themselves into."
Cassidy chuckled lightly, "You know, I think we should bang their heads together, maybe that will sort them out."
Danielle laughed out loud at that, "Only as a last resort. Bye Cass."
"Good luck Danny."
Danielle chuckled as she turned off her phone and put it in her pocket.
'Great minds really do think alike,' she thought.
Danielle's mood sobered quickly as she stepped out onto the roof. Adam hadn't moved, and still had his back to Danielle so he didn't see her approach. A hot breath of air whipped across the open space, hitting Danielle across the face.
'Adam must have sunstroke,' she thought as she stepped closer. Danielle reached Adam's side, and sat a couple of feet away. She knew from experience that she couldn't force this so she sat close enough that Adam felt her support, but not so close as to invade his personal space, and the barriers he had built around himself.
Adam stiffened as he felt someone's presence. He didn't want anybody to be there, he didn't want to talk about things. He just wanted to be left alone. He could no longer feel anything but the sun against his skin, the heat had made him queasy, but it hadn't fully registered in his mind. Deep down, he was nauseous from the emotional rollercoaster he had been on lately, and he still wasn't thinking clearly enough to register that his body was practically as frozen as his heart.
Danielle just sat there, waiting. Adam knew that Danielle wasn't going to move until he talked but he didn't want to. So he tried to get rid of her. Without turning to look at her he said, "I'm okay D., it's nothing."
Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Danielle give him a patient look, one that his mother used when she was thinking that he didn't know what was best for him and she did. He hated that look. Danielle wasn't his mother; she should just butt out.
"It can't be ‘nothing’ or else you and Brad wouldn't be in this state."
Adam momentarily wondered what she meant by that, but he didn't want to think about it. He just wanted Danielle gone. He decided the only way was to tell her some of the story. Hell it didn't matter, Brad would just tell them anyway. For a brief moment he wondered why Brad hadn't already because it was clear that Danielle had no clue what was wrong.
'Think about that later,' he thought, 'Right now just get rid of her, you don't want Danielle around. She'll get too close.'
"You were right about Drake."
Danielle threw him a confused look, "Right about what?"
"He's a jerk."
That explained a lot to Danielle. Whatever was wrong with Adam had something to do with Drake, and she could make a pretty good guess at what had happened there.
"I'm sorry. I know how much you cared about him."
Danielle reached out to put her hand on Adam's arm. Adam flinched at the contact and pulled quickly away, jumping up and away from her.
"I don't care. I don't. Not anymore."
Danielle got up, worried by Adam's cold, calm tone.
"He can rot in hell for all I care, but I've had it. I've had enough."
Danielle was about to ask what he meant by enough, until Adam turned and looked at her. Suddenly it became all too clear what he meant. Adam turned around, and Danielle found herself staring into two deep dark-blue eyes. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and with Adam that was especially true. His eyes, normally so bright, were dark and dull. In that moment, Danielle knew what Brad had meant when he said that Adam had given up on love. Danielle could feel her breath catch. Adam had been hurt too many times, and now he had closed his heart, unwilling to allow himself to be hurt again. Danielle knew deep down that the only person who could change his mind and could make him believe in love again was Brad. But after hearing Cassidy's description of Brad's state of mind, she didn't know if Brad was going to be strong enough.
"Danielle, just leave me alone, okay? I'll be fine. I just need some time on my own."
Danielle sighed. She knew that being alone was the last thing Adam needed right now. What he really needed was all his friends around him showing him how much they loved him so that they could break down those barriers that Adam had put up. But Adam wasn't about to let that happen.
"Okay honey. Because I care for you so much I'll promise to leave you alone, but only if you come back inside. It's hot out here. You’re going to be sick if you sit here any longer."
Adam looked at Danielle. She was like a sister he had never had. He could see the concern and compassion in her eyes, but he ignored it, he didn't want anybody to feel sorry for him. He was going to be happier this way. Nothing could hurt him now. A sudden gust of hot air blew across the roof, hitting him right across the face, and for the first time, Adam realized that Danielle was right, it was hot. Giving in, he moved towards the door with Danielle following him, and they walked downstairs in silence.
Once he made sure Adam was going to be OK, Danielle headed to Cassidy’s place and knocked softly. The door opened, and Alan let him in. Danielle entered the condo, and closed the door behind her, before heading over to the sofa with the others. "Any luck?" Cassidy asked softly. Danielle sighed.
"Adam wants to be alone."
"That's not good," Alan replied.
"You’re telling me."
"So, what happened?" Alan asked, impatient for answers.
"Sounds like Drake broke up with him. And from Adam's reaction, it wasn't a very amicable break up."
"That explains a lot. That asshole, I knew he'd do this to him," Cassidy said angrily.
"Yeah, but I thought he'd have done it by now," Danielle replied.
"So, how's he taking it?" Alan asked.
"Not good. I think Brad's right. He's shutting himself off from everything and everyone."
"We can't let him do that."
"I know Cass, but what do you suggest?"
Cassidy sighed heavily, "I have no fucking clue," He looked up at the others, "Goddamn it, just when things were getting better for both of them. They both seemed to be doing OK."
"I don't know, man, it sure seems like it though. And Brad's taking this almost as hard as Adam," Alan said, "The big question is: what do we do now?"
Danielle looked at the others, a resigned look on her face.
"To be honest, I don't think there's much that we can do," She held her hands up to stop their protests, "I didn't say we wouldn't try. It's just that we can't help if Adam won't let us," She gestured to the three of them. She could almost see the light bulbs click on over the others’ heads. Alan looked at her, a wry smile on his face, "Brad. He always listens to Brad."
Danielle nodded. Cassidy looked uncertain, "But Brad's in almost as bad a state as Adam is. He can't help Adam right now, he needs help himself."
Alan looked at him as if Cassidy were stupid, "Well duh, we know that," he began, "But Brad won't turn us away."
Danielle filled Cassidy in, "We help Brad, and he helps Adam, and with any luck, those two will find a way back to each other."
Cassidy grinned, finally getting it, "Ohhh, cool, so who gets to talk to Brad?" He asked. The other two turned and looked at him as if he really was stupid.
'Ohh,' he thought. 'Lucky me.'
Chapter 2
Author:
something_rare Beta:
bigj52, who has always been a great support and friend. Thank you, Judy, for your tirelessness in reviewing, your pep talks and everything else. You rock!Graphics:
something_rare Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Brad/Adam
Warnings: Graphic Sex (Not much in this chapter though)
Word Count: ~ 8400
Disclaimer: This story is a written for entertainment only. It is a work of fiction and I make no claims of ownership on any of the involved entities. All real people are converted into fictional characters for this story, and nothing is either implied or assumed about their lives, thoughts, or actions.
Summary: After five years Brad still has feelings for Adam.
Brad ran his finger around the edge of his glass and sighed. He didn't want to be there, but Adam had insisted that he came, and Brad had eventually given in. Now there he was, alone in a sea of people. He looked around. Cass and Danielle sat at a table, looking almost as bored as he felt. Tommy was on the dance floor, grinding away with a redhead. He saw Brad looking and shot him a grin.
‘Well, at least someone is enjoying himself', Brad thought before turning to look for his best friend.
Brad heard a familiar cackle, and looked up to see Adam flirting wildly with a couple of boys who were glowing with the attention.
'Make that two' Brad sighed again as he watched Adam pull two boys onto the dance floor and begin grinding with them. He looked good; he was in the tightest pair of leather pants Brad had ever seen. The pants fit him like a second skin, and that made Brad wonder if Adam was wearing anything under them. He concluded that he probably wasn't and Brad shifted uncomfortably as he felt his groin begin to react.
He stared as Adam moved his body to the music. He looked absolutely great, fuckable. Brad shook images of the past out of his head. That was all in the past. Now, Adam was just his friend, his best friend. Brad smiled to himself. Adam was finally happy. His life was finally going in the direction he had always wanted it to go. He was almost back to the person Brad had known before. Before Brad had cheated on him, before he had betrayed his trust, before he had trampled all over his heart. Adam was much better now, and Brad was grateful for that, even if that meant he could not have much of a role in Adam’s life anymore. Adam was happy and that was enough. Suddenly Brad realized as he stood transfixed by his friend dancing, that he was still just as much in love with his best friend, if not more so, than he had ever been.
Snapping out of his reverie, Brad downed the rest of his drink and went in search of the bar, needing to get away from Adam before he walked over there, spun him around and kissed him. He knew better than that. Had more self-control, something he had developed after months of struggling with the temptation of calling Adam in the middle of the night, of showing up at Adam’s door and begging him to take him back. He had told himself a million times that he had been stupid enough to ruin everything between them and he couldn’t afford to have those feelings for Adam anymore. He had tried to convince himself that he had to come to terms with the fact that he and Adam were over for good, and that he should find somebody else. He had tried, he really had, but every relationship had been doomed from the start because none of them were Adam.
Suddenly he was clapped on the back, and he jumped.
"Jumpy much?" Danielle asked as she slipped onto the stool next to her friend.
"Sorry," Brad replied, looking over at her. Danielle frowned at the look in Brad's eyes, recognizing it instantly. Brad gave her a half smile and picked up the shot glass in front of him, downing it, grimacing as the liquid burnt its’ way down his throat.
"You okay?" Danielle asked. Brad looked at her but his attention was drawn to Adam, who was visible over Danielle's shoulder. Danielle realized Brad wasn't looking at her and turned to see what had caught his attention. Seeing Adam, Danielle sighed, and turned back to Brad.
"Don't torture yourself."
Brad looked back at his friend and smiled ruefully.
"Can't help it."
Danielle shook her head sadly. She knew she couldn't fix Brad's problem, that she would have to continue to stand by and watch as he tortured himself with an unreciprocated love, only able to offer support, and a shoulder to cry on when it all became too much to bear.
Danielle turned and focused on the dance floor, easily spotting Adam in the crowd. Brad had become more and more withdrawn recently and spent too much time lost in his own thoughts. Danielle, Alan and Cassidy had noticed and discussed it privately, aware of Brad's feelings, but unable to find a resolution. She turned back to Brad, who was still staring at Adam.
"You wanna blow this party and go home?" Brad looked at her and shrugged. He knew Danielle was trying to help him, but he also knew he was a hopeless case.
"No, I'm gonna stick around for a bit," He glanced over to the exit, spotting two familiar figures there.
"It looks like Cassidy and Alan are ready to leave as well. Why don't you go back with them?" Danielle eyed him warily.
"Look Danny, I'll be okay, I swear. I've managed to handle it for all these months, I can handle it for one more night, okay?" Danielle stood up reluctantly and moved away from the bar.
"Okay sweetheart, but if you need me you know where I am."
"Thanks D."
Danielle just nodded and smiled before disappearing into the crowd to catch up with Cassidy and Alan.
Danielle reached her friends and as they got into Cassidy’s car they turned to look at her with a question in their eyes. Danielle shrugged and shook her head, "He wanted to stay."
Cassidy shook his head in disbelief, "I wish we could do something. He's getting worse every day."
Alan spoke up as well, "I know, Cass. At first I thought it was only natural for him to cling to the last shreds of their relationship, but it’s been months since their breakup. Brad still shows no sign of snapping out of it and I'm starting to get worried."
"Starting?" Danielle said, "I've been worried about this for months, ever since it became obvious that Brad was still truly in love with Adam."
Cassidy nodded in agreement, "I know Danny, but what can we do? We've tried everything, including setting him up with people and yet he keeps coming back to Adam. I guess we've done all we can do to help. Maybe we just have to keep supporting him and let things work out for themselves."
They looked at each other, knowing deep down that really, it was all they could do. They spent the remainder of the trip in silence, all trying to find another solution to their friend’s problem.
Back at the club, Brad turned back to the bar and ordered a bottle of water; he didn't feel like getting drunk. He lifted the bottle to his lips and took a swig. He continued to stare at the people on the dance floor, looking but not really seeing, as he became lost in his own thoughts once again. He didn't see Adam approach him, nor did he react, until he felt the bottle he had been holding being removed from his hand. He suddenly realized that Adam was standing in front of him, and watched as he lifted Brad's drink to his lips and downed the remainder in one swift gulp before licking his lips.
"Thanks baby, I needed that," Adam smirked.
Brad swallowed hard, trying desperately not to react to Adam's closeness, and the action of his tongue. However, the tightening in his pants announced to him that he was failing miserably.
A concerned look flickered across Adam's face, as he picked up on Brad's internal struggle, unsure of the cause.
"C'mon sugar lips, this party sucks. Let's get outta here."
"I thought you were gonna be getting some action tonight," Brad smiled. Adam looked at Brad and grinned.
"What! Those boys, no, they just want to be able to say they fucked Adam Lambert, and you know I don't want to deal with that. I want to go before they come looking for me."
Brad laughed at Adam's reasoning and nodded.
"Cool. Come on, I’ll take you home," Adam said, before reaching behind Brad to place the empty bottle on the bar. As Adam leaned into him, Brad took a sharp breath, hoping Adam didn't feel his erection, and yet, at the same time, wishing for him to stay close as his senses were assaulted with Adam's smell and touch. Adam backed off and grabbed Brad's hand, pulling him towards the exit, apparently having not noticed at all.
Outside the club the cold night air quickly chilled Brad, and he shivered. Behind him Adam called for his pickup before pocketing his cell. He frowned as Brad wrapped his arms around himself; seemingly as much to comfort himself as to keep himself warm. Adam knew Brad well enough to know that something was seriously wrong with Brad, but he wasn't sure what it was. He walked up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, frowning again when Brad jumped at the contact.
"Talk to me, Brad. What's wrong?"
Brad turned slightly towards Adam, taking in the concerned look on his face.
"It's nothing, girlfriend, I'm fine."
At that moment Adam’s ride came into the view, and Brad jumped in, trying to escape from further questioning. Adam got in as well, and sat across from his friend, who was picking at invisible lint on his slacks. The car started moving, and Adam stared out of the window at the passing scenery, unwilling to push his friend, knowing it would do no good.
Brad breathed a small sigh of relief when it seemed that Adam wasn't going to push him, and he rested his head against the back of the seat and closed his eyes. Adam looked at Brad's reflection in the window and sighed as well. He knew that something was wrong. He was sure of it. He tried to think back over the past few months. He had known that something had been bothering Brad for a long time. At first he had assumed that it had something to do with their awkward relationship after their breakup and decided they both needed some time to get over the fact that even though they were no longer a couple, they were still best friends. Then their private pictures had surfaced on the internet during the competition and Adam had concluded that Brad had been beating himself up for not being able to help Adam through those problems. But now, even though Idol was over and the media had stopped discussing and commenting on those pictures, and even though he was doing great in his career, Brad's depression had remained. Adam knew that his best friend was beating himself up over something, but had the distinct sense that all those problems could only be a part of it.
Adam turned and looked at his best friend. Brad was still leaning back in his seat, eyes closed, seemingly at rest, but the tightness of Brad's features and the way he held his body told Adam that Brad was anything but relaxed. Brad appeared to be okay, and waved people off whenever he was asked what was wrong, but Adam knew that boy. He knew him well enough to know that something was eating at him. He knew that Brad had always been hiding a part of himself from people, from almost anyone but Adam, so he felt like he should have been the first person to know what was wrong with Brad.
Adam smiled as he considered Brad's nature. He was a sweet, caring guy with a heart that was almost too big for his own good. He cared a little too much sometimes about everything, even the comments made in the press after those pictures surfacing. It seemed that he would brush off a compliment, yet he took any criticism to heart, caring too much about irrelevant reporters’ comments, even what Adam’s fans were saying on the internet about him and not focusing enough on what those close to him were saying. ‘Maybe that was it’, he thought. Yeah, maybe. There had been some talk recently; people had criticized Brad for refusing to discuss his personal life with the media. Some people had even accused Brad of being a gold digger, an attention whore, of being the one publishing those pictures to the public in the first place. Adam knew that one of the things most likely to hurt Brad was the implication that he was not a good friend. Adam had not known any of this until recently, and he had been so angry that he was ready to blast someone for even making the suggestion that Brad was after his money or his fame, at least, that was until Brad had come in and calmed him down. He had told him that it didn't matter; that as long as Adam knew that it wasn't true then it shouldn't matter and Adam had let it drop.
He smiled at this. Brad was the only one who could do that, could keep him level-headed. No one else had that effect on him. Others would just wind him up further, but Brad could calm him with a few soft words, sometimes even just a sympathetic look, and Adam would calm down. It was like they were two halves of the same coin, one balancing out the other.
Just then the car slowed to a stop, and a knock on the glass let them know that they had arrived. Brad jumped up and shot out of the car, as if trying to escape, and Adam watched his retreating back as he followed Brad.
With a hasty ‘goodbye’ and a wave over his shoulder, Brad walked inside his building.
Brad's thoughts swam as he slumped against the back wall of the elevator on the way up to his apartment. He knew that it looked bad, him bolting like that, but he just couldn't stand it any longer. The whole way back in the car, Brad had been a mass of mixed emotions. He knew that Adam was worried about him, that he wanted to help, and that he was sad because he thought he was the cause. Brad smiled to himself at that. Adam was partly right in thinking that he was one of the reasons, but it was not the reason that he thought. The lift opened onto his floor, and Brad headed straight for his apartment, not wanting to deal with any of the neighbors at that moment.
He popped the key into the lock and turned the handle, opening the door. He slipped inside and closed the door, locking it behind him, before heading straight for the bedroom. He lay on his bed, breathing deeply, trying to regain his composure. The ride had been almost too much. In that confined space, Brad had felt surrounded by Adam. He could feel his presence, the weight of his stare, the smell of his cologne combined with his sweat. He could almost sense what Adam was thinking, and he knew Adam was worrying about him. All those things had built up inside of Brad, until he thought that he was going to explode. That was why he ran. He just couldn't take one more minute of that without breaking down and confessing to Adam that he still had feelings for him and that was the one thing that he just couldn't do. It's not that Adam would not understand, he would say he understood and that he admired Brad for being brave and honest about his feelings. He already knew that. It was just that he didn't want to ruin their friendship. He did not want to make things awkward between them, not after all their efforts to keep their friendship the way it was. Deep down Brad was simply petrified that Adam would turn away from him if he knew he was still in love with him, and so he wouldn't tell him. Better to still be in love from afar, he thought, than to risk losing Adam altogether.
In the silence of his room, Brad could hear a faint ding as the elevator door opened, and someone stepped out onto their floor. He instantly knew it was Adam. Ever since they met, Brad had always had the ability to sense Adam’s presence when he was around, even if out of his sight, so he knew Adam was somewhere outside his door. He listened as the soft footsteps came closer to his apartment. Suddenly they stopped, right outside his door, and he held his breath. He didn't think that he was composed enough to deal with Adam yet, and he was frightened that Adam would push him for answers that he wasn't willing to give.
Then he heard the footsteps move away, and a moment later the sound of the elevator door opening then closing. Brad let out the breath he was still holding in a long whoosh.
Thank God Adam is so understanding!
Brad knew that Adam would not push unless he really had to, and as long as Brad appeared to be doing okay, then he would respect Brad's right to privacy. Brad was determined to make an effort, and to make sure that Adam was not blaming himself for Brad's problems.
Adam slumped down on his bed. Once Brad left him in such haste and with a barely audible goodbye, he knew he had to see Brad, to talk to him. He had wanted to go to Brad, to demand answers, and he had even gone after him, even to Brad’s floor, right outside Brad’s door but he just couldn't. He had stood outside Brad's apartment, hand raised, ready to knock, but he just couldn't make himself do it. He knew that unless Brad was willing to talk, it would only make things worse, and Brad seemed to have enough problems without fighting with Adam as well. No, Adam needed to support Brad through this... this, whatever it was, and make sure that he was the best friend to Brad that he had obviously failed to be recently.
Yet again Adam looked back on his past behavior with disdain; he had been too wrapped up in his own life, his own adventure during Idol to really notice the effect of his behavior on people around him. He couldn't believe what a complete bastard he had been to Brad after the photos incident. Adam shook his head. He had been so horrible to him. Brad had always been there for him, right from the start, and no matter what Adam said or did, he knew that Brad would always be there. Yet looking back on those days, he knew he had failed to be there for Brad the way he should have been. He knew how tough things had been for Brad and yet he was too busy with his own life and his own career that he had not cared enough about Brad. He couldn't believe that Brad hadn't turned his back on him. Hell, even he wouldn't have put up with that much shit.
That was just Brad, he was special. Adam sighed. Yeah, Brad was really special, and he deserved better than what he got. Brad was the sweetest, kindest, most lovable person he knew; yet even he, Brad’s ex and now supposedly his best friend, had dumped on him on more than one occasion. Reluctantly he decided that by laying there overanalyzing things he wasn't going to solve anything tonight, and he was going to have to leave it till morning. Maybe Danielle or Cassidy would know what the problem was, maybe all he needed was a good night’s sleep and everything would be better.... Maybe. He eventually drifted into a restless sleep, thinking of Brad.
A ringing sound woke Brad, and he groaned as he rolled over in the bed, getting tangled in the sheets in the process, to answer the phone.
"Morning Mr.Cheeks. Brunch at the café in thirty minutes."
"Okay Cass," Brad answered, before hanging up the phone. He got up and headed into the shower, needing to wake himself up fully before he joined the others. He groaned again. He knew that the second that either Danielle or Cassidy got him alone, he would be questioned about last night, asked yet again if there was anything they could do to help. He knew it was inevitable. There was nothing he could do about it. He smiled, his friends were so predictable. They would fuss and worry over him, while Alan would goof off, attempting to take Brad's mind off things.
He got out of the shower, and dried himself before slipping into jeans and a T-shirt. No need to dress up. It was only brunch with the gang. He grabbed his keys as he left his apartment. He knew he would get to the café early, but he didn't see the need to postpone the inevitable. This way, maybe he could get the inquisition out of the way before brunch, and then they would leave him alone for the rest of the day.
Brad scanned the café and spotted Danielle and walked toward the table.
Danielle was in a deep conversation with Cassidy and looked up as Brad reached their table.
"Morning baby. How are you this morning?"
Brad looked at her and smiled, "Fine thanks, how about you, sleep well?"
This was small talk and they both knew it. Cassidy took a sip from his coffee and looked at Brad as he took a seat next to Danielle.
"Hey girlfriend. you're early."
"Aren't I always?" Brad replied.
"Usually, but you were out late last night, so I thought...," Cassidy trailed off. Brad smiled to himself.
'Here we go, so predictable.' He thought.
Danielle took Cassidy's cue, "So, we miss much last night?"
"Nope. We left about half hour after you did."
Danielle and Cassidy both looked at him.
"And..."
"And I think I worried Adam, he knows there is something wrong, but he doesn't know what."
Danielle and Cassidy looked at each other.
"So,you okay?" Danielle asked.
"I don't know," Brad thought about it for a moment, "I mean, he's worried about me, and he thinks it's his fault, so he's not going to settle until he knows what the problem is."
"So, tell him," Alan added, suddenly appearing from nowhere. Brad jumped and spun around, his hand on his chest.
"Jesus Al, give a boy a heart attack, won't ya?" Alan just smirked at Brad.
"Yeah, just be grateful it was me and not Adam that walked in," He said.
Alan plunked himself down next to Cassidy, and stole bacon from Danielle’s plate, "Hey. I was eating that," Danielle said, pretending to be annoyed.
"So," Alan replied, "The bacon will make you fat. Stick to your raw food," Danielle just rolled her eyes at Alan before drinking her orange juice. Things quickly degenerated into a discussion between Alan and Cassidy, which had all four in fits of laughter.
“Wait…you called Adam? He's going to be here?”
“Yes,” Danielle said, “I texted him and he said he would show up.”
Before Brad could say anything, the waitress appeared with their orders. Brad picked at his food, Alan's advice rolling around in the back of his head.
'I can't tell him,' He thought, 'It will ruin everything.'
"No it won’t. He might even still have feelings for you as well," Brad looked up at Cassidy, who was staring intently at him.
"I didn't think I spoke that out loud."
Cassidy smiled.
"You didn't have to. It's written all over your face."
"That obvious huh?"
Cassidy smiled softly.
"Only to someone who knows what's going on."
Brad tried to smile but failed. Cassidy reached over and rested his hand on Brad's.
"It'll be okay Brad, you'll get through this."
"Yeah, we'll get you through it, Cheeks."
Brad turned and looked at Alan and Danielle who had stopped arguing and were eating their food. Brad had not even realized they had stopped fighting. He smiled at them, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
He looked around the café, suddenly aware that there was someone missing, "Where's Adam?" He asked.
Danielle glanced at her watch.
"I don’t know, I told him what time brunch was, it's not like him to miss out on food."
Brad got up from the table.
"I am gonna go call him and see what he's doing. He probably fell asleep again."
"Brad,-" Cassidy started. Brad swung back around.
"Don't start, Cass. He is still my best friend, and I'm not going to start avoiding him just because things didn’t work for us. I am not going to let things get awkward between us. He already thinks he's upset me when he hasn't. I don't want him to blame himself anymore," With that he turned and walked out of the café.
Alan looked back at Cassidy, a wry smile on his lips
"Nice going, Cass."
Cassidy just glared at him before hanging his head. Brad had raised his voice; he never raised his voice, not unless he was really close to the edge. He looked at Danielle, a silent acknowledgment passing between them. They had better keep their heads up, one way or another this was all going to come to a head, and soon.
Brad’s heart sank when Adam didn’t answer his phone. Suddenly he was having a bad feeling about last night’s events. Something was wrong. He could feel it in his heart. He had to see Adam. They needed to talk. So he headed towards Adam’s house.
He made his way slowly toward the gate. He was a little pissed at Cassidy. Although he knew that Cassidy was only trying to look out for him, he wished that sometimes he wasn't so damn overprotective. After all, he was a grown man and he could look after himself. He reached Adam's gate, and stood there for a moment. He couldn't see anything, only Adam’s car, which meant he was probably home. He raised his hand a little hesitantly, and rang the bell and waited. There was no reply. He rang again. Still no answer.
Brad gave the gate a little push, and with a soft click the gate opened. Brad walked slowly inside. The front door was unlocked as well, which made Brad even more worried.
“Adam?”
Scared of what he might face, Brad’s eyes silently scanned the living room. He quickly found Adam. He was sitting on the sofa, facing the window, his head in his hands. He was up and dressed, but made no sign that he had heard Brad. As Brad stood there, he could see the slight shaking of Adam's shoulders, suggesting that he was crying. Brad shut the door behind him gently. A sudden sob from Adam shattered the silence of the room, and jolted Brad. Adam was really crying. Brad felt his heart drop. He couldn't stand to see Adam cry, he never could, so he quietly moved over to his friend and stood in front of him. He knelt down and put a hand on his knee.
"Honey?"
Adam jumped at the contact. He had been so caught up in his emotions that he hadn't even heard Brad come in. Now there he was in front of him watching him cry with the saddest look in his eyes.
It was, Adam thought, almost unreal; Brad's eyes seemed to reflect his own pain. It was almost as if Brad could feel it as well.
Adam took a deep breath and tried to calm himself before he spoke, "H-he said he can't stand me. That I'm no fun anymore."
Brad's heart dropped even further. Drake, he must have broken up with him. Brad sighed. He knew how much Adam had liked Drake, he had stuck with him through Idol, much to the others’ surprise, and now he was dumping him, right when things were starting to calm down a little and get into perspective in Adam’s world. Brad took Adam's hand in his own, and pulled him towards him, locking him in a tight embrace.
"I'm so sorry, Adam; I know how much he meant to you."
Adam wrapped his arms around Brad and held on for dear life. Brad seemed to be the only person capable of keeping him sane. He was there, he was real, and he cared. Adam was eternally grateful for that.
He slowly managed to tell Brad that he had been ready early, and so he had called Drake before brunch, and another man had answered his phone. When he had finally gotten on the line, Drake had told him that it was fun while it lasted, but that he was bored, that he had found himself someone who was more fun. Drake had denied that he had ever loved him, and told him that the excitement had worn off.
The more Adam told him, the worse Brad felt.
‘This must have been how he felt when he found out about me cheating on him,’ Brad thought, ‘God, Adam, how can you even stand being in the same room with me if this is even remotely close to what I did to you? I don’t deserve you, maybe I never did.’
He suddenly had an urge to be as far away from Adam as possible. He wanted to just show up at Drake’s apartment and kill him. He was not normally a violent person, but he could tell how torn up by all this Adam was, and it made his blood boil. But he wouldn't do that. Adam needed him to be there for him, to stay calm and rational. So he kept his own emotions to himself, something that he was quite adept at doing, and he stayed quiet, offering only love and support to Adam, something which he desperately needed.
Adam continued to hold onto Brad, he didn't want to let go. He was scared, so scared. His life had been thrown into turmoil yet again, just as it seemed he was getting his love life back together. It wasn't fair. He liked Drake, in his own way he really did and Drake had been using him the whole time. The shock and sorrow that he had felt had melted away, and now he just felt numb. It seemed like everyone who told him they loved him had left him. Even Brad had betrayed him, had left him and Adam hated that. He hated being used. It seemed that everyone wanted a piece of him, and they just kept taking and taking, until there was nothing of him left to take.
"Why can't anybody love me? Am I that unlovable? Why wasn’t I enough for you, Brad?” He sobbed, “Was it something I did?” Adam asked, burying his head in Brad's shoulder. Brad's heart ached for his love; it seemed Adam was at the end of his tether, his heart had been broken so many times. Even he had broken Adam’s heart and now he wasn't sure if he could ever fix it.
"No Adam, it was me, OK? It was all me. I was the stupid one, OK? Just…don't ever think about yourself like that. You are the most wonderful, lovable man that I know. Your heart is so big, so full of love and there is someone out there for you, I just know it," Brad looked into Adam's eyes; they were so full of pain, and it broke his heart.
Someone better than me.
Adam couldn't say anything, he was feeling so lost and he was barely holding on. He could feel the steady beat of Brad's heart against his chest, but he could no longer feel his own, "You're wrong. Nobody loves me. They can't," He whimpered, “No one can, not even you.”
Brad took Adam's face in his hands. He had to make him see, "Adam, that's not true. You are loved. Your family loves you, your fans love you. I love..."
"It's not the same..." Adam interrupted, “Not anymore.”
"Adam, don't do this to yourself."
Adam pulled away from Brad and stood, wiping the tears from his face.
"Stop it Brad, stop trying to make it better. You can't. All I want is for someone to love me for me, but nobody does. Nobody can," He moved over to the dresser and grabbed his keys before leaving the room.
"I do," Brad whispered, as a solitary tear rolled down his cheek, “I’m still in love with you.”
Adam walked out of his house. His thoughts were still spinning, and he couldn't focus on anything. All he knew was that he felt like he was suffocating and he needed air. Only one word spun around in his head: 'Escape.'He needed to get out, to get away from Brad, away from his band, away from everything. He considered taking a walk, but he knew that he wouldn't get far without causing a riot. He missed that now, he missed the anonymity, the freedom to come and go as he pleased, and not be stopped for his autograph. He never thought he would actually miss his old life.
'But then again,' he thought, 'I would go crazy if I weren't up on stage every night. It's what I live for.'
Those things normally didn't bother him; he had accepted it as part of the price he had to pay for living out his dream. Normally he did not mind interacting with people, but right now it would have just been too much. He didn't think he could handle all the paparazzi, all those people, all those girls, crying and screaming his name. He just wanted to be left alone. He knew if he walked back inside, he had to face Brad and he just couldn’t, at least not yet. So, instead he walked to the back of the house and climbed up the ladder that reached the roof. Up there he could be outside, he could be free from the constant clamor for his attention and for his affection, and he could be alone so he could think.
As he reached to the roof, he inhaled a lungful of air and just held it for a moment, savoring its freshness. It had rained during the night, Adam had heard it and even now he could smell it in the air. He loved that smell, it was fresh, and it was clean. Adam glanced around to find a quiet spot to sit and think.
He sat down and looked over at the city view in front of him. He thought about all the people in that city and what they might be doing at that exact moment. Other people, normal people lived their lives to love and be loved by that special person. Adam was once one of those people. He once had that special person in his life, but not anymore. No, he didn't have that anymore. There was a time when he could not understand how people could be committed to someone else; how a simple phone call or a few brief words could cheer someone up no end, and then Brad had happened. Adam thought about those days. He remembered how they were both so blissfully happy, so secure in their love. He remembered how lucky he used to feel for having Brad in his life. He remembered how he used to think he had found his soul mate in Brad, and for the first time since their breakup, Adam truthfully stared down at the abyss that his life would possibly be without love, without Brad in it. When it came down to it, all the fame and the fortune meant nothing, because at the end of the day he would go back to an empty house. He needed someone to love him, someone to make him complete. Someone who was there for him through everything, and returned the love that he gave to them. Brad's words from earlier rolled around in his head.
'There is someone out there for you, I just know it.'
Adam shook his head. He once had all that in his life and it was all gone now. How could Brad be so sure that somewhere was out there for him when some people went through their whole lives without finding that special person? Maybe he was destined to be one of them. Maybe his short-lived happiness with Brad had only happened to warm and lighten his dull lonely days for the rest of his life.
Back inside the house, Brad was still sitting on the sofa. He was emotionally drained and he felt numb. He didn't know what to feel. He loved Adam so much, but Adam seemed oblivious to it. It seemed like his infidelity had marked Adam for life, and now Adam was threatening to turn away from love completely. Brad hung his head. He had failed him. He had been unable to stop Adam from doing something that was going to destroy him and he knew it.
He knew that everybody needed love and that if Adam pulled away from it, if he allowed himself to become starved of love, he would die. Not physically, but emotionally, as his spirit and all the things that Brad loved about Adam would not survive, and Brad could almost feel his own heart dying right along with it.
Brad jumped as he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled the phone out and answered.
“Hello?”
"Brad?" Cassidy asked softly from the other side, "Brad? What happened? Are you there?" Cassidy said again when Brad remained silent.
“He is gone.”
“What? Who?
"Adam. He's giving up," Brad whispered.
"What do you mean? Giving what up? Singing?" Brad stood up and headed for the door.
"No, he's giving up on love."
Cassidy shut his phone off and walked back to their table. Danielle and Alan were chatting as they drank their coffee. They both registered the panicked look on Cassidy's face and knew something was wrong.
"Cass?" Danielle questioned as she put her cup down.
"What's wrong?" Alan asked as Cassidy sat down and took a deep breath.
"We've got a problem. But I have no idea what it is."
"Huh?"
"What?" Came the confused replies.
Cassidy held up his hands before trying to explain what little he knew.
"Look, I don't know what's happened. I called Brad. He sounded like, I don't know, like...," He paused, trying to find a way to describe what he had heard, "Do you remember how Brad was like when he and Adam broke up? How he sounded?" Alan and Danielle both nodded. Brad had been devastated for a long time, and it had taken him some time to get back to something even remotely resembling normal.
"His voice…he just… he sounded depressed, lifeless," The other two were silent. Cassidy was right. It was bad. Danielle looked up.
"But where's Adam?"
Cassidy shook his head, "I don't know. All Brad said was that Adam is gone and that he was giving up."
"What? His career?" Alan asked.
"No, not singing. Love. He's giving up on love."
"Jesus," Alan breathed, "What the fuck happened?" Danielle shook her head.
"I don't know. And where's Adam?"
They looked at each other, none of them sure what to do. Alan and Cassidy then both turned their attention to Danielle, as if waiting for her to come up with an answer.
Danielle took a deep breath and tried to slow down her thoughts. Everything was spiralling out of control. They needed to know what had happened before they could do anything. They needed to know what happened between Brad and Adam. Adam, where was Adam? Okay, first things first.
“I’m going to Adam’s.”
Danielle drove to Adam’s house in silence. She was at a loss. She knew how badly Adam was hurting. Although Adam and Brad were best friends, it was Danielle that Adam would turn to with his emotional issues. Although he had been wary of Danielle at first, eventually Danielle had managed to break down some of Adam's barriers, and get him to talk. She knew Adam almost as well, if not better, at least in some ways, than Brad did.
"If you know him so well, then where would he go?" Danielle spoke to herself. She thought about it for a minute before the answer suddenly came to her. As soon as she arrived at Adam’s and past the security gate, she jumped out the car and ran to the door and up the stairs.
Danielle bounded up the stairs to the roof, and came to a dead stop just before the door. She took a deep breath. If Adam was up there, she needed to take this carefully, and she couldn't afford to lose her calm. She opened the door slowly, and peered out onto the roof. At first she saw nothing, but as her eyes swept over the empty roof, she could see the unmistakable figure of Adam, sitting on the ground, staring out over the city, his knees bent up to his chest with his head laying on top of them. Danielle sighed. At least she had found him.
She silently closed the door again, so she couldn't be seen, before pulling out her cell phone, "Cassidy, I've found Adam," On the other end of the phone she could hear Cassidy sigh with relief.
"Where?" Cassidy asked.
"He's up on the roof," Danielle paused, "Look, I'm going to talk to him, see if I can find out what's wrong. Why don't you go find Brad and see how he is. Just…keep an eye on him, OK?"
"Do you want me to try and talk to him?" Cassidy asked. Danielle thought for a moment.
"No, hold off for a few Cass, let's see what I can get out of Adam first, then maybe we can make some more sense out of this mess they've got themselves into."
Cassidy chuckled lightly, "You know, I think we should bang their heads together, maybe that will sort them out."
Danielle laughed out loud at that, "Only as a last resort. Bye Cass."
"Good luck Danny."
Danielle chuckled as she turned off her phone and put it in her pocket.
'Great minds really do think alike,' she thought.
Danielle's mood sobered quickly as she stepped out onto the roof. Adam hadn't moved, and still had his back to Danielle so he didn't see her approach. A hot breath of air whipped across the open space, hitting Danielle across the face.
'Adam must have sunstroke,' she thought as she stepped closer. Danielle reached Adam's side, and sat a couple of feet away. She knew from experience that she couldn't force this so she sat close enough that Adam felt her support, but not so close as to invade his personal space, and the barriers he had built around himself.
Adam stiffened as he felt someone's presence. He didn't want anybody to be there, he didn't want to talk about things. He just wanted to be left alone. He could no longer feel anything but the sun against his skin, the heat had made him queasy, but it hadn't fully registered in his mind. Deep down, he was nauseous from the emotional rollercoaster he had been on lately, and he still wasn't thinking clearly enough to register that his body was practically as frozen as his heart.
Danielle just sat there, waiting. Adam knew that Danielle wasn't going to move until he talked but he didn't want to. So he tried to get rid of her. Without turning to look at her he said, "I'm okay D., it's nothing."
Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Danielle give him a patient look, one that his mother used when she was thinking that he didn't know what was best for him and she did. He hated that look. Danielle wasn't his mother; she should just butt out.
"It can't be ‘nothing’ or else you and Brad wouldn't be in this state."
Adam momentarily wondered what she meant by that, but he didn't want to think about it. He just wanted Danielle gone. He decided the only way was to tell her some of the story. Hell it didn't matter, Brad would just tell them anyway. For a brief moment he wondered why Brad hadn't already because it was clear that Danielle had no clue what was wrong.
'Think about that later,' he thought, 'Right now just get rid of her, you don't want Danielle around. She'll get too close.'
"You were right about Drake."
Danielle threw him a confused look, "Right about what?"
"He's a jerk."
That explained a lot to Danielle. Whatever was wrong with Adam had something to do with Drake, and she could make a pretty good guess at what had happened there.
"I'm sorry. I know how much you cared about him."
Danielle reached out to put her hand on Adam's arm. Adam flinched at the contact and pulled quickly away, jumping up and away from her.
"I don't care. I don't. Not anymore."
Danielle got up, worried by Adam's cold, calm tone.
"He can rot in hell for all I care, but I've had it. I've had enough."
Danielle was about to ask what he meant by enough, until Adam turned and looked at her. Suddenly it became all too clear what he meant. Adam turned around, and Danielle found herself staring into two deep dark-blue eyes. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and with Adam that was especially true. His eyes, normally so bright, were dark and dull. In that moment, Danielle knew what Brad had meant when he said that Adam had given up on love. Danielle could feel her breath catch. Adam had been hurt too many times, and now he had closed his heart, unwilling to allow himself to be hurt again. Danielle knew deep down that the only person who could change his mind and could make him believe in love again was Brad. But after hearing Cassidy's description of Brad's state of mind, she didn't know if Brad was going to be strong enough.
"Danielle, just leave me alone, okay? I'll be fine. I just need some time on my own."
Danielle sighed. She knew that being alone was the last thing Adam needed right now. What he really needed was all his friends around him showing him how much they loved him so that they could break down those barriers that Adam had put up. But Adam wasn't about to let that happen.
"Okay honey. Because I care for you so much I'll promise to leave you alone, but only if you come back inside. It's hot out here. You’re going to be sick if you sit here any longer."
Adam looked at Danielle. She was like a sister he had never had. He could see the concern and compassion in her eyes, but he ignored it, he didn't want anybody to feel sorry for him. He was going to be happier this way. Nothing could hurt him now. A sudden gust of hot air blew across the roof, hitting him right across the face, and for the first time, Adam realized that Danielle was right, it was hot. Giving in, he moved towards the door with Danielle following him, and they walked downstairs in silence.
Once he made sure Adam was going to be OK, Danielle headed to Cassidy’s place and knocked softly. The door opened, and Alan let him in. Danielle entered the condo, and closed the door behind her, before heading over to the sofa with the others. "Any luck?" Cassidy asked softly. Danielle sighed.
"Adam wants to be alone."
"That's not good," Alan replied.
"You’re telling me."
"So, what happened?" Alan asked, impatient for answers.
"Sounds like Drake broke up with him. And from Adam's reaction, it wasn't a very amicable break up."
"That explains a lot. That asshole, I knew he'd do this to him," Cassidy said angrily.
"Yeah, but I thought he'd have done it by now," Danielle replied.
"So, how's he taking it?" Alan asked.
"Not good. I think Brad's right. He's shutting himself off from everything and everyone."
"We can't let him do that."
"I know Cass, but what do you suggest?"
Cassidy sighed heavily, "I have no fucking clue," He looked up at the others, "Goddamn it, just when things were getting better for both of them. They both seemed to be doing OK."
"I don't know, man, it sure seems like it though. And Brad's taking this almost as hard as Adam," Alan said, "The big question is: what do we do now?"
Danielle looked at the others, a resigned look on her face.
"To be honest, I don't think there's much that we can do," She held her hands up to stop their protests, "I didn't say we wouldn't try. It's just that we can't help if Adam won't let us," She gestured to the three of them. She could almost see the light bulbs click on over the others’ heads. Alan looked at her, a wry smile on his face, "Brad. He always listens to Brad."
Danielle nodded. Cassidy looked uncertain, "But Brad's in almost as bad a state as Adam is. He can't help Adam right now, he needs help himself."
Alan looked at him as if Cassidy were stupid, "Well duh, we know that," he began, "But Brad won't turn us away."
Danielle filled Cassidy in, "We help Brad, and he helps Adam, and with any luck, those two will find a way back to each other."
Cassidy grinned, finally getting it, "Ohhh, cool, so who gets to talk to Brad?" He asked. The other two turned and looked at him as if he really was stupid.
'Ohh,' he thought. 'Lucky me.'
Chapter 2
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2010-04-02 04:04 am (UTC)So, what happens next?
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Date: 2010-04-08 09:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-02 07:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-08 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-02 07:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-08 10:12 am (UTC)Yes, universe, are you listening? Some real life Bradam please! lol
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Date: 2010-04-17 04:46 am (UTC)I like the use of all the characters. Seems like a team of experts is on the case to fix Adam and Brad. : )
I'll have to read the rest tomorrow night.
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Date: 2010-04-19 06:06 pm (UTC)I was thinking the other day...with all these characters we know, we might actually make a huge good story, only if we find a great author for it ;) I just gave it a try. :D
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Date: 2010-04-28 10:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-30 05:44 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading...and for the comment. ; )
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Date: 2010-06-07 09:16 pm (UTC)Can't wait for the next chapter.
xoxo
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Date: 2010-08-30 07:57 pm (UTC)