something_rare | Silent Cries, Mighty Echoes

Title: Silent Cries, Mighty Echoes - Chapter One
Pairing: Adam/Tommy
Word Count: 5,991
Rating: R
Warning: Slash Connotation
Summary: Tommy is second guessing his choices, and he is not the only one.
Note: Story title taken from Eloy's eight album.
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. The characters and events are fictious.
Special Thanks: To my fabulous beta readers,

moodwriter and

bigj52. You are gold!

Just take a pebble and cast it to the silent sea, what does happen?

Tommy walked past the fully stocked bar and headed straight for the back of the banquet hall. Opening the emergency exit, he stepped outside and quickly shut the door behind him. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled slowly as he put his foot up against the side of the building and leaned back.

He was well on his way to being drunk.

Pulling out his secret stash of emergency cigarettes, he brought one to his mouth and lit it. Inhaling slowly, he took in every ounce of flavor and then coughed up a storm while exhaling. Smoking was not his forte, a lesson he still hadn’t learned.

Closing his eyes, he immediately started to lose his balance. “Oh shit, I shouldn’t have had that last glass of whatever the hell it was.”

Hearing someone clear their throat, he opened his eyes and stood up straight. “Who’s there?” He looked both ways and desperately searched the immediate area in the darkness. “Hello?”

“Are you still trying to kill yourself with those damn things, Tommy Joe?”

Dropping the cigarette to the ground, he placed his foot on it and stamped the evidence out. “Killing myself with what damn things?” Focusing his eyes to the path directly to his left, he could finally make out a figure standing there in the darkness. “Is that you?”

“It depends on who you think it is.”

He smiled and staggered towards the figure. “It is you.” Once Tommy reached him, he threw his arms up and around his neck. “I thought you said you couldn’t make it.”

Adam pulled Tommy in close. “I didn’t think I I'd be able to, but I changed my plans.” He pulled back a little to see Tommy’s face, “How much have you had to drink, glitterbaby?”

Tommy sighed, rolling his eyes. “Too much.”

“Yeah, no kidding, do you think that’s such a good idea with the soon-to-be-in-laws?”

Tommy laughed loudly. “Fuck, now you sound like Amanda.”

Adam put his arm around Tommy’s shoulders and started to head towards the door. “Speaking of which, where is that fiancee of yours?”

“Inside, making the rounds.”

“Without her husband-to-be?”

Tommy stumbled across the dirt. “Honestly, she probably doesn’t even know I’m missing.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Adam mumbled into Tommy’s ear. Once they reached the door, Adam dropped his arm and straightened his suit. “How do I look?”

“Impeccable, as always.” Tommy straightened his suit as well and smiled. He hated the black suit he was wearing, but he wasn't given a choice. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. "And me?"

“Beautiful, as always.” Adam opened the door and motioned for him to go first. “Maybe just a little drunk too.”

Tommy snapped his head back, placing a finger over his mouth. “Shhh... Don’t tell anyone.”

Adam grabbed Tommy’s arm and pulled him back a little so that he could whisper to him. “Have I ever told anyone any of our secrets, glitterbaby?”

Tommy stifled his laughter. “Fuck, I hope not…”

Walking back into the room, he stopped to look around. Nothing changed. No one even moved. “Amanda’s gonna shit when she sees you. Let’s just hope that you don’t cause too much of a commotion.”

Adam stopped and pointed at himself. “Me?”

“Yeah, you.”

He grunted loudly. “And just how would I do that? You’re the drunk one, remember?”

Tommy found Amanda through the crowd and grabbed Adam’s hand. “You know what I mean, Mr. Rockstar.”

“Oh hell, don’t start with that shit again,” he moaned. “I’m on my time now, not rockstar time.”

Tommy looked back and smiled. “Like you’re ever on your time anymore. Get real.”

Adam mumbled a sarcastic reply to which Tommy was oblivious to. He was too busy trying to make his way through the crowd. Finally reaching his destination, Tommy dropped Adam’s hand and tapped Amanda on the shoulder.

He already knew that she’d probably ignore him. He could hear bits and pieces of her conversation. She was talking with someone about her latest role on Broadway, the exact same conversation she had had with everyone else and their brother. When he didn’t get any response from her, he tapped again.

Amanda glanced back quickly and held up her finger to indicate she would be there in another minute. Sighing, he looked back at Adam. “Now do you see why she probably didn’t even know that I was gone? Sorry.”

Adam nodded and winked at him. He knew exactly how Amanda was. They had been friends now for about ten years. He shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”

As soon as Amanda heard Adam’s voice, she immediately excused herself and turned around. “Adam, I didn’t think you were coming, honey.” Walking up to him, she gave Adam a hug.

“I figured since I am a bestman and all, I should probably try to make it to the engagement party.”

Amanda pulled back and laughed. “You’re a good man.”

“If you say so.” Adam looked over at Tommy and laughed when he saw the look on Tommy’s face. “I think your fiance here needs another drink.”

Amanda looked at Tommy and frowned. “I don’t think so. He looks a little flushed to me already.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Amanda…” Adam shrugged. “I’m thinking he just looks bored.”

Tommy placed his hands on his hips. “Hellllloooo, I’m not deaf guys and I think Adam’s right, I need another drink.” He smiled sweetly at Adam and then at Amanda. “Care to join me?”

Amanda shook her head. “You two go ahead. I got some more schmoozing to do here.”

Adam laughed at Amanda’s choice of words. “Schmoozing?” He looked at Tommy. “Is this the same girl who used to go nude on stage with me?”

“That was a long time ago,” Amanda huffed, throwing her friend a dirty look.

Adam grabbed Tommy’s hand. “Not that long ago, honey… and don’t think I didn’t keep the pictures to prove it either.”

Amanda laughed and then cringed at the thought. “All right, all right, I’ll join you two later.” She turned her back to them and headed towards the table that had six ladies sitting at it, “Take care of my man, and don’t let him drink too much. You know my mother.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “It’s our party, for crying out loud. Who gives a crap what she thinks?”

Amanda was already too far away to hear him, but Adam did and he squeezed Tommy’s hand tightly. “Isn’t she the one paying for this party?”

He shrugged. “So what?” Tommy stopped and searched the room thoroughly. “I don’t even see her anyway. I’ve probably already embarrassed her tonight as it is.”

“I see you haven’t changed.”

Tommy frowned and stood behind Adam when he walked up to the bar. “Nope, not at all.”

Adam looked back at him and flashed that million-dollar smile Tommy was so fond of. “Glad to hear it.”

**********

Their table had been quiet for a while now, and Tommy noticed Amanda glancing at her watch. “It’s two o’clock in the morning already, guys. We’ve been sitting here for over an hour now doing nothing.”

Adam jerked his head back. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant.” She looked over at Tommy. “You feeling okay, baby?”

Tommy smiled at her. “Just drunk… and horny.” He laughed and then winked at Amanda. Placing his hand on her thigh, he slowly started inching his way up.

“Hand-check, kids.” Adam leaned over and lifted up the tablecloth. “And just what do you think you’re doing, Tommy Joe?”

Tommy smiled at Adam, slurring, “Are you j-jealous?”

Adam shrugged. “Maybe…just a little.” He grabbed his drink and downed it. “And drunk too.”

“I think that makes three of us.” Amanda laughed, turning serious. “And what do you have to be jealous of?”

“Oh, I don’t know…” Adam trailed off, letting his head drop back. “Everything, I suppose.”

Tommy brought his hand up and placed it on the table. “Lemme get…this straight…if I can. Mr. Adam Lambert, the…” He cleared his throat, looked over at Amanda and whispered, “We’re not allowed to mention the Rockstar thingie tonight.”

Adam laughed. “Now, now, I didn’t say you couldn’t mention that…I just said that I was on my time.”

Tommy ignored him and continued talking, “Mr. Lambert is jealous of us? Like you don’t have a million girls and boys fawning over you every second of every day.”

Adam frowned. “That’s not fair. It’s not the same thing. They don’t love me; they just want me.” He shook his head and laughed. “Does that make any sense?”

“Oh…like that’s a terrible thing. They just want you.” Amanda mock-laughed. “What I would give to live in your shoes for just one day.”

Tommy shot Amanda a look; “Oh, is that so, Ms. Baker?”

Adam started laughing so hard that he began coughing. “It’s not as great as you think, trust me.” He looked over at Tommy and then back at Amanda. “And what I would give to live in your shoes for just one day…”

Tommy smiled and leaned back in his seat. “Are you saying you want me, Mr. Lambert?”He hiccupped and turned to Amanda. “I think he wants me, dear. You better kick his butt or something…you know…protect my honor.”

Amanda looked over at Adam and teasingly got angry. “Hey, Adam, you want him or what?”

Adam’s eyes grew large. “Who wouldn’t?” Raising his eyebrows, he moaned. “Just look at him.”

Tommy batted his eyelashes. “Ah, thank you, Adam. You sure know the right things to say.” He stopped for a moment to collect his thoughts. “Maybe if we weren’t all so drunk, I’d actually believe you.”

“You don’t believe me?” Adam questioned, looking sad.

“Yeah right, Adam…” Tommy turned to Amanda and rolled his eyes. “We’ve all been friends for what?” He glanced at his watch. “Five years now.”

Amanda laughed. “Your watch tells time in years now, babe?”

Tommy lightly slapped her on the shoulder. “I’m drunk…leave me alone.” Tommy turned to Adam, scrunching up his nose in disgust. “You told me once I was like your brother.”

Amanda sat back and crossed her arms. “You’d do your brother?”

Adam laughed, shaking his head repeatedly back and forth. “That was a long time ago Tommy.” He shrugged his shoulders. “The real question is: would you do me?”

Tommy froze. This conversation was going to places he wasn’t so sure he wanted to go. He looked over at Amanda and half-smiled when he saw her staring him down.

Amanda raised her eyebrows. “Well?”

Tommy shrugged. “Well what?”

“Answer the man: would you do him?” Amanda leaned closer to him and whispered, “It’s okay, honey, you can tell the truth. I won’t get too upset. I’m drunk and besides…we’re not married yet.”

Tommy stared at her in disbelief. “Are you suggesting that I sleep with Adam?”

Amanda threw her arms up in the air. “Sure, why not. That would be hot.”

Tommy looked over at her and sat there dumbfounded. “Oh fuck, I can’t believe you.” He shifted in his seat. “You really are drunk, aren’t you?”

Amanda looked over at Adam and then back at Tommy. “Maybe you should take Adam here for a little test drive. You know, honey, you told me yourself that you have never been with a man, maybe…”

Oh shit, I can’t believe she just said that. Tommy stood up quickly. “Okay, you can shut up now. I don’t want everyone knowing my business.”

“Pluueazzzze, dear. Adam isn’t everyone; he’s a good friend.”

Adam started to shift uncomfortably in his seat now. Tommy noticed it and looked over at him. “Sorry about this, Adam. You’ll have to excuse Amanda here.”

Adam’s voice dropped lower as he let out a little laugh. “You never did answer the question, Tommy.”

Confused and drunk, Tommy looked at Adam. “Huh?”

“Oh for crying out loud, dear… I’m not the only one who’s drunk, am I?” Amanda grabbed his wrist and pulled him down into his seat. “I don’t know, Adam… I think he’s too drunk to even talk about it, let alone do anything about it.”

Tommy pulled his arm away and shot up from his seat. “Oh, is that so, Ms. Baker?” He walked over to Adam and stood directly in front of him. Dropping his gaze to meet Adam’s, he shivered when Adam flashed him a wicked smile. Damn, he was just too sexy when he wanted to be.

Tommy turned around and looked at Amanda. “So you think I’m too drunk, huh?”

Amanda nodded.

Tommy took one last look around the room to make sure the coast was clear of any people lingering, and it was. He straddled Adam’s legs and then froze. What the hell was he about to do?

Adam peered from around him and looked over at Amanda. Shrugging, he raised his eyebrows and then grabbed hold of Tommy’s butt.

When Tommy felt Adam’s hands on his bottom, he immediately let himself fall into Adam’s lap. He looked at Adam quickly and then dropped his gaze.

Amanda’s eyes were glued to them, Tommy didn’t have to turn around to know that. He could feel her gaze boring into the back of his head.

Tommy shifted slightly when he felt Adam’s hand on his chin. Using his hand, Adam lifted Tommy’s face to his. “I don’t think you wanna be moving around too much right now…if you know what I mean.”

Tommy nodded. “Oh, okay,” he whispered back. He tried to drop his head again, but he couldn’t. Adam was holding it firmly in place.

“You two just gonna sit there or what?” Amanda questioned.

That did it. Tommy placed his hands on Adam’s face and slowly drew it towards him. Licking his lips, he smiled at Adam and moaned. He let his gaze drop to Adam’s lips as he slowly placed his on Adam’s.

When their lips met, Tommy once again felt the familiar bolt of electricity passing right through him. It was something he’d not quite felt for a long time. And it felt like it traveled right through his entire body and landed down between his legs.

Within a few seconds, Adam’s hands found their way to the back of Tommy’s neck and when Tommy tried to pull away, Adam’s hands forced him to stay put.

When Tommy opened his mouth a little, Adam’s tongue found its way in immediately. Even though Tommy was a little surprised at first, his tongue quickly found Adam’s.

His lips felt so good.
His hands felt so warm.
His tongue felt even better.

Suddenly, Adam took charge, engulfing Tommy’s lips with his. Allowing himself to relax a little, Tommy’s shoulders went lax as Adam started to end the kiss – much to Tommy’s dismay. Placing big, loud wet kisses on his lips, Adam worked his way to Tommy’s cheek and then stopped right before getting to his ear. “Damn,” he whispered quietly.

For a few seconds, they just sat still. When Amanda cleared her throat loudly, Tommy turned around. “How was that, Ms. Smart-ass?”

“I’m impressed, I think.” She cocked her head to one side. “That was a little strange, seeing someone kiss my fiance and all.”

Tommy got up from Adam’s lap and grabbed the table. He felt somewhat dizzy and weak. He had forgotten the power of Adam’s kisses.

Adam placed his hand on Tommy’s, the one that was resting on the table. “You okay?”

Tommy pulled his hand out from under Adam’s. “Yeah…”

Amanda laughed out loud. “Adam, I think you gave him a knee-weakening kiss or something. He can barely stand up straight.”

Tommy’s head shot over to Amanda. If she had any idea, she wouldn’t be making jokes about it.

Tommy took his coat from the back of his chair and started to walk away. Amanda jumped off her seat. “Where you going, honey?”

“Home.”

“Just a second, we’re coming too.” Amanda motioned for Adam to follow her and they both walked over to Tommy, who was leaning up against the wall, near the exit.

When Amanda reached him, she pulled Tommy into an embrace. “Are you OK, baby?”

“I’m just ready for bed, that’s all.”

“Listen guys, I’m gonna go talk to the manager over there about calling us a cab. I don’t think any of us is up for driving,” Adam said.

Amanda nodded and then turned back to Tommy. “Are you mad at me?”

Tommy shook his head. “Mad at you? For what? Suggesting that I sleep with one of our closest friends? No, why would I be mad at you for THAT?”

She laughed at his harshness. “Okay, honey, calm down.”

“Me calm down? I think you need to calm down.” Tommy pulled away from her and then walked outside. Sitting down on a bench, he turned his back so that it was facing her.

Amanda stood back and kept her distance.

When Adam walked out of the hall, he went up to Amanda and then glanced over at Tommy. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Oh, nothing. He’s just pissed because I brought up the idea of you two sleeping together.”

Adam smiled and spoke sarcastically, “Oh, is that all?”

“I was only kidding… I think.” Amanda rubbed her eyes and then ran her hand through her blonde, thick hair. “He may never talk to us again, you know.”

“Yeah, right. That should make for an interesting marriage.” Adam smiled and then walked over to Tommy. “I wouldn’t worry about it, Amanda. He’ll forgive us.”

Tommy snapped his head back. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that, Adam. I have a hard time forgiving and forgetting.”

Adam placed his hands on Tommy’s shoulders and started to rub him. Leaning over, he whispered in Tommy’s ear, “Oh, I didn’t say anything about forgetting, just forgiving. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’ll be able to forget that kiss –or our other ones for that matter.”

Tommy became rigid. Adam was making him uptight, and he was pretty sure that Adam knew it too when he heard him chuckle quietly. Noticing the cab making its way to the door, he stood up quickly. “Here’s the cab.”

“Where you staying, Adam?”

Adam opened the cab door and watched as Amanda made his way in first, followed by Tommy. “The Carlton. You guys just want to crash at my place? It’s a helluva lot closer.”

Tommy closed his eyes and held his breath in anticipation of Amanda’s reply. In a way, he wanted her to say “sure” but in another way, he wanted her to decline. He shook his head; he needed to lighten up a bit. After all, it was only one kiss and when it came right down to it…it wasn’t even the first time he and Adam had kissed.

Only one problem, that was almost five years ago and they were a lot younger then. Things were different now; they were definitely different.

Opening his eyes, he looked over at Amanda. She was passed out cold, leaning up against the window. He leaned over and grabbed her hand. Holding it up to the ceiling, he let it fall to her lap. Nothing. Not even the slightest movement.

“Yeah, she’s pretty much gone already,” Adam mumbled.

Tommy looked at Adam. “We’d better just head home then.”

“Are you kidding?”

“I’ll figure out a way.”

Adam leaned towards the driver. “To the Carlton, please.”

“Adam, I said I wanted to go home.”

“I know what you said,” he huffed, throwing Tommy an aggravated look. “But did you hear what I said?”

Tommy nodded. “Yes, I did. But I said I could handle it, remember?”

Adam shifted in his seat slightly so that he could see Tommy better without straining his neck. “Okay, this stops here. If I would’ve suggested that you guys stay with me back at the beginning of this evening you would’ve had no problem with it.” He paused for a moment and then lowered his voice, “But now because we kissed, you’re acting all funny. It was just a kiss for fuck’s sake.”

Tommy turned to him. “I know that…”

“Then let it go. I wouldn’t have kissed you if I knew you'd get this upset about it.” He held out his hand and smiled. “Can we just call it a truce and move on now?”

Tommy grabbed his hand and smiled back. “Yeah…” Tommy let his hand drop and then looked over at Amanda. Noticing that she was still passed out, he returned his attention to Adam. “Sorry I got all funny on you.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

For the rest of the ride, all was silent.
Amanda was passed out.
Adam was staring out the window.
And Tommy couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss…

Once they arrived at the hotel, Tommy helped Amanda get out of the cab and then practically carried her to the room. Adam helped him steer Amanda to the bedroom. Adam let Amanda fall to the bed and then looked at Tommy. “I’ll let you undress her, don’t want to go there...if you know what I mean.”

“You sure you don’t just want to stick her drunk ass on the couch?”

Adam laughed, shaking his head. “Nah, you guys can have the bed.” He made his way to the door and then stopped to turn around. “Besides, I’m used to sleeping on just about anything. The couch is actually comfortable compared to some of the things I’ve slept on.”

Tommy smiled as Adam closed the door and then did his best to undress Amanda. After six attempts to get her dress off, he finally gave up and just placed the pillow under her head.

Lying down next to her, he propped himself up on an elbow and stared at her. He loved her but sometimes she could be such a bitch”, no doubt about it. Tonight was one of those times.

After over an hour of staring, he slowly got up from the bed and removed all of his clothing, except for his underwear. He grabbed a robe from the bathroom that was attached to the bedroom, and then headed to the main area.

At first, he didn’t see Adam. It was too dark. Once his eyes became accustomed to the darkness though, he could make out Adam’s figure lying on the couch. “You asleep yet?”

Adam sat up quickly. “No. What’s up?”

“Feel like company?”

Adam patted the couch cushion. “Sure.”

Sitting down on the couch, Tommy moaned. “How you feeling?”

“Not too bad, alcohol has worn off a little.” Raking a hand through his hair, Adam winced. “I think.”

“Yeah, same here.” Tommy stopped for a moment and then sighed, “So, what’s been going on in your life lately?”

Adam sighed back, letting his shoulders slump. “Not a whole hell of a lot, just the usual stuff.”

Although Tommy was not in the band anymore, he knew Adam was on a hiatus, but was due back in the studio soon to record his next album. He really wasn’t referring to music stuff, though. He was referring to his personal life. “Got a boyfriend or anything?”

“Not really…” Adam stopped and looked like he was thinking hard. “No, no one right now.”

“Whatever happened with the last one?”

“We finally split up for good. That was a while ago though.” He laughed a little. “You mean you didn’t hear about that on TMZ or anything?”

Tommy slapped him on the shoulder. “Oh yeah, like I watch TMZ all the time.”

“I know, I’m joking.” Adam fell back against the arm of the couch and then swung his legs over and plopped his feet on Tommy’s lap. “You mind?”

Tommy grabbed his feet and started to rub them. “Just like old times…”

“Almost, huh?”

“Yeah, almost,” he whispered quietly.

Silence.

No one said anything for quite some time. Tommy continued rubbing his feet while Adam moaned softly...something he always used to do when Tommy rubbed his feet.

“You always were good at that,” he said softly, smiling at Tommy.

“Well, don’t tell Amanda…or else I’ll be having to do it for her all the time.”

Adam laughed. “Hey, by the way, I meant to ask you about something she said earlier tonight.”

Tommy stopped rubbing and looked at him. “What?”

“Does she really think you haven't been with a guy?”

Tommy brought his hands up to his eyes and covered them. He was trying to hide from the embarrassment. He had been caught – red handed in a lie. “Do we really have to talk about that?”

Adam pressed his foot hard against Tommy’s thigh. “Yeah, I think we do, considering that I know firsthand that you have been with men before.”

Tommy uncovered his eyes and moaned, “Fuck, don’t tell her that.” Tommy shifted in his seat so that he was facing Adam more. “She doesn’t know about us.”

“Why not?”

“Are you kidding me, Adam? She’d be really pissed if she knew.”

Adam sat up a little and frowned. “Why? It wasn’t like you two were going out or anything at the time. Hell, you didn’t even know her yet.”

He was right. Adam introduced Tommy to Amanda shortly after that fateful night.

“It won’t matter, trust me.”

“Is she that insecure?” Adam questioned, perplexed.

“Honestly?” Tommy shrugged. “Yes, I think she is.” He lowered his voice, “The first time that we actually had sex, she asked me if I had ever been with you and I lied. I don’t know why I lied…but I did. I was scared that she wouldn’t want me if she knew.”

Adam reached over and turned the lamp on. “Why wouldn’t she want you?”

“You don’t know her the way I do. She wanted a straight man and she thinks she’s got a straight man. Case closed,” he replied, waiving his hands in the air.

“Couldn’t she tell?”

Tommy squinted his eyes. “Tell what?”

“Your attraction to men?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Apparently not or she would’ve said something to me about it, I’m sure.” Tossing the pillow at Adam, he continued on. “Why? Am I that obvious?”

Adam shrugged. “I could always tell with you, right from the start. Maybe because of my gaydar…but I knew about you.”

“That was because I told you,” Tommy huffed. “Besides, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Adam shook his head, ignoring Tommy’s last plea. “No, I knew the minute I saw you.”

Tommy covered his eyes again. “Okay, can we just drop it?”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I still feel the same way I did that night. I was honored then and still am that you trusted me enough to let me be your first.”

Tommy half-smiled, peering at him through his hands. “And look where it got me.”

“Hey now, I was dating Drake at the time and felt horribly guilty about it the next morning.”

“I know…”

Adam leaned in closer to Tommy and grabbed his hands off his face. “I’m serious. I don’t want you to think that I just used you or anything.”

“We’ve already talked about this, haven’t we? Like five years ago or something.”

Adam squeezed his hands tightly. “I know we did. You also know that if I hadn't had a boyfriend at the time, things might have turned out differently.”

“Yeah, might have, but you never know…it might not have too.”

Adam frowned. Tommy noticed that he opened his mouth slightly as if he were going to say something, and then closed it. Obviously, he didn’t know what to say to that.

When Adam looked down at their hands that were still joined, Tommy’s gaze followed his. Adam squeezed his hand and then looked back at him. “Have you ever been with anyone besides Amanda?”

Tommy looked up and rolled his eyes. “Well yeah…you silly.”

“No, I mean besides us?”

“Not with any other guy, if that’s what you mean,” Tommy’s reply was barely heard.

Adam shot him a look and Tommy could read the amazement in his eyes. “What are you so surprised about?”

“I don’t know. I just am,” he answered truthfully.

Tommy started to get a little perturbed at his tone. “I’m not a slut you know.”

“I know that.”

“I’m not easy either.”

Adam laughed. “I know that too.”

“Well stop looking at me that way.”

“What way?”

Tommy gave him the evil eye. “Like you feel sorry for me or something.”

Adam cocked his head to the side, scratching it along the way. “Why would I feel sorry for you?”

Tommy sighed, falling back into the couch. “I don’t know…maybe because you think that I missed out on something , like maybe I should’ve had sex with more men so that I knew for sure sex with women… is something I can live with for the rest of my life.”

Adam’s eyes grew large as he listened to Tommy ramble on.

“Or maybe you feel sorry for Amanda.” He took a deep breath and swung his head around. “Is that it?”

Adam shook his head.

“Then why do you feel sorry for me?”

“I never said I did, you did,” Adam huffed, shaking his head. “I am thinking that maybe you have some issues though.”

“Why would you think that?” Tommy threw back at him.

Adam smiled at him and then cupped his ears. “Did you just hear what you said?”

“Of course I did. Why?”

Adam tilted his head and looked concerned. “Maybe you’re the one who feels sorry for yourself.”

Tommy scrunched up his face and blew a breath out his mouth. “That’s ridiculous.”

Adam laughed out loud and then got up and walked towards the fully stocked bar. “You want something to drink?”

“Are you changing the subject?”

Adam stopped and turned around. “Not at all…just thought maybe you could use a drink.”

“You think I need more to drink?”

Adam grabbed two waters and walked back to the couch. “I wasn’t referring to alcohol.” Handing Tommy a water, he sat back down. “Now, where were we? Oh yes, you were saying that you felt sorry for yourself.”

Tommy grabbed the water roughly from his hand. “I never said that.”

“I’m pretty good at reading between the lines then.”

Tommy laughed and then got up. “Maybe I should just head to bed.”

Adam grabbed his hand and pulled him back down on the couch. “Oh, no, you’re not. You’re gonna tell me what’s bothering you.”

There was silence for some time before Tommy finally swallowed his pride. “I don’t know, Adam…it’s just that sometimes I don't think Amanda is completely satisfied. Why else would she say that she’d love to live in your shoes for a day?”

Adam scooted right next to Tommy and put his arm around him. “Tommy, I’ve heard that from a lot of people. Hell, even my own brother…I wouldn’t take that as Amanda feeling unsatisfied.”

Tommy suddenly felt uneasy. He really didn’t want to talk about his sexual issues with anyone, especially someone he’s harbored a crush on for years. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I’m always right, babe. Haven’t you realized that yet?”

When Adam’s hand started to rub Tommy’s neck, he felt himself relax. It felt good. Dropping his head forward, he shifted himself so that his back was to Adam. “That feels good…use both hands.”

Adam obliged.

No words were spoken for the next ten minutes as Adam massaged Tommy’s neck. Pulling his robe down off his shoulders, Adam worked his way down a little. “Ah…would you scratch my back too?” he asked quietly.

“What do I look like, your personal masseuse?”

Tommy dropped his head back as far as he could and smiled at Adam. “Something like that.”

Adam gave him an evil grin. “You want your back massaged, you’re gonna have to lose that robe.”

“Totally?” he gasped, grabbing the ties of his robe. He didn’t want Adam to see his bulge.

Adam laughed and reached around him. Grabbing hold of the tie that held the robe in place, he untied it. Tommy watched Adam’s hands in motion and closed his eyes. When Adam pushed the robe completely off Tommy’s shoulders, the back of the robe fell to the couch. Suddenly he felt very vulnerable…and naked.

Hell, he was vulnerable.
And naked.

He crossed his arms in front of him. Adam noticed immediately and leaned forward to whisper in his ear, “Would it make you more comfortable if I turned the lights off?”

Tommy nodded.

Adam reached behind him and turned the lamp off. “Better?”

He nodded again.

“You want to lie down on the floor?”

Tommy looked down at the floor. “Where are you gonna sit then?”

“On your ass,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“Excuse me?”

Adam got up from the couch and sat on the floor. Patting the floor, he motioned for Tommy to follow. “I’ll sit next to you, better?”

Tommy got up, held unto the robe the best he could and did as he was told.

Once he was situated comfortably, with the robe still covering his bottom, Adam started massaging and scratching his back. “You’re a little tense…something wrong?”

“No.”

“You sure about that?”

Tommy’s reply was muffled, “No.”

“Wedding plans starting to take their toll?”

He lied, “Yeah.” Truth was he was tense for one reason and one reason only…Adam was turning him on. He’d only really felt this turned on by someone one other time in his life…his first time with Adam. And how appropriate that it was with Adam then, just like now. He closed his eyes and remembered back to that time. A time when he was so vulnerable…and infatuated…with Adam.

He silently wondered if he would ever be able to get over this crush of his, ever. He knew it wasn’t right. He knew it would lead to nothing but heartbreak. He knew, deep in his heart, that it was about the worst thing he could ever feel.

Did he still feel the same way now as he did five years ago? Sadly, yes. He had a crush, a big crush on someone other than his soon-to-be wife. How sad is that? Pretty sad in his opinion.

“Tommy, do you really think Amanda meant what she said tonight?”

Coming out of his thoughts, Tommy lifted his head slightly. “What’d she say?”

Adam leaned over and whispered in his ear, “About taking me for a test drive?”

Tommy froze. When he finally started to breathe again, he dropped his head back to the floor, “I don’t know. She was drunk.”

Adam remained silent and continued with his massage.

The quietness was making Tommy uneasy. He knew Adam all too well and figured he was replaying the night over and over again in his head. He was sure that Adam was trying to hammer out all the details.

“Adam?”

He spoke in a soft, low voice. “Yeah?”

“Don’t try to analyze it. It doesn’t make sense.”

Adam laughed and then lay down on the floor next to Tommy. “You can read me like a book, can’t you?”

“Sometimes,” Tommy replied, smiling at him.

Adam was flat on his back. Turning his head slightly to look at Tommy, he sighed. “Would you think that I was a complete asshole if I asked you for a going-away gift?”

Tommy scrunched up his face at him. “Going away? Who’s going away?”

“You…in a way.” He closed his eyes and continued on, “Right now, I can’t stop thinking about making love to you.”

Tommy’s eyes widened. “What?”

Instead of answering Tommy, Adam moved his head closer to his and placed his lips directly on top of Tommy’s. Instead of him pulling away, Tommy kissed him back. It was just a simple, quick kiss, but it was one that left him wanting more.